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Hello, everyone.

Thank you for joining me today in today's lesson on comparing "My Last Duchess" and "Ozymandias".

I'm Miss Sutherland, and I'll be teaching you today.

In today's lesson, our learning outcome is to evaluate sample responses to an essay question and use them to help me write my own comparative response.

The essay question that we'll be interrogating today is the presentation of power in "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess", two really interesting poems from the power and conflict anthology.

We have three key words, the first one is "undermine".

Undermine means to lessen the effectiveness or power of something or someone.

Arguably, Ramses II and the Duke in "My Last Duchess" both have their power undermined.

Defiance is our next word.

Defiance is behaviour in which you refuse to obey someone or something.

And lastly, despotic.

Despotic means typical of a despot, a ruler who holds absolute power and exercises it in a cruel way.

So we may argue that both "Ozymandias" and the Duke are despotic.

I'll give you a moment to jot down those keywords now, pause the video and write them down.

I hope you'll be keeping your eye out for the use of these words in the lesson, because they're really going to help you with your analysis of power in the two poems that we're going to look at.

So in today's lesson, we'll start off by evaluating introductions to the essay question that we are going to look at, and then we're going to explore a model response.

So let's begin by having a look at introductions and beginning to evaluate the effectiveness of different introductions to ensure we know how to best write our very own introduction.

Before we begin looking at the introductions, we need to have a summary in our minds of the similarities and differences between "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess".

So pause the video and discuss, what similarities and differences do you notice between the presentation of power in "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess"? Pause the video and discuss now.

Here are some ideas.

You may have said that both "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess" explore despotic individuals.

You may have considered how they both display arrogance in the patriarchal figure that they depict.

Differences though, you may talk about how "Ozymandias" has his power destroyed by nature whereas the Duke has his power destroyed by himself, essentially, and the way he portrays himself.

There are just some ideas for you.

(mouse clicks) In your additional materials there are three introductions in response to the question, "Explore the way Browning and Shelley present the power of art in "My Last Duchess" and "Ozymandias".

(mouse clicks) I want you to read the three introductions, and as you're reading discuss with your partner what you notice about each introduction.

Feel free to annotate the introduction, make any notes to help you dissect it properly.

Pause video, read the three introductions and discuss what you notice about each one.

Off you go.

So now let's share some ideas about what we notice about each introduction.

Introduction one heavily focused on the poets rather than the poem content.

Introduction one also mostly focused on biographical details about Browning, and introduction one only began to discuss Shelley in the final two sentences.

Hopefully, this gets you thinking about the effectiveness of introduction one.

Do you think it's effective or not? Keep that answer in your mind for when we rate the introductions a bit later.

Let's move on to introduction two.

Introduction two provided a lengthy definition of power.

It began to explore similarities in the presentation of power in both poems, and it definitely discussed the writer's methods.

Again, keep a little thought in your mind about how effective introduction two was.

Let's move on to introduction three.

Introduction three introduced an overarching similarity between both poems via correlative conjunctions.

Introduction three also explored a nuanced similarity between the poems, that art has the power to expose man, and introduction three also ended with a sentence that uses a contrasting connective.

And the purpose of that was to propose a difference between the two poems. So now we've gone through what we've noticed about each introduction.

(mouse clicks) We're now going to rate each introduction from most to least effective.

Remember to justify your ideas.

So pause the video and rate the introductions from most to least effective.

Off you go.

Let's go through what you might have said.

The most effective introduction is arguably introduction three.

Introduction two is less effective than introduction three, we'll go through the reasons for these in a moment, and introduction one is the least effective.

Let's now look at some reasonings.

(mouse clicks) Introduction three is the most effective because it focuses on big ideas, it focuses on how art can expose the power of man, that's a really big complex and meaningful idea to explore in this essay.

It gives equal weight to each poem.

Now that is the most important thing, perhaps, to consider in an introduction when you're comparing the anthology poems, and the reason for that is because you are being asked to compare, and comparison by default means more than one thing.

You have to look at more than one thing side by side, you have to look at two poems side by side.

And the only way your reader is going to fully know that you are doing that is if you talk about both poems equally, giving equal status to both poems in your introduction.

The next thing introduction three does which makes it effective is it uses comparative and correlative conjunctions to ensure comparisons are being explicitly signposted and made.

So you can really help the reader understand that you're comparing by using the words such as both an and, by using the word similarly, however, whereas.

They are all words that signpost that you are attempting a comparison, and they're words that your reader is going to be looking out for as they read your essay.

Now let's have a look at why introduction one is the least effective.

(mouse clicks) Introduction one does not maintain focus on big ideas, instead it focuses on Browning's life and information about Browning.

But this is not what the question's asking us the question's asking us about the power of art.

It also includes irrelevant biographical details, so we've spoken about it before but only certain contextual points are really going to be relevant in helping you answer your question.

Other facts about the author are peripheral and not necessarily needed to help you explain your points, they're good to know but they're not needed so bear that in mind as you choose the contextual points to include.

And in summary then, introduction one does not answer the question because it doesn't focus on the power of art in both "Ozymandias" and "My Last Duchess", it focuses heavily on one poem.

Remember, we need to include equal weight for both poems on our introduction.

I hope that's helped you see exactly what makes a good introduction.

(mouse clicks) Now based on evaluations that we've just made, decide which statements make up the success criteria for an effective comparative introduction.

So let's go through each statement, and you decide whether they're part of the success criteria for a comparative introduction.

Use qualitative conjunctions to explore overarching similarities, give equal weighting to both poems, analyse quotes, focus on the presentation of big ideas in both poems, focus mainly on one poem and introduce the second towards the end of the paragraph, focus on the poet's biographical details, discuss the writer's methods and use contrast in conjunctions to explore subtle differences.

So pause the video and decide which statements make up the success criteria for an effective comparative introduction.

Off you go.

(mouse clicks) The use of correlative conjunctions to explore overarching similarities is part of the success criteria.

It's a really good idea to start your introduction with the word both, because this is a correlative conjunction that allows the reader to see that you're going to start off by saying how the two poems are similar.

Give equal weighting to both poems. We've already spoken about why that's really important for your introduction.

Focus on the presentation of big ideas in both poems; that is vital to show your reader you're answering the question.

And use contrast in conjunctions to explore subtle differences.

Remember, a comparative essay is not only about similarities, it's about similarities and differences.

To really impress your reader from the get-go, use contrast in conjunctions to explore subtle differences in your introduction, and that usually comes in the last sentence of your introduction.

Well done.

(mouse clicks) I now want you to write your introduction answering the question, explore the way Browning and Shelly present power in "My Last Duchess" and "Ozymandias".

Here's your success criteria.

Moves from the general to specific similarities and specific differences, use correlative conjunctions to explore overarching similarities, gives equal weighting to both poems, focus on the presentation of big ideas in both poems, and use contrast in conjunctions to explore subtle differences.

So that's your success criteria, and here are some sentence starters to help you on your journey.

Both "My Last Duchess" and "Ozymandias" show, more specifically and whilst.

Pause the video now and write your introduction.

Off you go.

So here is some feedback for the introduction two that we read earlier.

What went well? Introduction two began to reference big ideas in both poems using correlative conjunctions.

Introduction two's even better if is to use contrasting conjunctions to explore subtle differences.

Now we've seen how to give really meaningful feedback to another student's introduction.

I want you to give yourself a what went well and even better if from the success criteria.

Off you go, self-assess your work now.

Good effort there everyone.

Let's move on to our second learning cycle where we'll explore a model response.

We're looking at how to construct main body paragraphs now.

In your additional materials there's an essay comparing "My Last Duchess" and "Ozymandias".

Read it through now.

Pause the video and read that model response.

Off you go.

I was really impressed by how that model answer stayed focused on the question the whole way through.

(mouse clicks) I now want you to read the model essay once more independently.

You're going to deconstruct the model completing the below tasks.

The first task is to highlight where it discusses the presentation of power through language analysis.

I then want you to highlight where it discusses the presentation of power through structural analysis.

I want you to underline any comparative/correlative conjunctions you could use in your own essay.

And I want you to underline any interesting contextual points you could use in your own essay.

So pause the video now and deconstruct the model.

Off you go.

It is a really impressive model and I hope you've gained a lot from deconstructing it.

(mouse clicks) Let's check your understanding of the model answer.

This line has been taken from the essay, "Romantic thinkers saw their individuality and creativity as more important than strict adherence to formal rules.

This is reflected through Shelly's manipulation of the sonnet structure." This sentence, does it analyse language to reflect the theme of power? Does it analyse structure to reflect the theme of power? Or does it analyse form to discuss the writer's purposes? Pause video and complete that sentence now.

Well done if you said, "That sentence from the model essay analyses to discuss the writer's purposes." Let's zoom in.

It talks about Shelly's manipulation of the sonnet structure and how it shows that Shelly thought individuality and creativity was more important than formal rules.

So, therefore, that sentence analyses form to discuss the writer's purposes.

(mouse clicks) This line from the essay, "Yet like in 'Ozymandias', the Duke's attempt to use art as a means to exert or prove his own power backfires.

Instead, the painter immortalises his wife's defiance." This sentence is effective because.

it zooms into a language choice, it zoomed into a structural choice, it uses a comparative conjunction to directly compare big ideas, or it discusses the form of both poems. Pause the video and complete the sentence now.

Well done if you said, "This sentence is effective because it uses a comparative conjunction to directly compare big ideas." And the comparative conjunction it uses is the word like, it tells us that "My Last Duchess" is similar to "Ozymandias" in the way that both poets are exposed by their artwork.

(mouse clicks) I now want you to use introduction three and the model essay to backwards plan and create a multiple paragraph outline.

So you'll need to go back to your additional materials now, you'll need to get out introduction three in front of you and get out the model essay in front of you.

And you'll need to think about based on this essay that you've been given, what would thesis be? What would the three topic sentences be? What supporting details did that person use for each of their topic sentences? What are the concluding sentences for each of those paragraphs? And, finally, what notes would the person have for their conclusion? This is a really good way to help you see exactly how someone can go from plan to essay, which will help you in your own planning and writing later on.

So pause the video now and create the multiple paragraph outline for the model essay.

Off you go.

(mouse clicks) Here's an example of just one of those paragraphs being backwards planned, so you have an idea of whether you were on the right track.

So this is the first paragraph of that essay being backward planned.

The thesis.

Whilst the two poems are written in very different forms with different symbols of power, both are sceptical about those in power and reverence about the power of art.

So that thesis statement of course comes from the introduction.

Topic sentence number one, both Shelly and Browning explore the power of art as being superior to that of man.

So that is the first idea this student explores in their essay, from the first paragraph.

Supporting details that the students used.

Shelly's manipulation of the sonnet structure, breaking up the traditional iambic pentameter with caesuras.

Remember, your supporting evidence can be from a range of form, language, and structure.

The second supporting evidence that the student has is the sculpture's work yet survives.

The third is the noun sneer actually portrays the Pharaoh as petty rather than majestic.

And, lastly, the wife's defiance through the spot of joy in her cheeks and the faint half-flush that dies along her throat.

So all of those pieces of supporting evidence support the idea that both Shelly and Browning explore the power of art as being superior to that man.

And that topic sentence, along with the other topic sentences, will prove the thesis.

I hope that will help you with your planning and essay writing in the future.

(mouse clicks) Here's what we've learned today.

Comparative introductions should give equal weighting to both poems and explore the big ideas in both poems. Introductions should use correlative and comparative conjunctions to actively compare poems. Introductions need not focus on biographical details of poets or language devices.

An effective essay compares the two poems on big ideas relating to the question, weaving in comparison throughout paragraphs and using language, form, and structure to support comparisons.

Thank you so much for joining me in today's lesson, I hope to see you again very soon.

(mouse clicks).