Lesson video

Hi, there.

I'm Mr. Buckingham.

And it's so good to see you here for today's lesson.

Today we're going to start planning a piece of writing based on the climax of Elle McNicoll's, "A Kind of Spark." As you know, a good plan is the first step towards producing a fantastic piece of writing.

So let's see if we can work together today to produce something really useful.

Let's get to work.

Today's lesson is called Planning the climax of "A Kind of Spark," including flashbacks from our unit called, A Kind of Spark Narrative Rating.

By the end of today's session, you'll have planned to write about Addie's speech from her perspective, incorporating third person flashbacks to the witch trials.

Now for this session, you will need to have access to the model narrative you can find in the additional materials for this lesson.

If you've got that with you, let's get going.

Here are her keywords for today's lesson.

The first person is the I or we perspective.

and the present tense shows the action is happening now.

A flashback is a jump to a time or event that happened earlier in the narrative.

And the third person is the he, she, it or they perspective.

And the past tense shows that the action happened before now.

Here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by planning our first person paragraphs and then we'll move on to planning our flashbacks.

And I'll show you in a moment, the structure we'll be using for the text we're going to plan overall.

So over the rest of this unit, we're gonna be writing part of the climax of "A Kind of Spark." And we've said that the climax of the story is at each final speech given at the village meeting, which persuades the village to build the memorial.

So we've already written a summarised version of Addie's speech which focuses on her key points and uses language, which is appropriate for a speech.

And we've also used drama to explore what Addie might be thinking and observing at different points in her speech.

So we're going to focus on three key parts of Addie's speech, as she waits to begin, as she begins to speak, and then as actually goes through her speech and is more and more persuasive and the audience gets on board with her, and then finally, as she finishes and wraps up her speech and returns to her seat.

So we've broken that into three main points there.

So can you match each passage that part of Addie's speech is going to link to? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Good job.

A says, "I clear my throat and look down at everyone.

I know I can do this." So here is Addie beginning to speak.

B says, "I sigh and step away from the microphone.

I really did it." So that must be as she finishes.

And then C says, "I see Mr. Macintosh stand up.

He introduces me and I get off my seat." That must be as she waits to begin.

So she's about to move towards the microphone and star his speech.

Well done for matching those up.

That shows us the three main points we're going to cover in our Addie's perspective of our climax.

That shows us the three main points we're going to cover.

And we're talking about Addie's perspective on her speech before, during and after.

So we're going to write Addie's speech, her reactions and her thoughts in the first person and in the present tense in role as Addie.

However, we're also going to include flashbacks in our narrative.

So during that speech we're going to intersperse it.

So we're going to drop in some flashbacks to the events that inspired Addie to begin with the events of the witch triumph.

So we've already explored Maggie's story and we're going to use that for the basis of our flashbacks.

And we did that using drama to think about key events for her, including her arrest and her confession.

So our flashbacks to Maggie's story are going to be written in the third person and in the past tense.

So to help you understand how that might work, I'd like you to now read the example model of text with flashbacks, which is similar to the one we are going to write or you can keep watching the video and I will read it to you there.

Here's our model narrative of the climax with flashbacks, "I sit on the edge of my seat, clenching my hands in my lap.

On my left, Nina is rolling and unrolling a glossy magazine.

On my right, Keedie doing her best to look calm and relaxed, but I can feel the energy emanating from her.

As Mr. Macintosh stands up, the room falls quiet and I feel a lump in my throat.

Can I really do this? Can I share my story with everyone here? He introduces me, but I barely hear him.

I'm looking down at my notes one last time, stumbling up the steps onto the stage, I look around at my family and friends.

Their faces are bright and encouraging.

Audrey, my best friend, Audrey, grins up at me and I feel my nerves begin to fade.

Finally, I look down at my hand where Maggie is written in clear blue ink.

Maggie woke with a start to a loud banging on her door.

'You cursed us,' came a shout from outside.

'Come out here you old crone and faced the law.

' What was going on? What was she being accused of? In confusion, she stumbled to the wooden door and opened it a crack.

Instantly she was pushed down to the ground.

A crowd of men had barged past her.

A man holding a flaming torch pointed at her shouting, 'Take the witch away.

' A witch? What on earth was happening? A strong violent hands lifted her off her feet.

She cried out in fear.

I clear my throat and look out to the expectant faces.

I can do this.

I can do it for Maggie.

Breathing deeply, I lean towards the microphone and begin.

'Hi, everyone,' I say, trying to give off a confidence I don't feel.

I'm Addie and I'm autistic.

Straight away I can see have their attention.

Pairs of eyes that were wandering the room are now locked on me.

'Because of that,' I continue, 'I see the world a bit differently to some people.

' I gulp knowing that I have to persuade them.

I have to make them understand.

'A long time ago, people like me might have been accused of witchcraft because of these differences.

Outta the corner of my eye, I see Mr. Macintosh looking down at his feet.

I grip my teeth.

We might have been locked up or put on trial or worse.

I glanced down at my hand again.

Maggie listened and bewilderment as the British men shouted all around her, 'Witch! Devil's wife! they leered.

She tried to argue, but it was useless.

How could she prove them wrong? They laughed at her wild grey hair.

They sneered at her ragged dirty clothes.

'You are the devil's wife and no mistake, just look at you,' said one pointing at her with a look of utter loathing.

Maggie hung her head.

How could she possibly argue against them? For hours for days, they refused to let her sleep, pushing her awake when her head nodded.

Finally she could take it no more.

'I confess,' she croaked.

'I confess.

' I know now that I've got 'em on my side.

Keedie was right, I had to make them understand why it was so important to remember.

"We can't forget these women and we owe them an apology,' I say confidently looking over at Mr. Macintosh.

I'm sure I see the hint of a smile, a real smile on his lips.

I let out a sigh, stepping away from the microphone.

Instantly a small sprinkling of applause rises up from the crowd.

As I rush back to my seat, more and more people begin to clap until the noise is much too loud.

But as Nina and Keedie give me quick, Addie length hugs, I know I've done Maggie proud." So looking at that model text, what structure can you see? I'd like to think about the perspective and the tense of each section.

What structure does it follow? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Good job.

I bet you spotted that it starts with a passage, a paragraph in the first person in the present tense, then we have a flashback, which is from the third person in the past tense to an event from Maggie's life, then we go back to the first person speaking as Addie in the present tense, then we have another flashback in the third person past tense to an event from Maggie, and then we go back to the first person present tense to hear Addie finishing off her speech.

Now you might also have noticed that there's a trigger for the flashbacks in this example.

Did you spot what that trigger was? Pause video and have a think.

Well done.

You're right.

The trigger is when Addie looks down at the name, Maggie, on her hand, which is what makes her think of Maggie's story in our idea here.

So we hear Addie's perspective, then she looks at her hand and sees Maggie's name and that triggers us to flashback to Maggie's story and she does it again and that happens again.

So the trigger is her seeing the name, Maggie, written on her hand.

And that's a really useful way of us introducing that flashback to our reader to show them, ah, this is why we are flashing back to Maggie's story at this precise moment, is because Addie's looking at that name on her hand.

And we can almost imagine Addie imagining that story as she speaks.

So that's gonna be a really useful way of us structuring our story.

So why would including flashbacks on narrative be effective and how does it add to the narrative? Pause the video and have a think.

That's a good idea.

So Andeep says, "It helps to show what inspired Addie in the first place, the stories of women like Maggie.

We can imagine Addie thinking about them as she speaks." So that helps us to show that these stories are what's the core of the whole thing of Addie that are what inspired her to begin this campaign in the first place.

Sam said this, "It will remind our reader of the connection Addie sees between herself and the witches and reminds them that people like Maggie were real people who suffered in the trials." So having the flashbacks helps our reader to think, ah, this was a real person that this was happening to.

And that's a really important part of the narrative as well.

So our own text of the climax of a kinder spark is going to follow a similar structure to the module we saw.

We're going to go first person, then flashback, first person, then flashback and finish in the first person.

So the first person sections will be pointing Addie's speech and her reactions and observations as she speaks.

And the flashbacks will be descriptions of what's happening to Maggie during the witch trials.

And we'll need that trigger for the flashbacks like we discussed.

So what three points of Maggie speech could the three first person paragraphs focus on? Think back to our drama tasks and how we split up our ideas there.

Pause video and have a think.

Well that's good thinking.

So the first person present tense paragraph for point one could be describing Addie waiting to be called.

For point two, it could be describing Addie beginning a speech and persuading more people.

And for point three, it could be Addie finishing a speech and sitting back down.

So that's a good way of chunking up Addie speech into three pieces that we can describe.

And by chunking it up in this way, we can describe her different feelings, her different observations, her different reactions and thoughts at these different points in her speech.

Because we know from our drama task that her thoughts and her observations change as she goes through these different phases of her speech.

That would be really helpful for us too.

Good job.

So thinking about these three possible points in Addie's speech, what mood might there be during each of these points? Post video and have a think.

Good thinking.

Well done.

So when she's waiting to be called to speak, maybe she's tense and nervous, but determined still.

As she begins her speech and persuades more people, she's determined to continue and that she's starting to feel more confident.

And then when she finishes her speech and sits back down, maybe she's feeling relieved and happy, but we know she's also feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the noise of all that clapping that people do.

Really well done for thinking about that mood and how it changes so carefully.

Good work.

So let's focus now on our first person paragraph.

We're going to plan those first.

Remember we're in role as Addie telling the reader what we're saying, what we're thinking, what we're observing as we speak in these different three points.

So we're going to include lots of details about Addie's perspective.

What is she doing? What's she's seeing around her? What's she thinking? And what's she feeling? And what questions is she asking herself? And because we're writing about Addie's speech, we're also gonna have to drop in piece of direct speech to show what she's saying, what actually is a speech she's making and we can use that summary speech we've written before to help us there.

And remember, she might also be reflecting on Maggie and the witch trials.

So she might mention Maggie and mention the witch trials in her own thoughts that we are writing.

So look at the first person sections of the model text now.

Can you see evidence of each of these features below? Pause the video and see what you can find.

Well done.

Good work.

For what's Addie doing, you might have seen clearing her throat, looking at her notes, looking at her hand.

For what she's seeing, she sees Nina rolling a magazine, she sees Audrey grinning.

For what she's thinking, we see have to make them understand, and I can do this.

For her feelings, we can see she's got a lump in her throat and at the end she says, she knows she's done Maggie proud.

For questions to herself she says, "Can I really do this? Can I share my story?" And for piece of direct speech, we've got lots of those.

Things like, "Hi, everyone," where she says, "A long time ago this happened" and "We can't forget this." So she's dropped in her speech all the way through those three paragraphs.

So let's do our first task this lesson.

We're going to start generating ideas from our first person paragraphs.

So for each of your three points in Addie's speech, you're going to talk about now each question from Addie's perspective.

So for instance, for point one before the speech, what are you doing? What are different people doing? And what can you see? What do you feel? What do you think? What are you saying? Which parts of your speech are you saying in this section, if any? And are you thinking of Maggie? And in what way? Remember you're going to have to do this for three points maybe before, during, and after however you choose to break that speech up.

I want you to think back to that jam work we did to help you answer these questions.

So just talking out loud, can you answer these questions for each of the three parts of Addie's speech? Pause the video and have a go.

Well done.

Really good thinking.

So here's an example of what you might have discuss for just one of your points.

Remember you'll have done three.

So for before the speech, maybe you've got, sitting on edge of seat, hands clenched.

That's what she's doing.

What she sees would be Nina rolling up a magazine and Mr. Macintosh getting up.

What's she feeling? "I feel a lump in my throat and my heart's racing.

And my thoughts, "Can I do this?" And then I've got for the speech, I've put nothing in this section because I'm gonna say she hasn't started the speech yet.

But in regards to Maggie, I've put think of Maggie and I know I need to do this for her.

So even before I begin my speech, I'm thinking back on Maggie.

And remember, you needs to have three of these discussions.

So hopefully you've completed three discussions to answer those questions we said.

So now let's write those notes for our plan.

We've already done a load the discussion so you're ready to write your notes.

So I want to choose the three points in Addie's speech, could be before, during, and after.

And for each one, write notes about what Addie does, feels, thinks, says, and sees.

Don't forget it says, we need that direct speech in there too.

So you're going to try and make all of the descriptions, build the mood that you're aiming for in each section.

And remember we're going to use the first person in the present tense as you saw me do there in my notes.

And you're going to remember to include a direct speech from Addie's speech spread across the three points.

Or you might like me not have direct speech in one of those points, but you need to try and make sure you're explaining the whole of Addie's speech across this plan.

And you might also want to include a trigger at the end of the first two points to a flashback.

You won't need one at the end of the third point 'cause that will be the end of the text.

So take your time with this to make sure you've got a really good plan for these first person paragraphs.

Making sure you cover all of these things, what Addie does, feels, things, says and sees at each of your three points.

So you have to have three sets of notes, one feature of these three points in Addie's speech.

Pause the video and have a go writing your notes.

Well done.

Good job.

So here's an example of the notes you might have made for just one point in your speech.

So I've done it for the end of Addie's speech and what happens afterwards? So I've put, I know I've got them now, they're understanding me.

Then I've got some direct speech coming.

My last piece of direct speech, We over to these women to remember them.

Then I said, well Addie sees, I see at Mr. Macintosh smile and Audrey punch the air.

Then what do I do? I smile and step down from the stage.

Then I hear clapping, then loud whooping and cheering and I see Nina and Keedie on their feet.

My thoughts are, I know I've done well.

I didn't know Maggie would be proud.

What do I do? I sit down and I cover my ears.

And finally, what happens to me is that Nina and Keedie hug me from either side.

So I've put in lots of details there about things Addie sees, things she hears, things she says as well, and also her feelings and thoughts.

Notice I've kept the first person, I've said, I and I've used the present tense.

I said, I know, and I see and I smile.

Hopefully you've actually the same for each of your three first person sections.

Good job.

So now we've planned our first person paragraphs.

We are ready to plan our flashbacks.

So plan the first person perspectives on three points in Addie's speech.

So we've got point one, point two and point three planned out.

We now need to plan two flashbacks to the past, which are going to be descriptions of what's happening to Maggie during the witch trials and they'll slot in here.

So after we've done our first piece of Addie's speech, we'll flashback to the first part of Maggie's story, after the second part of Addie's speech, we'll flashback to the second part of Maggie's story.

We won't have a third.

So we're going to finish with that first person conclusion to Addie's speech where she sees that applause, she sees everyone appreciating what she's just said.

So as you know, we've previously used some drama to explore the life of Maggie and we know that Maggie was a woman convicted of witchcraft during the witch trials.

So what did we imagine? Well, we imagined Maggie being bullied in her village perhaps for cursing a group of children who are teasing her.

Or you might come up with a different reason.

We imagined, some of us, a group of villagers, bursting into a house at night to accuse her of witchcraft and of being the devil's wife.

Some of us imagined a conversation with these people in which she might have denied being a witch.

And maybe we imagined her being on trial in front of the villages and finally breaking down and confessing to being a witch.

We've got a very sad emotional story for Maggie, which we know reflects the experience of lots of real people.

We need to treat it with a sensitivity.

We would expect that.

So which events that we imagine for Maggie might be the most appropriate to describe in our flashbacks? Remembering we've just got two flashbacks.

Pause the video and have a think, which events would you like to include in your flashbacks? Which would be the most appropriate to include there? Have a go.

Good thinking that done.

So Alex said this, "I think it would be good to show the moment when Maggie's being teased by the children in the streets and then curses them because this sets the scene for the story." So that would be one of Alex's flashbacks, couldn't it? Jim said this.

"I think I would choose the moment she's accused and the moment when she confesses because the will be the most dramatic moments in Maggie's story.

So Jim's thinking, I'll have my first flashback to when she's accused.

So maybe that's when the villagers burst into her house and then the moment she confesses as well.

Those would be two dramatic moments in Maggie's story.

It's up to you which two moments you decide to include in your flashbacks.

So look at the flashbacks now in the model text.

But I want to think, what do you notice about the language, the mood and the content? What is being talked about? What are we mentioning in these flashbacks? Pause the video and have a chat to the person next to you or a think on your own.

Well done.

Good job.

So you might notice they're written in the past tense and they're written in the third person.

We are not saying I, we are saying Maggie and the villagers.

We are saying about what they are doing.

We are not including ourselves in these paragraphs at all.

There's lots of direct speech both, from Maggie and the villagers, and there's also a description of what is happening as well.

And the mood in these is quite dark.

We know that it's a really unpleasant, nasty situation that's being described and that's really clear from the descriptions we've included.

So we want to include all of these features in our own flashbacks and if you want to do that, we need to include them in our plan.

So thinking about the events you'd like to describe in your flashback, what mood do you think you want to be setting in each of those? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Good job.

So Lucas said this, "When I describe the moment Maggie's bullied in the village, I want the mood to be tense but not too scary because nothing terrible has happened yet." So maybe it's just a few children who are being mean.

We don't want that to sound incredibly dramatic yet because it's gonna be something that builds up over time.

But Laura said this, "When I describe the moment the villagers burst into Maggie's house at night, I want the mood to be panicked and confused to reflect how Maggie would be feeling." So that's a much more dramatic event, isn't it? So we need the mood to reflect that.

Well done for your thoughts there.

So when you write these flashbacks, we want to include details about what happened to Maggie.

What did she do? What did other people do? And what dialogue was taking place between them? We also want to include what are Maggie's emotions and thoughts at different points.

Now we need to remember that we can show not tell these emotions.

That means we can't always say Maggie felt scared.

We could show it through what she does.

And because it's her third person flashback, we can't say what mag Maggie says she feels, but we can show her feelings by describing our actions and that's what we mean by show not tell.

So for instance, we could describe her sighing to show she's given up in those moments before she finally confesses.

So have a look now again at the model text.

Can you see any evidence of the content we've got below in the table? Pause the video and see what you can find.

Well done.

Really good job.

So evidence for what Maggie did, well, for instance, she worked with a start, she stumbled to the door and she cried out in fear.

What did other characters do? Well, they pushed her to the ground, they barged past her and they were holding a flaming torch.

What dialogue happened? Well there's lots of that isn't there? "Come out here," "Take the witch away," and "I confess" are all examples of dialogue speech.

And what was Maggie feeling and thinking? Well, we saw sentences like, "What on earth was happening? "Maggie hung her head." That's a show not tell, isn't it, to show her emotions.

So she's almost given up and how could she possibly argue? So we've got examples of all these different pieces of information that together set a brilliant picture for a reader of what's going on.

That's what we need to try and include in our own plans.

So let's start thinking about planning our flashbacks.

For each of your two flashback events that you've chosen, I want you to talk about these questions to describe Maggie's experience.

What did she do? What did other characters do? What dialogue took place and what was she feeling and thinking? Now I've just put there flashback one, Maggie's arrested.

I need to also do it for a second flashback event.

So answering all these questions for two of your chosen flashback events.

Pause the video and discuss with a partner.

Well done.

Good job.

So here's an example of what you might have discussed for just one of your points.

I've done here at my flashback two event, Maggie being tried.

So she listened to the shouts around her and shook her head in confusion.

That's what Maggie did.

What do other people do? They shook their fists, sneered at her.

What do they say? "You are the devil's wife," and, "I confess," there's direct speech from both sides there and her feelings and thoughts.

She knew it was no use and she hung her head.

That's showing a feeling, not telling a feeling.

So remember you've got two flashbacks to cover in the same way.

Really well done for your first thoughts there.

So our last task for this lesson, we're going to write the notes for our plan for our flashbacks.

So you're going to choose those two points from Maggie's story covering some of the following.

It could be her being bullied, her interactions with the other villages, her being accused or arrested and her being on trial and confessing.

You choose the two points you think work best and I want you to use each point of the focus of one of your flashback paragraphs that you're about to plan.

And for each one you're going to write notes about what happens to Maggie, what other characters do and how Maggie feels.

And try and make sure that you share the dialogue between the characters with the direct speech as well.

Remember, we're going to use the third person and the past tense and we want to try and keep this dark intense mood for the most dramatic events.

Suppose the video and have a go at writing your notes for the plan for these two flashback paragraphs.

Well done.

Fantastic job.

Here's an example of the notes you might have made for one of those flashback paragraphs.

Remember you'll have two of these.

So I'm doing mindful Maggie being bullied by the other villagers before she's arrested and accused.

So I started with what Maggie's doing.

She hobbled down the street carrying a basket.

How's she feeling? She's tired from the day's work.

Her thoughts? She knew she had lots to do at home and no one to help her.

What happens to her? What do other people do? A group of children rush around the corner and bumped into her her basket of food tumbled to the floor.

What do other people do? Children laughed and trod on food.

What does Maggie do? She scrambled to pick it up.

Then I've got some direct speech.

The children jeered, "Maggie, the witch." And then what does Maggie say? She shook her fist and said, "Get away from me.

Curse you all." And then the children rushed away laughing.

"We'll tell our parents." So I've got lots of details about what Maggie does, what other people do.

I've got information about what they both say and some hints at what Maggie's thinking and feeling as well.

Hopefully you managed to get some really detailed notes written for your two flashback paragraphs as well.

Really well done.

So summarise our learning in this lesson.

We know that we're writing our own version of part of the climax of a kindness spark covering Addie's successful speech.

We'll be writing in the first person in present tense and role as Addie to describe her thoughts, feelings, and observations as she speaks and will include flashbacks to Maggie's story in the time of the Scottish witch trials.

And these sections will be written in the third person and past tense.

And we've planned details to include in each paragraph of our text in order to prepare to write well.

Really well done for your effort in this lesson.

You should now have a really good plan ready to do some fantastic writing in the next lesson.

I'd love to see you there.

Goodbye.