Hello, and welcome to this unit which is all about intimate relationships, positivity and health.

And we're focusing in this first lesson on what is an intimate relationship? This lesson may well be sensitive to you.

It might be a lesson that you want to complete with a trusted adult nearby, or you may want to check in with them first before completing the lesson.

Let's begin.

So in this lesson, you will need something to write on, an exercise book or a piece of paper, and a pen, something to write with.

Today's lesson's agenda will begin to hopefully with the intro quiz that you should already have completed, and it will end with the exit quiz, which I will direct you towards.

The learning will consist of looking at the characteristics of healthy intimate relationships.

And we're going to define and recognise what is meant by the term consent.

So our keywords and terms for today's lesson.

Intimacy.

And intimacy is all about feelings of emotional closeness with somebody else.

People may be sexual in their intimate relationship or not.

Consent is about permission for something to happen.

For example, sexual intercourse.

It's an agreement to do something.

It's where both parties involved in an action are happy for that to go ahead and fully willing and understanding of that action, whatever that may be.

Before we go any further with the lesson, it's really important to clarify issues and definitions around consent.

So consent is defined in law as something that can only be given by somebody age 16 or older when it comes to sex.

Someone consents to vaginal, anal or oral penetration only if they agree by choice to that, and that they have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.

Consent to sexual activity might be given to one kind of sexual activity, but not to another, and it can be withdrawn at any time during that sexual activity.

Somebody might show non-verbally that they are not giving their sexual consent.

They might not say the words, but if they don't want to be hugged or touched, if they pull away, stop kissing, become unresponsive or freeze, stop speaking, or become quiet or nervous or frightened, then they are signs that that person is not giving their consent, and therefore sexual activity must stop.

So remember, it's very important to get consent for sexual activity every time you engage in it.

And not saying no doesn't mean that someone has given their consent.

There are many other ways of not consenting to something.

And there's a legal and ethical responsibility for you to look for signs that a partner is or is not consenting and you need to keep checking, because as we've said, consent can be withdrawn at any time.

There are other lessons within the Oak RSHE suite of lessons that talk about the impact of drugs and alcohol on somebody's ability to consent, and that's definitely worth looking into further if this is something that you are unsure about in any way.

So based on those key terms that we just looked at, here's a true or false question.

Being intimate with somebody means having sexual intercourse with them.

Is that true or is that false? Please point to the correct answer on your screen now.

Okay, shall we see if you're correct? It's false.

Well done if you pointed to false.

Intimacy might refer to sexual intercourse.

Lots of people, when they talk about being intimate with someone, they mean having sex or the sexual act, but it's important to know that intimacy can also refer to emotional closeness.

It doesn't just mean sex.

It can also refer to having that emotional bond with somebody else.

And that's really important that you understand intimacy can be seen in more than just a sexual way.

So on what basis? The first thing that I'm going to ask you to write down now is a response to this question.

Why do so many people place importance on emotional intimacy with others? That's a really difficult question.

It's a big question.

Let me go through that again.

Why do so many people place importance of having emotional intimacy with others? Why is it important to have that emotional bond with someone else according to many people? I'm going to ask you to pause the video for this question, because I think you're going to need a couple of minutes to think about it.

And then I'd like you to jot down your answer.

Bullet point response or sentences is absolutely fine.

And we'll go through some possible answers in a couple of minutes' time when you've had a chance to complete the task.

So pause the video now and press Play again when you've completed the task with the response to your question.

Thank you.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Let's have a look at some possible answers.

Human connection.

Having that human one-to-one connection with somebody else is a really valuable thing, and it gives a pleasant feeling it's a pleasant feeling or nice feeling to have a bond with somebody else and emotional closeness.

And this can be through friendship, not necessarily an intimate relationship or a boyfriend or girlfriend.

It's nice to feel loved and cared for and sharing, having somebody to share things with, common interests, your feelings, your opinions.

You may have elaborated further on those ideas, which is fantastic, or your ideas may be completely different to mine, which is fine, because this is a subjective question.

We're all going to have different opinions about it.

But it's an important one to think about.

We're now going to look at the characteristics of a healthy intimate relationship so we're going to do another task now.

I want you to consider which of these characteristics that you see in the table on the screen you would expect in a healthy intimate relationship.

So I would like you in a moment to pause the video, have a look at all of the items that you can see in the table, all of the different characteristics, and for you to then decide would that be something you'd see in a healthy intimate relationship between two people, or would that be a characteristic of an unhealthy relationship? Make a note of those that you think are characteristics of a healthy intimate relationship, and then resume the video and we'll go through the answers.

But with a challenge if you find that this comes naturally to you, try and add to the list any more characteristics of a healthy intimate relationship that you might think of in addition to this list.

Pause the video now.

Thank you for rejoining me.

On the screen now, you'll see the aspects of healthy intimate relationships from the table that you've been looking at to complete your task.

These aspects of a healthy intimate relationship actually are aspects of most types of relationship if they are to be healthy.

So family, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, mother, father, lots and lots of different relationships, if healthy, would have these elements being sustained.

Patience, caring, considerate, respectful, open and honest communication.

What if yours matched mine, and if you were able to add anything else to it? Having now thought about the characteristics of healthy intimate relationships, you can see on the screen now four different words.

Each of these words represents an aspect of a relationship.

One of them is not a feature of a healthy relationship.

Please point now to the word that is not a feature of a healthy relationship.

Thank you.

Let's have a look and see if you're correct.

Impatience.

Impatience is not a feature of a healthy intimate relationship.

In actual fact, impatience isn't healthy in any relationship.

Obviously we all get little bit impatient sometimes.

Sometimes we get a little bit naughty, we get a little bit angry.

Sometimes we want things to happen quickly compared to the fact that they're happening quite slowly.

But if your impatience makes you angry or if it's constant, or if you're in a relationship with somebody who is impatient with you constantly, or who wants to push the boundaries of that relationship, make it go faster or in a direction you're not comfortable with, then that level of impatience is most certainly unhealthy in a relationship.

Let's move the lesson on now to look at defining and recognising consent.

What is meant by the word consent? I want you to think of an example of when you have given your consent for something.

I'm going to give you an example from my own experience of a really simple example of consent.

Well, this hopefully might illustrate the point for you.

So I have a box of really, really nice crayons and marker crayons at school, and I lend those to other teachers sometimes if I'm in a good mood.

And I know that most of my colleagues will look after them, but occasionally I've lent them out and they'd come back to me not in such a good condition, or mixed up, et cetera.

So if a colleague asks me can they use my box of crayons in their lesson? And I've said, "Yes, no problem." That's me giving my consent for them to use my crayons.

If I say, "No, you can't use them." Then I'm not giving my consent.

Similarly, if they take them without asking me, they are presuming my consent.

I've still not given consent.

So a simple example then might help you come up with your own.

Please pause the video and write down your response now.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Let's have a look at the definition of consent.

Let's see if this matches your own definition and example.

So as we have already said, it's about giving permission or agreeing to something.

Now, consent applies to lots of different scenarios, but let's now put it in the context of a relationship.

It's important both sides fully consent to any act of physical intimacy.

That can be achieved through having a healthy discussion, through talking about it first.

So we're not just talking about the act of sex itself.

Even kissing, there needs to be consent.

Touching, there needs to be consent from both parties.

Now it's really important to state that sex is illegal before the age of 16 in the UK, and that's known as the age of consent.

And that law is based on the understanding that a person below 16 is more than likely not mature enough to make that decision and to give their consent to sex.

It's a law there to protect young people.

So it's really important that you remember the age of consent is 16 in the UK, and it is illegal, against the law, no matter how emotionally ready you might feel, it is illegal to have sex before the age of 16 in the UK.

So how might you recognise consent? I'd like you to consider how do we know if we have somebody's full consent? How do we know? How can we be sure? I want want you to give three examples of how we might communicate that consent has been given.

So you might want to complete this task by copying and completing my sentence here.

One way we can recognise consent is.

Another is.

And finally.

I'm going to ask you to pause the video to write down your response now.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Let's have a look at my possible answers and see if they match yours.

So you might be able to recognise consent through what somebody says.

For example, "I agree." And it's not just what somebody says, it's how they say it.

If they say "I agree," in a fearful way, or whilst being visibly upset or in a hesitant way, then the words might not actually match their true feelings, and that's something that's really important.

So body language is important here as well.

You can give consent obviously through speaking the words, but the body language should match that.

They should be open and happy as well as the words that are coming out of the mouth.

Body language and how somebody speaks their consent is also really, really important.

So the final task in today's lesson is a scenario.

It involves Izzy and John.

We will meet Izzy and John again in future lessons in this unit, because we're going to look at their relationship in its early stages and think about how they communicate, how they embark upon the complexities of first experiences together, et cetera.

So let's have a read-through.

Izzy has recently started dating John and both are really happy and enjoy each other's company.

Both are almost 16.

Both feel a bit down sometimes.

They've got difficult home life situations.

Izzy cares for a disabled mom John and his dad aren't getting along.

But both listen to one another and share their problems. Now they enjoy holding hands and kissing, but they've not have sex.

Izzy would like to take their relationship further when they are both 16.

John's really nervous about this, and he has told Izzy, but Izzy is happy to wait until John is ready, and she's told him that there's no rush.

So what I'd like you to do now, I would like you to identify at least, and possibly more, at least three positive aspects of John and Izzy's relationship.

Have a read through the scenario again while the video is paused and jot those three positive aspects down.

Pause the video now.

Thank you for rejoining me.

Let's have a look at my answers and see how they compare to yours.

I've got five different aspects of John and Izzy's relationship that I think are really positive.

Have you got the same? They're happy, they enjoy each other's company.

They listen to each other and share their troubles.

And they've not had sex yet, which is a positive, because that would be against the law if they had, as they're both still only 15.

John feels able to tell Izzy that he feels nervous about sex.

He's not afraid to do that or uncomfortable.

And Izzy's patient and happy to wait for John to be ready for sex after they're both 16.

So well done if you've got even one or two of those positive aspects.

Brilliant if you've got three, fantastic if you tried to even get more than three.

That's brilliant.

So onto our final reflection.

What are the benefits of having healthy intimate relationships? Think about everything that we've looked at today.

And this reflection is something for you to take with you, something to consider over the next few minutes, hours, weeks, and even years, because hopefully you will go on, if you choose to have intimate relationships, to have healthy, intimate relationships.

And to think about the benefits of a healthy relationship, over an unhealthy one is something to continue to consider as we go throughout our lives.

So well done for today's lesson.

I really hope you've enjoyed it and that you will continue with our future lessons in this unit.

Please can I ask you to complete today's exit quiz? I look forward to seeing you next time hopefully.

Thank you and goodbye.