Crafting sentence structures to create specific effects.

Hello and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Mr. Young and it is great to be teaching you on this lesson, which is all about sentence structures and using them in our creative writing.

So you are gonna walk away from today's lesson with some really nice tips and tricks to improve your creative writing that you can start using as soon as this lesson is over.

I'm super excited to teach you.

I hope you're super excited to learn.

So let's get started.

So this lesson has a very clear learning outcome, which is as follows.

So by the end of the lesson, everybody should be able to use a range of sentence structures to create specific effects.

And as always, we have some important words, our keywords.

You are going to see them on the screen shortly.

You're gonna see the word and its definition, and I encourage you to jot down that word and its definition if this is new to you or unfamiliar.

So our key words are simple sentence, a sentence containing only a single clause with a subject and verb.

Compound sentence, a sentence containing two independent clauses linked by a conjunction.

So conjunctions are words like, but or and.

Complex sentence, a sentence with a combination of a main clause and a subordinate clause, A subordinate clause, a clause in a sentence that cannot stand alone as a complete sentence.

That means it wouldn't make sense on its own, it compliments a main clause.

And a conjunction so I've just referenced those before.

But a conjunction is a word used to connect clauses or sentences.

So like words like, but or and, would be a conjunction.

Okay so I'm super excited to be teaching you on today's lesson.

So this lesson is all about creative writing.

So that's what our learning cycles are gonna be about.

So number one is all about what makes engaging descriptions.

So we're gonna look at some examples of some student work and how to make those a little bit better.

And hopefully you can take some of those tips and tricks into your own writing.

And then learning cycle two, I'm afraid, is gonna be all about you.

You're gonna be doing a really fantastic piece of descriptive writing.

So taking on board all of those things from Learning Cycle One, and I'm really excited to see how you get on with it.

So without further ado, let's get started with learning cycle one.

Okay, so we are going to look at how to make our descriptive writing as engaging as possible.

So making it as as kind of readable as possible.

People really wanting to read our descriptive writing.

So my first question is one for you.

So what can we do to make our writing as engaging as possible? So pause the video, have a quick discussion, and if you're working independently, just drop down some ideas, but pause the video and push play when you would like to see some feedback.

Okay, some lovely discussions taking place there.

What an enthusiastic start to this lesson.

Super impressed by your energy and hopefully we can keep that going throughout today's entire lesson.

I'll be super impressed if we can.

So what I heard was lots of people talking about vocabulary, language choices, structural choices, and you're right, those things are all super important to keep our writing as engaging as possible.

However, we are gonna focus on a couple of key things today.

So we are gonna focus just on the following four things.

So we are gonna focus on using precise sensory imagery to create setting varying our sentence structures, varied and accurate use of conjunctions and avoiding over-reliance of the word 'the', to begin our sentences.

Something I see quite a lot as a teacher.

So in fact this is going to be a success criteria that we use throughout today's lesson.

So these are the kind of tips and tricks that I was talking about in the beginning that hopefully you'll be able to walk away from this lesson being able to use straight away.

So let's get started with the first one.

Okay, so sensory imagery is a great way for us to describe setting.

So what do, what do I mean by sensory imagery? Pause the video, have a quick discussion, and then push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay yes, you are absolutely correct and I heard lots of people shouting out, sight, taste, touch, all of those senses that we use in our day-to-day life can be a great part of our descriptive writing.

So by sensory imagery we mean descriptive language that engages the reader's five senses.

So those five senses of sight, taste, touch, sound and smell.

So second question then slightly more tricky, a bit more of a kind of reflective question for your own work, do you feel that you are over reliant on any particular sense in your use of sensory imagery? Do you feel you use all five equally or do you kind of privilege one over the other? So pause the video, have a quick reflection, and then push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, lots of people are coming to the similar conclusion there, which is that our descriptions can be over-reliant on sight.

We talk visually about all the things that could be seen in a scene and we sometimes overlook the other senses.

And I absolutely see this as a teacher.

You know, I see lots of written descriptions that include sight more than any other sense.

So what we want to do is kind of vary that as much as possible, our writing will be significantly more engaging if we can employ lots of different examples of the senses.

So when using sensory imagery, it is vital that there is variety across the senses and not an over reliance on one sense at the expense of others.

Okay, so let's take a look at that in action.

So Lucas has written the following piece of description.

Lucas has said, "A fiery spectacle unfolds as molten lava paints the sky.

The landscape bathed in an eerie glow becomes a canvas for the primal dance of an erupting volcano.

The colours are kaleidoscopic in their variety." So what a lovely piece of writing there from Lucas.

I really, really enjoyed that.

So how effective is this piece of description? So if we were gonna give feedback to Lucas, what could we say? Well, I would say that Lucas has included some really nice sensory imagery, particularly in terms of sight.

And in particular he has created a really nice extended metaphor to do this.

Remember, an extended metaphor is a metaphor developed over time.

And that metaphor is this idea of the scene being like a kind of painting and an artist being at work here.

However, Lucas' description is over reliant on the sense of sight with no other senses included.

So although Lucas has done a fantastic job by describing this kind of scene, there are no other examples of sensory imagery.

So that could be a clear target for Lucas.

So how could we improve this? Well, Lucas could rewrite it as follows, "A fiery spectacle unfolds as molten lava paints the sky roaring explosions, deafen echoing nature's raw power.

The landscape bathed in an eerie glow becomes a canvas for the primal dance of an erupting volcano.

The accurate smell of ash fills the air and a distant warmth gently prickles the skin.

So Lucas has taken what was already a fantastic piece of work and he's made it just that little bit better by including all examples of sensory imagery.

So now Lucas's description contains the full range of sensory imagery used in a really precise and sophisticated way, and I'd say he really brings that description of the volcano to life.

So world hand Lucas, really, really great job.

Okay, we can also make our writing engaging by varying our sentence structures.

So discuss what types of sentences and sentence structures can we use to make our writing engaging.

So a bit of a recap question from previous learning.

So pause the video, have a quick discussion, and then push play when you would like to continue.

Okay, some lovely discussions taking place there, and I personally love it to hear students recapping their fantastic learning from previous lessons.

So well done for all of you for picking up on the following.

So we have complex sentences, compound sentences, short sentences, imperative sentences, interrogative sentences, exclamatory sentences, and declarative sentences.

So all of these kind of contribute to a rich tapestry of description so we can deploy them all at different parts of our writing.

So varying our sentence types and even our sentence structure, for example, where we put our subordinate clauses can make our writing very vivid, and very, very engaging.

So quick check for understanding for me then.

So this is gonna go straight over to you.

So the more complex sentences we use, the more engaging our writing will be is that true or false? Pause the video, have a go, and then hit play when you would like to see some feedback.

Okay, it's of course false and well done for identifying that, but let's just make that a little bit trickier.

How could you justify the answer for me then please? So is it A, engaging writing uses a variety of all sentence types and structures.

Or is it B, that compound sentences are just as impressive as complex ones.

So once again, pause the video, complete the task, and then do push play when you'd like to continue.

Yep, you've got it.

It is absolutely A, engaging writing uses a variety of all sentence types and structures.

You know, sometimes students can be misled by the fact that it is a complex sentence and the complex means greater in difficulty.

However, just because you're using complex after complex after complex sentence, that does not mean your writing is more engaging.

The very best writing uses a mixture of all sentence types, to make your writing as insightful and engaging as possible.

Okay, so let's take a look at sentence structures in action.

So Sam has written the following piece of description.

So very similar to Lucas, they are also describing a eruption of a volcano.

So Sam has written, "We soared above the volcano, the earth beneath us was an orange inferno, and the land was lit up with a menacing glow.

We dropped lower.

The smell of acrid smoke pierced my lungs and my companions began to show signs of fear." So really nice piece of writing once again here, really good example from Sam of kind of transporting us into that scene.

I really felt like I was witnessing a volcanic eruption.

However, how could we improve this description? What feedback could we give to Sam? So I would be focusing on a couple of things.

I would be saying that Sam has included some really nice sensory imagery and some really sophisticated vocabulary here.

We've got words like acrid, we've got inferno, which are great examples of sophisticated vocabulary.

However, Sam's description is made up entirely of simple and compound sentences, and this makes Sam's writing seem quite repetitive and quite simplistic.

So how could we improve this? Well, we could vary the sentence type and it might look a little bit like this.

So now Sam's description reads, "Soaring above the Volcano, we witnessed an orange inferno engulfing the earth below.

The lava cast a menacing glow over the land.

As we descended lower, the acrid smoke pierced my lungs and signs of fear emerged among my companions.

How would we navigate this perilous descent into the heart of nature's fury?" So now Sam's description contains varied sentence structures.

There's an interrogative sentence, there's complex sentences as well, and I just think this makes Sam's writing much, much more engaging.

So it was already a really good piece of writing, but just by making these kind of amendments with our sentence structure, Sam has made it even more engaging, which is fantastic to see so well on Sam.

Okay, so let's move on to another way that we can improve our creative writing.

So a common way to improve our written descriptions is to vary how we begin sentences.

Students can often be too reliant on 'the' to begin descriptive sentences.

So we're not saying that you can't ever use 'the', however, sometimes it can be a bit repetitive when we use it too much, it makes our writing seem a little bit boring, which is not really what we want.

So quick discussion, question for you then please.

So how else could we begin descriptive sentences? So pause the video, have a quick chat if you're in a class, if you're working independently, then jot down some ideas and then do push play when you would like to see some feedback.

Okay, some lovely discussions taking place there.

And it was really nice to hear people reflecting on their own writing.

I'm hearing lots of people say, well, do you know what? I actually do use that quite a lot.

So I'm really keen to hear, how I can change that and mix that up in my writing.

So what we could have said, we could have said some of the following things and we could say, start with the word ending in 'ing'.

So gazing out the window, he saw the fiery inferno beneath.

This is a really good way to start sentences and can encourage us to use complex sentences.

We can also use an adverb to start a sentence.

So noisily the helicopters, propellers, lower them deeper into the abyss below.

There's lots and lots of different adverbs we can use and they can really be varied depending on what we're describing.

And we can also begin with a subordinating conjunction.

So a subordinate clause.

So something that only makes sense when the main clause is revealed slightly later.

So an example of that would be, although the heat was extreme, the explorers were undeterred from getting closer to the volcano.

So some really quick wins to improve our writing to kind of get away from the over reliance on 'the'.

So quick check for understanding for me then please.

The helicopters blades spun furiously as they descended.

What would be an appropriate way to change the start of this sentence? Would it be A, start it with an adverb? Would it be B, adding a subordinating conjunction, or would it be C, removing 'the' entirely? So pause the video, have a go, and then push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, well done if you identified either A or B, starting with an adverb or a subordinating conjunction is an absolutely fine way to begin this.

We couldn't remove 'the' entirely because it just wouldn't make sense anymore.

So we're not against 'the', we just want to think about different ways that we can vary our sentence types.

Well done if you are able to pick up on that.

Okay, so let's take a look at this in action.

So Izzy, once again, we are continuing this volcanic theme.

So let's see what Izzy's written.

Izzy has said, "The towering volcano commands attention with its formidable presence.

The colossal peak shrouded in swirling mist, conceals the raw power within.

The ominous rumblings forewarn of potential fury, the molten rivers cascade down the slopes leaving a fiery trail." Again what a lovely piece of description by Izzy.

I feel like I'm watching an erupting volcano just by reading that.

So how effective is this? So I would be saying a couple of different things to Izzy if she was in my class.

I would say, Izzy has included some really nice imagery in her piece.

You know, you can almost see an erupting volcano in front of you when you read that.

And I think that's testament to how fantastic Izzy's use of imagery is.

And there's also this really atmospheric description of the volcano as powerful.

I think that comes across with words like towering and formidable.

However, Izzy's description is over reliant on 'the'.

As we can see there are three different sentences in that description that begin with 'the'.

So that'll be a really quick way for us to improve Izzy's description.

So let's take take a look at how we could do that.

So now Izzy's description reads, "Commanding attention with its formidable presence, the towering volcano casts its colossal peak into the grey sky.

Despite being shrouded in swirling mist, it is still easy to see the raw power within.

Ominous rumblings forewarn of potential fury as molten rivers cascade down the slopes leaving a fiery trail." So now Izzy's description has much more varied sentence openings.

The reliance on 'the' is lost and I would say that Izzy's writing is kind of much more vivid and engaging as a result.

So great job, Izzy.

Okay, our last little tip then of how we can improve our creative writing is as follows.

So conjunctions are words that help us link main clauses in a sentence.

So there are different types we can use in our descriptive writing.

So we have coordinating conjunctions, and these are conjunctions that connect clauses that are equal to each other.

So these include things like and, but so, or or.

And we also have subordinate conjunctions.

So these are conjunctions that connect dependent clauses to independent clauses usually to show cause and effect.

These include after, because, while, and unless.

So, we can use both types of conjunctions in our creative writing.

And the very best writing uses a variety of these.

So a common pitfall you might see in student writing, is that we are just using one of these types of conjunctions and totally neglecting the other.

Okay, quick check for understanding for me then.

So over to you.

So coordinating conjunctions and subordinate conjunctions are interchangeable.

Is that true or false? Pause video, have a quick go and then push play when you like to continue.

That's absolutely right, you've got it, it is false, but can you tell me why? How would you justify that statement? How is that false? Is it A, coordinating conjunctions can only be used in the middle of sentences and subordinate conjunctions only at the beginning? Or is it B, coordinating conjunctions connect clauses that are equal to each other, but subordinate clauses connect one clause that is dependent on another.

Really tricky on this.

Pause the video, have a go, and then push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, it is of course B, coordinating conjunctions connect clauses that are equal to each other.

But subordinate clauses connect one clause that is dependent on the other.

The clue really is subordinate.

If something is subordinate, it is lesser than something else.

So that is a real clue in how we can use those clauses.

So well done if you're able to pick up on that.

Okay, our final example of student work is upon us.

So we have this lovely piece of description from Aisha.

So Aisha has said, "It was a regular Tuesday morning, I looked up and heard the violent explosions spoiling the peaceful blue sky.

The ground quivered beneath me but the volcano's rage had not stopped.

Luminous plumes of ash and smoke bellowed into the air and the deafening roars of the eruption drowned out every other sound." So continuing that volcanic theme, another lovely piece of description of an erupting volcano.

So what could we say about Aisha's work? So let's see what we could say.

I would really be focusing on the fact that this is a really nice first person account of an exploding volcano.

You know, Aisha's used some lovely visual imagery and it really shines throughout this piece, it's a really lovely piece to read.

However, Aisha's description only uses coordinating conjunctions.

She only uses words like and quite regularly.

She could add subordinate conjunctions to greater show the effect of the eruptions.

Remember, that could show a kind of cause and effect relationship.

So how could we improve this? Well, we could do the following.

Aisha could write, "It was a regular Tuesday morning.

I looked up as soon as I heard the violent explosions spoiling the peaceful blue sky, the ground quiver beneath me because the volcanoes rage had not stopped.

Luminous plumes of ash and smoke bellowed into the air while the deafening roars of the eruption drowned out every other sound." So a really small change.

But Aisha has now used subordinate conjunctions to show the effect of the volcano's eruption.

So I would say this gives her writing much more pace and tension as we can really see the impact that the volcano has had on the narrator and the environment around them.

So a really small change, but a really effective one.

It's a really great work from Aisha here.

Okay, so practise task.

My practise task for you is to do exactly what we've been doing.

So Alex wrote the following piece of description about it.

You guessed it, a volcano.

So Alex said, "The volcano was erupting viciously.

I could feel the heat intensify with every step.

The air was thick with the acrid scent of volcanic gases and I was full of doubts.

With instruments in hand I ventured closer capturing data amidst the tumultuous symphony of nature's power.

The volcano's fury was my challenge.

It was also the gateway to unravelling its enigmatic mysteries." So a slightly different interpretation here.

So Alex is writing about a scientist, kind of doing some kind of experiment on an exploding volcano.

However, what is important for you is that Alex was given the following targets.

Alex was asked to vary his sentence types to add a complex and interrogative sentence to vary his sentence openness so 'the' is used less.

And to include subordinate conjunctions in addition to coordinating conjunctions.

So your task is to rewrite Alex's paragraph to take all of this into account.

So I would like you to take those targets and to make Alex's fantastic piece of writing just a little bit better by accommodating those targets.

So really excited to see how you get on with this one and how you apply all those fantastic things that you've focused on in this learning cycle.

So pause the video, complete the task, and then push play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, great job on that.

I think it is actually really tricky to take somebody else's work and kind of treat it as your own because you are working with something that you haven't originally written.

But it is a great task to, really improve your creative writing in this way.

So here is how you could approach this task.

So this description now contains varied sentence type, varied sentence openers and both subordinate and coordinating conjunctions.

So Alex's description reads, "Approaching the erupting volcano.

I could feel the heat intensifier with every step.

The air was thick with the acrid scent of volcanic gases.

As I prepared to undertake my tests a question lingered, could these turbulent forces unlock the secrets hidden within the molten chaos? With instruments in hand, I ventured closer, I captured data even though the tumultuous symphony of nature's power was mere metres away.

The volcano's fury became both my challenge and my aspiration." So you didn't have to do it exactly like that, but if you captured anything similar in your own writing, then you've done a fantastic job on this practise task so really well done.

Okay, we've reached learning cycle two, crafting sentences for effect.

So I'm really gonna hand it over to you in this learning cycle and give you an opportunity to apply all of those fantastic things we spoke about in learning cycle one, so let's get started.

So we are now going to take some time to apply some of these strategies into our own writing.

So remember we have looked at using precise sensory imagery to create setting, varying our sentence structures, varied and accurate use of conjunctions and avoiding over reliance of 'the', to begin our sentences.

So quick discussion question then to kick us off with learning cycle two.

Which of these do you think would be a good target for your own descriptive writing? So pause the video, have a discussion if you're in a classroom, jot down some ideas independently if you're working at home alone, and pause the video and then push play when you'd like to continue.

Okay, once again, lovely discussions and it's lovely to hear people take ownership for your own learning.

Being reflective and working out where your areas of growth and development are, is a really, really important skill, particularly in English.

So it was lovely to hear people kind of saying what their area of focus is.

Some people saying precise sensory imagery, some people talking about sentence structures, everyone having their own kind of area of focus, is a really, really important thing well done.

Okay, so check for understanding then, which of our success criteria is missing please? Pause the video and then hit play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, it is of course varying our sentence structures and I heard several people saying that as a real key target for them.

So hopefully you get a chance to practise that in our next task.

Okay, we have reached our final practise task of this lesson, and this is a lovely opportunity for you to apply all of those fantastic things you've been working on in learning cycle one into a really nice first rate piece of work.

So I'm super excited to see how you get on with this one.

So we are going to be writing in response to an image.

And you've guessed it, that image is of a volcano.

It couldn't be anything else.

So using this image as a prompt, write a description of a deadly landscape and you must follow the following steps.

Step one, your first sentence must end with a full stop.

Step two, your second sentence must be a compound sentence.

Step three, your third sentence must contain a comma for a list.

Step four, your fourth sentence must be complex, starting with a subordinate clause, which is separated by a comma.

Five, your fifth sentence will be compound and conjoined with a subordinate conjunction.

Six your sixth sentence will be an interrogative sentence.

Seven, your seventh sentence will contain six words.

And finally, your final sentence must start with an adverb.

So lots of rules there, but this is a really good way for you to kind of keep those things front and centre of your mind.

So I'm really excited to see how you get on with this.

So pause the video, complete the task, and then do hit play when you'd like to see some feedback.

Okay, great job on that, it is tricky, isn't it? Sometimes to follow those very, very kind of rigid rules.

But I think sometimes when we are practising , which is what we're doing now, they can be really good for keeping those rules front and centre of our mind.

So we've got an example paragraph on the board in front of you.

Yours does not have to be exactly like this, but this is just a way that you could have approached the task.

So let's see.

"The volcano erupted with a deafening roar shaking the earth beneath my feet.

Flames shot into the night sky and cast an eerie glow over the landscape below.

The devastation was extensive with buildings, cars, homes, and parks, all consumed by the volcanoes ferocity.

As the fiery display continued unabated, I marvelled at the awesome power on full display, a growing sense of trepidation settled in whilst the resident's fear increased.

How unpredictable can nature's fury be? Amidst the chaos, a brief silence cautiously I retreated from the volcanic spectacle, awestruck by the raw force exhibited." And well done for your own approach to this task.

Okay, so we have made it to the end.

What a fantastic lesson and what's a fantastic bunch of tips that hopefully you can apply straight away to your own creative writing.

So let's recap just exactly what it was that we have learned today.

So establish a clear setting using precise sensory imagery.

Good writers use a range of sentence structures and types.

Avoid overusing just one sentence structure.

Good writers vary their sentence openings, avoid repetition of 'the'.

Conjunctions, have specific uses, they clarify the relationship between independent clauses and are not interchangeable.

In your writing show off your ability to use varied sentence structures for effect.

Okay, thank you for today's lesson.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, and I very much look forward to teaching you on another lesson in this sequence.

Thank you very much and goodbye.