Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to a lesson on developing our comparative responses.

I'm Miss Sutherland and I'll be teaching you today.

Our learning outcome for today is to be able to develop our comparative essay writing skills.

In this lesson, we'll continue to compare poems from the power and conflict anthology and we'll look at how to create a really strong comparative response.

Here are our three key terms today.

They are discourse marker.

A discourse marker is a word or phrase whose job it is to organise writing or spoken language into segments.

Imperative.

An imperative is an authoritative command.

We see in Ozymandias, his pedestal includes an imperative.

"Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!" And our final keyword is superlative.

Superlative is the highest attainable level of something.

So when we use the superlative, we're showing the highest attainable level of something, so it might be biggest, smallest, best.

All of these words show that whatever that thing is we're describing is the highest attainable level of something.

Pause video and make a note of those keywords now.

Excellent.

In today's lesson, we'll first look at comparative writing skills.

We'll look at ways to make our responses more successful, and we'll look at how to go from a plan to a paragraph.

In the second learning cycle, we'll evaluate some comparative paragraphs and we'll look at and we'll decide which ones are more successful and why.

So let's start with looking at our comparative writing skills.

Laura was tasked with the following question.

Compare how poets present ideas about the power of nature in Ozymandias and one other poem from the anthology.

Here is one idea that Laura had.

She said Both Shelley and Wordsworth expose man's naive belief that they are more powerful than nature.

She used the following supporting evidence.

"Look on my works" exposes Ozymandias' naivety in thinking he could immortalise his power and the imperative ridicules his certainty.

Supporting evidence number two, the "horizon's utmost boundary" from "Extract from The Prelude," that quote there shows how young Wordsworth underestimated nature.

And lastly, both poems explore how being self-absorbed can fuel ignorance.

So we see that in words with selfish, act of stealth, and his conceited comment that he could row in an unswerving line.

We also see that when Ozymandias inscribes on the pedestal that he is king of kings.

All these things fuel humans being ignorant to the power of nature.

The closing sentence Laura came up with was both poets seem to mock mankind's ignorance to nature's power.

A great response from Laura, but now Laura needs to use her single paragraph outline to produce a written response.

Let's see if we can help her achieve this.

Using sentence stems can help you convert your ideas from a plan to a written response.

Let's look at this now.

So firstly, we can use discourse markers.

These are things we can rely on every time to signpost our argument.

Discourse markers are words such as initially, furthermore, consequently, thus, and in conclusion.

We can also use comparative conjunctions to show that we're comparing.

Likewise, on the other hand, contrastingly, however, whereas, and similarly.

We can also use correlative conjunctions to show our comparison like both an and, neither and nor, either or or, and whether or or.

Remember correlative conjunctions come in pairs.

We could also use these sentence starters to help signpost our inference and analysis.

Remember that's the most important section of the essay.

So any phrases or words that you can keep in a bank to refer to over and over again are really going to help you remember to analyse and infer.

Let's get some examples then.

This suggest, implies, or emphasises the use of X reveals or demonstrates, and the writer effectively conveys.

So here we have four tools that you can use in your comparative essays to help convert your plans into a written response.

So with the help of those sentence stems, Laura managed to convert her ideas into a comparative response.

Let's read it out loud.

Both Shelley and Wordsworth expose man's naive belief that they are more powerful than nature.

In Ozymandias, Shelley mocks Ozymandias' belief that he could immortalise his power.

The statue's pedestal commands the reader to look on my works.

The use of imperative here shows how Ozymandias assumed his work would be remembered for centuries to come.

Thus, Ozymandias was ignorant of nature's ability to outlast and erode all traces of his power.

Similarly, in "Extract from The Prelude," young Wordsworth seeks to assert his dominance over nature as he describes taking the boat as an act of stealth.

The noun stealth reflects mankind's audacity to transgress their position.

This foreshadows Wordsworth's naive complacency went out on the lake.

He describes the craggy ridge as the horizon's utmost boundary.

The superlative utmost exposes his misplaced confidence in comprehending nature.

Like Ozymandias, he is completely ignorant of the true power and extent of the mighty natural world that does not live like living men.

Well done, Laura.

Let's unpick her comparative response to explore how it is successful.

Firstly, she uses corelative conjunctions to show that she's comparing.

Using corelative conjunctions is a great way to start your main body paragraphs because it shows that you are going to begin exploring a similarity.

She then uses some sentence starters to help her signpost her inference and analysis.

So she uses the use of X shows.

She uses discourse markers to then signpost that she's going to conclude her argument.

She uses the word thus.

Now, can you unpick Laura's response? When Laura says similarly, what is being used here and why? Pause video and have a think.

Similarly is a comparative conjunction which allows Laura to signpost her comparison again.

What is being done here where Laura says the noun stealth reflects, this foreshadows, and the superlative utmost exposes? Pause video and have a think now.

Here, Laura is signposting her inference and analysis.

And why is the word like used here? Pause video and have a think.

The word like here again shows the reader that Laura is about to make yet another comparison.

So Laura effectively weaves in a lot of comparative conjunctions and that allows her response to be firmly tied to the question because remember the question is asking you to compare.

If you don't use this terminology, the reader will not necessarily be aware that you are comparing throughout your response.

Now let's check your understanding.

Which set of sentence stems are missing from the grid? Pause the video and have a think.

The correlative conjunctions were missing from the grid.

Remember, correlative conjunctions come in pairs.

And an amazing way to begin your main body paragraph is to use correlative conjunctions in your opening sentence.

Now let's check your understanding further.

I want you to match the sentence stem with the purpose.

What is the purpose of saying furthermore? What's the purpose of both an and and what's the purpose of saying the use of reflects? Pause the video and check your understanding now.

The word furthermore is used as a discourse marker to signpost our argument.

So the word furthermore shows that we're going to add to our argument.

Both an and, those are correlative conjunctions to show we are making a comparison.

And the use of reflects is a sentence stem that you can use to signpost your inference and analysis.

It shows you are interrogating the writer's method.

Well done.

I now want you to write a comparative paragraph using this single paragraph outline so you've got all the ideas that you need and they're in note form.

You now have to convert it into a full written paragraph.

Remember to use some of those really useful sentence stems to help you successfully complete this paragraph.

Pause the video and get writing.

Great effort there, everyone.

I now want you to self-assess your own writing and check for the following.

Do you have a comparative topic sentence that uses conjunctions? Have you used discourse markers throughout to signpost your argument? Do you have textual detail analysed using effective sentence stems throughout your response? And does your response end with a closing sentence that concludes your response? Pause video and self-assess your work now.

Brilliant work.

You've done so well completing that plan into a written response.

Let's look at evaluating some comparative paragraphs now.

So now you've written your own comparative paragraphs.

Perhaps you could help some of our Oak students evaluate their own.

Here are the beginnings of two comparative paragraphs.

I want you to think about which student's approach to comparative response is more effective.

So this is Sam's response.

In Ozymandias, Shelley reveals the vast power of nature through its destructive abilities.

Ozymandias' statue is shattered, sunk, trunkless, nothing but a colossal wreck.

Shelley uses the semantic field of decay to show how nature has the power to erode all traces of mankind, regardless of the power they had whilst living.

In Extract from The Prelude," Wordsworth shows how nature destroys mankind's pride.

Let's move on to look at Jacob's comparative response.

Both "Ozymandias" and "Extract from The Prelude" revealed the vast power of nature through its ability to transform.

Shelley shows how the boundless sands transform the memory of Ozymandias from feared and powerful tyrant to a pitiful wreck.

The semantic field of decay, in trunkless, shattered, and sunk, shows how man's arrogance will face nature's inevitable wrath.

However, Wordsworth reveals nature as a catalyst for spiritual growth.

Pause the video and have a little think about which student you think has been more successful.

Off you go.

Let's really delve into those answers so we can competently say who is more successful and why.

So here are both the students' topic sentences.

Sam says, "In 'Ozymandias', Shelley reveals the vast power of nature through its destructive abilities." And Jacob says, "Both 'Ozymandias' and 'Extract from The Prelude' reveal the vast power of nature through its ability to transform." When writing a comparative response, you must signpost that you are comparing two poems. Jacob's topic sentence uses correlative conjunctions to signpost a comparison.

Remember, the topic sentence is the first thing that the reader will experience from your main body paragraph.

That means you have to immediately show them that you know the question is asking you to compare.

And the way to do that is to use correlative or comparative conjunctions from the get go.

Let's look at the students' sentences that introduce the second poem.

When writing a comparative response, you must show that you are bringing in a second poem to discuss a connected idea.

Sam's sentence to introduce his second poem is, "In 'Extract from The Prelude', Wordsworth shows how nature destroys mankind's pride." Jacob's a sentence that brings in the second poem is, "However, Wordsworth reveals nature as a catalyst for spiritual growth." Jacob's sentence uses a comparative conjunction to show a nuanced difference between the poems on a certain idea, whereas Sam's sentence doesn't mention that this is a comparison or this is a similarity or difference between "Extract from The Prelude" and "Ozymandias".

Therefore, when introducing the second poem in your main body paragraph, you really ought also use comparative conjunctions.

Let's explore how Jacob continued with his response now.

So let's read.

Both "Ozymandias" and "Extract from The Prelude" reveal the vast power of nature through its ability to transform.

Shelley shows how the boundless sands transform the memory of Ozymandias from feared tyrant to a pitiful wreck.

The semantic field of decay in trunkless, shattered, and sunk shows how man's arrogance will face nature's inevitable wrath and be transformed into something unrecognisable.

However, Wordsworth reveals nature as a catalyst for spiritual growth.

His sublime experience with nature causes him to reflect for many days in solitude and assertion.

The abstract nouns reflect how Wordsworth was met with harsh, uncomfortable, and seemingly incomprehensible truths about his existence due to realising nature's transcendental quality.

This causes a spiritual transformation in which he realises man's inferiority to nature.

Ultimately, the boundless and bare sands that mock mankind's pride in "Ozymandias" are the same huge and mighty forms that Wordsworth describes as humbling his younger self.

Thus, nature in both poems is shown to transform the human ego and reshape how we view our human identity.

That is a really great effort from Jacob there.

Let's see exactly what Jacob continues to do throughout his response that makes it successful.

So here, Jacob has highlighted the quote boundless and bare from "Ozymandias" and huge and mighty from "Extract from The Prelude." Notice how Jacob linked quotes from both poems within his paragraph.

This is another clever way to signpost your comparison and look at nuanced similarities and differences.

Ultimately, when writing a comparative response, you should avoid writing everything you know about one poem and then everything you know about the other poem in another paragraph, because this doesn't evidence that you're actively comparing throughout your response.

Weave ideas about both poems throughout each paragraph like Jacob does.

Let's check your understanding of what we've just discussed then.

When writing a comparative response, you should.

Pause video and have a think now.

When writing a comparative response, you should weave ideas about both poems into your paragraphs like Jacob does when he compares the quotes balance and bare to huge and mighty.

When writing about your second poem, it is useful to.

Pause the video and complete that sentence.

When writing about your second poem, it is useful to introduce it with a comparative connective to indicate a similarity or difference between the first and second.

Remember, you don't just want to go from one poem to the other without signposting any sorts of comparison because the reader then doesn't know exactly how you've chosen to compare.

In fact, there's no evidence of your comparison at all without the use of comparative connectives and conjunctions.

Now, I want you to write a comparative response to the question.

Compare how poets present ideas about power in "Ozymandias" and one other poem from the anthology.

Remember to include the following in your response: a comparative topic sentence that leads with big ideas, discourse markers that signpost your argument, discourse markers that signpost your analysis, correlative and comparative conjunctions to signpost your comparisons, comparison of form and structure and comparison of language.

Pause the video now and get writing.

Off you go.

Great effort, everyone.

I now want you to self-assess your work, self-assess your work to see if you've included the following: a comparative topic sentence that leads with big ideas, discourse markers that signposts your argument, discourse markers to signpost your analysis, correlative and comparative conjunctions to signpost your comparisons, comparison of form/structure, and comparison of language.

Pause the video now and self-assess your work.

Work out what you've done well and what you can improve on for next time.

Off you go, Really an effort being so reflective and so keen to improve your work.

With that attitude, you'll be able to improve your written response every time and get better and better with your comparative responses.

Here's what we've learned today.

Topic sentences must be comparative when comparing texts.

Comparisons should be made between ideas, intentions, themes, and messages.

Correlative and comparative conjunctions are a good way to signpost your comparative writing.

Within paragraphs, evidence can move back and forth between two poems and be linked with connectives.

Drawing a direct comparison of quotation should take place at least once across the essay.

I hope you've learned a lot about how to develop your comparative essay writing skills today.

I really enjoyed learning with you, and I hope to see you again soon.