Hello, welcome.

Thank you for joining me for today's lesson, which is all about planning a well-structured response.

I'm Mrs. Butterworth, let's get started.

So before we get into the lesson, there are a few keywords we just need to have a look at that will hopefully appear throughout the lesson today.

So these words are judicious, addiction, perspective, adolescence, and turbulent.

To be judicious is to make good and informed decisions.

Having an addiction means a person can't stop using a substance or engaging in a specific activity.

A perspective is the way someone thinks or feels about a particular thing.

Adolescence is the period between being a teenager and becoming an adult.

If something is turbulent, it is chaotic and unstable.

Look out for these keywords, particularly when we're reading our text today, and I'm sure you will spot them.

So this is what the outline of our lesson looks like.

So the first part, we're going to be doing some reading and it's entitled "A letter to.

." Then we're going to look at how we can open and close our well-structured paragraphs.

And then finally, we're gonna think about how we can use and select judicious quotes.

So let's start by reading "A letter to.

," our text.

So before we start reading the text, we can make some predictions just by looking at the title and the subtitle.

So at this point you may want to pause the video and considering.

We're going to be looking at a non-fiction text today.

But before we delve into the text, we can use our predictive reading skills to make some predictions about what we could be reading.

So things that we might consider is: who is the writer of the text? What is the text about? What is the writer's intention? Who is going to read this text? And who is it addressed to? Perspective, what point of view or opinions might be presented in this text? And finally, the form of the text, what type of writing is it? So before we delve in, have a little look at the title and consider some of these points.

You may want to pause the video now.

Okay, so let's have a little look at some of the things I could hear you discussing.

So the first thing is the writer is someone who is writing to "my son." So this could suggest that it is a parent writing the letter.

The subject, we can see that it's about a son and his battle with drug addiction from the title.

Likewise, we can start to guess the purpose, which is probably to address the son directly.

You know, the fact that in this title it says "my son" shows that the letter is addressed to the son.

But also, it is published in a newspaper, so we can kind of start to guess that it's probably to speak to a wider audience about addiction.

And then who is the audience of this letter? So obviously the letter is addressed to the son.

We can tell that from the title.

But then as I said previously, it is also in a newspaper so those readers of the newspaper will also get to read the letter.

And what perspective might a parent have about their son who is a drug addict? So we can start to predict and guess that maybe this parent is expressing difficulties and distress that come with addiction, and maybe about presenting the negative impacts of drug use.

And finally, we know that it's a letter because it says that and I have said already that it has been published in a newspaper.

So that's our form.

So you can see how using our predictive skills, we can already start to think about what the text is about.

Okay, we're going to read the letter together now, and as we do, I will pause after each section and we can just unpick a few key parts of the text.

Here we go.

"I remember the time around your birth vividly.

"My waters had broken "and as there were no signs of contractions, "you were induced and arrived the following morning "at 3:50 AM, all seven pounds, four ounces of you.

"When I held you for the first time, "you were truly the most beautiful "and perfect thing I had ever seen.

"Everything and everyone else looked dirty and jaded, "but you looked and smelled and felt like perfection.

"I have loved you unreservedly since then." So if we look at these adjectives, "beautiful and perfect," we can see the mother's perspective on her newborn son.

She just thinks the most perfect little thing she's ever seen.

And she's presenting her son as this wonderful being.

And then also in this first section.

we get this use of first person and direct address.

So that "I," that personal pronoun, it really emphasises that it's her point of view.

And it builds a rapport with us as an audience.

And likewise, that direct address, "you," shows that she's directly addressing her son and speaks to him and appeals to him directly.

So again, this first person and direct address really appeals to the emotive side of both the son as a reader and us as an audience.

Let's read the next section.

"During your adolescence, "you were growing increasingly troubled.

"The turbulence between your dad and myself, I realise now, "had a deep and lasting impact on you.

"And for that, I am truly sorry.

"At 16 you looked lost, you moved out, "fiercely maintaining your individualism "and your independence.

"I did not stop you "as having you live at home was really hard by then.

"I have watched you groan, "seen you struggle with your deep "and growing reliance on illegal substances, "celebrated the arrival of your two beautiful children, "delighted at how they act, how you embraced fatherhood, "your capability, even-temperedness, "calmness, and kindness amazed me." So we can see here how the mother starts to present her feelings.

She's talking about the turbulence between her mum and dad and how it had a lasting impact.

So as this extract we go through, we can see that she holds a lot of guilt that she feels, she's apologising and she's taking responsibility for part of what has happened.

And then we get this description of the son as a father, and we get this complex sentence list, the list of "capability, even-temperedness, "calmness, and kindness." And that list really emphasises and shows how, again, how wonderful the mother thinks her son is.

So although this is about her son's addiction and those troubles, this first section kind of, the first and second section really begin to show this turmoil that the mother's in.

She really loves him, he's perfection, he's done this wonderful things.

But on the other hand, he is struggling with this drug addiction.

So let's read the next part.

"Then the dark clouds.

"Desperate money problems, relationship breakdown, "overdoses, homelessness, chaos, and loneliness.

"And finally, the realisation that you, my lovely son, "are a heroine and a crack addict, "living a most appalling life.

"Over the past four years, "I have watched you systematically destroying yourself.

"Sometimes it has felt too difficult to bear." So there's a real change in tone and perspective here.

"Then the dark clouds." So in the second half, the writer here is really showing how things changed, how he went from this beautiful, perfect baby to this troubled adult with his addiction, with those dark clouds, those metaphorical dark clouds.

And again, we get this list of all the problems that the son has had with relationships, money problems, overdoses, and there's a big long list about all of the impacts that his drug addiction has had.

And then she describes how she feels that it's too difficult to bear.

So she's explaining how she just, sometimes she struggles to witness it and she struggles with it and how awful it is.

So before we read the final section, I just want to see how much you have picked up.

So I'd like you to read the statements below and pick out the three statements which you think are true.

Excellent, well done.

So for those of you that picked A, C, and D, you were absolutely correct.

Okay, so let's read the final part of the extract right the way to the end.

"But today, we are at the launderette, "spending some rare mother-and-son time together.

"Your jaw was broken in a fight a few weeks ago.

"You are thin and gaunt and carry a pungent smell on you.

"We load the washing into the machines.

"Your clothes are peppered with bloodstains "like a map indicating where you inject." So we get these really interesting adjectives here.

She talks about him being "thin and gaunt" and having this "pungent smell." So we really start to understand the degradation of the son's appearance and physical health, which directly juxtaposes and contrasts the previous paragraph where the mother was stating how beautiful and perfect he was and how he had this lovely smell about him.

Now in the second half, it directly contrasts that.

And then we also get this interesting use of simile at the bottom where the writer was talking about the "map indicating where you inject." And that simile and the peppering of blood on his clothes, it almost acts as like showing the journey of his addiction, how his body, these symbols, kind of map out his journey and dissent into drug addiction.

So it's a really interesting use of simile and language there to depict this kind of descent into drug addiction.

And finally, "You tell me that you need clean clothes "as you may shortly be going to a treatment centre "if the funding can be secured.

"It's the only news I want to hear and I know it.

"But I don't allow my hopes to rise.

"Those stay well hidden these days "as they have been smashed so many times before.

"We go for a coffee and talk a little "and laugh and smile together.

"I recognise and welcome the feeling of normality "that is not normal for us.

"It is a good time.

"We go our separate ways, but you are always in my thoughts.

"Love, Mum." Okay, so how does a mother feel about the treatment centre? So she says it's really good news and it's what she wants to hear, but we can tell that the way she talks about this, she doesn't necessarily believe it and that perhaps she's been in this situation before.

So she talks metaphorically about her hopes being smashed and she doesn't want her hopes to rise.

So we can see that their relationship has been really fraught, it's really complex and that obviously, she wants her son to get better, but equally, she's almost protecting herself from the disappointment that comes with thinking that he's going to that treatment centre.

And then at the end, we return to the mother's love that she describes at the very start of the extract.

So it ends in concern.

She says, "You are always in my thoughts.

"Love, Mum." So even though she describes all these awful things, the disappointments, the list of things that her son has gone through through drug addiction, we finish this letter hearing that she always thinks about him, she loves him.

So the writer weaves this really interesting depiction of their complex and fraught relationship.

Okay, and let's just check our understanding here.

So again, which of the three statements below are true? Great, well done, everyone.

That's B, C, and D are our true statements there.

Excellent work so far.

Okay, so what I would like us to do is just to summarise our understanding of the text.

So in a moment you will see some sentence starters and I would like you to create a summary of the text.

So, "The purpose of the text is to.

." "The writer describes.

." and finally, "In this letter, "the writer wants the reader to understand.

." So pause the video and we will feed back our answers in a moment.

Excellent work, well done.

So you may want to check over your work now and compare it to the examples here.

So, the purpose of the text is to speak directly to the son and a wider audience about the struggles of addiction.

The writer describes the challenges her son has faced and how it has impacted their relationship.

In this letter, the writer wants the reader to understand the dangers of drugs and the complexity of her relationship with her son.

Well done, I've seen some excellent work produced so far.

Okay, we are moving on to the next part of the lesson.

So now we have read our text.

I want us to start thinking about how we can plan a really good paragraph based on this text.

So we're first going to look at how we can create opening and closing sentences for well-structured paragraphs.

So we're gonna focus on the question, how does the mother feel towards her son? So I'm sure you've got lots of ideas already to answer that question.

And what we want to do now is to make sure we're creating an effective plan that can show and present our ideas clearly and coherently.

So we're going to use a single paragraph outline to support your planning.

And a single paragraph outline looks like this.

So we have our topic sentences and these introduce the main ideas in your paragraph.

Then in the box here are supporting details and this you can fill with information and ideas that you gather from the text.

They can be key quotes, but they can also be your own comments and thoughts.

So you can use this section just to make notes about the text and gather those supporting comments.

And then finally, we can plan a closing sentence.

So a closing sentence will conclude the arguments or main ideas in your paragraph.

So by the time you finish your single paragraph outline, you will have all of these things gathered to create an excellent, well-structured and coherent paragraph.

So as a reminder, what do you think or what do you remember is the role of a topic sentence? Great, so a topic sentence will introduce the main idea of your paragraph.

It will concisely summarise your ideas.

Now our next question to consider is, is the success criteria of a topic sentence the same? So is every topic sentence the same in every response you write? And actually, yep, you're correct.

Topic sentences can be adapted to fit the purpose of your writing.

So although they can be different, there are some elements that stay the same.

So a good topic sentence should: be clear and coherent, concisely summarise your main idea, and clearly reference the writer's name if this is available.

So in this case, actually, the letter is anonymous.

So we will use the Writer or Mother.

But if we know the writer's name, we should try and include that in our topic sentence.

So look at the four statements below and I'd like you to please find which of these does not belong in a topic sentence? That's right, in a topic sentence, you do not need to include detailed language analysis.

Well done, everyone, excellent.

Okay, so what we're gonna think about now is improving our topic sentences.

Okay, so have a little look at this one.

"The writer presents the son's difficulties "through clear descriptions and imagery." Now this is okay, but actually, this comment is very generic and doesn't really offer any specific comments on the text.

So with a topic sentence, we wanna make sure that it really links to the text that we are writing about.

And "the son's difficulties through clear descriptions," it's quite a vague comment and actually, it could be applied to any text.

So with our topic sentences, what we want to do is to make sure that they're really specific and really interesting.

So look at this one.

"The writer emphasises her son's struggles "through the physical description of him.

"More specifically, she demonstrates "how the addiction has impacted him physically "and left physical evidence of his problem." So we can see already how this topic sentence is much more relevant to the text and much more detailed.

So using things like "more specifically" clearly develops an idea and opens up your paragraph to write more in detail.

We've also got this sentence, "evidence of his problem." This sentence is relevant to the text and clearly explains what the writer is doing.

So from the outset, you are offering a really clear, interesting point about the text.

And then finally, this topic sentence clearly summarises what your paragraph is going to be about.

It introduces those key ideas.

So we know in this paragraph, you'll be talking about the physical description, how the addiction has impacted him.

So it's a really lovely way of improving your topic sentences.

Okay, so what I would like you to do now is I would like you to identify which topic sentence you think is better, Topic Sentence 1 or Topic Sentence 2.

And then I would like you to justify your answer by completing this sentence: "Topic Sentence is better because.

." You may want to pause the video to complete this task.

Looking forward to seeing what you've come up with.

Well done, everyone.

There was some really hard work happening there.

So let's feed back our answers and see what we have got.

So hopefully we all agree that Topic Sentence 2 was the best one and here are the reasons why.

So Topic Sentence 2 is better because it is relevant to the text and uses "more specifically" to develop the ideas.

And Topic Sentence 2 is better because it concisely summarises what is in the paragraph and introduces key ideas.

Now we are going to look at closing sentences, which come at the end of your paragraph.

So an effective closing sentence should: make reference to the original question, conclude the arguments and ideas in your paragraph, and use conclusive discourse markers.

So now we're going to look at an an example of a good closing sentence and how we can use different conclusive discourse markers.

So let's just read the sentence first.

"In conclusion, the writer is successful "in conveying how truly terrible the impact "of her son's addiction has been.

"Not only in the degradation of his appearance, "but the emotional turmoil created for his mother "and their turbulent relationship." So I want to draw your eye to where it says "in conclusion" and see how we can change this with different conclusive discourse markers.

So we could change it to "consequently," "finally," "thus," and "therefore." So all of these are great ways to finish our paragraphs.

So let's see how much you remember.

So true or false? A closing sentence should introduce a new idea.

Well done, everyone, that answer is obviously false.

Now we need to think about justifying our answers.

So a closing sentence should conclude the arguments and ideas in your paragraphs, or is it because a closing sentence shows that you can analyse and comment on language features? That's right, a closing sentence should conclude your arguments.

Well done, everyone, excellent work.

Now it's time to practise everything we have learned so far.

So you will notice in the single paragraph outline, there are all the supporting details you need to write your own topic and closing sentences.

Use the sentence starters to help you and write your own topic sentence and closing sentence.

Pause the video and I look forward to seeing what you have come up with.

Okay, fantastic stuff.

So, let's have a little look at an example and you can compare it to your own work.

So the topic sentence that we came up with here is: "The writer explores the connection "between the son's addiction and the degradation "of his physical appearance.

"More specifically, using the physical descriptions "to reflect the journey of the mother "and son's turbulent relationship." So you can see there in that topic sentence, that use of that phrase "more specifically" to really offer some extra detail.

Now let's look at the closing sentence.

"Therefore," so we've got our conclusive discourse marker.

"Therefore, the reader can clearly see the physical evidence "of addiction in the son's appearance." Well done, everyone, some really fantastic work.

So now we get to move on to the final part of our lesson, which is all about using and selecting judicious quotes.

So as we know, quotes are used in your responses to provide evidence and emphasise your ideas about a text.

So the best responses will choose quotes judiciously.

So what does this mean? This means the quotes will be well-selected and illuminate the point you are making.

It means they are chosen from the breadth of the text, so the whole of a text, not just the start or the end, but all of the text, and offer a range.

And they are analytically rich.

So what this means is that you've chosen a quote that you can say lots about.

It has lots of interesting features to comment on.

So look at the model paragraph.

This uses judicious quotes.

So look for the following.

So look how the quotes are short and embedded in the sentences.

The way they are spread throughout the paragraph show there is a range.

Look for the discourse markers.

This shows that the quotes are from the breadth of the text.

And finally, look for the use of terminology because this shows that the quotes have interesting features to comment on.

So let's have a little look at this model paragraph.

"The writer explores the son's journey "from childhood to adulthood and the impact of addiction.

"More specifically, the writers uses descriptions of her son "to emphasise her own feelings towards him.

"Initially, she describes the son "as the most beautiful and perfect thing, "using adjectives to convey the overwhelming feelings "of love at his birth.

"This is contrasted later on "when he is described as thin and gaunt "and carrying a pungent smell.

"The juxtaposition mirrors the journey the son has taken "with his addiction and highlights the writer's struggle "who at times has found it too difficult to bear.

"Towards the end of the extract, "the writer uses metaphorical language "to describe her feelings of hope, "which she doesn't want to rise "and keeps hidden to avoid them being smashed again.

"The contrast in these dynamic verbs shows "the continued struggles of both the son, "but more specifically, the mother's feelings." So this is a really good example of how judicious quotes can really emphasise and develop your paragraphs.

So let's see what you can remember.

I would like you please to have a look at the statements below and please select the three that demonstrate you have used quotes judiciously.

Which three show that you have used quotes judiciously? Great, so hopefully you all got A, B, and D.

Excellent, well done.

Okay, so now we're going to practise everything that we have looked at so far.

So I'm going to give you the topic sentence and the concluding sentence.

And what I would like you to do is add the supporting detail from the letter to the single paragraph outline.

So here is your topic sentence.

"The writer describes the son's appearance "to show the effects of his addiction.

"More specifically, to emphasise the change he's undergone." And then that concluding sentence is, "Therefore, the writer aims to create both feelings "of shock and sympathy at "how the addiction has impacted both mother and son." So you now need to go away and revisit the letter and find the supporting detail to really highlight and illuminate the points made in the topic sentence and the concluding sentence.

Pause the video and have a go, good luck.

Well done, that was a tough task.

So excellent work from everyone.

So I'm going to feed back some ideas now and you can compare to your own work.

You may even want to add some other details to the work you have already done.

So the quotes that I picked out, and again, you may have something different, are "smelled and felt like perfection" because this contrasts the later description.

I've also picked out "looked lost" because that shows that change really happening in that son's description and shows the kind of confusion and despair the son was feeling.

I've also picked out "clothes peppered with blood stains." That verb, that "peppered" really shows the extent of his addiction.

And then finally, "like a map." I've picked out that simile because it shows that physical effects, it represents his journey and we really get that imagery as a reader.

So these all are really good example of judicious quotes.

They are from the range of the text, they're short, precise, they are analytically rich.

If I was to come to write this up as a full paragraph, I would have lots of interesting things to say about it.

Wow, well done, everyone.

We have reached the end of the lesson, hooray! So let's just summarise everything we have learned in terms of planning a well-structured response.

So we have learned that a topic sentence should concisely outline the main ideas in your paragraphs.

That quotes should be judiciously chosen.

Closing sentences should use conclusive discourse markers and conclude the ideas in your paragraphs.

And finally, single paragraph outlines are a good way to plan your writing.

Excellent work, you've all worked incredibly hard today.

I look forward to seeing you all again really soon.

Thanks for joining me, bye!.