Hello, my name is Ms. Willow, and I'm going to be teaching you today's lesson.

Today's lesson is called Mapping our Boundaries and it fits into the unit Healthy Relationships: How Can We Have Healthy Boundaries? During this lesson, we're going to be talking a little bit about peer pressure, so we recommend that you have an adult with you for the duration of this lesson.

If at any point you do feel worried or uncomfortable, it's really important that you close the screen and that you go and speak to a trusted adult.

Okay, let's make a start on today's learning.

By the end of today's lesson, you'll be able to describe what your personal boundaries are.

Before we get started with today's lesson, we need to go over some ground rules.

These helps make sure that everyone feels safe and comfortable throughout today's lesson.

Laura says that we need to listen to others.

This means that we're not going to interrupt other people if they're speaking.

Andeep says we need to respect each other's privacy.

This means we're not going to ask anyone any personal questions as this can make some people feel uncomfortable.

Jacob says, "No judgement !" This means we're not going to judge anyone for what they think, what they feel, or what they've experienced.

And finally, Izzy says that we can choose our level of participation.

This means it's up to us how much we want to join in.

We are now going to go through the keywords for today's lesson.

These are gonna pop up multiple times throughout today's lesson, so it's important that we have a good understanding of what each of these keywords means.

Boundary, this is an imaginary line separating what we will and won't allow.

Physical, this means relating to your body.

Emotional, this means relating to your feelings and your thoughts.

Personal in this context, this means something to do with ourselves.

And finally affect, this is when something has an influence on someone or something.

As we go through today's lesson, keep an eye out for these keywords.

And when you spot them, see if you can remember what they mean.

Today's lesson is split into three learning cycles.

The first learning cycle is called what kinds of boundaries might people have? The second learning cycle is called what are my personal boundaries? And finally, our last learning cycle is called how do I say no respectfully? Let's make a start on our first learning cycle.

What kinds of boundaries might people have? Everyone has boundaries even if they don't realise it.

Boundaries can be physical, and this means relate to our body.

For example, we might say, "No hugs, thanks!" "Don't touch me please!" "Please don't touch my hair!" Or, "I only hug my family and friends." These are all examples of physical boundaries.

Boundaries can also be emotional and they can relate to how we feel.

For example, "I need some time alone to calm down." "I only talk about how I feel with my family," or, "I don't talk to people who talk over me," or, "I'm not friends with people who make unkind comments about my appearance." These are all examples of emotional boundaries.

Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing so far.

Which of these is an example of a physical boundary? Is it A, I don't talk to people who make me feel guilty for maintaining my boundaries, or B, I need some personal space, please could you take a step back? Which of these is a physical boundary? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B is correct.

This is a physical boundary because it relates to someone's body.

We can also have financial boundaries which relate to how we spend our money.

For example, we might say, "I don't lend money to people without asking a trusted adult first." "I prefer to spend money on healthy snacks," or, "I only spend 10 pounds on birthday presents." These are all examples of financial boundaries.

There are also online boundaries which help us to stay safe and comfortable when we use digital devices.

Someone's online boundaries could include, "I don't accept friend requests from people I don't know." "I don't play online games with strangers," or, "I prefer to turn off group chat notifications." These are all examples of online boundaries.

Let's do a check for understanding.

This time I'd like you to decide is Andeep correct? Andeep says, "An example of a financial boundary is not wanting to be part of a group chat.

An online boundary could mean not wanting to give someone money." What do you think? Is Andeep correct? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Andeep is incorrect.

Why? You might have said that a financial boundary relates to money and an online boundary relates to what we do online.

Andeep is incorrect because he's mixed the two up.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

We're now moving on to your first practise task, and you're doing a brilliant job so far.

Can you complete the table with two examples of each type of boundary? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what you might have said.

For physical boundary, you might have said not hugging, not being touched.

As an emotional boundary, you might have said needing time alone to calm down or only talking to family members about feelings.

Some financial boundaries include only spending money on certain things or talking to a trusted adult before lending money.

And some online boundaries include not accepting friend requests from online strangers or turning off notifications in group chats.

Well done if you had any of these or if you had something similar.

We're now moving on to our second learning cycle, what are my personal boundaries? We should know what our personal boundaries are.

Our personal boundaries guide us to make choices that are safe and comfortable for us.

They can also help us to make sure that our friendships are healthy.

Someone respecting our personal boundaries is an example of a green flag.

Sometimes we might not know what our boundaries are until we've experienced them being challenged or ignored, and this can make us feel uncomfortable.

Aisha says, "I never really knew that I didn't like hugs until someone hugged me without my permission." Now, I tell this to people that I meet so that they know that hugging me without permission makes me uncomfortable.

Not hugging me without permission is one of my personal boundaries." As we get older, we can create and change our boundaries based on what we've experienced.

Here, Henry says, "When I was younger, I used to feel overwhelmed after playing loud games.

Now that I'm older and know that I find loud environments tricky, I have boundaries about avoiding these situations." Let's do a check for understanding to see how you're doing with this learning cycle.

Is this statement true or false? If we don't know what our boundaries are, this means that we don't have any.

What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that this is false, but why? You might have said that everyone has boundaries, and sometimes it takes our boundaries being ignored or challenged for us to realise what boundaries we have.

Well done if you said this or something similar.

It's important to remember that our boundaries are only about things that happen to us.

"Please don't hug me!" is an example of a reasonable boundary because someone hugging us affects us.

But something like, "Please don't hug your other friends!" is not a reasonable boundary because it doesn't involve or affect us.

Our personal boundaries should not be used to control other people when their actions are not directly affecting us.

For example, this would be an example of an unreasonable personal boundary, "It makes me upset when my friends play with other people.

My boundary is that my friends aren't allowed to play with other people." This isn't a reasonable boundary because it's trying to manipulate people even though their actions don't affect us.

If we're not sure whether a boundary of ours is reasonable, we can ask ourselves, "Do their actions directly affect me?" And, "Am I trying to control their behaviour towards other people?" We can also ask a trusted adult to help us to decide if our boundary is reasonable.

If it is a reasonable boundary, they can support us to communicate our boundary to someone else.

Let's do another check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide which is not an example of a reasonable boundary? Is there A, "I don't like that person, so you can't invite them to your birthday party," or B, "I don't like that person so I'm not comfortable coming to your birthday party if they'll be there." Which is not an example of a reasonable boundary? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that A is not a reasonable boundary.

It would be unreasonable to ask someone to not invite someone to a birthday party just because we don't like them.

This would be trying to manipulate someone else's actions and trying to control someone else's behaviour even though what they're doing doesn't directly affect us.

Well done if you got this right.

It's time to move on to your second practise task.

Well done for your hard work so far.

For this task, I'd like you to correct each statement to show your understanding of personal boundaries so far.

Number one, our personal boundaries guide us to make choices that make us feel uncomfortable.

Number two, once we have a boundary, we can't change it.

Number three, our boundaries are about what other people do.

And four, our personal boundaries can be used to control other people so that we never feel uncomfortable.

Can you correct each of these statements? Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Okay, let's see what your answers may have been.

Number one might now say our personal boundaries guide us to make choices that make us feel safe and comfortable.

Number two might now say once we have a boundary, we can change it, especially as we get older and have different experiences.

Number three might now say our boundaries are only about things that happen to us.

And number four, our personal boundaries should not be used to control other people when their actions are not directly affecting us.

It can feel uncomfortable when our boundaries are being challenged or ignored, but we can ask a trusted adult for help.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

It's time to move on to our final learning cycle.

How do I say no respectfully? We should never feel pressure to change our boundary.

If we feel pressure to change a boundary, this is what we call a red flag.

A red flag is a sign that the relationship may not be healthy.

What do you think about what Laura says? Laura says, "Everyone else should know my boundaries without me having to tell them." What do you think? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that Laura is incorrect.

It's important to let other people know what we are or are not comfortable with so that they don't ignore or cross our boundaries accidentally.

We have a responsibility to state our boundaries so that everyone has the chance to respect them and to be a good friend.

Here, Sofia says, "I don't like loud noises because they make my ears hurt," and Izzy says, "Thanks for letting me know!" Because Sofia has told Izzy her boundary, Izzy now knows to respect this boundary and she can be a good friend.

We can be better friends when we know what our friends' boundaries are.

Izzy now says, "Now that I know Sofia doesn't like loud noises, I can suggest quieter games and this makes Sofia feel more comfortable." Good friends have a responsibility to always respect our boundaries.

Let's do a check for understanding.

This time, I'd like you to decide which words are missing.

We have a responsibility to state our something so that everyone has the chance to something them.

What's the missing words? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that the missing words were boundaries and respect.

The full sentence now says, "We have a responsibility to state our boundaries so that everyone has the chance to respect them." Well done if you got this right.

It's important to be kind but firm when we say no to others.

We could say, "No thank you!" "I prefer to.

." "No, I don't want to," or, "No, I'd prefer not to." We could also say, "How about we do this instead?" It can be hard to say no sometimes, especially to our friends.

However, sometimes we need to say no to others so that we can say yes to feeling safe, comfortable, and happy.

Good friends should respect our boundaries because they want us to feel comfortable and we can always tell a trusted adult if we need help saying no.

Someone respecting our boundaries is a green flag, which means that's suggest that the relationship is healthy.

When we maintain our boundaries by saying no, we're also showing others that it's okay to say no.

Here, Lucas says, "My friend Aisha doesn't like hugs.

Because she said, 'No,' when I asked her for a hug, it made me feel more comfortable to say, 'No,' to people touching my hair." Let's do another check for understanding.

How could Jun say no respectfully? In this scenario, Jun says, "My friend asked to borrow some money, but I don't want to lend it." How could he say no respectfully? Could he say A, "Hmm, I'd rather not, but okay," B, "No, why don't you ask your trusted adults instead?" or C, "I don't feel comfortable with that, so no." Which of these examples show Jun saying no respectfully? Pause the video, tell the person next to you, "Tell me," or have a think to yourself.

Well done if you said that B and C are correct.

Both B and C show Jun saying no respectfully.

Scenario A, Jun's saying, "Hmm, I'd rather not, but okay," would not show Jun saying no respectfully.

Here he isn't maintaining his boundary even though it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Well done if you said the same thing.

It's time to move on to our final practise task.

Well done on your hard work so far.

For this task, I'd like you to suggest to Laura two ways that she could say no respectfully.

Laura says, "I've been asked to go for a sleepover at my friends at the weekend, but I don't feel comfortable doing this.

How can I say no without hurting her feelings?" Pause the video and we'll go through some potential answers in a few minutes.

Let's see what you might have said.

You might have said that Laura could say something like, "No thank you, I prefer not to." She could suggest a different plan such as going to her friends for dinner and going home before bed, or she could ask a trusted adult to help her say no respectfully.

Well done if you had this or something similar.

We're now going to summarise the key learning from today's lesson.

In today's lesson, we've learned that everyone has boundaries.

Boundaries can be physical, emotional, financial, or online.

It can be helpful to know what our personal boundaries are so that we can communicate this to others.

Our boundaries only relate to things that happen to us, and our boundaries should never be used to control other people when their actions don't directly affect us.

And finally, we've learned that when we say no, we can be kind but firm.

Good friends will always respect our boundaries.

In today's lesson, you might have found that you've got some worries or some questions, and if you do, it's really important that you share these with a trusted adult.

There's also some organisations on the screen that are there to help you too.

Well done for your fantastic hard work in today's lesson.

I'm really proud of you, and I hope to see you in another lesson soon.