Lesson video

Hi everyone, and welcome to our lesson today.

My name is Ms. Mullins.

I'm so impressed with all of the learning we've been doing so far throughout this unit.

Today we've got an editing lesson, which is a little bit different to our usual lessons, so I'm really looking forward to seeing how we get on.

In your lesson today you will be editing a section of your non-chronological report.

Here are some key words we're going to be using.

Editing, grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary.

Well done.

Editing is the process of improving writing to improve text flow and overall quality.

Grammar refers to the set of rules that govern a language.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in writing language to structure sentences.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning.

Vocabulary refers to the language choices made by the writer.

In our lesson today, we are going to be editing the diet section of our non-chronological report about tigers.

Our lesson has been split into three parts.

Firstly, we're going to be editing punctuation, then we're going to edit sentence structure, and, finally, we will edit vocabulary and spelling.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing, to ensure text flow and overall quality.

When you edit you decide what you will change and what you will keep the same.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

I know that sometimes coming back to edit a piece of writing and make changes to it can seem a little bit daunting, especially when you've put so much thought into the planning process and the writing process, but every single author has to edit their work to make it the best that it can be, and editing is just another part of the writing process.

Editing does not mean rewriting everything again, it is about being selective with what you want to improve.

That's why we've structured our lesson so that we will just focus on punctuation, then we will just focus on sentence structure, and then just focus on spelling and vocabulary.

The job of an editor is to do all of these things.

Firstly, you check for mistakes in punctuation, then make improvements to sentence structure, and finally make improvements in your language choices.

In this lesson we are going to be editors.

Editing is the process of.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that editing is the process of making improvements in language choices and making improvements to sentence structure.

It is not about rewriting the whole text and it is also not about only correcting mistakes, because if your work hasn't got any punctuation or sentence structure or spelling or vocabulary mistakes in it, you can always be thinking about how you could add more in or make things even better.

When we edit punctuation we check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas and apostrophes.

These are all elements of punctuation we've been focusing on quite a lot through this unit.

There's some punctuation mistakes in my sentence.

Let's start by reading it together.

These felines, which prey on lots of other animals, eat a varied diet.

Now, if you'd like to, you could pause this video and correct my sentence yourself.

I'm going to have a go at editing it now.

Now the first thing I can spot is that my sentence is missing a capital letter.

I need a capital letter to start a sentence, so I need a capital T for these.

I also need to finish my sentence with a full stop.

Now I do need some commas in here, I wonder whether you can tell me what the function of these commas are.

Let's add them in.

Well done, if you've spotted that I needed a pair of commas around my relative clause.

And finally I've got an apostrophe in this sentence in the word animals.

Now apostrophes have got two functions, first function might be that they're for contracted words in which it would be animal is.

Let's try that in this sentence.

These felines, which prey on lots of other animal is, eat a varied diet.

Does that make sense? No.

So it's definitely not an apostrophe for contraction.

The other function of apostrophe is an apostrophe for possession, where the animals own something in this sentence.

Now let's reread this sentence again.

These felines, which prey on lots of other animals', eat a varied diet.

Do the animals own anything here? No, they do not.

This is a really common mistake.

Sometimes people (mumbles) a word that ends in an S and they add in an apostrophe because they assume that if the word ends in an S, it must have an apostrophe with it.

But we know from our discussion just now, the word animals in this sentence does not require an apostrophe because it's not a contraction and it is not possessing anything, so actually we need to take that apostrophe out.

Sometimes when we're editing punctuation we're thinking about what punctuation we've forgotten to use and we need to add it in, but other times we're reviewing our use of punctuation and just making sure that we actually needed to use it (clears throat) or have we added in by accident.

Correct the punctuation mistakes in this sentence.

Let's read the sentence together.

Tigers' diets, which are carnivorous consist of deer, fish, boar, and birds.

Pause the video now while you correct the punctuation mistakes in this sentence.

Well done, if you spotted these mistakes.

So we needed a capital T to start the sentence with tigers, the diets belong to the tigers so it should be tigers' apostrophe to show that plural possession.

Which are carnivorous, now in my initial sentence I remembered the first comma before my relative clause, but I forgot that second comma, which goes after the relative clause.

Remember, there needs to be a pair of commas around the relative clause to separate it from the main clause.

They consist of dear, fish, boar and birds, so we needed those commas to separate those nouns in the list and, finally, we needed a full stop for the end of the sentence.

Great work, everyone.

Now let's talk a little bit more about commas, they have got several functions.

Let's read this sentence with the commas in and we'll do the comma action and say the word comma as we do it.

Notably, tigers' diets, which are carnivorous, consist of deer, fish, boar and birds.

Now let's just count those commas, one, two, three, four, five.

There are five commas in one sentence, that is a lot of commas but they have different functions.

Now my first comma after the word notably, now there's a viewpoint fronted adverbial, my first comma is the comma after the fronted adverbial.

Then we've got ", which are carnivorous," what's the function of those commas again? Well done, if you remembered these two commas separate the relative clause from the main clause.

And then finally we've got these two commas here, deer, fish, boar and birds, this is a list of the food that the tigers eat so these commas separate common nouns in a list.

We only use a comma when we know the rule, so if you think you're just adding in a comma for the sake of it and you're not really sure why you are using it, think again about whether you actually need a comma.

When are commas used? Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted that commas are used to separate a subordinate clause from a main clause after a fronted adverbial, and to separate items in a list.

When you pause in a sentence it's not a rule specifically for commas, that could be for lots of different punctuation types, so we don't use that as a comma rule.

Now you're going to edit the punctuation in the diet section of your non-chronological report.

When we are editing we should check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, commas, and apostrophes.

Now it's time for your task.

Either you can edit the punctuation in your diet section or you could edit my diet section, just focusing on the punctuation.

Let's just remind ourselves of our criteria, so make sure you check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, missing or incorrectly used full stops, missing or incorrectly used commas, and missing or incorrectly used apostrophes.

Pause the video while you do that.

Great work everyone, well done.

Here are some of the edits in my writing.

So I was missing the comma after the word, so I was missing, sorry, the pair of commas around the which relative clause, which are carnivorous.

I was also missing one of my commas in a list after the word fish.

I'd forgotten to start my third sentence with a capital, so I needed to change due to having a capital D.

I also forgot a comma after my viewpoint fronted adverbial, fascinatingly, and the adaptations belong to the tigers' so I needed an apostrophe for plural possession and tigers.

Thank you so much for your help with that.

(mouse clicks) Now we're onto the second part of our lesson where we're editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

When we are editing we should check for missing words that our writing makes sense and that our writing is cohesive.

True or false? Text cohesion refers to the flow of a text.

It helps to keep the reader engaged and achieve the text's purpose.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done, if you spotted that this is true.

Now I've got two possible justifications here for how to justify your answer.

Pause the video again while you decide how to correctly justify this answer.

Great work, if you spotted that the correct justification is B, we achieve text cohesion through using fronted adverbials, subject specific vocabulary, and relative complex sentences.

(mouse clicks) When editing sentence structure we check all of these for missing words, that our writing makes sense, and that our writing is cohesive.

Here's an example of my introduction for my report about tigers.

Let's read it through together now.

"Introduction.

Tigers nocturnal, distinctive looking mammals that belong to the felidae family.

These highly adapted felines are most commonly found in India, Asia.

They are deadly apex predators that can reach running speeds of up to 65 kilometres per hour.

Throughout this report, you will learn further detail these cat's fascinating adaptations, diet and habitat." Now, in this example, my punctuation is all good and so is my vocabulary, but you might have heard that there were a few things that didn't sound quite right.

So we had a missing word after the word tigers and another missing word after the word detail, and these two sentences here, they don't have much cohesion between the pair, even though they are both about the tigers, so we could link them together maybe in a more cohesive way so our writing flows a little bit more.

Here I've made some really simple edits.

"Tigers are nocturnal, distinctive looking mammals that belong to the felidae family.

These highly adapted felines are most commonly found in India, Asia and, building on another point, they are deadly apex predators that can reach running speeds of up to 65 kilometres per hour.

Throughout this report, you will learn further detail about these cats' fascinating adaptations, diet and habitat." Now my writing is so much more cohesive and it makes much more sense now that I've added in my missing words.

(mouse clicks) Which fronted adverbial could I add to the start of the second sentence to improve cohesion? Let's read these two sentences together.

Tigers build dens in the rainforests' trees.

They eat food primarily found near these trees.

Pause the video while you decide which fronted adverbial would be the most suitable to add to the start of the second sentence.

Well done, if you spotted that as a result is the most appropriate, because it shows that link between cause and effect so as a result is a great way to link those two together.

Let's read it through together now.

Tigers build dens in the rainforests' trees.

As a result, they eat food primarily found near these trees.

Using that fronted adverbial of cause, as a result, really explicitly makes that link for my reader between where the tigers choose to build their dens and where they choose to hunt.

Now you're going to edit the sentence structure in the diet section of your non-chronological report.

When we're editing, remember we check for missing words, that our writing makes sense, and that our writing is cohesive.

Now it's your turn to edit the sentence structure of your diet section, or you can edit mine.

Remember to use the checklist to help you, and pause the video while you do that.

(car engine humming) Well done everyone, if you chose to edit my writing, you'll have spotted that the word are, in which are carnivorous, was missing, so you added that in.

Also, editing that sentence structure for making that link between the fact that the felines are nocturnal, and as a result of that they hunt at nighttime.

Rather than having those as two separate unrelated sentences, I changed the sentence structure this time to add in a fronted adverbial of cause.

So due to the fact that these felines are nocturnal, they usually feed at nighttime.

I then went in with a formal, sorry, with a viewpoint fronted adverbial to add bit more cohesion and flow for, fascinatingly, tigers' adaptations enable them to hunt and consume their prey.

And then finally, in that final sentence you might have noticed I accidentally wrote the same word twice.

That's really common, when we're focusing so hard on loads of other things in our writing, sometimes we accidentally miss out words or write words two or three times even.

So these adaptations are therefore vital to these cats' survival.

Thank you so much for your help.

(mouse clicks) And now this brings us onto the final section of our lesson where we're editing vocabulary and spelling.

When we edit vocabulary and spelling, we check for all of these.

A variety of words and phrases to describe the subject, appropriate tone, spelling accuracy, appropriate relative pronouns.

Let's read this sentence or this pair of sentences together.

Tigers are amazing creatures that live in Asia.

Tigers, who live in rainforests, grasslands, savannahs and mangrove swamps, build their dens in trees.

Now, remember, in this section we are just focusing on vocabulary choice and spelling.

So thinking about this sentence, maybe you'll be able to spot a few potential edits already.

If you would like to spend more time on this, you could pause the video now.

If not, you can edit along with me.

So the first vocabulary choice I don't think is particularly appropriate is the word amazing, it's too informal.

Up next, my two sentences both begin with the word tigers, and we know that to keep our reader engaged we want to vary our vocabulary choices, it's a bit repetitive.

Also, I've used the word who for my relative clause about the tigers, and we already know, don't we, that the only time we would use who as a relative pronoun is if we're talking about a person.

Tigers are not people, so we should be using the word which instead.

And, finally, a spelling mistake.

Now this is a homophone, there should be the possessive their but this there that is on the screen right now is there as in over there, a locational word instead.

This is a very common mistake.

(mouse clicks) Now I've made a few edits and hopefully you'll notice that my writing has really become much more formal and more cohesive, and a bit more engaging, because I varied my language choice.

So let's read my edited version.

Tigers are fascinating creatures that live in Asia.

These felines, which live in rainforest, grasslands, savannas and mangrove swamps, build their dens in trees.

True or false? The tone of a non-chronological report should be formal.

Pause the video while you decide.

Well done if you spotted this is true, they should definitely be formal.

Now pause the video again while you decide how to justify your answer.

Well done if you spotted that the correct justification is A.

Non-chronological reports should be formal, they should use formal fronted adverbials and subject specific vocabulary, which makes their tone formal.

Correct the vocabulary and spelling mistakes in these sentences.

Let's read them together.

Tigers, who are nocturnal, hunt at night even though it is dark.

Tigers eat deer, which are found in forests, and wild boar.

These cute animals have a varied diet." So remember, when you're editing you're focusing on language choice, formal tone, relative pronouns and spelling.

Pause the video now while you do that.

Well done if you spotted that we needed to replace that who relative pronoun with which, because we're writing about tigers.

Also, tigers being the first word of each sentence was quite repetitive so I've replaced it with these carnivores, or you might refer to them as these felines or these mammals.

I chose these carnivores because the word carnivores says that they're meat eating animals, and I'm about to explain more food that they eat.

So these carnivores eat deer, which, again that spelling of which, it was missing the H in it, and wild boar.

These intriguing, cute is too informal, but intriguing is a much more formal word, animals have a varied diet.

Now, the varied spelling, I had init initially thought that the air sound in varied was spelled with that trigraph, air, but actually we know that it's not, it's V-A-R-I-E-D.

Thank you for your help with that.

Now you are going to edit the vocabulary and spelling in the diet section of your non-chronological report.

When editing vocabulary and spelling, check for a variety of words and phrases to describe the subject, so keeping that language variation so that your reader remains engaged, appropriate formal tone, spelling accuracy, and appropriate relative pronouns.

Now it's time for you to edit the vocabulary and spelling of your diet section, or you can edit mine.

Use the checklist to help you.

Pause the video now while you do that.

Great work, everyone.

If you edited my writing, you might've spotted that fascinating was missing the C, so it needed a spelling correction.

Also, the word carnivores, I had spelled the oar sound in carnivores with the oa digraph, when actually the or sound in carnivores is that O split E split digraph.

Again, making my variation in language choices, rather than starting my sentence with tigers, just like I did in my first sentence, I've just changed it to the pronoun they.

These felines, which rather than who in our relative clause, and again that homophone there caught me out again so I've changed it to the possessive spelling of their, and finally the word nocturnal.

Lots of people might think the ER sound in nocturnal is er or even ir, but actually the spelling in nocturnal is ur.

Thank you so much for your help with that.

(mouse clicks) And now that brings us on to the end of our lesson.

So today we've been editing the diet section of a non-chronological report about tigers.

Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Editing involves making improvements to a piece of writing without completely rewriting it.

Editing is a vital part of the writing process.

I hope you come away from our lesson today feeling really positive about the edits you've made, and how you've improved your writing even more.

Well done everyone.