Hello.

My name is Ms. Grant.

I'm so glad you've decided to learn with me.

Today, we're in the unit: Myths, legends, and stories that inspire.

Today, we're gonna write a full descriptive piece, a full descriptive piece inspired by a painting, and we're gonna focus on, well, how can I make the most of small details in my writing? What's the purpose of them? How can I develop them so that they're really engaging descriptions and they really have purpose in my writing? And we're also gonna think about the structure of your work.

I cannot wait to hear all of your fantastic ideas.

I'm gonna be your support and guide as we work through today's lesson together.

Let's get started.

So by the end of today's lesson, you're going to have written a well-structured and developed piece of descriptive writing.

I cannot wait to hear all of your descriptive writing pieces to see what you focus on in the painting that we're going to use as our prompt, as our inspiration.

And we're really gonna focus today on what does it mean to develop small details in descriptive writing, why might we do that, and what does it look like to structure a piece of descriptive writing so it doesn't just trail off at the end, but actually has a sense of finality and a real sense of structure.

There are some key words which we're going to rely on today.

They're gonna help us achieve our objective.

If you'd like to spend a little bit of time with these key words, reading through them or noting them down, then pause the video now and you can spend some time with them.

Otherwise, they will be referenced throughout today's lesson and you'll have a real handle on them by the time we get to the end of learning cycle two.

Our lesson outline for today, the first thing we're gonna do is develop the detail of paragraphs one to three.

So in learning cycle one, we'll write paragraphs one to three.

And then in our second learning cycle, we're going to really consider what does it mean to link the first and final paragraphs? And that's how we're gonna achieve a really nice sense of structure.

Let's start off with developing the detail of paragraphs one to three.

So this painting depicts the "Execution of Lady Jane Grey," who was Queen of England for just nine days in 1553.

And this is the painting that we're gonna use as our inspiration today as we do our descriptive writing.

So this is a true story.

Lady Jane Grey was Queen of England for nine days in 1553.

The painting was painted many centuries later.

It was inspired by Lady Jane Grey and her execution.

I guess it's such an inspiring story because it's quite a strange story, the idea of being monarch for just nine days.

And also the fact that Lady Jane Grey was executed when she was very young.

So we'll learn a little bit more about this painting now before we use it as our inspiration.

So this painting depicts the "Execution of Lady Jane Grey".

She was Queen of England for just nine days in 1553.

King Edward VI nominated her to be Queen of England just before he died.

But Lady Jane Grey lacked support and she was deposed, removed from power by Queen Mary I.

Lady Jane Grey was accused of treason by Mary I and executed in November 1553 when she was just 17 years old.

Now, these are her ladies in waiting, the two figures in the left-hand side of the painting.

This man works in the Tower of London, where Lady Jane Grey was imprisoned.

He helped her find the executioner's block after she was blindfolded.

So you can see him guiding her towards the executioner's block as the central figure in the painting.

And then this is the executioner.

He asked Lady Jane Grey to forgive him, which she did.

And Lady Jane Grey's final words, her last words were, "Lord, into thy hands I commend my spirit." So a little bit more contextual detail, a little bit of knowledge there about the painting, which is gonna help us develop our ideas for paragraphs one to three.

Now today, you're going to write a piece of descriptive writing inspired by this painting using a third person omniscient narrative voice.

Now that phrase, third person omniscient, that is one of our key phrases for today's lesson.

And this means you're gonna be using the pronouns he, she, they, it, rather than I.

You are not going to be a character in your piece of descriptive writing.

You will use he, she, they, it, to describe the characters that you want to focus on, or you might use their names if you come up with names for individuals in the painting.

Omniscient means you are all knowing.

So you are gonna know all the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of every character in this painting.

Now, if you're writing in first person, you'll be using I, you'd only know your own experiences, but in this case, you're using third person narrative voice.

So you're gonna know everyone's experiences.

Now, Izzy uses single paragraph outlines to plan each paragraph, and she's going to plan four paragraphs.

Now the first thing she does is she considers the topic sentence of each paragraph.

Now that topic sentence will introduce the main ideas in your paragraph, and Izzy's gonna think, well, which character do I want to focus on in each? And she's gonna signal that in her topic sentence.

Then we've got the supporting details.

These are the ideas that you will use in your writing along with key vocabulary.

And this is gonna be in note four.

And then you'll concluding sentence.

This will conclude the main ideas in your paragraph.

And again, Izzy's gonna write that in a full sentence.

So single paragraph outlines are a great way to plan a piece of descriptive writing 'cause you know the paragraph's focus, you can develop those details, which you can then rely on when you come to writing your paragraph.

And then of course, you've got your concluding sentence to bring your paragraph to a close.

Now, here is Izzy's first single paragraph outline.

So she writes, "Lucy rested her head against the wall, unable to look at the sumptuous dress of her mistress crushed on her lap." So Izzy has decided to focus on the ladies in waiting in her first paragraph, and she's decided to call one of them Lucy.

Now she's got her first sentence and then she's going to develop the details.

She's got the idea that it's gonna be "a loose thread, crimson, which she twists around her finger." She's gonna remember seeing Jane wearing the gown.

She's using J.

to Jane.

Remember, you can write your supporting details in note form.

And then the "dress is cold and unmoving, corpse-like in her hands." So we've got that nice simile there.

As so we know Izzy's gonna have a really nice description in her paragraph.

And then finally, she's got her concluding sentence.

"She had been suppressing her sobs all day, but now they began to come in swallowed, painful gulps." So we're still focusing on Lucy, and we've got a conclusion to this paragraph.

Now here we've got that topic sentence with a clear focus, Lucy.

Again, just a reminder, we've got the vocabulary and technique selected in her supporting detail.

And then we've got this final concluding sentence.

Now a note about this final concluding sentence.

It's a really nice sentence and it's written in full, which is what a concluding sentence should do, but it does something else as well.

It links to Izzy's next paragraph.

So Izzy knows she wants to focus her first paragraph on Lucy, one of the ladies in waiting.

Her second paragraph, she wants to focus on Lady Jane Grey.

And we can see that because the second topic sentence says, "Jane couldn't see Lucy, but she could hear her." Not only does this next topic sentence tell us which character Izzy wants to focus on, which is Jane, but it also makes a link between the two paragraphs.

So the swallowed, painful gulps that Lucy, the sounds that she is making is referenced in that next topic sentence.

So it's a fantastic including sentence and a great topic sentence, providing a sense of structure for this piece.

Now, Izzy uses this plan, that single paragraph outline to write her first paragraph.

And this is what Izzy writes.

"Lucy rested her head against the wall, unable to look at the sumptuous dress of her mistress crushed on her lap." So sumptuous, one of our key words, remembering meaning rich, luxurious, and often used to refer to fabric.

"Her fingers began to worry a loose thread," which means to play with it, "anything to distract her from the horror in the cell.

She twisted the crimson thread around her finger tight, beginning to unravel the dress's intricate pattern, which had made her gasp when she had first seen Jane in it.

Now, Lucy realised the dress was nothing special.

It had been her mistress who brought the pattern alive.

The garment lay like a corpse in her arms. Disgusted, she pushed it from her, only to find her finger tightly ensnared by the single thread, jerked off her lap.

She had been suppressing her sobs all day, but now they began to come in swallowed, painful gulps." Now you can see Izzy has relied on three key words in her paragraphs.

So we've got sumptuous, that richness, that luxuriousness.

We've got ensnared, which means trapped.

And we've got suppressing, which means to bottle up or to hide your emotions.

So she's used those to good effect in her first paragraph about one of the ladies in waiting, Lucy.

Now Izzy has spent time developing a description of a dress.

So the first and final sentences are focused on Lucy and her feelings, but then we've got this description of the dress, "Her fingers began to worry a thread," all the way down to the idea that this thread jerks her finger off her lap.

So she's really spent some time developing that description.

Now, in descriptive writing, sometimes focusing on something small can be really engaging.

You don't always have to describe the full scene.

You can focus on something as small as a single thread.

Now, it can be really engaging.

It allows you to show off your ability to describe something very small, very niche, but it can also really give us an insight into a particular character.

So here we know that Lucy is very upset because she's twisting this thread around her finger.

So it does give us an insight into how that character is feeling.

Now I would like you to look at the painting again.

You know that this painting is gonna be your prompt, and I'd like you to discuss what small details might you develop descriptions of in your own writing.

So carefully looking at that picture again, what small details might you develop descriptions of in your own writing? Lucy focused on a thread in the dress.

What could you focus on? Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back.

Some really lovely discussions.

They obviously looking incredibly carefully at this painting.

Some people saying they want "to focus on a single piece of straw that is on the ground." Others saying, "I want to focus on the glint of light from the axe." You can see that in the bottom right-hand corner.

Others saying, "I want to focus just on the thumb," which is resting on Jane's hand of the man who is guiding her towards the executioner's block.

Others saying, "I'm going to focus," you can see in the background that there is this sort of table, "and I'm gonna focus on the detail there." Maybe one of the character's gonna be looking at that table rather than looking at Jane.

So lots and lots of different things that you could focus on in this painting.

You don't want to do it in absolutely every single paragraph, but it can be nice to do it in one or maybe two paragraphs, particularly if you want to use it to evoke the idea of a character just as Izzy did with that loose thread and the lady in waiting.

So we check for understanding before we move into some of our own descriptive writing.

Developing a description of small details can engage a reader.

It says true or false.

Pause a video and select your response now.

Well done if you selected true.

Now, I'd like you to justify your answer.

Is it A, you must develop the description of a small detail in each paragraph so the reader understands every aspect of the scene.

Or is it B, small details can help the reader visualise the scene clearly and connect to what is being described.

Pause the video and select your justification now.

Well done if you selected B, small details can help the reader visualise the scene clearly and connect to what is being described.

You don't need to develop a description of a small detail in every paragraph.

The reader cannot hope to understand every single aspect of the scene.

It is your decision to choose which aspects, which small details will really help create the atmosphere or give an insight into a character.

So it's your decision which of those you are going to focus on, which small detail you will focus on.

So I would like you to plan your first three paragraphs using single paragraph outlines.

So you'll have your topic sentence with a clear focus.

I would advise focusing on a specific character.

You will have your small details.

So you'll select your vocabulary and techniques.

And this is the time to consider the small details you want to focus on, the concluding sentence.

And remember, you want to create links to your next paragraph, just as Izzy did, where we have Lucy crying, and then Jane hears that in the next paragraph.

After you've planned those paragraphs, you're gonna write your first three paragraphs.

So these two tasks require some serious time, some serious thinking.

I'm really looking forward to seeing these first three paragraphs inspired by this painting.

Give the task the time that it deserves.

Pause the video, get your pen, your paper, your laptop, whatever it is you're writing on, and get ready to plan.

And then write those first three paragraphs.

Pause the video and complete these two tasks now.

Welcome back.

It was such a pleasure to see such hard thinking going into those plans.

And then when you came to write, really relying on those plans to help you work through those paragraphs.

Particularly nice to see the links between the concluding sentence of one paragraph to the topic sentence of the next paragraph, and some really interesting small details being developed to give me an insight into the scene or a particular character.

Let's do some feedback.

So I'd like you to consider Izzy's paragraph.

We had, "Lucy rested her head against the wall, unable to look at the sumptuous dress of her mistress crushed on her lap.

Her fingers began to worry a loose thread, anything to distract her from the horror in the cell.

She twisted the crimson thread around her finger tight, beginning to unravel the dress's intricate pattern which had made her gasp when she'd first seen Jane in it.

Now, Lucy realised the dress was nothing special.

It had been her mistress who brought the pattern alive.

The garment lay like a corpse in her arms. Disgusted, She pushed it away from her, only to find her finger tightly ensnared, trapped by the single thread, jerked off her lap.

She'd been suppressing her sobs all day, bottling them up, but now they came in swallowed, painful gulps." That's her first paragraph.

And then the opening of her next paragraph, "Jane couldn't see Lucy, but she could hear her." So let's consider what's really good about this.

We've got a topic sentence with a clear focus, Lucy.

We've got a developed description.

She's focused on the thread on the dress.

We've got a concluding sentence, which crucially links to the next paragraph.

So Lucy is crying, and Jane, who is the focus of the next paragraph, hears those sobs.

So I'd like you to identify where you have met the success criteria in your own writing.

So where's your topic sentence with a clear focus? What have you developed your description of? And does your concluding sentence link to your next paragraph? Pause the video and complete this check now.

Welcome back.

Well done for giving that check some really focused time so that you're making sure those first three paragraphs are incredibly strong.

Nice to see people circling or underlining or noting in some way the focus of their paragraph, which character they want to focus on.

Really nice to see some different descriptions of small details coming through.

And of course, lovely to see the concluding sentence of a paragraph linking to that next paragraph.

That really gives your piece some structure and structure is what we're gonna focus on in the next learning cycle as well.

So we have written our first three paragraphs.

We're now gonna turn our attention to the final paragraph, the fourth paragraph, and we're gonna see how to create links between that first and final paragraph.

So Izzy prepares to write her final paragraph.

And the first thing she does is she rereads her first paragraph and selects the details she wants to repeat.

So she selects the idea that she wants to focus on Lucy.

So she's highlighted that.

She wants to repeat the idea of the crimson thread and the intricate pattern on the dress, which had made her gasp when she first saw Jane in it, and the idea that she pushed the dress away from her.

So she's just selected four details there that she wants to return to in her final paragraph.

Now here is Izzy's final paragraph.

So she has got a keen eye to repeat those ideas from her first paragraph.

And her final paragraph reads, "Lucy fixed her eyes on the ceiling, a small crack travelled from its corner to the centre of the room, and she followed its line.

She knew that her eyes were just above Jane's head.

She could hear a quick short breath punctuating the silence of the cell.

Lucy's hand slowly gathered the dress back to her, hugging it closely to her chest, crushing her arms into her ribs.

She wouldn't look.

She wouldn't.

She would remember Jane bounding out to the garden, patterned and joyful, vital and alert.

She found the crimson thread and wound it around her wrist.

There it would stay, always." Now, Izzy has repeated ideas from her first paragraph to give her a sense of structure and finality.

So it's not bad to repeat certain ideas from your first paragraph.

It's not that you can't think of new ideas, it's that you are creating some sense of structure and finality to the end of your piece.

So we've got this focus on Lucy.

That was the first character that Izzy developed in her descriptive writing.

Then we've got this idea that, okay, in the first paragraph, Lucy pushed the dress away.

Now, she's gathering it back to her.

And the final thing is the crimson thread, which was wound around her finger, is now around her wrist.

So she has repeated these details, slightly changed them.

She's not just repeating them verbatim, she's not just copying her first paragraph, but she's definitely echoing it, repeating certain ideas, so there's a sense of finality to her piece.

Let's look at this in table format.

So first paragraph, the focus is Lucy.

Final paragraph, the focus is Lucy.

First paragraph, she winds the crimson thread around her finger.

In the final paragraph, she winds it around her wrist.

In the first paragraph, she pushes the dress away, and in the final paragraph, she pulls the dress back.

So three details repeated but slightly changed in that final paragraph.

Now I'd like you to reread your first paragraph and discuss what details would you like to repeat in your final paragraph.

Select about two or three details, just like Izzy did.

Pause the video and complete these tasks now.

Welcome back.

Really nice to hear people reading, rereading their first paragraph.

Always good to go back to it.

And there might be some changes that you actually want to make when you have a bit of a pause from writing, return to it.

There are often things you want to change, but the real focus was on what details you wanted to select.

And I can see people with little notes of thinking, yep, in my first paragraph, I talked about the glint of the axe or I talked about the central figure, I talked about Jane, and I need to return to her in my final paragraph.

So a quick check before we write your final paragraph.

Here are the first sentences of Jacob's first three paragraphs.

So his first sentence was, "Jane concentrated on finding the block." That's his first sentence of his first paragraph.

His first sentence of his second paragraph is, "Hew felt the smooth handle of his axe pressing into his palm." And the first sentence of his third paragraph is, "Her friends press themselves into the wall, tears wouldn't come." So which character should Jacob return to in his final paragraph, Jane, Hew, her friends or a new character? Pause the video and select your response now.

Well done if you selected Jane.

He should focus on Jane because he focused on Jane in his first paragraph.

So a reminder, here is a prompt to write a description inspired by this picture.

I would like you to write your final paragraph and follow these two steps.

The first is to select the details from your first paragraph that you want to reuse.

You've had a really nice discussion about this already in this learning cycle.

And the second is to write your final paragraph incorporating these details.

So pause the video, write your final paragraph, give it the time it deserves so that you've got a fantastic, full, descriptive piece by the end of this lesson.

Pause the video and I'll see you back here shortly.

Pause the video now.

Welcome back.

You should be so proud of the writing that you have in front of you.

Not only do you have a full descriptive piece, but you've got a full descriptive piece that is incredibly well structured through your topic sentences and concluding sentences, but also through the echoes that you've got between your first and final paragraphs.

Let's do some feedback before we celebrate your work.

So Izzy matched the details from her first paragraph to her final paragraph.

So we did this earlier in the learning cycle.

We saw the focus was on Lucy in both paragraphs.

We saw there was a focus on the crimson thread in both paragraphs, and we saw there was a focus on pushing the dress away in paragraph one and pulling the dress back in the final paragraph.

I would like you to reread your first and final paragraphs and discuss what ideas did you repeat with slight changes so that there is a sense of finality to your descriptive piece.

Pause the video and discuss the question now.

Welcome back.

Such a lovely discussion there.

We often discuss ideas in texts that you have written.

We often discuss word choice, but really, really nice here to have a focus on the structure and making sure that that piece really feels finished, doesn't just trail off to the end, but in fact, feels like a coherent piece of writing, which has an opening focus, which is then echoed in that final paragraph to give it a sense of finality.

In summary, in descriptive writing, sometimes developing the description of small details can be very engaging.

To structure your piece, you could link the concluding sentence of paragraphs to the next topic sentence.

And finally, to structure your piece, your first and final paragraphs could repeat selected ideas or images.

It has been such a pleasure to see you develop a descriptive writing inspired by the "Execution of Lady Jane Grey," and I look forward to seeing you next time.