Lesson video

Hello everyone.

It's a lovely see you today for a lesson on writing a comparative response on Worlds and Lives poetry.

My name's Dr.

Clayton.

I'll be guiding you through your learning journey today.

So today we're going to talk through some comparative plans and models.

We're going to build up to you writing response to the question.

Compare poets present migration in "On an afternoon train from Purley to Victoria, 1955" and one of poems for the Words and Lives anthology.

Now, you'll need your copy of the AQA Words and Lives anthology with you today.

So make sure you have that with you.

So if you're ready, grab your pen, laptop, whatever you use for this lesson, and let's get started.

So by the end of the lesson, you'll have created a written response which meet the success criteria.

So we have four words today we're going to focus on as our keywords.

They've identified in bold throughout the learning material.

And I'll try to point them out to you as well, so you can see them being used in context.

So our first keyword is "discourse marker." And you probably use them in your writing often without realizing it, because our word or phrase to link ideas and signpost the direction of your writing.

So for example, you might say "in conclusion," before you begin your conclusion, our second keyword is "comparative," and that means measured or judged by estimating the similarity or dissimilarity between one thing and another.

So we're going to think about we can create comparative arguments between poems in this lesson.

Our third keyword is "inference," and that means a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning.

So whenever we're analyzing a text, we're making inferences, because we're looking at the way writers use a certain word or an image, and we're reaching conclusion about their intentions through that.

Finally, our fourth key word is "topic sentence," and that's the sentence that usually comes the beginning of a paragraph and explains the focus or main idea of an analytical paragraph.

So, I'll just give you a moment to write down those key words and the definitions.

So pause the video and write them down now.

Fantastic, let's get started with the lesson.

So we have two learning cycles in our lesson today.

For our first learning cycle, we're going to consider comparative writing skills.

So how can you effectively write about the similarities and differences between poems and poet's intentions? To do that, we're going to focus on the question.

Compare poets present ideas about human interactions in "In a London Drawingroom," and one of the poems for the World's and Lives anthology.

We're gonna look at a plan for that question, as well as a model paragraph.

And you'll just see how you can effectively write a comparative paragraph.

Then for our second learning cycle, we're going to talk through what makes a comparative introduction, and then you're going to end the lesson by writing a comparative response to the question, compare our poets present migration on "An afternoon train from Purley to Victoria, 1955" and one of the poem from the Worlds and Lives anthology.

So we're gonna focus our attention of this learning cycle on how to write an effective comparative paragraph.

And to do that, we're going to look at some ideas and responses to the question.

Compare poets present ideas by human interactions in "In a London Drawingroom" and one of the poem from the Worlds and Lives anthology.

So just a quick reminder the "In a London Drawingroom" was written by George Eliot, and it explored the negative impact of industrialization on nature and people.

Now, when you're considering a comparative question, you need to pick a comparative poem that offers an overarching similarity, but also a nuanced difference.

So one of our Oak pupils, Laura, has looked at the question as she's decided she's going to compare "In a London Drawingroom" with Mundair's "Name Journeys." Now just a quick reminder that the speaker of "Name Journeys" is talking about their migration from India to the UK and the sense of isolation that came with it.

So let's talk through Laura's plan.

So a topic sentence is one of our key words and explains the focus or main idea of the analytical paragraph.

So Laura's considered both of the poems, and she said her focus is going to be on how both Mundair and Eliot create and use imagery of separation to reflect the sense of disconnection felt by the speakers.

So here, Laura's offered an overarching similarity between the poems, because she said they both used similar imagery to reflect a sense of separation and disconnection.

Now her supporting evidence, Laura said she's going to focus on the "discordant" from "Name Journeys." She's going to use that to reflect the speaker's experience of not fitting in.

She's also going to use the word "stumble" from "Name Journeys," to suggest the speaker was unbalanced and perhaps even felt uncomfortable in the new environment.

Then, she's gonna talk about the phrase "all closed" from "In a London Drawingroom" to suggest there are physical and emotional barriers between the people.

And finally, she's also going to focus on the quotation, "hurry on and look at the ground," to suggest the people are alienated and they feel disconnected from each other.

Now concluding sentence should offer a summary of the paragraph with a sharp focus on the writer's intentions.

So Laura here has said her concluding sentence is, "That Eliot may be critiquing the isolation caused by industrialization, while Mundair could be reflecting the loneliness of the migrant experience." So she's telling us the poets are using these images of separation to say different things about the human experience.

Now, it's always useful to create a plan like this before you begin writing, 'cause you should always keep in mind your answer is designed to convince the reader your interpretation is correct.

So you want to provide a cohesive and conclusive argument.

So now that we have our plan, we need to think about how we can convert it into a written paragraph.

Now, using sentence stems is something that can help you convert your plan to a written response.

So you might think about how you can use discourse markers.

Now discourse markers is one of our keywords.

It means a word or a phrase used to link ideas and signpost the direction of the writing.

So, we might use words such as "initially" to show the starting point of our argument.

We might use "furthermore" or "moreover" to show we're going to offer an expansion of our ideas.

We might use consequently and thus to discourse and effect between ideas.

And finally, we might use, "in conclusion," to show we're about to summarize our argument.

Now, because this is comparative response, we want to use comparative conjunctions to show the similarities and differences between ideas.

So you might use words such as "likewise" and "similarly" to show similarities between ideas.

You might use words such as, "on the other hand, contrastingly, however, or whereas" to show the difference between ideas.

We also want to use correlative conjunctions to join ideas together.

Some of these pairs such as "both/and, neither/nor, either/or, whether/or" in order to show those connections.

Finally, we also might use these sentence stems to show inference and analysis.

So we might say that something suggests, implies, or emphasizes something.

So for example, we might say the word "closed," just a separation.

We could use the use of X reveals or demonstrates.

So for example, we might say that Mundair's use of discordant reveals a sense of isolation the speaker felt.

We always want to bring ideas back to the writer's intention.

So you might use phrases to suggest the writer effectively conveys.

So for example, Eliot effectively conveys the sense of alienation the industrialization causes.

So Laura has used her sentence stems to write a comparative response.

We're gonna read through it now.

"Both Mundair and Eliot use imagery of separation to reflect the sense of disconnection felt by the speakers.

These are 'cab's, carriages, all closed' creates a sense of a barrier between the workers on the streets of London.

Furthermore, the speakers suggest that those on foot 'hurry on and look upon the ground' which implies that no one's trying to create connection with anybody else.

Eliot's poem can be read as a critique of the industrial revolution, and arguably the portrayal of London shows a disconnection the industrialization causes for people.

Similarly, in 'Name Journeys,' Mundair creates a sense of loneliness throughout the poem.

As a speaker counselor experience of migrating to the UK from India, the use of 'discordant' may reflect their experience of not fitting in.

Moreover, the speaker refers her name becoming a 'stumble' which potentially affects the sense of unbalanced speaker felt trying to fit in somewhere new.

In conclusion, Eliot's poem can be read as critiquing the isolation caused by industrialization and capitalism, while Mundair's poem can be read as a reflection of the loneliness of the migrant experience." Now we're going to go through the paragraph again, but this time we're going to deconstruct the first part of the paragraph, and you'll find a copy of this in the additional materials, so you can highlight it or make notes as we go if you'd like.

So Laura begins by saying, "Both Mundair and Eliot." So here Laura is using corelative conjunctions to make connections between the poets and their ideas.

So we know that both of the poets are considering ideas of separation and disconnection in their poems. Laura then use the phrases, "the use of cabs, carriages, all closed creates," and "the speakers suggest those on foot hurry on and look upon the ground, which implies" So here Laura's using those phrases to show she's making an inference, so she's reaching conclusion based on evidence.

Laura also use the discourse marker furthermore, to show she's going to extend her ideas about the sense of separation that Eliot creates by analyzing a second quotation.

So now I'd like you to have a go at deconstructing the second part of the paragraph yourself.

As I said, this is in the additional materials, so you might like to highlight or make notes as you go.

So, I'd like you to read through the second part of the paragraph, discuss the following questions.

Where is the comparative conjunction? So where is Laura making a specific comparison between the poems? Where is Laura using inference and analysis? So where is she using evidence from the poem to reach a conclusion? And where is Laura using a discourse marker? So where is Laura using a word or phrase to signpost the argument to the reader? Now if you're working through this with someone else, you might like to discuss your ideas with them.

And if you're working through this by yourself, you can just think about your ideas.

So pause the video and answer the questions now to deconstruct the paragraph.

Fantastic work, everyone.

Let's talk through the answers together.

So Laura begins the paragraph by saying "similarly," and that signals to us as the reader.

She's making a comparative point about the similarities between Eliot's "In a London Drawingroom" and Mundair's "Name Journeys." Laura also says, "The use of discordant may reflect," and the speaker refers her name becoming a stumble, which potentially reflects.

So here Laura is showing how she's using inference and analysis by analyzing quotations in order to reach conclusions about the text.

And finally, Laura used the discourse marker "moreover" to show she's going to analyze the second quotation to extend her argument.

She then says, "In conclusion" to signpost to the reader she's about to summarize her ideas.

Now for quick check for understanding.

What I'd like you to do is look over the table and think about which sentence stems are missing from the grid I showed you earlier.

So we have discourse markers, we have comparative conjunctions, and we have phrases showing inference and analysis.

So what are we missing? Pause the video and think about that now.

The correct answer is that we're missing correlative conjunctions to show the relationship between ideas.

So very well done if you got that right.

Now for a second check for understanding.

What I'd like to do is match the sentence stem with the purpose.

So why would you use "furthermore" in an answer? Why would we use "both and" in an answer? And why would you use the use of "reflects" in the answer? And your options are, discourse marker to signpost your argument, to show inference and analysis, and a correlative conjunction to show comparisons.

So pause the video and make your selections now.

The correct answers are that furthermore is a discourse marker used to signpost your argument.

The phrase "both and" is an example of a correlative conjunction to show comparisons.

And the use of "reflects" is used to show inference analysis.

So very well done if you've got those right.

So now we're going to take everything we've done in this learning cycle and bring it together to write a comparative paragraph using the single paragraph outline.

So, you're going to take the sentence stems and the model answer and use them to help you turn this plan into an analytical paragraph.

So, the topic sentence tells us the main focus of the paragraph is that both poets focus on humanity's disconnection from each other.

However, Mundair focuses on the disconnection created through migration, while Eliot used the image of alienation to critique the process of industrialization.

Within a full supporting details for our argument.

So, we have the quotation "glance unmarking at the passers by" from "In the London Drawingroom," suggests that no one in the poem is creating connections with each other and with a structural device of enjambment, which could reflect the relentless movement of people in the city and the alienation this causes.

From "Name Journeys," we have the quotation "wilderness," which depicts the speaker as a lonely isolated figure.

And we have the phrase "echo chamber," which suggests this sense of isolation is perhaps created, because minority voices are drowned out and the speaker is not being heard.

Our concluding sentence for this paragraph is, "Thus, Eliot is arguably critiquing how the process of urbanization and capitalism has removed people's ability to connect with each other while Mundair presents migration as an isolating and lonely process." So, I'd like you to use the sentence stems and the model to guide you and pause the video and write the comparative paragraph now.

Fantastic work, everyone.

It was great to see people looking back at the model for guidance, because that's why we give you model answers to look at.

They're designed to help you see how you can construct arguments and ideas, and to help you see certain phrases you might use in your own work.

So, I'd now like you to read back through your work and assess it by checking you have the following components.

So, do you have comparative topic sentence using conjunctions? Discourse markers to signpost your argument? Textual detail analyzed using effective sentence stems? And a closing sentence that concludes your response? So pause the video and assess your answer now.

Great work, everyone.

It was good to see people going back and making edits, because our first version of a paragraph is a first draft.

So we want to constantly be reading back through our work to improve it and enhance it.

Great work so far, everyone.

We're now to our second learning cycle.

We're going to deconstruct some comparative introductions, and then you are going to have a go at writing a comparative response.

So two of our Oak pupils, Sam and Jacob, have had a go answering the question.

Compare poets present ideas about human interactions "In a London Drawingroom"" and one other poem for the Worlds and Lives anthology.

And they've each written a comparative paragraph.

We're gonna read through the beginnings of their paragraphs.

I'd like you to tell me which students' approach their comparative response is more effective.

So the question is, compare how poets present ideas about human interactions "In a London Drawingroom" and one other poem from the Worlds and Lives anthology.

So Sam has written, "In 'In a London Drawingroom,' Eliot creates a sense of alienation between the people of London, the image of everyone glancing unmarking at the passes by is just that no one is looking to form a connection with anyone else.

In 'Name Journeys,' Mundair creates the impression of a speaker as a lonely isolated figure." And then Jacob wrote, "Both Eliot and Mundair focus on humanity's disconnection from each other.

The enjambment of Eliot's 'In a London Drawingroom' could reflect the relentless movement of the city and the alienation this causes.

However, while Mundair also creates imagery of separation, it arguably stems from the echo chamber in her poem." So, pause the video and consider which one you think is more effective.

Great work, everyone.

Now, hold onto those thoughts, because we're now going to deconstruct their answers to see which one is more effective.

So let's consider the topic sentence of Sam and Jacob's paragraphs.

So remember the topic sentence explains the focus of your paragraph.

We're going to think about which is more effective.

So Sam's topic sentence is, "'In a London Drawingroom,' Eliot creates a sense of alienation between the people of London." And Jacob's topic sentence is, "Both Eliot and Mundair focus on humanity's disconnection from each other." Now, when you're writing a comparative response, you must signpost your comparing two poems. So, while Sam's answer only refers to Eliot's "In a London Drawingroom," Jacob's answer use corelative conjunctions to signpost is going to compare Eliot's "In a London Drawingroom" with Mundair's "Name Journeys." So that's the more effective opening topic sentence to comparative response.

Now let's consider how they introduce their analysis of the second poem.

So Sam says, "In 'Name Journeys,' Mundair creates the impression of a speaker as a lonely isolated figure." While Jacob says, "However, while Mundair creates the imagery of separation, it arguably stems from the echo chamber in her poem." Now, when writing a comparative response, you must show you're bringing in a second poem to discuss a connected idea.

So, while Sam's answer doesn't use comparative conjunction, Jacob's does, to show the nuance differences between the poems. So that's the more effective way of introducing the second poem.

Now for a quick check for understanding.

So, is it true or false that Sam's comparative response was more effective than Jacob's comparative response? So pause the video and make a selection now.

Correct answer is false.

Jacob's comparative response was more effective than Sam's.

Now I'd like to justify that answer.

So did Jacob, A, use more sophisticated discourse markers and inferences than Sam? Or B, used comparative and correlative conjunction to show similarities and differences.

So pause, video and make a selection now.

The correct answer is B.

Jacob used comparative and correlative conjunction to show similarities and differences.

When you're writing a comparative essay, it's essential to show there's similarities and differences between the poems. Writing a really sophisticated answer about one poem only is not answering the question.

Now let's explore our Jacob continued his response.

So he said, "Both Eliot and Mundair focus on humanity's disconnection from each other.

The enjambment of Eliot's 'In a London Drawingroom' could reflect the relentless movement of the city and the alienation this causes.

However, while Mundair also creates imagery of separation, it arguably stems from the echo chamber in her poem.

Since this applies that minority voices, such as speakers, are drowned out.

Ultimately, the image of people passing by others and glancing unmarking that creates a sense of alienation in 'In a London Drawingroom' is echoed in the wilderness the speaker feels in 'Name Journeys.

' Thus both poems show it is us who causes feelings of isolation and loneliness in others." So notice how Jacob linked quotes from both poems within his paragraph.

So he's linked together the image of glancing and marking from "In a London Drawingroom" and the image of the wilderness the speaker felt in "Name Journeys" to show the comparative sense of isolation.

This is the clever way to signpost your comparison and look at nuanced similarities and differences.

When writing a comparative response, you should avoid writing everything you know about one poem and then everything about another poem in another paragraph, because this does not evidence comparison.

Instead, you should weave ideas about both poems from each paragraph.

So now for a quick check for understanding.

So when you're writing a comparative response, you should, A, deal with one poem at a time.

B, weave ideas about both poems into paragraphs, or C, always begin with a comparison of the structure and form of both poems. So pause the video and make a selection now.

Correct answer is B.

When you're writing a comparative response, you should weave ideas about both poems into paragraphs.

So very well done if you got that right.

Now for a second check for understanding.

So when writing about your second poem, it is useful to, A, launch straight into the analysis.

B, unpick the most sophisticated quote first, or C, introduce it with a comparative connective.

So pause the video and make a selection now.

The correct answer is C.

When about your second poem, it's useful to introduce it with a comparative connective to show the connections between the poems. So very well done if you got that right.

Fantastic work today, everyone.

We're now going to take everything we've done on the lesson and use it to write a comparative response to the question.

Compare how poet present migration in "On an afternoon train from Purley to Victoria, 1955" and one of the poem from the Worlds and Lives anthology.

So just a quick reminder that bearers on an afternoon train shows a speaker talking about their experience of migration with a stranger on the train, and they end up forming a connection because of that conversation.

So which of the poem might offer similarities but also nuanced differences? Remember to include the following, a comparative topic sentence that leads with big ideas, discourse markers that signpost your argument, discourse markers to signpost analysis, correlative/comparative conjunction to signpost comparisons, comparison of form and structure, and comparison of language.

So pause the video and write your response now.

Fantastic work, everyone.

Again, it was great to see people looking back over the models we've discussed in order to help them formulate their ideas and responses.

Now, I'd like you to read back through your work.

So read back through your work and see if you include the following, comparative topic sentence that leads with big ideas, discourse markers that signpost argument, discourse markers that signpost analysis, correlative/comparative conjunctions to signpost comparisons, comparison of form and structure, and a comparison of language.

So pause the video and read back through your work now to see if you included all of those things.

Now, we're going through the list.

One of our Oak pupils, Izzy, realized she hadn't compared form and structure.

So she's now going to go back and rewrite her work to include it.

So think back to anything you missed from that list.

Rewrite your answer to include any of the criteria you missed.

So pause the video and rewrite your answer now.

Amazing, everyone.

It was great to see people really thinking about how they can improve their answer to make it the most effective argument it could possibly be.

Fantastic work today, everyone.

Here's the summary of what we covered.

Topic sentences must be comparative when comparing texts.

Comparison should be made between ideas, intentions, themes, and messages.

Correlative and comparative conjunctions are a good way to signpost your comparative writing.

Within paragraphs, evidence can move back and forth between the two poems and be linked with connectives.

And drawing a direct comparison quotations should take place at least once across the essay.

You all did amazingly well today, everyone.

I really hope this lesson's helped you build your confidence in writing comparative responses.

Remember that the more you practice, the easier it'll become.

I hope to see you for another lesson soon.

Goodbye.