Lesson video

Hi, I'm Ms. Chu, and we have got a very exciting English lesson lined up for you today.

So, when you are ready, we may begin.

Today's learning outcome is I can edit the introduction and first section of a non-chronological report.

Here are the key words.

I'm going to say them, and then you have a go at saying them.

Editing, punctuation, sentence structure, and finally, language.

Good job.

What is editing? Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning.

And finally, written language is the use of specific words and phrases to convey meaning.

In this lesson, there are three parts.

The first part of the lesson is editing punctuation, and then we're going to edit sentence structure.

And finally, we will look at editing language.

So, let's start with the first part, which is editing punctuation.

Editing is the process of making changes.

Could be small, could be big, to improve writing, to ensure text flow and overall quality, so that it's the best writing that it can be.

When you edit, you decide what you will change and what you will keep the same.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

Editing doesn't mean rewriting everything again.

It's about being really selective with what you want to improve.

The job of an editor is to check for mistakes and punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, make improvements in language choices.

And in this lesson, you and I are going to be editors.

Let's do a quick check for understanding.

What is editing? Editing is the process of, A, rewriting a whole piece of text, making improvements to language choices, making improvements to sentence structure, or, D, the final one, only correcting handwriting.

Hmm.

Pause the video, because there might be two ones that are correct in there.

Okay.

Shall we have a look to see what the answers are? So, I said that, B, editing is the process of making improvements to language choices.

And was there another one? I said C.

Making improvements to sentence structure as well.

It's not about rewriting the whole text, and it is not just about correcting handwriting.

When we edit punctuation, we check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas.

There are missing capital letters in this sentence, because I think I was really tired when I wrote this.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

Mm.

Well, I can see already that I'm missing the capital letter at the beginning of my sentence.

Every sentence, every new sentence needs a capital letter.

I'm also missing capital letters for Ancient Greeks, because that is the name of a group of people.

It's a proper noun.

So, I need to change that.

And have I got anything else missing here? Capital letters-wise? No.

So, there it is.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

And just to really look closely again, the capital letter needs to be at the beginning of a sentence, and my capital letters are needed for proper nouns.

What are two uses of capital letters? Are they used at the beginning of sentences? Are they used at the end of sentences? They are used to begin proper nouns.

They are used to begin all nouns.

Hmm.

Pause the video and have a think about what the two uses of capital letters are.

Okay, let's have a look.

So, capital letters are used at the beginning of sentences.

They are also used to begin proper nouns.

Well done.

When we edit punctuation, we check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas.

Hmm.

Now, again, there are missing full stops in this sentence, because I think I was tired, still tired.

This period in history started around 1200 BCE.

It ended approximately around 600 CE.

Do you think you can spot where my full stops are missing? Yes.

There's one there after 1200 BCE.

And is there another one? Yes, it's there.

And I need to make sure, can you see that I've crossed out my lowercase I for it and I've changed it to a capital letter, because I know that after a full stop, I need to begin my sentence with a capital letter.

Let's look at it closely.

There's my full stop at the end of a sentence.

There's my capital letter, the beginning of a new sentence, and then another full stop at the end of that second sentence.

Quick, true or false.

Full stops are used at the beginning of a sentence.

Hmm.

Is this true or is this false? Pause the video and have a really quick think.

The answer is in three, two, one.

It is false.

That's right.

Because we know that the main purpose of a full stop is to mark the end of a sentence.

Capital letters are used at the beginning of a sentence, not full stops.

When we edit punctuation, we check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas.

There are missing commas in this sentence.

Wonder if you can spot them.

Significantly, the Ancient Greeks made a huge contribution to various fields such as philosophy, science, mathematics, art, and literature.

Hmm.

Well, I can see that I need a comma after my viewpoint fronted adverbial.

I'm also missing commas in my list.

So, I need one after philosophy, science, and mathematics.

Do I need one after art? No, because I've got my and, and that finalises the last item in the list.

Let's have a look at it in depth.

I've got my comma after my viewpoint fronted adverbial.

I've got my comma for items in a list.

And I think that is it.

Yes, it is.

Only use a comma when you know the rule though.

When are commas used? Tick two.

Is it, A, to mark the end of a sentence? Is it, B, to denote a direct question? Is it, C, after a fronted adverbial? Or is it, D, to separate items in a list? Pause the video and have a think about which two are correct.

Okay.

So, the answers are commas are used after a fronted adverbial, definitely.

And they are used to separate items in a list.

We are now onto task A.

You are going to edit the introduction and first section of your non-chronological report about Ancient Greeks.

So, forget about section two and the conclusion.

You're just going to focus on the first two sections.

When editing, you should check for missing or incorrectly used punctuation.

Look out for the capital letters, full stops, and commas.

Pause the video and have a go at editing the introduction and first section.

Good luck.

Okay, I need you to help me.

I'm going to read my introduction, and then I'm going to use the checklist on the right to edit my work.

And I need you to just spot if I've got any missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas.

Are you ready? Here's my introduction.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

This period in history started around 1200 BCE, and it ended in approximately 600 CE.

Significantly, the Ancient Greeks made a huge contribution to various fields such as philosophy, science, mathematics, art and literature, because they were pioneers of intellectual thought.

In this report, you will be educated about Ancient Greeks, religion and warfare.

Right.

I'm going to just start with the first bullet point.

Looking at capital letters.

Now, I can already see that I'm missing a few there.

So, I need that capital letter at the beginning of my first sentence.

I need to change my lowercase A and G two capital letters for proper nouns.

And I've got another one later on for ancient.

I've done that.

That's fabulous.

And I don't think I need anything else there that I can see.

So, I can tick that one off.

Now, I'm going to check for full stops.

Yes, I am missing one after 600 CE.

So, I need to pop one in there.

Because I've done that, I need to change the next word to have a capital letter significantly.

And then, the final full stop is the one right at the end of my introduction after warfare.

Brilliant.

Tick that one off.

And finally, let's have a look at the commas.

I am missing commas in my list.

So, I need one after philosophy, science, mathematics.

And then, I also need one after the fronted adverbial in this report.

So, I'm gonna pop one in there.

And that's me done.

Tick that one off.

Okay, let's carry on checking.

So, we've got my first section here.

What were the religious beliefs of the Ancient Greeks? And I'm going to use the checklist again to help me.

I can see that I'm missing capital letters for significantly, ancient, and Greek.

And then, my final one is Zeus.

So, I'm gonna change those.

Brilliant.

Take that off.

And then, my full stops.

I need a full stop after goddesses, 'cause that's the end of that sentence.

And then, I need one after Olympic Games, because it's the end of that sentence.

And I think I am good for full stops there, so I can tick that off.

And now, I just need to check my commas.

I need to have a comma after significantly, because it is a viewpoint fronted adverbial.

Intriguingly also needs one.

And then, I need to put a comma after gods, because I'm listing gods, heroes, and supernatural beings.

I've got two more.

One after furthermore, because it's a formal fronted adverbial.

And then, finally, my fronted adverbial, of course as a result, needs a comma after that.

Fantastic.

I can tick that one off now.

Now, we are onto the second part of the lesson, editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed.

It means the way it's put together to improve text flow.

When editing, you should reread each sentence to check that it makes sense, because sometimes it doesn't.

You've always got to check if the compound sentences are joined by an appropriate coordinating conjunction.

And you have to check that you've included a variety of sentence types to keep the reader engaged.

We don't want them to be bored.

A quick true or false.

When we edit sentence structure, we slowly and carefully read our writing back.

Is this true or is this false? Pause the video.

The answer is in three, two, one.

True.

Why is it true? We make sure there is only one sentence type in our writing, or we make changes the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

Or yes, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

We don't want only one sentence type in our writing.

Let's have a look at my sentence here.

The Ancient Greeks and ancient civilization.

This period in history started 1200 BCE.

It ended approximately 600 CE.

Hmm.

I've reread and it doesn't make sense.

So, what do I need to do? Well, I need to change.

I need to add and change some of the words.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

That makes more sense now.

This period in history started around 1200 BCE and it ended in approximately 600 CE.

So, yes.

And now, my sentences make sense.

I had a missing verb there and I was missing an adverb.

And now, I've got a compound sentence, which is joined by my coordinating conjunction, and.

So, actually, that means I can tick off the second thing in my checklist.

Have I used a variety of sentence types? Well, yes.

Now, I've got simple and a compound sentence, so I can tick that one off too.

How do you form a compound sentence? Do you remember? Do you join two main clauses with any conjunction you want? Do you join two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction? Do you join two main clauses by removing a full stop at the end? Or do you write two separate main clauses? Pause the video and have a think about how you form a compound sentence.

Okay, let's have a look at the answer.

Yes.

A compound sentence is formed by joining two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction.

Do you remember what they are? It's my and, but, and or.

We are now onto task B.

You will read your introduction and first section of your non-chronological report about Ancient Greeks.

So, the first two sections.

Ignore the last two sections for now.

When editing, you should reread each sentence to check that it makes sense.

Check that your compound sentences are joined by an appropriate coordinating conjunction.

And check that you have included a variety of sentence types.

Pause the video and give it a good go.

Well done.

I need your help now.

We are going to read my introduction and you are going to help me to see if I have edited my sentences correctly.

The Ancient Greeks, an ancient civilization.

This period in history started 1200 BCE.

It ended in approximately 600 CE.

Significantly, the Ancient Greeks made a huge contribution to various fields such as philosophy, science, mathematics, art, literature.

They were pioneers of intellectual thought.

In this report, you'll be educated Ancient Greeks' religion and warfare.

Hmm.

I have reread and doesn't make sense, so I need to insert a few words.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

That makes more sense.

This period in history started around 1200 BCE.

And then, I'm missing and literature as my last thing in my list.

And then, you will be educated about Ancient Greeks' religion and warfare.

This makes more sense.

I can tick that one off.

Now, I need to check my compound sentences, see if I've got a coordinating conjunction.

Yes.

So, I need one.

In this period in history, started around 1200 BCE, and it ended in approximately 600 CE.

I need my two main clauses to be joined there.

And then, do I need a.

And have I written a compound sentence anywhere else? No.

So, I can tick that one off.

Have I used a variety of sentence types? Yes.

I can see that my first sentence is a simple sentence.

My second sentence is a compound sentence.

We've already discussed that.

And then, my third sentence is an adverbial complex sentence.

It has the subordinating conjunction, because they were pioneers of intellectual thought.

And then, my final sentence in this report, you'll be educated about Ancient Greeks is a simple sentence.

Okay, so I can tick that one off.

I've got a few sentence types there.

Let's look at the first section of my non-chronological report.

What were the religious beliefs of the Ancient Greeks? The first thing I need to do is I need to reread and check that every sentence and each sentence makes sense.

The ancient Greek religion, a polytheistic belief system, centred around gods and goddesses.

Hmm.

I can already see that that doesn't quite make sense.

Significantly, this religion and important role in the daily lives and it influenced their worldview.

Hmm.

Also doesn't quite make sense.

Intriguingly, Greek mythology was an integral part of their religious beliefs.

They typically featured gods, heroes, supernatural beings.

Hmm.

Furthermore, they celebrated numerous religious festivals, the Olympic Games.

As a result, they showed their dedication to the god, Zeus.

Mm.

I think, yeah, I need to put in was a polytheistic belief system.

This religion played an important role.

The daily lives of the Ancient Greeks.

And then, the final thing I need to put in is festivals such as the Olympic Games.

That makes more sense.

So, I can tick that off.

And then, have I used the right coordinating conjunction to join two main clauses? Yes.

Greek mythology was an integral part of their religious beliefs, and they typically featured gods, heroes, and supernatural beings.

I need my and there in that list.

So, there's two ands.

One, the purpose of one and is to join two main clauses.

And the other and is to list the final item.

So, I can tick that off.

And then, have I used a variety of sentence types? My first sentence I can see is a simple sentence.

My second sentence is a compound sentence.

Significantly, this religion played an important role in the daily lives of the Ancient Greeks.

That's my first main clause.

And it influenced their worldview as my second main clause.

I've joined it by using an and.

I've also got a compound sentence in my third sentence.

Intriguingly, Greek mythology was an integral part of their religious beliefs is my first main clause.

And they typically featured gods, heroes, and supernatural beings is my second main clause.

And I've joined it with an and.

Brilliant.

Furthermore, they celebrated numerous festivals.

That's a simple sentence.

And then, my final one is also a simple sentence.

But I can see that I've got a variety of sentence types, so I'm happy with that.

We are now onto the third part of your lesson, editing language.

When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

Editing word choices can have a significant impact on writing by improving clarity.

That means whether it's clear or not.

The tone of your writing.

So, whether it suits the audience that's reading it.

And effectiveness.

When editing, make sure you check that language choices are ambitious to engage the reader.

We don't want them to be bored.

And we choose language that matches the text type.

So, if it's formal, then we need to choose language that is formal.

Let's do a quick true or false.

When editing language for a non-chronological report, you don't need to change any of the words and phrases.

Hmm.

Pause the video and think about whether this is true or false.

Get ready to point in three, two, one.

It is false.

Why is it false? When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

Or when we edit language, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed.

Well, if it's about language, then we need to carefully review and make changes to words and phrases, not looking at the sentence construction.

Let's just have a look at these two sentences.

We need to just check that we have used ambitious language choices to engage the reader, and we need to check that the language used accurately matches the text type.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

This period in history started around 1200 BCE, and it ended in approximately 600 CE.

The Ancient Greeks made a contribution to fields such as philosophy, science and mathematics, because they were pioneers of intellectual thought.

I think that we could possibly change some of our language, so that we can include some more ambitious language.

So, what I've done is I've added the Ancient Greeks were an ancient and profound civilization.

So, I'm giving a bit more information there.

And I've said this significant period, I'm changing the word period.

I'm putting an adjective in front of period, because I want to say that it was really significant in that period of time.

And I've crossed out Ancient Greeks and changed it to significantly, these incredible people made a huge contribution.

So, I've added some adjectives, huge and various there.

And then, I've added art and literature to give a bit more information about their contribution.

So, here are my adjectives, profound, significant, huge, and various.

And then, I've also included a viewpoint fronted adverbial, because I feel that that matches the text type.

And then, I've added my noun phrase, incredible people.

So, I have now included ambitious language choices to engage the reader.

And I have also made sure that the language used accurately matches the text type.

For task C, you will read the introduction and first section of your non-chronological report about Ancient Greeks.

When editing, you should check that language choices are ambitious to engage the reader and that they match the text type.

Pause the video and have a go at editing the language of your introduction and first section.

Good luck.

Let's look at my introduction.

Remember, these are my ideas for editing.

Yours will look different.

The Ancient Greeks were an ancient civilization.

This period of history started around 1200 BCE, and it ended in approximately 600 CE.

The Ancient Greeks made a contribution to fields such as philosophy, science, and mathematics, because they were pioneers of intellectual thought.

In this report, you will learn about Ancient Greeks' religion and warfare.

This is a good introduction, but I think we could make it better by using ambitious language choices.

So, I've added that they were an ancient and profound civilization.

And I've also changed the Ancient Greeks, because I've started in the same way twice, to these incredible people.

And I've also included a viewpoint fronted adverbial, because I feel like this matches the text type.

And I've also just added a little bit more information about their fields.

So, instead of just philosophy, science and mathematics, I said art, literature and mathematics.

And then, I've said that you.

I've crossed out you will learn, and I replaced it with you'll be educated about Ancient Greeks' religion, because I feel that it is a more formal way of saying that you will learn about Ancient Greeks' religion and warfare.

So, have I used ambitious language choices? Yes, I think I have.

I've included some adjectives.

And I've also checked that the language matches the text type, which is formal language.

Let's now look at this section.

What were the religious beliefs of the Ancient Greeks? In the same way, I'm going to try and change the language.

I want to include more ambitious language, and mine will be different and will look different from your editing.

The Ancient Greek religion was a belief system centred around gods and goddesses.

This religion played a role in the daily lives of the Ancient Greeks.

Greek mythology was a part of their religious beliefs, and they typically featured gods, heroes, and supernatural beings.

They celebrated religious festivals such as the Olympic Games.

As a result, they showed their dedication to the god, Zeus.

Again, it was a good section, but I want to make it even better.

So, I've included polytheistic belief system.

So, that means that they believed in more than one type of god.

And I've also now included significantly my viewpoint fronted adverbial.

And instead of just saying a role in the daily lives of the Ancient Greeks, I've said they played an important role.

So, again, I'm adding more information.

And then, I've added, and it influenced their worldview.

So, I'm adding extra information.

I've got another viewpoint fronted adverbial, because I feel that it introduces the next fact really nicely.

I've said that the Greek mythology was an integral part.

Again, adding that extra bit of information about their religious beliefs, saying that it was important, it was significant.

And then, I've got my formal fronted adverbial furthermore, because I wanted to build again on another point.

They celebrated numerous, instead of saying religious festivals, they said that they celebrated a few religious festivals.

Okay, so I'm happy with those extra bits of a language that I've included.

They're ambitious, so I'm happy with that.

And I've also checked that the language matches the text type.

So, I'll give that one a tick.

To summarise, editing is the process of making changes to improve writing.

The job of an editor is to check punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, and review language choices.

The editing process is a critical part of the writing process.

Well done.

You have edited the first half of your non-chronological report about Ancient Greeks.

I really enjoyed teaching you this lesson.