Lesson video

Hi there, so happy to see you in my lesson today.

I'm Miss Chu, and in our lesson today, we are going to be writing a dark, stormy scene.

I can't wait to start, can you? So should we get going? Today's lesson outcome is, I can write a descriptive scene about a dark stormy night.

The keywords that we will need for this lesson are here, zoom-in, your turn, text flow, fronted adverbial, and past tense.

The zoom-in technique is a writing technique that involves starting description with a broad idea and gradually narrowing the focus to describe specific details.

Text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

And past tense shows the action that happened before now.

The lesson outline for writing a stormy scene is in two parts, preparing to write and then actually writing the descriptive scene, let's prepare.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

We plan and say each sentence before we write it.

We use punctuation where we know the rules.

We showcase and show off each sentence type we know.

We write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

We use spelling strategies to spell words accurately.

And finally, right at the end we check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

Writers choose precise and ambitious vocabulary to help to paint vivid pictures for readers.

Vivid pictures are often written with sensory rich descriptions.

Imagining colours as we write helps us choose the right vocabulary.

Let's look at this example, screams of howling, incessant wind tore through Aisha's city just like the fear that tore through her heart.

The words howling and incessant paint a negative image for the reader.

And that is why the arrow is pointing to the orangey red section of our scale.

Because those colours are creating, are conjuring in our minds a negative image.

These are all examples of ambitious vocabulary that we can use in today's lesson.

My turn, then your turn.

Blustery, howl, incessant, electrifying, well done.

Let's now go through what each of those words mean.

Blustery means windy or blowing noisily.

Howl means to cry or to wail.

Incessant means endless or nonstop.

Electrifying is thrilling or stunning.

Are you ready for the next set of words? My turn and then your turn.

So I'll say it first then you, ominous, tempestuous, torrential and splattered.

Let's go through what each of those words mean.

Ominous means scary, threatening, or menacing.

Tempestuous is stormy, wild, or violent.

Torrential is falling heavily or forcefully.

And splattered means splashed or sprinkled.

Before we write, let's have a look at what fronted adverbials are.

Fronted adverbials help to create text flow.

They give detail about the time, place, manner, or frequency of the action in a sentence.

A variety, that means a lot, a range of fronted adverbials adds richness to descriptive writing.

These are some examples of fronted adverbials that we could use in our writing today.

We could say for a fronted adverbial of time, in the middle of the night.

For place, we could say all around the moor.

For manner, we could say that the rain was falling heavily.

For frequency, we could say that the wind was howling constantly.

Let's look at a plan for writing a stormy scene.

We're going to start by looking at the storm.

So we're going to start with the big picture.

So if we use our zoom-in technique, the storm is the widest part of our V.

Can you make a V with your hands? So we've got the part at the top here.

That would be the storm.

And then as we go into our V, into the pointed part of our V, that's when we focus on the details of our scene.

So in all storm, this plan has chosen all around as it's fronted adverbial.

And then for its expanded now phrase, it's chosen, ominous and tempestuous.

And then the simile that's in the plan is howled like an angry beast.

For the wind part of the plan, there is mercilessly as a fronted adverbial, blustery, icy wind that howled.

Then we have tore through the trees, branches reached out in desperation.

Those are our two pieces of figurative language.

Let's look at thunder now.

So our fronted adverbial for thunder is without a care in the world, we said that it was menacing and deafening and it boomed through the land.

Lightning every few minutes is our fronted adverbial, the expanded noun phrase for lightning, it's electrifying and blinding that danced.

And then as a simile, we said like frenzied serpents or arched across the sky like jagged spears.

And finally in the pointed part of the V, we have rain.

The fronted adverbial used in the plan is in every direction.

The expanded noun phrase for rain is torrential and incessant.

And we compare the rain to a drummer, so tapped like a drummer.

And we also said in the plan that the rain was like heavy sombre teardrops.

What are we going to do with the plan? So let's practise saying the first sentence aloud.

This is a talk task.

We're going to use the fronted adverbial in the plan.

We're gonna just make it a simple sentence, just not just a simple sentence.

A great simple sentence.

Let's use the sentence scaffold here.

All around, I've already helped you to start off your sentence, all around the mm storm.

Use the plan, use the adjectives, Howled like what? Use the plan again.

So you are just using the sentence scaffold to write your first magnificent simple sentence.

Pause the video and have a go.

Okay, we have now said our first sentence about the storm, so we can give a tick, cross it out.

Now we're gonna focus on the wind.

Let's take this plan now and say the second sentence aloud.

This is a talk task activity.

And you're gonna use a fronted adverbial from your plan.

The fronted adverbial that I have is mercilessly.

Use the sentence scaffold to help you.

Mercilessly the mm mm wind take it straight from the plan, the blustery, icy wind.

And then you can use tore through the trees or branches outstretched in desperation.

Let's just see if that makes sense.

Mercilessly the blustery, icy wind tore through the trees.

Okay, that does make sense.

The blustery, icy wind that howled.

That again, mm.

That wouldn't make sense.

So I'm going to cross out howled.

The blustery, icy wind tore through the trees.

And then I'm going to move my that to the second part of my sentence.

Okay, I think you're ready to pause the video and have a go.

Shall we have a look at the sentence? Mercilessly, the blustery, icy wind tore through the trees.

So I've used that first part, my figurative language, tore through the trees that had.

So I use my that to extend that sentence that had branches outstretched in desperation.

Now that we have done that part of the plan, we can tick it off and cross out those words in our plan.

Let's now focus on thunder.

In this talk task, you're going to say the third sentence aloud using a fronted adverbial from the plan.

This time you're to make it a compound sentence.

Here is a sentence scaffold to help you.

Without a care in the world, taken straight from the plan.

That's our fronted adverbial, the mm, mm thunder.

Choose the two adjectives to create your expanded noun phrase.

Use your personification and it and then extend it with another main clause.

I think you could have a go at doing that on your own.

Pause the video and have a go.

Let's have a look at what my sentence looks like.

Without a care in the world, the menacing, deafening thunder.

So far I've taken it all from the plan.

Boomed a haunting rhythm.

So I did add to it, I said the thunder boom.

I could have said the thunder boomed through the land.

But I wanted to make it a compound sentence and I wanted to add a little bit more information.

And I wanted the second part to be a main clause.

Deafening thunder boomed a haunting rhythm.

And I've said it raged its fury through the land.

So I've kind of broken up that last part in my figurative language and just added to it and made sure that after and I included another main cause because I know I wanted it to be a compound sentence.

So we've done our thunder, we've set our sentence to cross it out.

We're now going to focus on lightning.

This time you're gonna say the sentence out loud again using a fronted adverbial from your plan.

And then we're going to make it a simple sentence.

Let's have a look at this sentence scaffold.

Hmm, so this time I haven't put in the fronted adverbial.

You are going to do that.

Mm, the sky was illuminated by Mm, mm lightning.

So here you can put in your expanded noun phrase.

Mm, mm lightening.

And then you can finish off by saying that danced like what? You can use the idea that's in the plan like that dance like frenzied serpents.

Or you can come up with your own one.

Pause the video and have a go at writing this simple saying, sorry, this simple sentence.

This is what my sentence looks like.

Every few minutes, comma, the sky was illuminated by electrifying, blinding, so I've taking those two adjectives, lightning that danced like frenzied serpents.

I just chose that first simile and put it into my sentence.

Okay, we have done lightning.

We are crossing it out, we have done it.

Now we are onto task A.

This is also a talk task, you're going to say the sentence aloud.

Use your plan, it's about the rain to make it a relative clause complex sentence.

Don't worry, don't fret I will have a sentence scaffold here to support you to say your relative clause complex sentence.

We're going to start with the mm, mm rain.

Easy, we just get that from the plan.

Which, so we're going to use our relative pronoun now, which, which splattered, mm, poured down like, hmm.

Which splattered what could go in there? You could choose an adverb.

There isn't an adverb on our plan, but you could definitely come up with one.

Pour down like, and then you could choose one of the things in your figurative language section of your table and finish that sentence off.

Pause the video and I give this a really good go and I can't wait to hear your sentence after you've pressed play.

Right, so this is what your sentence could have sounded like.

Yours might sound different.

The torrential, incessant rain, which splattered in every direction.

Ah, so here I have taken the fronted adverbial and actually used it in the middle of my sentence.

It's not a fronted adverbial anymore, but it is an adverbial because it's telling me where the rain splattered, poured down like heavy sombre teardrops.

I've taken directly from the plan and I've just finished off that part of my relative clause complex sentence.

Now let me just check that it makes sense.

If I take out the relative clause, which splattered in every direction, that's my relative clause.

Would my main clause still make sense? Let's just check.

The torrential, incessant rain poured down like heavy sombre teardrops.

Yes, that still makes sense.

And that sentence is good to go.

We have done lots of oral rehearsal, we have prepared to write and now we are going to write a really excellent descriptive scene.

But before we do that, we need to look at our success criteria.

Let's just have a little read through and just check what we need to do before we actually come to do it.

I have written ambitious vocabulary and figurative language from my plan.

Give me a thumbs up if you think you can do this.

Think you can definitely.

I have written a range of fronted adverbial from my plan.

Thumbs up if you can.

I have structured my writing using the zoom-in technique.

Give me a thumbs up if you know how to use the zoom-in technique.

And I have written three different sentence types, simple, compound, and complex.

We practise all of those.

So I know, I am confident that you can do it.

Before you have a go, why don't you have a little watch of how I write or how I at least start off writing my stormy descriptive scene.

You can watch how I use the success criteria to help me to structure my writing and of course my plan.

Use my plan as well.

You've got to use your plan.

I am ready to begin.

I've got my success criteria here.

I've got my plan here.

You can't see it, but it's over here next to me.

And I'm going to start with the storm.

I'm starting with my V, my zoom-in technique.

And the first thing that I'm going to write about the storm is that it howled like an angry beast.

So I need to remember to start with a fronted adverbial.

I'm going to indent.

So I'm gonna start about here.

I'm going to use the fronted adverbial that's actually on my plan.

All around comma, mustn't forget my comma after my fronted adverbial, the I'm going to write my expanded noun phrase.

I'm going to use ominous, which means threatening or menacing.

And tempestuous can I fit it all in? Yes I can, I just about fit it in.

Ominous tempestuous storm.

And then so I've got my expanded noun phrase, I'm going to use a simile here, howled like an angry beast.

Have I used ambitious vocabulary? Yes, I have there.

And have I used figurative language? Yes, I have.

I've used the simile.

So I can actually tick that off.

But I'm just gonna do a small tick because I need some space for the rest of my descriptive writing because I'm going to be using a lot more ambitious vocab and figurative language, right? Let me have a look at what the next thing I need to write about is.

It's the wind.

Okay, I'm going to use the fronted adverbial that's on my plan, mercilessly, comma, got to check my spelling.

The blustery, comma icy, because I'm choosing vocabulary that's creating that negative image plus icy makes me feel like the wind is so cold, tore through tore through the trees.

That's what I have on my plans.

So, I'm going to pop that in.

And then I'm gonna say that the trees that had branches out stretched in desperation full stop.

So once again, I just need to check, I've got a front.

So I've now got two fronted adverbials.

I can tick that second one off, which says I have written a range of fronted adverbials from my plan.

I've got the two, so two.

Have I included ambitious vocabulary in my second sentence blustery, yes, blustery.

So another little tick.

And then figurative language.

Let me just check, outstretched that had branches outstretched and that's personification and tore through.

Okay, so I can give that a tick as well.

Let me just check the third thing actually on my list, I have structured my writing using the zoom-in technique.

So have I zoomed-in? Have I started large big picture, storm, wind? Well, it's quite hard to say now, but I think I'll leave that till the end to tick that off.

And let me just check on here.

I've written three different sentence types.

Oh, I need to remember to change my sentence types.

I need to vary them.

So I've got a simple sentence.

I've got another, oh, okay, so the next one I'm going to write I'm going to go for a compound.

So on my plan over here, I can see that I need to now write a sentence about the thunder.

Okay, let's start with the fronted adverbial that's on my plan.

That's nice and easy.

You can just pop that in.

Without a care in the world.

And who are we talking about here? Without a care in the world.

We're talking, we're writing about the thunder.

So actually already, we're already giving the thunder, human-like qualities here.

The menacing, comma deafening.

I want to actually describe how sound, it's not just how the thunder is, but what it sounds like.

It's deafening, it's so loud.

Thunder, let's put the thunder in before we forget to pop him in.

And what do we want to say? We want to say that thunder boomed a melody.

Melody makes it sound quite nice actually.

And remember, we're trying to paint a negative image.

So actually I'm going to pop in the adjective haunting because that gives a negative image or picture about the melody that the thunder is singing.

Okay, without care in the world, the menacing, deafening thunder boomed a haunting melody.

And, and I'm going to add my second main clause.

Join it with my coordinating conjunction.

And I'm going to say it, I'm going to give it a personality.

It raged its fury, so it's anger through the land.

I've got that on my plan anyway.

So I'm just adding this part raged its fury.

Amazing, let me just check through now.

Yes I can now, so I've got my simple, I can tick off that one because I've got my compound.

I haven't written my complex sentence, so I'm going to pop that in later on.

But so far I'm on track in meeting my success criteria.

Let me look at my plan.

So I've written about the storm, I've written about the wind, I've written about the thunder.

And now I've got two more items on my plan that I need to write about.

One is the lightning, which I'm going to write next.

So every few minutes, I want to use every few minutes to imply that it's happening quite frequently, the sky was illuminated.

Illuminated does make it sound quite nice.

So let's add in some vocabulary that might change the mood of the scene.

Was illuminated by electrifying.

Electrifying, I've got two I's there.

Silly me, I need to cross one out.

Electrifying comma blinding.

Need to squeeze that one in, lightning.

That I am going to use that again to extend my expanded noun phrase that danced like, I'm just taking this straight from my plan, and I'm going to refer to it as frenzied serpents because now I'm creating a much more negative image.

Frenzied is giving the idea that everything's happening in a really chaotic way.

And serpents, normally when you think of serpents, they're linked with objects or linked with a scene or a character or an environment where it's negative.

So pop that in there.

And then finally, let me just check what sentence type this is.

Okay, so that's my sentence.

So I think I can pop in my final.

So my final item is about the rain.

And that's where I want to use my complex sentence and I've practised saying my relative clause complex sentence.

So I'm going to pop it in.

So the capital torrential incessant rain, comma, which, and I'm using my relative pronoun there, which, splattered in every direction, comma, poured down like heavy sombre teardrops, is going to be my relative clause complex sentence.

I haven't written it in, but I think that you could definitely do that sentence when you come to write your whole descriptive scene.

And then when you have done that, you can tick it off.

I can't do it yet.

Can definitely do the simple and the compound.

I'm just gonna finish this one off and then I can tick it off.

And have I used the zoom-in technique? Now I can have a look at it overall, yes, I have, I've started big and I've zoomed into the specifics.

So I can tick that off and I can definitely give that one a tick and that one a tick.

Okay, it is your turn.

You are going to indent the first sentence, use your success criteria and your plan.

And you are going to write your stormy scenes now.

I am so excited for you and I cannot wait to read it when you have finished.

Let's have a quick check of mine.

Can you help me to check whether I've included everything in my success criteria? Okay, so I've used ominous, tempestuous, howl, blustery, electrifying, torrential, incessant and splattered.

So I have used ambitious vocabulary.

I am really proud of myself that I've done that.

I've used all around, mercilessly, without care in the world, every few minutes, in every direction.

So I have used my fronted adverbial, and I've even moved one of the fronted adverbial into the middle of a sentence.

Som it's not a fronted adverbial anymore, but it's still an adverbial.

So I'm happy with that.

And then have I used figurative language? While I've said the storm howled like an angry beast.

The trees had their branches outstretched in desperation.

The thunder boomed a melody like someone singing and it raged its fury, like someone being really, really angry.

And I've said the lightning danced like frenzied serpents.

And finally I said that the rain poured down like heavy sombre tears.

So definitely give myself a big pat on the back because I've used and I've included a lot of figurative language in my descriptive scene.

And finally, let me just check through my sentence types.

So my first sentence, I can see straight away that that is a simple sentence.

It's got one main clause.

My second sentence is also a main clause.

It's a simple sentence.

My third one is a compound sentence.

I've got two main clauses joined with a coordinating conjunction.

And my sentence about the lightning is a, let me just check, simple sentence.

And then finally, I've got a relative clause complex sentence with the relative pronoun which.

And my relative clause interrupting my main clause.

What I'd like you to do now is I'd like you to do exactly the same thing, and I'd like you to read back your writing to check that it made sense.

Edit for punctuation or sentence structure errors if you come across any, definitely do that.

And then put a tick in each box when you've completed the success criteria, just as I have shown you here.

We're now at the end of writing a stormy scene.

Let's summarise, notes from plans are useful to write coherent sentences, saying sentences out loud before writing them helps 'em to make sense.

Success criteria is useful to check our writing.

And finally improving our writing by editing punctuation errors and language choices ensures our writing is the best it can be.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your stormy scene descriptions.

Wow, I was absolutely blown away.