Lesson video

Hi, I'm Mr. Buckingham and it's really nice to see you today for our lesson on parenthesis using dashes.

Now, we are going to be using dashes today to add extra details to create a dramatic effect for our reader.

So this is gonna be incredibly useful for us in our writing when we really want to ramp up the tension and the drama to create an exciting effect for our reader.

Let's get to work, today's lesson is called parenthesis, dashes from our unit called speech punctuation, parenthesis, and apostrophes.

By the end of today's lesson, we'll be able to use dashes to create a dramatic effect for our reader.

Now, whenever we write, we are trying to think about how the reader feels based on what we've written, and that's especially true with today's work.

We are going to think about how we can use extra details added in dashes to really have a strong emotional effect on our reader to really make them feel the emotions we want 'em to feel when they read our work.

So let's make a start.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

My turn, your turn, parenthesis, dashes and dramatic effect.

Well done.

Parenthesis is additional information that's added to a sentence, and if it's removed, the sentence still makes sense.

Dashes are a punctuation mark used to add extra information in a clause often for dramatic effect.

And if we write for dramatic effect, we're writing in order to have a certain effect on our reader to make them feel a certain way or a certain emotion.

Here's our lesson outline.

We're going to start off by adding dashes to show where parenthesis is in a sentence, and then we're gonna move on to adding our own parenthesis for dramatic effect.

Now, when we're writing a fiction text such as a narrative, a story, we often want to create a dramatic effect for our reader.

For instance, we might want to show a reader that someone is feeling anxious as they walk through a dark forest.

Here's how I've done it.

Glancing over our shoulders, we tiptoe nervously along the narrow path, our hearts pounded in our chests.

Suddenly a sound issued from the darkness on our right.

Now that's already quite dramatic.

My reader's already feeling a little bit anxious about this situation based on how my characters would be feeling, but we can use extra details in dashes to heighten or increase that dramatic effect.

Here's how, we could say, glancing over our shoulders, we tiptoed nervously, barely breathing along the narrow path, our hearts thumping like hammers, pounded in our chests.

Suddenly a sound, low and rumbling issued from the darkness on our right.

Can you see those dashes which always come in a pair around some extra details I've added in to heighten that dramatic effect? I want you to try reading that paragraph now, using those dashes to help you show the dramatic effect.

And you might notice how they create little interruptions to the sentences when we're reading.

So pause the video and see if you can read this paragraph, really showing the dramatic effect we're trying to have.

Have a go.

Okay, I'll show you how I did it.

See if you have something similar.

I did this, glancing over our shoulders, we tiptoed nervously, barely breathing along the narrow path, our hearts thumping like hammers, pounded in our chests, suddenly a sound, low and rumbling issued from the darkness on our right.

So those dashes add in that extra detail, which heightens the dramatic effect, the anxiety, the fear that our reader's feeling as they imagine our characters in this scary situation.

Really well done.

So as we've just seen in fiction writing, we can use dashes to add extra details that heighten, that increase that emotion the reader was already feeling as they read.

So here are the sentences that I wrote and I've highlighted here the extra details I added in the dashes.

Barely breathing, thumping like hammers, low and rumbling.

And notice how each one has a pair of dashes around it, a dash before and a dash after to show that it was added into that sentence.

So those extra details make us feel even more nervous for these characters, and they've added to that dramatic effect, added to the effect of anxiety and fear.

And these extra details inside dashes are a form of what we call parenthesis and parenthesis is just extra detail added to a sentence and it could be removed and the sentence would still make sense.

Let me show you.

There's my parenthesis inside the dashes, barely breathing.

If I remove it, the sentence says, glancing over our shoulders, we tiptoed nervously along the narrow path.

It still makes sense, if I remove this one, the sentence says, our hearts pounded in our chest here the parentheses low and rumbling inside the dashes, remove it and the sentence still makes sense.

We have to be able to remove the parenthesis and the sentence has to still make sense.

So try reading these sentences with the parenthesis removed, they should still make complete sense.

Try it out and see if they do, have a go.

Okay, here's how we could do it, let's check the first one.

It would say the lion pounced, and it ensnared its prey, that works.

For B, it would say, we tiptoed into the dark house holding our breath for fear of disturbing anything.

In C, I can see the parenthesis inside the dashes is forgotten and discarded.

If I remove it, the sentence says the teddy bear sat and he watched people come and go from the little shop, and that works too.

So we can remove the parenthesis and the sentence still makes sense.

So see if you can match each sentence on the left to the idea that the parenthesis is trying to heighten for dramatic effect.

Remember the point of adding that parenthesis, fast as a lightning bolt, slowly and anxiously, forgotten and discarded is to increase a feeling we already had.

So what is that feeling in each of the sentences on the left? Pause the video and match them up.

Okay, let's see what you got.

For A, we have the lion pounced fast as a lightning bolt, and it ensnared, that means caught its prey.

That's showing us the speed, isn't it? It's emphasising the speed with which the lion pounced.

For B, we've got we tiptoed slowly and anxiously into the dark house, holding our breath for fear of disturbing anything.

And that slowly and anxiously highlights, emphasises, heightens our nervousness as we think about this situation.

And in C, we've got that parenthesis, forgotten and discarded, which emphasises the loneliness with which the teddy bear sat.

So each time there's already a feeling in the sentence, but that parenthesis you've added in to emphasise, heighten that feeling, well done for matching those correctly.

Now if we remove the parenthesis and the sentence no longer makes sense, then their parenthesis was not written correctly.

Let me show you, here's a bad example.

The soldier trudged exhausted and alone through the devastation.

Inside the dashes there I have trudged exhausted and alone.

If I remove that, the sentence says the soldier through the devastation, that does not make sense.

So I can't have used that parenthesis correctly.

Instead, I should have written this, the soldier trudged, exhausted and alone through the devastation.

So here I've got my parenthesis as exhausted and alone, and if I remove that, the sentence still makes sense.

So that has been done correctly.

The parenthesis is extra detail.

It heightens the dramatic effect for our reader, but it's not essential.

We are adding extra dramatic effect to ramp up that feeling they already had from what might have been already a very good sentence.

We've just added the parenthesis for a little bit extra.

So which sentence here has the parenthesis written correctly? Remember, you can test by removing it and seeing if the sentence still makes sense.

Pause the video and see what you think.

Okay, let's check these.

In A, the parenthesis was vast and empty was filled.

If I remove that, it says the cave with echoes of her footsteps.

That does not work.

In B, the parenthesis is quivering with sorrow, I'll remove it.

And it says, the dull waited and waited on the narrow shelf.

Oh, that one works, so that parenthesis was correct.

In C, if I remove the parenthesis, it says the dragon's fiery breath scorched the earth, fear into our hearts.

That does not make sense.

That parenthesis cannot have been right.

Really well done if you got that one.

Now, if a sentence contains parenthesis, we can identify where to place the dashes by deciding which part of the sentence is the extra information.

Because remember, the parenthesis is the extra information.

So here's a sentence which contains some parenthesis, but it hasn't yet had the dashes added.

A sound deep and gurgling issued from the depths of the tunnel.

Well, I can see that this part is the main clause.

It would make sense on its own, a sound issued from the depths of the tunnel.

So that means that this part could be removed.

It's the extra information, it's the parenthesis.

So that's the part I need to put inside the dashes.

A sound deep and gurgling issued from the depths of the tunnel.

We put the part we could remove inside the dashes because that's the extra information.

That's the parenthesis.

So we must find the part that can be removed in order to know which part can be placed inside the dashes.

The wave hit the boat spray flying wildly, and we were suddenly pushed to our hands and knees.

This part could be removed.

It would now say the wave hit the boat and we were suddenly pushed to our hands and knees.

So that part is the bit I can put inside my dashes.

That's the parenthesis, and it would look like this.

Let's look at this one.

The sun fiercely hot as an oven blazed down, as I tipped the last drop of water into my mouth, I could remove this part.

So that must be the parenthesis.

So I'm going to put that inside my dashes.

The sun fiercely hot as an oven blazed down as I tipped the last drop of water into my mouth.

So where should the parenthesis be shown using dashes in these sentences, pause the video and work out which part could you remove and place that part inside the dashes, have a go.

Okay, let's take a look.

In A, the parenthesis would be thunderous and spine-chilling, because if I remove that, the sentence would say a roar echoed through the maze of tunnels.

So that would work, and we've put dashes either side.

In B, the parenthesis is hard as iron and in C huddling together for warmth, each of those could be removed and the sentence around it would still make sense.

That tells us it's extra information, which is parenthesis, so we can put it inside our dashes.

Really good job if you've got those.

Now let's do our first task for this lesson.

I'm going to show you some sentences which contain parenthesis, but don't have the dashes added in yet to show it.

So can you add a pair of dashes to each sentence to show the parenthesis? Here are the sentences.

Pause the video, add those dashes to show the parenthesis.

Have a go.

Okay, let's take a look.

In A, the parenthesis would be gasping for air.

In B, cold as ice.

In C, not one single person.

In D, withered and brown.

In E, pulse racing, and in F, deafeningly loud.

Notice how in every case the sentence that is around the parenthesis would still make sense.

So if I take B, it would say the water sucked the breath from my lungs, as I jumped in, I could remove that parenthesis and the sentence would still make sense.

If you got those, fantastic job, well done.

Okay, we've learned how to add dashes to show parenthesis.

Now we're going to practise adding parenthesis for ourselves to show a dramatic effect.

So we've seen that dashes can be used to add parenthesis for dramatic effect to heighten a feeling for our reader.

Now we know that emotions, positive and negative emotions can be felt with different intensity at different levels.

We can show that on a spectrum like this, I could say an emotion is a mild emotion, an emotion I only feel a little, so I feel a little sad and I've put my arrow at the blue end of the spectrum to show that, at the other end of the spectrum I could feel an emotion intensely.

I could feel an awful lot, so I could be completely devastated instead of a little sad.

And the red shows us that intensity of emotion.

The same is true of descriptions.

They can be done with different intensity as well.

So I could have a weak description.

I could say something is quite big or quite cold, or I could have a strong description.

I could say something is gigantic or freezing.

Can you see how that's a much more intense description of something being big or cold? And that's how we can really try and heighten these dramatic effects for our readers.

So we tend to use dashes to show parenthesis in fiction text to make intense feelings and strong descriptions even stronger.

So we've already got a strong feeling and we're trying to make it even stronger for our reader.

So here's an example.

I could say a growl came from the trees around her.

Already, that sentence shows me some fear.

So I might put it here in the yellow orange section of my spectrum.

It's already fairly intense fear.

But then if I add my parenthesis using dashes, I could say this, a growl, low and threatening came from the trees around her that has raised it up to intense fear.

It's gone up to the red end of the spectrum.

In the same way I could do a description, the waves crashed against the granite cliffs.

Hmm, those waves already sound quite ferocious.

We could say they have quite intense ferocity that would go there in the orange section again.

But if I add some parenthesis and dashes like this, the waves hard as iron crashed against the granite cliffs.

Again, I've increased the intensity.

I've made it intensely ferocious.

I'm showing intense ferocity in this red section here.

So again, we are using the parenthesis and dashes to ramp up the emotion the reader already feels that's showing a dramatic effect.

So which of these sentences do you think shows an intense emotion or a description that we could heighten further using parenthesis? So what we're saying here is which ones of these are appropriate to add some parenthesis using dashes to ramp up a feeling which is already strong? Pause the video and see if you can decide.

Okay, let's take a look.

A is showing sweeping and snatching.

I would say those are quite dramatic.

So I think yes, that one is appropriate.

But in B, the eagle soaring calmly.

I don't think that's very intense, so I wouldn't use my extra parenthesis there.

For C, the man is smiling and walking.

That doesn't sound like an intense emotion to me.

So I don't think that's the right sentence to use, but indeed, the man's hobbling and the street is ruined.

Now that's suggesting some kind of sadness to me or maybe some destruction.

So I think that one could be appropriate to use some extra parenthesis for dramatic effect in dashes.

Really well done if you came to the same conclusions.

Now let's suppose we've decided like we just did that a sentence contains a dramatic effect that we could heighten or ramp up using our parenthesis.

So we'd now have to decide where the parenthesis could be placed in that sentence.

Here's a sentence we've just seen.

We decided this is dramatic enough, intense enough that we could ramp up further using our parenthesis.

So where could we put that parenthesis? Well, we could put it after the word eagle and we could put it there to interrupt the sentence to emphasise what makes that eagle scary.

So we could say the eagle, its dark eyes, glittering greedily swooped down and snatched the mouse.

So we've emphasised to our reader this is a terrifying animal, but we could put parenthesis here after down, the eagle swooped down, and we could interrupt the sentence here to emphasise how ferociously it swoops down.

So I could say the eagle swooped down, determined and deadly and snatched the mouse.

So depending where we interrupt the sentence and depending what we add in as the parenthesis, we're going to emphasise different things for our reader.

So we're going to interrupt that sentence with the parenthesis, wherever we think will emphasise the dramatic effect the most.

Here's the other sentence we previously saw.

So where could we interrupt this for dramatic effect? I could interrupt it after exhausted man, and I could interrupt here to emphasise his appearance or his emotions.

So I could say the exhausted man, his eyes bleary and filled with tears hobbled down the ruined street.

That parenthesis emphasises his sadness and tiredness.

And here I could interrupt again after hobbled.

If I interrupted after hobbled, I could emphasise how difficult he is finding it to move.

Hobbled is a difficult movement.

So I could add even more to that idea of him finding it difficult to walk.

I could say the exhausted man hobbled, his teeth gritted against the pain down the ruined street.

And so again, what we choose to add in affects the dramatic effect that we are giving to our reader.

So I've got two sentences here, which you've already seen.

And on the right I've put in some possible pieces of parenthesis you could use.

Can you choose an appropriate piece of parenthesis to add to each sentence in dashes to heighten the dramatic effect? And you might choose to add it in the same places I've already shown you, pause the video and see what you can do.

Okay, here are some ideas.

For the eagle, we could say the eagle, its talons dripping with blood swooped down and it snatched the mouse.

For the exhausted man, I could say the exhausted man, the only man left, hobbled down the ruined street.

Hopefully you've got something similar and hopefully you've managed to place that parenthesis in the right place to emphasise whatever it was we were trying to show our reader.

So the parenthesis we choose to add will depend on the emotion or the description that we are trying to emphasise.

So here's an example, suddenly a sound issued from the darkness on our right.

Now, we've already got some fear and anxiety about this sound in our sentence.

So we're going to heighten that for dramatic effect by adding some details after that sound.

We could say a low rumble, a horrifying bloodcurdling sound, a deep echoing moan.

So we could end up with a sentence that looks like this, suddenly a sound, a low rumble issued from the darkness in our right, or we could have suddenly a sound, a horrifying bloodcurdling sound issues in the darkness.

And the same with a deep echoing moan.

So we've interrupted the sentence after a sound to add in parenthesis about that sound to heighten that feeling of fear and anxiety.

So Alex wrote this sentence.

The girl stepped into the deserted cottage and Mrs. Begum asked him to heighten the dramatic effect by adding parenthesis using dashes.

So which option does this best? A is the girl, limbs trembling, pulse racing, stepped into the deserted cottage, B says the girl stepped quiet as a mouse into the deserted cottage.

Which of those two do you think does the best job of heightening the dramatic effect inside that parenthesis? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Now the answer to this is not as simple as we might think, because remember, it depends what we're trying to show for our reader, I would say that option A emphasises her fear.

She's trembling, her pulse is racing, but option B emphasises the silence of that house, that deserted cottage.

So which one you think is better will depend on what effect we're trying to have on our reader.

Are you more interested in showing fear or in showing silence? And that might depend on what's going to happen next in the story.

So sometimes the decision about what parenthesis we add won't be as simple as it might appear.

Well done for having a go.

Okay, now it's your turn.

I'm going to show you some ideas and we're gonna use them to create sentences with parenthesis using dashes.

So here's a basic sentence.

The doll waited for years on the dusty shelf.

That already shows us some sadness and loneliness.

So we want to try and heighten that dramatic effect.

We could add some parenthesis, which looks like this.

Lonely and abandoned, unseen and unheard, forgotten and rejected, ignored by everyone, quite alone.

So what I'd like you to do is try and think of a sentence using that parenthesis placed inside the sentence we started with.

And I've given you some clues as to where you could put it.

You could put it after the doll or you could put it after for years.

So have a think when you pause the video about where you could add that parenthesis and what your sentence would then look like to heighten that effect of sadness and loneliness.

Have a go.

Okay, let's have a look at some ideas you could have come up with.

We could have said the doll, lonely and abandoned, waited for years on the dusty shelf.

The doll, forgotten and rejected, waited for years.

The doll waited for years unseen and unheard on the dusty shelf, or the doll waited for years ignored by everyone on the dusty shelf.

So hopefully you managed to put one of those pieces in parenthesis inside dashes in the right place in that sentence to heighten that feeling of sadness and loneliness, good job.

Okay, let's try our final task for this lesson.

In a moment, I'm going to show you some sentences which already contain a strong feeling, and I'd like you to use parenthesis inside dashes to increase that dramatic effect.

I've put some ideas on the left hand side of the kind of parenthesis we've used just as some inspiration.

You're going to have to use different types of parenthesis to show different emotions.

We've used things like shivering with cold, alone and abandoned, limbs aching, as quiet as mice, sadly and silently.

Let's look at the sentences you are going to add the parenthesis to.

We've got the small boy tiptoed down the dark tunnel.

Hmm, that shows me a bit of fear and anxiety.

We've got a sound came from the deep well.

Oh, that sounds mysterious.

And we've got the dragon breathed fire down on the village.

That sounds almost vicious, doesn't it? So remember, we're trying to increase that intensity in the sentence.

They're already showing a strong emotion.

We are going to try and increase it to this red end of the spectrum, the intense end, by adding in some parenthesis.

So you're going to have to think where can I interrupt this sentence and what parenthesis could I add in order to heighten that feeling? So pause the video and have a go.

Okay, let's look at some example sentences.

Yours of course will look different, but hopefully you managed to increase those feelings by using your parenthesis.

For the first sentence we said, there's a feeling of fear.

So let's see if I increased it.

I said, the small boy shivering in fear tiptoed down the dark tunnel.

And I said, the small boy hands shaking tiptoed down the dark tunnel.

I think I've increased the intensity there.

For B, we've got a sound came from the deep well that sounds mysterious, eerie.

Let's see if I've increased it.

I said, a sound low and eerie came from the deep well and a sound came softly and eerily from the deep well again, I think I've increased that intensity of that eerie feeling.

For C, we've got the dragon breathed fire down in the village.

That sounds kind of vicious, doesn't it? So I've gone for the dragon, furious and fierce breathed fire down in the village and the dragon as vast as an ocean liner breathed fire down in the village.

So I've almost emphasised the size and the fierceness of that dragon, the ferocity of the dragon as he breathes the fire on the village.

So hopefully you've managed to increase the intensity of those feelings as well.

Really good job.

Okay, let's summarise our learning in this lesson, we've learned that parenthesis is additional information that has been added to a sentence.

And if it's removed, the sentence still makes sense.

We've learned that we can use dashes to add parenthesis in a fiction piece of writing, and the parenthesis adds extra detail that heightens or increases the dramatic effect for the reader.

And we've learned that the dashes are placed either side of the extra detail in the sentence.

I really hope you've enjoyed today's lesson, and I hope that you're able to go away now and try and add some extra detail in parenthesis, in your dramatic writing to really increase those feelings for your reader.

Really well done and I hope to see you again in a future lesson, goodbye.