Hello everybody and welcome to today's lesson.

My name is Miss Halliday and I'll be teaching you today.

I'm really excited to get started with today's learning because we are looking at one of my favourite aspects of functional writing, which is including description.

Now, lots of students don't realise that you can include descriptive writing within your functional writing, but actually it's a really good way to level up your persuasion and to create a really thrilling experience for your reader when they're reading your writing.

So I'm really passionate about students using descriptive writing in their functional writing, and today I'm going to show you exactly how to do that.

So let's get started.

So today's lesson is called, Describing Within Functional Writing.

And by the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to use description to create really interesting functional writing.

But first, here are some keywords that you will need to unlock today's learning, starting with anecdote.

An anecdote is a short personal story told to illustrate a point.

A semantic field is a group of words with shared meaning.

Semantic fields can be used to create figurative language.

And figurative language is any language that is meaningful, but it's not literally true.

And finally, a useful word that you will need for today's lesson is contagious.

And contagious means easily spread or transferred, and it's usually used to describe illnesses or emotions.

If you'd like to take a moment to pause the video and jot any of these definitions down, then please feel free to do so.

So here's today's lesson outline.

We're gonna start by looking at anecdotes and how you can use them to really level up your functional writing.

We're then going to move on to looking at how to incorporate figurative language to persuade a reader.

But let's start first of all by looking at anecdotes.

Here are two different openings to the very same task.

Here's opening A, horror films: the only kind of films that make you peep out from behind your popcorn bucket; the only kind of films that make your toes curl and your face wrinkle in disgust; the only kind of films where you feel both thrilled and frightened simultaneously.

We all love them, right? And then the second opening is here.

When I was nine years old, my friends and I were at a sleepover.

We'd been looking forward to the sleepover for days; it had taken that long to convince my parents to let me host it.

It was late, just before midnight perhaps, my parents were sleeping soundly above us, blissfully, ignorantly unaware that my life was about to change forever.

What I'd like you to discuss, first of all, is well, which opening do you think is more engaging and what are your reasons for your opinion? So I'm gonna invite you now to pause the video while you reread those openings and ideally discuss with the people around you which you think was the most engaging and why.

If you are working independently today, don't worry at all, you can absolutely still do this task.

You can just jot your ideas down instead, pause video and have those discussions now.

Fantastic discussions, really well done.

And I think most people were preferring opening B there, just like Lucas who says, "I really liked the second opening because it used description to build tension in the lead up to revealing the topic." So we're actually not told that the topic is horror films. It's something that we can work out from the writer's use of description, and that can be really engaging, especially at the beginning of a piece of writing.

Now, Jun read option B, and he said, "I didn't know you could use description in functional writing.

How does that work then?" And Lucas replies, "Of course you can! Functional writing that makes use of description is often stronger." And what I'd like you to discuss now is, well, why might including descriptive writing within your functional writing make it stronger.

So again, you can discuss this either with people around you or you can consider it independently if you are working on your own.

But I'd like you to pause the video now while you consider the question on screen.

I can't wait to come back and share ideas together.

So off you go.

Fantastic discussions and some really good suggestions as to exactly how descriptive writing can really strengthen your functional writing.

So basically, writing is all about giving your reader an experience, okay? Including description within functional writing is what gives your reader that experience.

It takes them on some kind of emotional journey, okay? It takes them outside your piece of writing and encourages them to imagine other situations and other possibilities.

So it's really important to include descriptive writing within your functional writing to make sure you are giving that reader that really vivid experience as they're reading your work.

So as Lucas points out, "Using an anecdote, just like opening B did, is a great way to include description to narrate an experience that you had that your reader can then relate to." And Jun adds, "What's the benefit of using an anecdote specifically though?" And Lucas replies, "Well, by using an anecdote, you are sharing an experience with your reader, thereby creating a shared experience that creates a connection between you and your reader." And I really like what Lucas has said here about forging a connection to your reader because that's so important.

If your reader is going to adopt the same perspective as you, they've got to be onside, they've got to be on board, and they've got to feel like they can understand your point of view.

And writing an anecdote is a fantastic way to illustrate why your topic is important or your experiences with a topic that illustrate why you have the authority to speak about it.

So actually using an anecdote to create that shared connection and shared experience is really important and can work really effectively, especially at the beginning of your piece of writing.

And Jun says, "Ah, so you can get them onside and form a relationship with them, very clever!" And it is clever.

It's all about psychology, really.

If somebody feels like they've got a connection to you, they're much more likely to like you, and therefore they're much more likely to adopt your perspective or your opinion.

So thank you so much to Jun and Lucas for their fantastic contributions during this discussion, and let's move on.

So a strong anecdote creates an emotional experience for the reader.

So you can try and get your reader to feel fear, sympathy, excitement, or even anger.

But before you write your anecdote, you've got to consider really carefully how you want your reader to feel.

That's what makes a successful anecdote.

It's very targeted, okay? You know exactly what emotion you're trying to evoke in your reader before you write it.

And then you will tailor your anecdote to kind of evoke that emotion from your reader.

So here's the rest of our anecdotal opening, which was opening B, you never forget your first horror film.

I certainly won't.

I'll never forget watching that immense shark with its rolling eyes, open up its enormous grin to expose rows and rows of vicious, bright white, triangular teeth that seemed to guard the even more horrifying, vast black void beyond.

Even though it wasn't me being swallowed, the black void still seemed to consume me.

I felt myself fixed to the sofa, the room spinning as I watched the last remnant of the unlucky diver in the opening sequence slide into the depths of that enormous dark hole.

Terrifying, utterly terrifying, but of course thrilling, so very thrilling.

So what I'd like you to discuss there now is, well, what feeling do you think that the writer was trying to create within their reader? And why does the writer want to create the shared experience with the reader? What are they achieving in doing so? So I'd like you to consider those questions specifically in relation to the example on screen now.

I'm really interested to hear your thoughts.

So I'd like you to go away and discuss these questions before we come back and share some ideas as a group.

So pause the video and go and discuss those ideas or consider them independently if you're working alone.

Off you go.

Fantastic work, and it was great to see so many of you identifying that the writer was trying really hard to scare the reader and to make them feel the same fear that they felt the first time they watched this horror film.

However, what I think is really important to note is that actually the writer isn't wanting to utterly terrify the reader to the point where they'll never watch a horror film.

Actually, the writer is describing this fear as a really exciting, adrenaline pumping and thrilling experience, okay? The way that they describe the scene of the shark eating the man is so kind of hyperbolic and it's so descriptive that it creates really vivid imagery for the reader.

And we almost feel like we've also watched this film, okay? And by the end, the writer is clarifying that this kind of fear, it's not something to be frightened of, it's not something to avoid.

It's something that we should embrace because it's really, really exciting.

So by creating this really vivid description through the use of an anecdote, the writer is really trying to recreate the feelings that they felt the first time that they ever watched a horror film to show the reader why horror films are so important and why the ride to likes them so much.

So really well done because I heard many of you saying very similar things in your discussions.

So I'm really impressed with how perceptive and insightful you are being in today's lesson, great work.

So Jun read the same anecdotal opening and he said, "I completely see what you mean about creating an experience.

The writer made me feel terrified and then excited.

And that's the way that they felt when they first watched that horror film." And Lucas said, "Exactly, they're describing what it feels like to be in that experience so that you can understand if you haven't experienced anything similar, what it feels like.

For those who have experienced something similar, the writers establishing a connection with them through shared experiences." So I think the real benefit here is that if you have watched a horror film, then great, okay, you can re-experience that kind of thrill and fear at the same time that you felt so many times.

But equally, if you haven't watched a horror film, it doesn't matter because the writer has really successfully recreated what it feels like to watch a horror film anyway.

So you feel as if you've had that experience.

And therefore you can understand where the writer's coming from when they start to talk really passionately about why they love horror films, because you've experienced kind of what it would feel like to watch one.

So in creating that anecdote, the writer is creating that shared experience to make the reader be able to empathise with their topic or their case.

So let's check for understanding, true or false, in order for an anecdote to be effective, the reader has to have experienced what the writer describes? I'm gonna give you a moment now to pause the video while you decide whether you think that is true or whether you think it's false.

So pause the video and make your decision now.

Fantastic work and really well done if you selected false.

What I'd like you to do now is justify why that statement is false using one of the two justifications below.

So I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you read both justifications and decide which you think is the correct reason as to why that statement is in fact false.

So pause the video and make your selection now.

Fantastic and a massive congratulations and a big well done if you correctly selected that it is in fact A, it really shouldn't matter whether or not your reader has experienced the same thing as you because you need to describe it in a way that makes 'em feel as if they've experienced it alongside you.

That's the whole point of an anecdote.

So because often in persuasive writing, you know, we haven't all had the same experiences, not everybody has lived the same life, and therefore it's completely up to the writer to bring that experience to the reader so that they can empathise with their cause or topic.

So a massive well done if you correctly selected A, you are absolutely spot on there and let's move on.

So here's our first task of the lesson.

I'm going to have a look at how an experience is conveyed using description.

So any good anecdote uses language to create really vivid imagery for the reader so that they feel as if they are there.

A good anecdote also is very emotion led.

It describes emotions very clearly to tell the reader how to feel in that situation, because if you haven't been in that situation, you're not quite sure how to feel.

So you as the writer, have to tell and instruct your reader how to feel through your use of description.

So what I'm going to ask you to do now, I'm gonna ask you to reread the model that we have just read together and find at least one example of where the model meets this success criteria above.

Now, you can find the full answer on your worksheet, so make sure that you've got that in front of you as you are completing this task.

So what I'm looking for you to do is find an example and then explain the effect of the quotation that you have chosen upon the reader.

So I want you to think about, well, why is this successful? How does it make the reader think or feel in this moment? And why does that work so well here? So here's an example of what you might say.

You might find the quotation, "It's enormous grin", okay, as an example of the writer creating really vivid imagery for the reader.

And you might say, "Well, this creates vivid imagery through the language choice grin, because this makes the shark seem more threatening.

'cause it creates vivid imagery as we imagine the enjoyment the shark is getting in this moment.

And that is utterly terrifying." Not only is somebody you know passing away in the most awful way, but the shark, the predator, the threat in this film is actually getting a real sense of enjoyment out of that.

And that in itself is horrifying.

So that's a really clever word choice from the writer there.

So there's an example of what I'm looking for you to do.

So I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you go and undertake that activity using the model answer that we have just read together with the anecdote.

Pause the video, and off you go.

Fantastic work, and it was great to see so many of you really pulling that model answer apart and considering how it met that success criteria of creating vivid imagery and being really emotion led.

What I'd like you to do now as a form of feedback is share your selected quotations and annotations with somebody else.

And I'd like you to make sure that as you are sharing, you are explaining really clearly which words contribute to creating vivid imagery, which language methods were helping to create vivid imagery, and which words were making you feel a really particular emotion and being really clear about which emotion you were feeling at that moment.

So what I'm going to invite to do now is share your selected quotations and justify your choice using the bullet points below.

So pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic work, and it was great to see so many of you really asking each other questions about, well, what did you feel when you read this though? Oh, that's interesting.

I felt this, because this.

So it was great to see some of those really respectful kind of debates going on as well.

So fantastic work because debate is the essence of a great discussion.

Really well done and let's move on to the second part of our lesson.

So now we're going to have a look at another way that you can bring description into your functional writing, and that's through the use of figurative language.

So here are two ways of saying the same thing.

A, graffiti is everywhere these days, there is graffiti on every available clean surface.

And here's the second way, B, a plague of graffiti has spread through the nation, infecting every clean surface.

And what I'd like you to do now is discuss, well, which of the following do you think makes the issue of graffiti sound a lot more serious and why? So again, if you're working independently, you can jot some ideas down.

If you are able to work in groups, it would be great for you to discuss this and hear other people's ideas too.

So pause the video while you hopefully discuss that or just consider it independently.

Off you go.

Fantastic discussions, really well done.

And again, most people in agreement that actually sentence B made the issue sound much more serious.

And as Jun points out, "Here, sentence B makes the graffiti sound like a more concerning and serious issue because it uses a semantic field of sickness to create a metaphor that likens graffiti to a contagious disease." Now if you remember, we've got two keywords from today's lesson here.

We've got semantic field, which is a group of words that all share similar meaning, and we've also got that word contagious, which means really easily spread.

So here graffiti is been likened to a disease that is spread across the nation very easily.

So what I'd like you to think now is, well, which words make up that semantic field of illness? So which words all kind of share a similar meaning of illness or kind of sickness in some way.

So I'd like you to pause the video while you pick out specific words that contribute to that semantic field.

Again, this can be done independently or it can be done in groups, it's up to you.

Pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic work and really well done because lots of people were picking out this word plague, which obviously we know has real connotations of kind of pandemics and epidemics.

And also this word spread.

Again, if something spreads is very contagious like a disease, and this word infecting, okay? And that verb infecting is a verb that we use specifically to describe disease, okay? So well done if you manage to identify those words as the ones that contribute to the semantic field of disease.

So comparing something negative that is widespread or is a widespread issue to an illness or some kind of predator perhaps, is a really good way to spur your reader to action.

Because what you are doing is you're kind of creating an imagined threat here.

So you're kind of saying that if the reader doesn't act or if they don't adopt your viewpoint, this situation is just going to spread even more far and wide than it already has.

So what I'd like you to discuss now is, well, how could you use figurative language to show how positive something could be? So for example, if you were presenting somebody with a solution to a problem, what kind of comparisons might you draw to illustrate to them how positive this could be as a solution? So I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you have a consideration of what you could compare to a solution to a problem, to paint it in a very positive light.

I'm really excited to see what you come up with for this.

So pause the video and off you go.

Fantastic work and some really great suggestions there.

And here's the idea that I heard that I liked the best.

So "You could compare your solution to a cure or some kind of miracle and that would help you to show how impactful your solution could be." So thank you to Lucas and thank you to other people who also got the same idea because I thought this was a brilliant suggestion.

So let's check for understanding, which of the following comparisons could you make to wearing school uniform, if you were going to argue that wearing school uniform should be abolished or banned? Would you make the comparison of A, that it's like wearing bandages to protect you from harm and cruelty? Might you say B, it's like wearing a straight jacket that stifles your identity and restricts your creative expression.

Or might you liken it to see and say that it's like a disease that has spread through the nation and has infected schools everywhere.

I'm gonna invite you now to pause the video while you decide which you think the best use of figurative language would be in this context here.

So pause the video and off you go to choose one of the answer options.

And congratulations if you chose B, this use of figurative language here would be fantastic because actually a straight jacket is a type of clothing, much like school uniform.

And according to this person, much like school uniform, a straight jacket restricts a person's freedom and identity in itself expression.

So there are similarities there between a school uniform and a straight jacket according to this person that would make this a really good use of figurative language.

Now I'd like you to discuss in a little bit more detail, we've already said in the lesson today that often you can compare something negative to a disease, but why wouldn't that work in this case here? So why wouldn't comparing school uniform to being like a disease that spread through the nation work as well? So I'm going to invite you now to pause the video while you consider that question with the people around you or just think about it independently if you would prefer.

Off you go.

Brilliant work and let's come back together.

Thank you very much for those contributions.

Some really valid suggestions there and lots of people saying that actually it wouldn't work because school uniform is not something physical that can spread.

You know, it's not like an illness, it's not something that physically or geographically can spread, okay, something that you wear and therefore the comparison to the straight jacket, which is also something that you wear, would be much more effective in this instance.

So a really well done if you managed to recognise that.

So onto our last task of the lesson, and I'm so excited for you to have a go at this task.

Let's imagine that your solution to the problem of graffiti is to instal more CCTV cameras across the nation to catch perpetrators in the act and help with prosecution.

You are going to use figurative language to compare the installation of CCTV cameras to a cure for an illness.

So here is the beginning of our response that you are going to add to.

A plague of graffiti has spread through the nation, infecting every clean surface, there is only one solution; increased CCTV.

Now I'd like you to complete the paragraph by using a semantic field, so a group of words that all share same meaning, to describe your solution as a cure for the disease of graffiti.

So what I've done here is I've given you a word bank with some words in that could contribute to a semantic field of cure or you know, miracle.

So these words are words that you can take to continue that metaphor, but flip it so that you can kind of make out that CCTV cameras with the ideal cure to heal the country of the disease that is graffiti.

So those words are there for you to use and I want to see some of them in your work 'cause these will really help you to extend that metaphor and present your solution as a real like miraculous cure.

So just to summarise what you are doing, you are using figurative language to present your solution to the problem of graffiti, which is to instal more CCTV cameras as some kind of cure for an illness.

And you are extending the paragraph that you've been given here that says a plague of graffiti, et cetera, to create this imagery that you are presenting the country with a cure for the disease of graffiti using the words from the word bank.

So what I'm going to invite you to do now is pause a video while you have a go at undertaking that task.

I am so excited to see how you build those semantic fields and how you use those extended metaphors.

So pause the video while you go off to complete that task now.

Wow, I am so impressed with your work and it's great to see how many of you have really understood what effective figurative language within persuasive writing really looks like.

I'm really, really impressed with your work.

Now here's a suggestion of what you could have written, okay? So if you didn't get this, don't worry because I'm sure you got something equally as fantastic.

And if you struggled with this task, then do not worry because this was really difficult.

And hopefully the model answer that I'm going to show you gives you some ideas for next time.

A plague of graffiti has spread through the nation, infecting every clean surface.

There is only one solution; increased CCTV.

Installing additional CCTV would help us to diagnose exactly where the issue is most prevalent.

Leading to increased protection of vulnerable sites in these areas.

Without increased CCTV surveillance, we cannot hope to sanitise our surfaces and keep them clean of graffiti and vandalism.

We must restore our social spaces to full health and wash our hands of this antisocial epidemic forever.

So there's an example of something you might have written and what I'd like you to discuss now is, well, I'd like you to identify which words in this description make up the semantic field of restoration and healing as if from a physical disease.

So I'd like you to identify specific words that contribute to that semantic field of cure.

Pause the video while you have a go at that now.

Well done and it's great to see so many of you identifying these words here highlighted in green.

Words like diagnose, which we know, you know, we use in a medical sense.

Vulnerable sites, again has a medical connotations, sanitise, clean, restore, health and wash all have connotations of kind of cleanliness and hygiene.

And that weird epidemic obviously has connotations of disease and illness that we are hoping to cure here.

Okay, and and graffiti here is described as an antisocial epidemic that we need to cure, okay? And those words that this writer has chosen really contribute to that semantic field of restoration and healing as if from a physical disease.

So a really well done there and I really hope you can see how you can start to use figurative language to really elevate your functional writing and create really vivid imagery for your reader that spurs them to act.

So really well done in that task, I'm really impressed with your contributions.

So to summarise the learning from today, well first of all, functional writing that makes use of description is often stronger.

Now, anecdotes are brilliant for connecting to the reader through creating that shared experience.

But before writing an anecdote, it's really important for you to consider what you want your reader to feel and choose your language accordingly.

We know that a successful anecdote makes use of language to create vivid imagery for the reader so that they can share the experience with you.

And finally, as we've seen, figurative language can be a brilliant way to add description into your functional writing as well through using things like the a semantic field.

Thank you so much for coming to today's lesson.

I've been absolutely blown away by your creativity and your insightfulness throughout today's lesson.

I'm really looking forward to seeing in due course how descriptive writing can really level up your functional writing.

So really well done for today.

Thank you so much for coming and I hope you have a lovely rest of your day.

See you later.