Lesson video

Hello, my name is Miss Willow, and I'm going to be guiding you through today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Changing Friendships, and it fits into our unit called Healthy Relationships: How can I build good relationships? I'm really looking forward to teaching you today, so let's make a start.

By the end of today's lesson, you will be able to explain why and how friendships change and how to support yourself.

Before we get started with today's learning, we need to go over some ground rules.

These help to make sure that everyone feels comfortable throughout the lesson.

First of all, Laura says that we need to listen to others.

"It's okay to disagree with each other, but we should always listen properly before we make any assumptions or decide how to respond.

When we disagree with someone, it's important to challenge the statement that they've said, not the person themselves." Andeep says, we should respect each other's privacy.

"We can discuss examples, but we shouldn't use any names or descriptions that could identify anyone, including ourselves." If we do want to share an example, we should refer to someone as "my friend." This means that you could be talking about anyone.

Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

"Everyone has the right to choose not to answer a question or to join in with discussion.

We should never put anyone on the spot," as this can make people feel uncomfortable.

And finally, Jacob says, "No judgement.

We can explore our beliefs and any misunderstandings about a topic without fear of being judged." It's really important, if you have any questions throughout this lesson, that you ask them, as it's quite likely that there are other people who have the same question.

When we have a room without judgement , it means that people are free to ask any questions without feeling judged.

We're now going to go through the keywords for today's lesson.

The first keyword is friendship.

Friendship is a relationship between two or more people who care about and support each other.

Conflict: this is a disagreement between two or more people, And emotional maturity: this is the ability to manage your emotions and think rationally even if you are upset or angry.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these keywords and see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into two learning cycles: How can growing up affect a friendship? And How can we handle changing friendships? We're now going to make a start on our first learning cycle: How can growing up affect a friendship? Not all friendships are forever, but this is okay.

Often, friendships can change or end as we grow up.

Growing up can affect a friendship for lots of different reasons.

Our priorities and our interests can change.

We understand our own needs better and what we want from a friendship and who we want to be friends with, and we may go through some major life changes that can affect our friendships too.

Izzy has asked her mum about how growing up affected her friendships.

Izzy's mum says, "When I was your age, my friends and I spent all our time together, but as I grew older, my focus shifted to work and building my life.

Some friends had different goals and we naturally drifted apart.

Then, when I became a mother, my time just wasn't mine anymore.

I had you to care for, work to manage and a home to help run.

It wasn't that I stopped caring, but life just got busier and I didn't have the time to keep up with every single friendship.

Looking at it now, I'm completely fine with these changes and it's just part of life." Izzy's mum tells us that growing up changed her friendships as her priorities and her interests changed.

She says, "My focus shifted to work and building my life, and when I became a mother, my time wasn't just mine anymore.

I had you to care for, work to manage and a home to help run." Izzy's mum tells us that some of her friendships faded over time and that this is a natural part of life.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing so far.

Is this statement true or false? If your friendship with someone ends, you should do whatever it takes to make it strong again.

What do you think? You might want to talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that it's natural for some friendships to fade as people grow older because their priorities and their interests change.

Not every friendship needs to be rekindled.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

Alex has asked his dad about how growing up affected his friendships.

Alex's dad said, "When I was your age, friendships were mostly about having fun, but as I grew older, I realised that true friendship isn't just about spending time together; it's about trust, support and understanding.

Some of my friendships faded because we grew in different directions, but the ones that lasted became deeper and more meaningful.

Growing up teaches you that it's not about having the most friends, but it's about having the right ones." Alex's dad tells us that growing up changed his friendships as his understanding of himself and his own needs developed, what he wanted out of a friendship.

"But as I grew older, I realised that true friendship isn't just about spending time together; it's about trust, support and understanding.

And growing up teaches you that it's not about having the most friends, but it's about having the right friends." Alex's dad tells us that the number of his friendships reduced over time and that this is also a natural part of life.

Aisha's asked her mum about how growing up affected her friendships.

Aisha's mum said, "Life just pulled my friendships in different directions.

University, jobs, moving areas and starting families made it harder to stay as close we used to be.

I don't think it was intentional.

Life just got busier and new responsibilities took over.

For the friendships that stuck, we learned to support each other in different ways, celebrating special occasions from further away and reconnecting when we could." Aisha's mum tells us that growing up resulted in many life changes which affected her friendships.

"Life just pulled my friendships in different directions.

University jobs, moving areas and starting families made it harder to stay close as we used to be." Aisha's mum tells us that her friendships evolved over time to accommodate new circumstances and that this is also a natural part of life.

Let's do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide who is incorrect about how growing up can affect a friendship.

Aisha says that "You might have new priorities and less time for old friends." Andeep says, "When we get older, we don't want to spend time with friends anymore." And Jacob says, "You might go through a major change like moving areas, making it difficult to keep up with all your friendships." Can you decide who is incorrect? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Andeep is incorrect.

Andeep said that when we get older, we don't want to spend time with friends anymore, but this isn't necessarily true.

In many cases, people might want to spend time with their friends, but it becomes harder because of things like a new job or some major life changes.

As we said earlier, our priorities might change and the amount of time that we have to spend with our friends can change too.

Let's move on to your first practise task.

"Growing up does not affect friendships." This statement is incorrect.

Can you correct this statement giving three reasons to explain why it's wrong? You might want to work with the people around you or you might want to work independently.

Pause the video and we'll go through the answers in a few minutes.

Let's have a look and see what you might have said.

You might have said that "growing up can affect friendships in a number of ways.

Our priorities and our interests can change.

For example, needing to focus more on family and work.

As we grow up, we also develop a better understanding of our own needs, meaning that we're likely to be clearer about which friendships work best for us, and so the number of friendships that we have may decrease.

Finally, major life changes may also impact our friendships.

For example, moving areas may result in being less able to maintain all of the same friendships that we had in the past or friendships evolving to accommodate new circumstances." Well done if you had some similar answers.

We are now moving on to our second learning cycle: How can we handle changing friendships? It can be challenging when friendships change or end, especially if there's been a conflict.

We might feel sad, angry, disappointed or confused in these situations, but it's important to remember that friendships changing is a usual part of growing up and that we should be kind to ourselves and others during this process.

It's important that if you're concerned about a friendship, you speak to the adults that you trust, such as family members or teachers.

Some of the ways that you could handle a changing friendship include: showing emotional maturity towards yourself and others, thinking about how their lives are changing or how they're changing and how this might be changing your friendship; you can also keep open communication about how you're feeling, this means having honest conversations about your friendship and how it's making you feel; accepting that a friendship has ended and moving forward, this can be really tricky, but sometimes friendships end and this isn't anyone's fault.

It's important to stay respectful and kind, even in the face of conflict.

We can also handle changing friendships by making space for new friends.

When we lose friends, this can be really tricky, but it can mean that we have more space in our lives for new friends.

And who knows? They could be great friends too.

Let's do another check for understanding.

If you're concerned about a friendship, who can you speak to? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that if you're concerned about a friendship, you could talk to an adult that you trust, such as family members or teachers.

Most people, especially adults, know that it can be tricky when friendships change or end as you get older.

They might be able to give you some good advice or listen to the problem that you're facing.

For this check for understanding, I'd like you to think about which ways of handling changing friendships are missing from the list.

First of all, we have making space for new friends, staying respectful and kind, even if there's conflict, and keeping open communication.

Can you identify which ways of handling a changing friendship are missing from the list? You might want to talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that these were missing: accepting that a friendship has ended, showing emotional maturity, and speaking to a trusted adult.

These are all ways that we can handle a changing friendship.

We're now going to look at Amira's story.

I'd like you to think about how does she handle conflict and the changes in her friendship? Amira says that "Someone from primary school isn't my friend anymore.

We kept arguing and it was really draining.

I decided that the conflict just wasn't worth it and told her that it was time for us to move on.

She agreed, and now we both spend time with other people." So how did Amira handle conflict and the changes in her friendship? She managed the situation by showing emotional maturity.

She decided that it was time for her and her friend to move on.

She agreed and they both spend time with other people.

This response shows emotional maturity.

She also communicated openly with her friend, telling her that it was time to move on.

She also accepted the end of the friendship.

She decided that the conflict wasn't worth it, and so she decided to end the friendship.

She's also made some space for new friends by spending time with other people.

Hopefully these friends will be great new friends too.

We're now going to look at Isaac's story.

How did Isaac handle conflict and the changes in his friendship? Isaac says, "I've been so upset about an argument that I keep having with my friend.

In the past, I might have got angry, but after speaking to my mum, I decided to chat to them and check that they were okay.

We agreed to spend less time together, which has helped a lot." How has Isaac handle this conflict and the changes in his friendship? Isaac managed the situation by asking for advice from a trusted adult.

In this case, he chose his mum.

He showed emotional maturity.

Even though he might have gotten angry, he decided to seek support from a trusted adult.

He also communicated openly with his friend, deciding to chat to them and check that they're okay.

They've stayed respectful and kind despite the conflict and they've decided to spend less time together.

This also shows emotional maturity.

We are now going to look at Megan's story.

How did Megan handle conflicts and the changes in her friendship? Megan says, "I told my teacher about a friendship that wasn't working.

He told me that it is okay for friends to move on and suggested I spend time with others.

I've felt much better since taking this advice.

It makes sense that not all friendships last forever." So how did Megan handle this conflict and the changes in her friendship? Megan managed the situation by asking for advice from a trusted adult.

In this case, she chose her teacher.

She communicated openly, and she's also accepted the end of a friendship.

She's also made space for new friends.

We're now going to do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide who is giving a good example of how you can handle a changing friendship.

Sam says, "You could continue to argue with them and create more conflict." Sofia says, "You could ask to chat to them to share your feelings, even if you're upset." And Alex says, "You could take time away from them and spend it with other people." Who was giving a good example of how you can handle a changing friendship? Pause the video, talk to the people around you or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Sofia and Alex are correct.

A good example of how you could handle a changing friendship could be that you ask to chat to them about your feelings, even if you're upset, just like Sofia's done.

You could also, like Alex, take some time away from them and spend it with other people.

It wouldn't be a good idea to continue to argue with them and create more conflict.

This wouldn't be a good idea of how to handle a changing friendship.

Let's move on to your final practise task.

I'd like you to read Holly's story.

What four pieces of advice could you offer her to help her handle her changing friendship? I'd like you to try to include the words, conflict and emotional maturity in your answer.

This is Holly's story.

Holly says, "It's been so tough at school recently.

One of my friends and I just haven't been getting on and I feel really miserable.

We've been friends for a really long time and it's hard to imagine what life would be like without them.

Every time I go to school, I think I should address the problem, but I just get angry and don't know where to start, or even what makes sense anymore." As you reread Holly's story, I'd like you to think of four pieces of advice that you could offer her to help her handle her changing friendship.

Try to include the words: conflicts and emotional maturity in your answer.

You might want to work in pairs or groups for this or work independently.

Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's have a look and see what you might have said.

One piece of advice could be that even if Holly is feeling angry, it's important that she thinks rationally and shows emotional maturity in order to best resolve the conflict.

Piece of advice number two could be that she should speak to a trusted adult, like a family member or teacher if she's feeling really upset, and she should ask for some advice.

Piece of advice number three, she should also address the problem, perhaps by speaking to the friend and suggesting that they take some time apart to think about if continuing the friendship is a good idea.

And finally, piece of advice number four could be that she might want to identify other people at school that she could spend time with to help her to feel more comfortable and happy at school.

Well done if you had any of these pieces of advice or if you said something similar.

We are now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that growing up can affect a friendship because our priorities and interests can change.

We understand our own needs better.

We may go through major life changes, potentially moving areas, getting a job, going to university, or having a family.

We've learned that not all friendships are forever, but this is okay as everyone experiences their friendships changing or ending as they become older.

We've learned that when there is a conflict or change in a friendship, we should approach the situation with emotional maturity.

We should stay respectful and kind, and we should speak to a trusted adult if we need support.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or some questions.

There are some organisations on the screen who are there to support you, and it's also important that you speak to a trusted adult if you've got any worries, concerns or questions.

Well done for your hard work today.

I've really enjoyed teaching you and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.