Hello, everyone.

It's a lovely to see you today for a lesson on writing a comparative response on "Worlds and Lives" poetry.

My name's Dr.

Clayton.

I'll be guiding you through your learning journey today.

So today we're going to talk through some comparative plans and models.

We're going to build up to you writing response to the question.

Compare how poets present migration in "On an Afternoon Train from Purley to Victoria, 1955" and one other poem for the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

Now, you'll need your copy of the AQA "Words and Lives" anthology with you today so make sure you have that with you.

So if you're ready, grab your pen, laptop, whatever you're using for this lesson and let's get started.

So by the end of the lesson, you'll have created a written response, which meets this success criteria.

So we have four words today we're going to focus on as our keywords.

They've identified in bold throughout the learning material and I'll try to point them out to you as well so you can see them being used in context.

So our first keyword is discourse marker and you probably use them in your writing often without realising it because our word or phrase to link ideas and signpost the direction of your writing.

So for example, you might say in conclusion, before you begin your conclusion.

Our second keyword is comparative and that means measured or judged by estimating the similarity or dissimilarity between one thing and another.

So we're going to think about how we can create comparative arguments between poems in this lesson.

Our third keyword is inference and that means a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning.

So whenever we're analysing a text, we're making inferences because we're looking at the way writers use a certain word or an image and we're reaching a conclusion about their intentions through that.

Finally, our fourth keyword is topic sentence and that's the sentence that usually comes the beginning of a paragraph and explains the focus or main idea of an analytical paragraph.

So, I'll just give you a moment to write down those keywords and the definitions.

So pause the video and write them down now.

Fantastic.

Let's get started with the lesson.

So we have two learning cycles in our lesson today.

For our first learning cycle, we're going to consider comparative writing skills.

So how can you effectively write about the similarities and differences between poems and poets' intentions? To do that, we're going to focus on the question.

Compare how poets present ideas about human interactions in "In a London Drawingroom" and one other poem for the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

We're gonna look at a plan for that question as well as a model paragraph and you'll just see how you can effectively write a comparative paragraph.

Then for our second learning cycle, we're going to talk through what makes a comparative introduction and then you're going to end the lesson by writing a comparative response to the question.

Compare how poets present migration in "On an Afternoon Train from Purley to Victoria, 1955" and one other poem from the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

So we're gonna focus our attention in this learning cycle on how to write an effective comparative paragraph.

And to do that, we're going to look at some ideas and responses to the question.

Compare how poets present ideas about human interactions in "In a London Drawingroom" and one other poem from the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

So just a quick reminder, the "In a London Drawingroom" was written by George Eliot and explored the negative impact of industrialization on nature and people.

Now, when you're considering a comparative question, you need to pick a comparative poem that offers an overarching similarity but also a nuanced difference.

So one of our Oak pupils, Laura, has looked at the question and she has decided she's going to compare "In a London Drawingroom" with Mundair's "Name Journeys." Now, just a quick reminder that the speaker of "Name Journeys" is talking about their migration from India to the UK and the sense of isolation that came with it.

So let's talk through Laura's plan.

So a topic sentence is one of our key words and explains the focus or main idea of the analytical paragraph.

So Laura's considered both of the poems as she said her focus is going to be on how both Mundair and Eliot create and use imagery of separation to reflect the sense of disconnection felt by the speakers.

So here, Laura's offered an overarching similarity between the poems because she said they both use similar imagery to reflect a sense of separation and disconnection.

Now for supporting evidence.

Laura said she's going to focus on the quote "discordant" from "Name Journeys." And she's going to use that to reflect the speaker's experience of not fitting in.

She's also going to use the word stumble from "Name Journeys," does just the speaker was unbalanced and perhaps even felt uncomfortable in the new environment.

Then she's gonna talk about the phrase all closed from "In a London Drawingroom" to suggest there are physical and emotional barriers between the people.

And finally, she's also going to focus on the quotation, "hurry on and look at the ground" to suggest the people are alienated and they feel disconnected from each other.

Now, concluding sentence should offer a summary of the paragraph with a sharp focus on the writer's intentions.

So Laura here said her concluding sentences that Eliot may be critiquing the isolation caused by industrialization while Mundair could be reflecting the loneliness of the migrant experience.

So she's telling us the poets are using these images of separation to say different things about the human experience.

Now, it's always useful to create a plan like this before you begin writing because you should always keep in mind your answer is designed to convince the reader your interpretation is correct.

So you want to provide a cohesive and conclusive argument.

So now that we have our plan, we need to think about how we can convert it into a written paragraph.

Now, using sentence stems is something that can help you convert your plan to a written response.

So you might think about how you can use discourse markers.

Now, discourse markers is one of our key words.

It means a word or a phrase used to link ideas and signpost the direction of the writing.

So, we might use words such as initially to show the starting point of our argument.

We might use furthermore or moreover to show we're going to offer an expansion of our ideas.

We might use consequently and thus to show the cause and effect between ideas.

And finally, we might use in conclusion to show we're about to summarise our argument.

Now, because this is comparative response, we want to use comparative conjunctions to show the similarities and differences between ideas.

So you might use words such as likewise and similarly to show similarities between ideas.

You might use words such as on the other hand, contrastingly, however, whereas to show the difference between ideas.

We also want to use correlative conjunctions to join ideas together some of these pairs such as both and, neither nor, either or, whether or in order to show those connections.

Finally, we also might use these sentence stems to show inference and analysis.

So we might say that something suggests, implies, or emphasises something.

So for example, we might say the word closed suggest a separation.

We could use the use of X reveals or demonstrates.

So for example, we might say that Mundair's use of discordant reveals a sense of isolation the speaker felt.

We always want to bring ideas back to the writer's intention.

So you might use phrases to suggest the writer effectively conveys.

So for example, Eliot effectively conveys the sense of alienation the industrialization causes.

So Laura has used the sentence stems to write a comparative response and we're gonna read through it now.

"Both Mundair and Eliot use imagery of separation to reflect the sense of disconnection felt by the speakers.

The use of 'cabs, carriages/All closed' creates a sense of a barrier between the workers on the streets of London.

Furthermore, the speakers suggest that those on foot 'hurry on and look upon the ground,' which implies that no one's trying to create connection with anybody else.

Eliot's per can be read as a critique of the industrial revolution, and arguably the portrayal of London shows a disconnection the industrialization causes for people." Similarly, in "Name Journeys," Mundair creates a sense of loneliness throughout the poem as the speaker accounts their experience of migrating to the UK from India.

The use of discordant may reflect their experience of not fitting in.

Moreover, the speaker to refers her name becoming a stumble, which potentially reflects the sense of unbalance the speaker felt trying to fit in somewhere new.

In conclusion, Eliot's poem can be read as critiquing the isolation caused by industrialization and capitalism while Mundair's poem can be read as a reflection of the loneliness of the migrant experience.

Now we're going to go through the paragraph again but this time we're going to deconstruct the first part of the paragraph and you'll find a copy of this in the additional materials so you can highlight it or make notes as we go if you'd like.

So, Laura begins by saying, "Both Mundair and Eliot." So here, Laura is using correlative conjunctions to make connections between the poets and their ideas.

So we know that both of the poets are considering ideas of separation and disconnection in their poems. Laura then use the phrases, "The use of 'cabs, carriages/All closed' creates," and, "the speakers suggest those on foot 'hurry on and look upon the ground' which implies." So here Laura's using those phrases to show she's making an inference, so she's reaching conclusion based on evidence.

Laura also used the discourse marker furthermore, to show she's going to extend her ideas about the sense of separation that Eliot creates by analysing a second quotation.

So now I'd like you to have a go deconstructing the second part of the paragraph yourself.

As I said, this is in the additional materials, so you might like to highlight or make notes as you go.

So, I'd like you to read through the second part of the paragraph, discuss the following questions.

Where is the comparative conjunction? So where is Laura making a specific comparison between the poems? Where is Laura using inference and analysis? So where is she using evidence from the poem to reach a conclusion? And where is Laura using a discourse marker? So where is Laura using a word or phrase to signpost the argument to the reader? Now if you're working through this with someone else, you might like to discuss your ideas with them.

And if you're working through this by yourself you can just think about your ideas.

So pause the video and answer the questions now to deconstruct the paragraph.

Fantastic work, everyone.

Let's talk through the answers together.

So Laura begins the paragraph by saying similarly and that signals to us as the reader, she's making a comparative point about the similarities between Eliot's "In a London Drawingroom" and Mundair's "Name Journeys." Laura also says, "The use of discordant may reflect," and, "The speaker refers her name becoming a stumble which potentially reflects." So here, Laura is showing how she's using inference and analysis by analysing quotations in order to reach conclusions about the text.

And finally, Laura uses the discourse marker moreover to show she's going to analyse the second quotation to extend her argument.

She then says, "In conclusion" to signpost to the reader she's about to summarise her ideas.

Now for quick check for understanding.

What I'd like to do is look over the table and think about which sentence stems are missing from the grid I showed you earlier.

So we have discourse markers, we have comparative conjunctions, and we have phrases to show inference and analysis.

So what are we missing? Pause the video and think about that now.

The correct answer is that we're missing correlative conjunctions to show the relationship between ideas.

So very well done if you got that right.

Now for a second check for understanding.

What I'd like to do is match the sentence stem with the purpose.

So why would you use furthermore in an answer? Why would we use both and in an answer? And why would you use the use of reflects in the answer? And your options are discourse marker to signpost your argument, to show inference and analysis, and a correlative conjunction to show comparisons.

So pause the video and make your selections now.

The correct answers are that furthermore is a discourse marker used to signpost your argument.

The phrase both and is an example of a correlative conjunction to show comparisons.

And the use of reflects is used to show inference and analysis.

So very well done if you've got those right.

So now we're going to take everything we've done in this learning cycle and bring it together to write a comparative paragraph using the single paragraph outline.

So, you're going to take the sentence stems and the model answer and use them to help you turn this plan into an analytical paragraph.

So, the topic sentence tells us the main focus of the paragraph is that both poets focus on humanity's disconnection from each other.

However, Mundair focuses on the disconnection created through migration while Eliot used the image of alienation to critique the process of industrialization.

We're gonna force supporting details for our argument.

So, we have the quotation "glance unmarking at the passers by" from "In a London Drawingroom" it's just that no one in the poem is creating connections with each other.

And with the structural device of enjambment which could reflect the relentless movement of people in the city and the alienation this causes.

From "Name Journeys" we have the quotation "wilderness," which depicts the speaker as a lonely isolated figure and we have the phrase "echo chamber," which suggests this sense of isolation is perhaps created because minority voices are drowned out and the speaker is not being heard.

Our concluding sentence for this paragraph is thus Eliot is arguably critiquing how the process of urbanisation and capitalism has removed people's ability to connect with each other while Mundair presents migration as an isolating and lonely process.

So, I'd I could to use the sentence stems and the model to guide you and pause the video and write the comparative paragraph now.

Fantastic work, everyone.

It was great to see people looking back at the model for guidance because that's why we give you model answers to look at.

They're designed to help you see how you can construct arguments and ideas and to help you see certain phrases you might use in your own work.

So, I'd now like you to read back through your work and assess it by checking you have the following components.

So, do you have comparative topic sentence using conjunctions, discourse markers to signpost your argument, textual detail analysed using effective sentence stems, and a closing sentence that concludes your response? So pause the video and assess your answer now.

Great work, everyone.

It was good to see people going back and making edits because our first version of a paragraph is a first draught, so we want to constantly be reading back through our work to improve it and enhance it.

Great work so far, everyone.

We're now to our second learning cycle where we're going to deconstruct some comparative introductions and then you're going to have a go at writing a comparative response.

So two of our Oak pupils, Sam and Jacob, have had a go at answering the question.

Compare how poets present ideas about human interactions in "In a London Drawingroom" and one other poem from the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

And they've each written a comparative paragraph.

We're gonna read through the beginnings of their paragraphs.

I'd like you to tell me which student's approach the comparative response is more effective.

So the question is compare how poets present ideas about human interactions in "In a London Drawingroom" and one other poem from the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

So Sam has written, "'In a London Drawingroom,' Eliot creates a sense of alienation between the people of London.

The image of everyone 'glancing unmarking at the passers by' suggests that no one is looking to form a connection with anyone else.

In 'Name Journeys,' Mundair creates the impression of a speaker as a lonely, isolated figure." And then Jacob wrote, "Both Eliot and Mundair focus on humanity's disconnection from each other.

The enjambment of Eliot's 'In a London Drawingroom' could reflect the relentless movement of the city and the alienation is causes.

However, while Mundair also creates imagery of separation, it arguably stems from the 'echo chamber' in her poem." So, pause the video and consider which one you think is more effective.

Great work, everyone.

Now, hold onto those thoughts because we're now going to deconstruct their answers to see which one is more effective.

So let's consider the topic sentence of Sam and Jacob's paragraphs.

So remember, the topic sentence explains the focus of your paragraph.

We're going to think about which is more effective.

So Sam's topic sentences, "'In a London Drawingroom,' Eliot creates a sense of alienation between the people of London." And Jacob's topic sentence is "Both Eliot and Mundair focus on humanity's disconnection from each other." Now, when you're writing a comparative response, you must signpost your comparing two poems. So, while Sam's answer only refers to Eliot's "In a London Drawingroom," Jacob's answer use corelative conjunctions to signpost going to compare Eliot's "In a London Drawingroom" with Mundair's "Name Journeys." So that's the more effective opening topic sentence to a comparative response.

Now let's consider how they introduce their analysis of the second poem.

So Sam says, "In 'Name Journeys,' Mundair creates the impression of a speaker as a lonely, isolated figure." While Jacob says, "However, while Mundair creates the imagery of separation, it arguably stems from the 'echo chamber' in her poem." Now, when writing a comparative response, you must show you're bringing in a second poem to discuss a connected idea.

So, while Sam's answer doesn't use comparative conjunction, Jacob's does now to show the nuance differences between the poems. So that's the more effective way of introducing the second poem.

Now for a quick check for understanding.

So, is it true or false that Sam's comparative response was more effective than Jacob's comparative response? So pause the video and make a selection now.

Quick answer is false.

Jacob's comparative response was more effective than Sam's.

Now I'd like you to justify that answer.

So did Jacob A, use more sophisticated discourse markers and inferences than Sam or B, used comparative and correlative conjunctions to show similarities and differences? So pause, video, and make a selection now.

The correct answer is B, Jacob used comparative and correlative conjunction to show similarities and differences.

When you're writing a comparative essay, it's essential to show the similarities and differences between the poems. Writing a really sophisticated answer about one poem only is not answering the question.

Now let's explore how Jacob continued his response.

So he said, "Both Eliot and Mundair focus on humanity's disconnection from each other.

The enjambment of Eliot's 'In a London Drawingroom' could reflect the relentless movement of the city and the alienation this causes.

However, while Mundair also creates imagery of separation, it arguably stems from the 'echo chamber' in her poem since this implies that minority voices, such as speaker's, are drowned out.

Ultimately the image of people passing by others and 'glancing unmarking' that creates a sense of alienation in 'In a London Drawingroom' is echoed in the 'wilderness' that the speaker feels in 'Name Journeys.

' Thus both poems show it is us who causes feelings of isolation and loneliness in others." So notice how Jacob linked quotes from both poems within his paragraph.

So he's linked together the image of glancing unmarking from "In a London Drawingroom" and the image of the wilderness the speaker felt in "Name Journeys" to show the comparative sense of isolation.

This is a clever way to signpost your comparison and look at nuanced similarities and differences.

When writing a comparative response, you should avoid writing everything you know about one poem and then everything about another poem in another paragraph, because this does not evidence comparison.

Instead, you should weave ideas about both poems throughout each paragraph.

So now for a quick check for understanding.

So when you're writing a comparative response, you should A, deal with one poem at a time.

B, weave ideas about both poems into paragraphs.

Or C, always begin with a comparison of the structure and form of both poems. So pause the video and make a selection now.

Correct answer is B.

When you're writing a comparative response you should weave ideas about both poems into paragraphs.

So very well done if you got that right.

Now for a second check for understanding.

So, when writing about your second poem, it's useful to A, launch straight into the analysis, B, unpick the most sophisticated quote first, or C, introduce it with a comparative connective? So pause the video and make a selection now.

The correct answer is C.

When writing about your second poem, it's useful to introduce it with a comparative connective to show the connections between the poems. So very well done if you got that right.

Fantastic work today, everyone.

We're now going to take everything we've done on the lesson and use it to write a comparative response to the question: compare how poets present migration in "On an Afternoon Train from Purley to Victoria, 1955" and one other poem from the "Worlds and Lives" anthology.

So, just a quick reminder that Berry's "On an Afternoon Train" shows a speaker talking about their experience of migration with a stranger on the train and they end up forming a connection because of that conversation.

So, which of the poem might offer similarities but also nuanced differences? Remember to include the following, a comparative topic sentence that leads with big ideas, discourse markers that signpost your argument, discourse markers to signpost analysis, correlative and comparative conjunction to signpost comparisons, comparison of form and structure, and comparison of language.

So pause the video and write your response now.

Fantastic work, everyone.

Again, it was great to see people looking back over the models we've discussed in order to help them formulate their ideas and responses.

Now, I'd like you to read back through your work.

So, read back through your work and see if you've included the following.

Comparative topic sentence that leads with big ideas, discourse markers that signpost argument, discourse markers to signpost analysis, correlative and comparative conjunctions to signpost comparisons, comparison of form and structure, and a comparison of language.

So pause the video and read back through our work now to see if you included all of those things.

Now, when going through the list, one of our Oak pupils, Izzy, realised she hadn't compared form and structure.

So, she's now going to go back and rewrite her work to include it.

So, think back to anything you missed from that list.

Rewrite your answer to include any of the criteria you missed.

So pause the video and rewrite your answer now.

Amazing work, everyone.

It was great to see people really thinking about how they can improve their answer to make it the most effective argument it could possibly be.

Fantastic work today, everyone.

Here's the summary of what we covered.

Topic sentences must be comparative when comparing texts.

Comparisons should be made between ideas, intentions, themes, and messages.

Correlative and comparative conjunctions are a good way to signpost your comparative writing.

Within paragraphs, evidence can move back and forth between the two poems and be linked with connectives.

And drawing a direct comparison of quotations should take place at least once across the essay.

You all did amazing well today, everyone.

I really hope this lesson has helped you build your confidence in writing comparative responses.

And remember that the more you practise, the easier it'll become.

I hope to see you for another lesson soon.

Goodbye.