Hello, I'm Miss Kumar, and I'm so pleased that you've chosen to learn with me today.

Today's lesson is called "A Healthy Friendship," and it's taken from our unit, Healthy Relationships: How do I build Good Relationships? There might be some parts of the lesson that make you feel upset or uncomfortable.

We really recommend that you do this lesson with a trusted adult.

If at any stage you do feel upset or uncomfortable, please pause the video and speak to your trusted adult.

The outcome for today's lesson is, I can describe the features of healthy friendships.

Before we begin any learning, let's remind ourselves of those important ground rules.

Laura reminds us to listen to others.

"It is okay to disagree with each other, but we need to make sure that we listen properly before making assumptions or deciding how to respond." And if and when you do disagree, make sure that you challenge the statement and not the person.

Andeep reminds us to respect privacy.

"We can discuss examples, but let's make sure that we don't use names, descriptions, or any other details that could identify anyone, and that includes ourselves." Izzy reminds us that it's okay for us to choose our own level of participation.

"Everyone has the right to choose whether or not they want to answer a question or join in a discussion.

We must never make anyone feel put on the spot." And finally, Jacob reminds us, "No judgement.

We can explore beliefs and misunderstandings about a topic, but we should be able to do this without fear of being judged." Throughout today's lesson, you'll notice that there are two words in bold black font.

These are keywords.

Let's take a quick look at today's keywords and what they mean.

Respect.

Respect is being considerate of others and the world around you.

It's treating people fairly, and how you would like to be treated.

Boundary.

In this context, boundary is an imaginary line separating what you will and won't allow.

Today's lesson is split into two parts.

Let's start with part one, how can healthy friendships make us feel.

Laura and Jun are talking about friendships.

Laura says, "Friendship is a close relationship between two or more people who care about and support each other." June says, "Friendships can happen both in person and online." Time for our first check for understanding.

Using what you've just learned from Laura and Jun, can you work out who is correct? Sam says, "Friendships only happen in person between people in your family." Sofia says, "Friendships can be diverse and only happen online." Alex says, "Friendships can be diverse and can happen online and in person." You can pause to have a think, and then press play when you're ready to move on.

The answer is Alex.

Friendships can be diverse and they can happen both online and in person.

Lucas says, "I have friendships with a wide range of people in so many different contexts.

Each of these friendships is different.

How do I know whether these friendships are healthy?" Healthy friendships have a range of different features in common.

Let's take a look at some of those features now.

Respect.

Healthy friendships should be built on respect.

That means being considerate towards each other, and treating each other the way that we ourselves would want to be treated.

Boundaries.

Healthy friendships should respect one another's boundaries.

If a friend doesn't feel comfortable in a situation or doing something, we should respect that boundary, and should not put any pressure on them to do things that they don't want to.

Kindness.

Healthy friendships are built on kindness, kind words, kind actions.

Honesty.

If you're in a healthy friendship, you should find that you're comfortable enough to tell one another how you're feeling.

And trust.

Healthy friendships are built on trust.

Trust is being able to believe that what your friend tells you is true, and being able to trust that your friend is there to look out for you and not to harm you.

Which feature of a healthy friendship is missing from this list? Boundaries, respect, kindness, and honesty.

Pause to have a think.

Press play when you're ready to move on.

The missing feature is trust.

Well done if you got that correct.

David describes how Emily was considerate towards him and showed him respect.

He says, "Emily noticed that I was quiet at lunch and asked if I was okay.

I hesitated at first, but shared that I needed space to think.

Instead of pushing, Emily nodded, saying, 'Let me know if you want to talk.

'" How did Emily show respect towards David? You can pause to have a think, and then just press play when you're ready to move on.

Emily showed respect towards David by allowing him to express his emotions without making him feel stupid, scared, or embarrassed.

She didn't judge him.

Emily also showed respect by listening to David and genuinely valuing his feelings.

She valued the fact that he needed some space.

We can show respect within friendships in lots of different ways.

Sam says, "We can show respect by disagreeing with someone without letting it cause an argument." It's okay to have a difference of opinions, but we need to be able to express that without falling out.

Sofia says, "We can show respect by treating someone fairly, regardless of your differences." And Alex says, "We can show respect by understanding the different boundaries that people might have." Fields often have physical boundaries, designating the beginning and end of different areas of land.

In this image, you can see that there's a wooden fence.

The wooden fence is a boundary.

It separates one field from another.

Just in the same way as a landowner might have a fence to set a physical line around their land, boundaries are also a feature of healthy friendships.

Boundaries help people to communicate their needs, feelings, and comfort levels.

Showing respect for a person's boundaries means acknowledging, that means taking notice, and honouring these limits without judgement or pressure.

Respect for a person's boundaries is a very important part of a healthy friendship.

Time for another check for understanding.

I wonder if you can complete the following statement.

In a healthy relationship, it is really important that we show respect for a person's blank.

Pause the video to have a think.

Press play when you're ready to move on.

The answer is boundaries.

Well done if you got that correct.

In the conversation that will appear below, what are Megan's boundaries, and how does Chloe respect them? Megan says, "Do you remember last week when you wanted to catch up after school and I said, 'I couldn't?' I know I said yes at first, but I was feeling overwhelmed and needed some quiet time at home.

I was worried you'd be upset, but you didn't make me feel bad about it, and that meant a lot." Chloe replied, "Of course, I get it.

Everyone needs time to themselves sometimes.

If you ever need a break, just say so.

I'll always understand." Where are the boundaries, and how are they respected? You can pause to have a think.

Press play when you're ready to move on.

Megan shows that one of her boundaries is a need for personal space, especially when she's feeling overwhelmed.

Chloe shows respect towards Megan's boundaries by making it clear that she understands that everyone needs a break sometimes, and she shows that respect even when Meghan changes her mind.

This mutual understanding means that Meghan and Chloe are able to trust each other, which is an important feature of a healthy friendship.

Showing respect and understanding a person's boundaries are two features of a healthy friendship.

Let's have a look at another scenario.

In this scenario, how does Amira, who's 14, show kindness and honesty towards Holly, who's also 14, and how do you think Amira's actions might make Holly feel? Holly was upset after seeing an unkind comment about her in a group chat.

Unsure of how to handle it, she turned to Amira.

Amira told her that she'd already noticed the comment and immediately supported Holly, acknowledging how wrong it was and helped Holly to report the post." Amira showed kindness and honesty towards Holly.

She did this by supporting her immediately, telling Holly that she already knew about the comment, and helping Holly to report the post.

This means that Holly is more likely to trust Amira, which is an important feature of a healthy friendship.

How might being in a healthy friendship make someone feel? Aisha says, "It makes me feel positive and happy." Andeep says, "I feel safe and confident." What other feelings might you have in a healthy friendship? I hope that you've been able to think of a few.

In a healthy friendship, you might feel valued, accepted, and listened to.

Time for another check for understanding.

Who is describing how someone might feel in a healthy friendship? Sam says, "Respect for a person's boundaries is really important in a healthy friendship." Sofia says, "Kindness is an important feature of a healthy friendship." And Alex says, "A healthy friendship might increase your positivity and confidence." You can pause to have a think.

Press play when you're ready to move on.

The answer is, Alex.

This was a bit of a tricky question, because respect for boundaries and kindness are both important features of friendship.

However, the question was asking how healthy friendships make people feel, and Alex talks about positivity and confidence, which are feelings.

Well done if you got that correct.

That brings us to the first task for today's lesson.

Task A.

Read Isaac's story.

For part one, I'd like you to identify examples that show the features of a healthy friendship.

For part two, explain how this interaction might have made Isaac feel.

"Isaac sat at his desk overwhelmed by the pressure of exams. A message from his friend interrupted his thoughts.

Sensing Isaac's stress, his friend encouraged him to take a break and they went through a walk.

After some hesitation, Isaac opened up, whilst his friend listened carefully and reminded Isaac of his strengths." You can pause the video to carry out the task, and when you're ready to see some answers, just press play.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

You might have said the following.

Number one, Isaac is shown respect by his friend who listens carefully to his concerns.

He helps him to understand his own boundaries, encouraging him to take a break from work.

He shows kindness, walking with Isaac to encourage him to communicate.

Isaac also shows honesty, opening up about his feelings and showing that he can trust his friend.

For part two, Isaac might have felt a range of positive feelings.

He would've felt happy to be supported, safe as a result of having someone to confide in, as well as more confident in his work and positive in his outlook.

Well done if you got that correct.

That brings us to the second part of today's lesson, how can unhealthy friendships make us feel? Not all friendships are healthy all of the time.

What's important is that we're able to recognise when a friendship might be unhealthy.

Just like the features of a healthy friendship that we looked at earlier this lesson, there are also features of an unhealthy friendship, and it's important that we know what they are.

A lack of respect.

This is when one friend treats another friend unfairly, or in a way that they wouldn't want to be treated themselves.

Not appreciating each other's boundaries.

This could be perhaps where one friend puts pressure on another to do something that they're not comfortable with.

A lack of kindness.

This is when a friend doesn't treat another friend with consideration or thoughtfulness.

It might be unkind words or unkind actions.

A lack of honesty.

In an unhealthy friendship, people might not feel comfortable enough to be honest about how they feel.

They might even find they have to hide things.

And, a lack of trust.

This is when a friend can't believe what another friend is telling them, and they have doubts about whether they're being honest.

Time for another check for understanding.

Which two features of an unhealthy friendship are missing from this list? Lack of kindness, lack of honesty, and lack of trust.

You can pause the video to have a quick think.

Just press play when you're ready to move on.

The missing features are lack of respect and not appreciating each other's boundaries.

Well done if you got that correct.

An unhealthy friendship is likely to have an impact or an effect on how we are feeling.

Chloe is sharing a story about a friendship that is unhealthy.

How might she be feeling? She says, "I used to feel excited about hanging out with my best friend since primary school, but lately, things feel different.

Whenever we are together, she makes mean jokes about my clothes or tells secrets I have asked her to keep private." You can pause the video to have a quick think.

Just press play when you're ready to move on.

The chances are that Chloe feels unsafe, uncomfortable, and disrespected.

Let's have a look at another scenario.

Jack also shares a story about a friendship that became unhealthy.

How might he have been feeling? "I used to really enjoy spending time with my friend, but more recently, things just haven't felt right.

Every time I don't do what he asks me to, he calls me boring and laughs at me, making me feel like I have to do what he wants." Again, you can pause the video to have a think, and just press play when you're ready to move on.

The chances are that Jack also feels unsafe, uncomfortable, and disrespected.

Well done if you got those.

Just like Chloe and Jack, in an unhealthy friendship, a person might feel unsafe, uncomfortable, disrespected.

These feelings can sometimes be difficult to understand and difficult to manage.

We should always talk to a trusted adult if we are experiencing these feelings.

Time for another check for understanding.

Which of the following statements best describes how an unhealthy friendship might make you feel? A, you might experience a sense of disrespect, B, there might be a lack of kindness, and C, you might not know someone's boundaries.

Pause the video to have a think.

Just press play when you're ready to move on.

The answer is A, you might experience a sense of disrespect.

Well done if you got that correct.

That brings us to the second and final task for today's lesson.

Task B.

Read the scenario and answer the questions on the next slide.

"We've been friends for years.

She recently spent hours making a card filled with memories.

When I forgot my lunch, she shared her lunch with me without hesitation.

But our friendship isn't perfect.

She teases me about my clumsiness in front of others, and though I laugh along, I feel embarrassed.

Recently, when I asked for quiet time to study, she kept messaging me, demanding to know why I wasn't replying.

Once she shared a secret I had trusted her with at school, brushing it off as not a big deal.

Though we care deeply for each other, we both realised our friendship needed to change." The questions are, number one, identify three statements from the scenario that exemplify, that means show, the features of a healthy friendship.

Number two, identify three statements from the scenario that exemplify or show the features of an unhealthy friendship.

And number three, explain how the person in the scenario might be feeling as a result of the friendship that they are in.

You can pause the video to do this task.

When you're ready to see the answers, just press play.

How did you get on? Let's have a look at possible answers together.

Your answers to the questions might have included the following.

Number one, "She recently spent hours making a card filled with memories." This shows kindness.

Number two, "She shared her lunch with me without hesitation." This shows kindness and respect.

And number three, "We both realised our friendship needed to change." This shows honesty.

For question number two.

"She teases me about my clumsiness." This shows a lack of respect and a lack of kindness.

"She kept messaging me, demanding to know why I wasn't replying." This is not appreciating boundaries.

And, "Once she shared a secret that I'd trusted her with at school." This shows a lack of trust and a lack of honesty.

And finally, number three.

The person might be feeling really conflicted, because there are features of both a healthy and unhealthy friendship.

They might also be feeling glad that they have both acknowledged this issue and agree that things need to change in order for them to have a more healthy relationship moving forward.

Well done if your answers were along those lines.

You've reached the end of today's lesson.

Before we finish, let's take a quick look at today's lesson summary.

Friendships can exist in person and online.

Healthy friendships can make us feel happy, confident, safe, and positive.

People have boundaries, and these should be respected in healthy friendships.

Unhealthy friendships can make us feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or disrespected.

If we feel this way in a friendship, we should speak to a trusted adult.

Friendships evolve over time and do not always neatly fit into the categories healthy and unhealthy.

Well done on all your hard work today.

I hope that you've got a better understanding of what makes a healthy friendship.

If you need further support or guidance on anything that you've learned about today, please speak to your trusted adult.

Together with your trusted adult, you can also find more information at the following websites.

Childline, a website and phone line which is able to offer confidential advice and support.

And CEOP.

CEOP helps protect children from online abuse and exploitation.