Hello.

I'm Mrs. Smith.

Welcome back to this unit of work, Being safe: informed consent.

In this lesson, we will learn about what sexual coercion is and look at some examples.

We will also discuss how we can recognise if a relationship is becoming sexually coercive.

This lesson covers some content that might be a sensitive topic for you.

We therefore recommend checking with a trusted adult beforehand, or completing the lesson with a trusted adult nearby.

If you are ready, then let's begin.

For this lesson, you will need an exercise book or paper and a pen to write with.

If you need to pause the video now to collect this equipment, do that now.

Our agenda for today's lesson includes; looking at the key definitions of a sexual coercion.

Some examples of sexual coercion, and recognising the signs.

We will end the lesson with a reflection and exit quiz.

Our key words for today include consent.

An agreement by choice and having the freedom and capacity to make that choice.

Coercion.

Using force or threats.

And consensual, by mutual consent.

To start the lesson, let's have a look at a definition of sexual coercion.

Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened or forced in a non-physical way.

Coercion can make you think you owe sex to someone.

It might be from someone who has power over you, a teacher, a landlord, your boss.

But no person is ever required to have sex with someone.

For this activity, I would like you to divide your piece of paper into three.

You have abusive relationships, sexually coercive, and healthy relationship.

Please pause the video now and divide your page to these three headings.

So here are the 10 situations that I would like you to add to your table.

Place them under each of the headings.

There might be more than one answer for each heading.

Let's take number one as an example.

Making you feel guilty for spending time with your friends.

This would be placed under the abusive relationship column.

Do this now.

I would like you to now pause the video and add the rest of the statements to your three headings.

Press play when you're ready to resume.

Let us now compare what our tables look like.

All of these situations are considered to be abusive.

In a healthy relationship, someone shouldn't try to control you.

Healthy relationships are based on equality and trust and you should feel loved, safe, and free to be yourself.

Controlling behaviour in a relationship is a recognised form of abuse and it is called coercive control.

You should also have picked out which of these were sexually coercive.

These are all examples of sexual coercion.

Unwanted sexual activity through manipulation, force, or threats.

For this next part of the lesson, we will look at some examples of sexual coercion.

As you can see on the screen, here are some situations where sexual coercion might take place.

What I would like you to do is to write a list of what someone might say in these situations to try and use sexual coercion.

Pause the video now and write down some ideas on your piece of paper.

So let's now compare our ideas and what this might look like.

So someone wearing you down by asking for sex again and again might say, "If you really loved me, you'd do it." Or, "Well, it's my birthday.

You promised" Someone might also try to make you feel it's too late to say no by saying, "But you've already gotten me all worked up." Or, "You can't just make me stop." Another situation might include telling you that by not having sex, you will hurt the relationship.

"Everything's perfect.

Why would you want to ruin it?" Or "I'll break up with you If you don't have sex with me." Lying or threatening to tell rumours about you.

"Everyone thinks we already have, so you might as well." Or "I'll just tell everyone we did it anyway." Making promises.

"You know I have a lot of connections, "but I'll make it worth your while." In some examples, they might try to threaten family members or to ruin your career.

"I really respect your work here.

"I'd hate for something to change that." Or "I haven't decided who I'm giving bonuses to yet." And finally, there can be a situation of someone threatening to publicly reveal your sexual orientation with a sentence such as, "If you don't do this, "I will tell everyone that you're gay." These are all sadly examples of what to look for in sexually coercive behaviour.

For this next part of the lesson, we will look at recognising the signs of sexual coercion.

This is very important because sometimes can be very difficult to recognise the signs of when a consensual relationship becomes sexually coercive.

It can be very subtle and hard to notice especially if you trust the other person.

It is therefore very important for us to talk about the signs.

And they might include; outright threats such as threatening to dump you.

Emotional manipulation in order to get you to change your mind about having sex or doing anything else.

For example they might say, "Oh, I understand." But their body language is telling you something different.

They might stomp off or slam doors.

Can also be badgering someone.

Just using repeated requests for sex is also sexual coercion.

The relentless pestering can also happen in any relationship.

Next, guilt trips.

Guilt is a common coercive tactic.

Your feelings for someone can make you more vulnerable to guilt.

So for example, they might say, "I'm feeling so lonely.

"I really need you right now." And that will play with your emotions.

They might also try to make you feel bad about yourself.

They might try to attack your self-esteem or act as if they are doing you a favour by having sex with you.

Another example is insisting that you follow through.

Consenting to sex once does not mean that you have consented to any future events.

You can always withdraw your consent if you want to.

There can also be examples of over the top affection and compliments.

It is perfectly possible for someone to try to manipulate you into having sex with positive pressure, gifts and gestures or other types of affection.

They might take you to dinner at a fancy restaurant or send you flowers at work, or give you expensive gifts all with the expectation that you will reward their generosity with physical intimacy.

And finally not giving you a chance to say no.

Affirmative consent means yes is the only way to give consent.

Saying nothing does not mean you have given consent.

In some situations, you may not want to say yes but feel afraid to say no at the same time.

A respectful person would notice your body language that you feel uncomfortable and they'll take a moment to check that you are alright.

However, in a sexually coercive example, they would ignore the body language and go ahead anyway.

What I would like you to do next is to write down what do you think you could do in any of those situations? And also what you think you might say in any of those situations.

Pause the video now and complete this activity.

So what might you do in those situations? Well, you might speak up, leave, contact a friend or speak to an external agency.

And also on the screen for you are possible statements that you could make if you are feeling uncomfortable.

And that includes, "You must be mistaken.

I don't want to have sex with you." Sexual coercion is not your fault and never will be.

If you are feeling pressured to do something that you do not want to do, speak up or leave the situation.

It is better to risk a relationship ending or hurting someone's feeling than to do something that you do not want to do.

If the person trying to coerce you is in a position of power over you, It is best to leave the situation as quickly and safely as possible.

It might be difficult.

But if you can report it to the police or to someone in authority, you are taking steps to stop this from happening again.

Be clear and direct with the person trying to coerce you.

Tell the person how you feel and what you do not want to do.

If the person is not listening to you, leave the situation.

And if you or your family are in physical danger, try to get away and contact 999 if you are in immediate danger.

For your final task of this lesson, I would like you to pause the video and educate others.

Design a tweet, social media account or poster that highlights the information that people need to know about sexual coercion.

Pause the video now and press play when you're ready to resume.

Let us end the lesson and this unit of work with a reflection.

Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a non-physical way.

A healthy, supportive relationship is a happy relationship.

You should feel loved, safe, and free to be yourself.

It is sometimes difficult to recognise when a consensual relationship becomes sexually coercive.

But I hope you are not aware of some of the signs and know how you can support yourself and others if this situation was to occur.

Sexual coercion can be rare but it is important that we understand and know the signs just in case.

Thank you and well done for completing this unit of work.

I have been Mrs. Smith and I look forward to seeing some of your work on Twitter using the hashtag #LearnwithOak.

Thank you, goodbye.