Hi everyone.

My name is Ms. Royale, and I am really excited that you have joined me today to write part one of the build-up in "The Firework-Maker's Daughter." This lesson is based on this copy of "The Firework-Maker's Daughter" by Philip Pullman, and you may wish to refer to it.

Pause the video now and get your copy.

Great, now you have your copy of the book with you.

During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to.

And you will need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for writing.

You will also need your plan to support you with your writing.

I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is, I can write a well structured paragraph for part one of the build-up.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them, my turn, your turn.

Text flow.

Subordinating conjunction.

Adverbial clause.

Adverbial complex sentence.

Great job.

Well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

Text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

A subordinating conjunction is a word that starts an adverbial clause.

An adverbial clause is a type of subordinate clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction.

An adverbial complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and adverbial subordinate clause.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write, and in the second part, you will be writing part one of the build-up.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

"The Firework-Maker's Daughter" can be structured like this: opening, build-up, climax, resolution.

In this lesson, we are writing the build-up.

The purpose of the build-up is to move the story forward and describe the main character's journey.

The build-up in chapter four builds suspense around whether Lila will overcome challenges to reach her destination.

Your narrative build-up needs to include the following linguistic features: precise and ambitious vocabulary.

That includes adjectives, adverbs, and verbs.

Show and tell to describe Lila's emotions.

This is including sensory details, actions, and thoughts that let us know how Lila feels.

A range of sentence types to improve text flow.

Simple and compound sentences.

And adverbial complex sentences.

Linguist features are types of words and language that a writer chooses carefully.

It will help you create the best narrative build-up possible.

You are going to be writing part one of the build-up in "The Firework-Maker's Daughter." Part one of the build-up will cover the following key moments for Lila.

Lila tried to sleep but she couldn't.

She considered giving up.

Lila continued on her journey.

The ground became much steeper and she realised she was climbing the mountain.

Lila slipped and fell down the mountain.

You will use your plan to support you in writing the build-up.

We can use the notes from our plan to form full sentences.

These notes contain precise and descriptive vocabulary that show and tell the reader what happens on Lila's journey, and how she is feeling.

Here is an example of the plan for the first key moment in the build-up, when Lila couldn't sleep and she considered giving up on her quest.

We can see bullet point notes of ambitious adjectives and precise verbs and adverbs.

Using a range of sentences in our writing helps with text flow.

Let's take a look at an example of how I can form a range of sentences from these notes.

"Lila lay down on the rough, rocky ground, but she was unable to sleep.

As she tossed and turned, she questioned whether she had the strength to complete her quest.

She let out an exasperated sigh." You will see that I did not copy out my notes word for word.

I used the vocabulary in my notes to form a range of sentence types.

Let's check your understanding.

True or false? When I write the build-up, I can just copy out my plan.

Pause the video and select your answer.

That is false.

Well done.

Now it's time to justify.

A, I should use the notes in my plan to form a range of sentences.

B, I should reorder the events from my plan.

Pause the video and select your justification.

The answer is A.

Well done.

Using your notes from your plan can help you to form a range of sentences.

You definitely should not reorder the events from the plan.

It is important to follow the chronology of your plan.

Let's look at the different sentence types formed from the plan for the first key moment.

"Lila lay down on the rough, rocky ground, but she was unable to sleep.

As she tossed and turned, she questioned whether she had the strength to complete her quest.

She let out an exasperated sigh." In the first sentence here, we can spot the coordinating conjunction "but." This has been used to form a compound sentence.

It has joined two main clauses.

The second sentence begins with the adverbial clause, "As she tossed and turned." An adverbial clause joined to a main clause forms an adverbial complex sentence.

And the final sentence here is an example of a simple sentence that contains only one main clause.

Let's look at the rules for simple and compound sentences.

A sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea is called a simple sentence.

It has just one main clause.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction.

Main clause, coordinating conjunction "and," "or" or "but," and another main clause.

Let's look at the rules for an adverbial complex sentence.

An adverbial clause is a type of subordinate clause.

It is a group of words that contain a verb and does not make complete sense.

When an adverbial clause is joined to a main clause, it makes an adverbial complex sentence.

It can look like this where the main clause comes first, and it is stretched with a subordinate clause.

Or you can have a subordinate clause followed by a comma and then the main clause.

Let's check your understanding.

Match the sentence types to their definition.

For sentence types, we have simple sentence, compound sentence, and adverbial complex sentence.

For definitions, a sentence formed of a main clause and an adverbial subordinate clause, a sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea, and a sentence formed of two main clauses and a joining word.

Pause the video and match these now.

Let's take a look at the answers.

A simple sentence is a sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a joining word.

And an adverbial complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and an adverbial subordinate clause.

Well done for showing a great understanding of different types of sentences.

Adverbial complex sentences improve text flow.

We are going to take a closer look now at how to form adverbial complex sentences.

The subordinating conjunction allows us to join the adverbial clause to a main clause, to make an adverbial complex sentence.

We can begin with the subordinate clause, and use a comma to separate it from the main clause.

Here is an example.

"When Lila was unable to sleep, she questioned if she had the ability to continue on her quest." The subordinating conjunction "when" has been used to begin the adverbial clause.

We can also begin with our main clause and stretch it with a subordinate clause, and we do not need a comma in this instance.

Here is an example.

"Lila questioned if she had the ability to continue on her quest when she was unable to sleep." Here, the subordinating conjunction "when" has still been used to begin the adverbial clause.

The adverbial clause relies on the main clause to make sense.

A range of subordinating conjunctions can be used to begin an adverbial clause.

Each is used for a different purpose.

"When," "that," "because," "so," "as." These are all examples of subordinating conjunctions.

These three subordinating conjunctions will be really useful for your writing today, and they have different purposes, "when," "as," and "because." "When" means at that time.

"As" means at the same time.

And "because" is used to provide a reason.

Let's take a look at some example sentences using these subordinating conjunctions.

"When she felt the warmth of the ground, she knew she was close." "Her heart raced as she tumbled backwards." "She composed herself because she knew she must go on." Let's check your understanding.

True or false? The subordinating conjunction always comes at the beginning of an adverbial complex sentence.

Pause the video and select your answer now.

That is false.

Well done.

Now it's time to justify your answer.

A, the subordinating conjunction always comes after the main clause.

Or B, the subordinating conjunction always begins the adverbial clause.

Pause the video and select the correct justification.

The answer is B.

Well done.

The subordinating conjunction always begins the adverbial clause, and the adverbial clause can come first or second in an adverbial complex sentence.

It's time for a task and it is a talk task.

Say the first few sentences of the build-up.

Make sure you include the following: precise and ambitious vocabulary from your plan.

Show and tell to describe Lila's emotions.

A range of sentence types, including an adverbial complex sentence.

Your starting sentence could be, "When," which is a subordinating conjunction that begins an adverbial clause, followed by a comma and then a main clause.

Pause the video and do the task with your partner now.

I loved listening to your oral rehearsal of the beginning of your build-up, and you did such a great job at including all of the linguistic features you needed to.

Let's take a look at a good example.

"When she couldn't rest, Lila wondered if she had the ability to continue.

She exhaled heavily, but then she reminded herself of the purpose of her quest.

Lila knew she had come too far to give up now.

She felt determined to go on.

She noticed the ground becoming steeper as she moved forwards." The verb and adverb "exhaled heavily" is a really good example of precise and ambitious vocabulary, and it is also an example of show and tell.

It lets the reader know that Lila must have been feeling disappointed or frustrated by the situation.

For a range of sentence types, the first sentence begins with an adverbial clause, forming an adverbial complex sentence.

The second sentence uses the coordinating conjunction "but" to form a compound sentence.

The next two sentences are examples of simple sentences.

And the final sentence is also an adverbial complex sentence.

But this time the adverbial clause comes after the main clause.

Well done for your talk task.

I am sure that it has helped you to feel really prepared for writing part one of the build-up.

It's now time for the most exciting part of the lesson where you are going to be writing part one of the build-up.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately.

Read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Let's read over it.

I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan to describe Lila's journey and build suspense.

I have used show and tell to describe Lila's emotions, including sensory details, actions, and thoughts.

I have written a range of sentence types, including at least one adverbial complex sentence.

You will also use the notes from your plan for writing today.

Pause the video and make sure you have your notes with you now.

Great, now you have your notes with you.

I am going to model writing the first few sentences of the build-up and then we will check it against the success criteria.

So, I have my plan for part one of the build-up here with me.

I have my precise and ambitious vocabulary for each of the key moments, so I know that I can use this to help me meet that success criteria.

My plan also contains show and tell to describe Lila's emotions.

And I know I need to include a range of sentence types, including at least one adverbial complex sentence.

I'm going to go to my plan and look at key moment one.

"Lila couldn't sleep and she considered giving up on her quest." How would I like to start? I would like to start by describing my setting, which will help explain why Lila couldn't sleep.

So I can see that the ground was rough and rocky, and the moon shone brightly.

I think I would like to form a compound sentence here.

So, "Lila lay on the rough, rocky ground, and the moon shine brightly into her eyes." "Lila lay on the rough, rocky ground, and the moon shone brightly into her eyes." Full stop.

Great.

I have used the coordinating conjunction "and" to form a compound sentence here.

And I'm going to tick this part of my plan 'cause I know I've written about it.

Do I want to say she couldn't sleep? So, "She couldn't sleep.

She considered giving up on her quest." I have a precise verb here, "questioned." "She questioned whether she had the strength to continue." Could I form an adverbial complex sentence here? Why did she question whether to continue? It was because she couldn't sleep, so maybe I could use the subordinating conjunction "when." "When Lila realised she wouldn't be able to sleep, she questioned whether she had the energy to continue." "When Lila realised she would get no sleep, she questioned whether she had the strength," or energy, or determination? No, I don't want to use determination because I know that she finds her determination.

"When Lila realised she would get no sleep, she questioned whether she had the strength to continue on her journey." Great.

I have used a subordinating conjunction "when" to begin my adverbial clause, and because my adverbial clause has come first, I have used a comma to separate it from the main clause.

Now, "exasperated sigh," that is a good example of show and tell.

How could I form a sentence about this? This might be a good note to use to form a simple sentence.

Using a simple sentence could be quite impactful here.

"She gave an exasperated sigh," or "she let out an exasperated sigh." "She let out an exasperated sigh." This lets the reader know that Lila was feeling frustrated.

Great.

Okay.

I can tick that.

Now, I have two notes left here in my plan for the first key moment.

I'm not sure I want to include this now, because I think I have effectively communicated that Lila's spirit is low.

But I would like to talk about her standing up, and "grumpily" is a great adverb to describe it.

I can use it as a fronted adverbial of manner.

"Grumpily, Lila stood up." Would I like to finish the sentence there or would I like to continue it? "Grumpily, Lila stood up." And does this lead into the next key moment? "She continued on her journey." "Grumpily, Lila stood up and she gathered the will to continue." Great.

"Grumpily, Lila stood up and she gathered the will to continue." Oh, now which piece of punctuation am I missing here? I am missing a comma after my fronted adverbial of manner.

So I can tick that.

And I know that I have now led in to describing the second key moment.

Let's check this writing against the success criteria.

I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan to describe Lila's journey and build suspense.

Well, I have "rough, rocky ground," "moon shone brightly," I've got a precise verb "questioned," "exasperated sigh," "grumpily." Great.

And my writing keeps the reader really intrigued as to whether she will continue on her journey or not, so that builds suspense, so we can tick that.

I have used "show and tell," "exasperated sigh," and describing her thoughts of questioning whether she had the strength to continue.

So we can tick that.

And for a range of sentence types, we know I use a coordinating conjunction to form a compound sentence first.

Then I use an adverbial clause with a main clause to form an adverbial complex sentence.

I have a simple sentence here, and another compound sentence here, so I can tick that.

I'm now going to read over my writing one last time to check it makes sense, and to see if there is anything I need to edit or improve.

"Lila lay one." Oh, I've accidentally written the wrong word here.

It should say "Lila lay on." Okay, we'll cross out the E there.

"Lila lay on the rough, rocky ground and the moon shone brightly into her eyes.

When Lila realised she would get no sleep, she questioned whether she had the strength to continue on her journey.

She let out an exasperated sigh.

Grumpily, Lila stood up and she gathered the will to continue." Hmm, now I have used the same verb twice here.

I can see I have "continue on her journey" and "gathered the will to continue." Would I like to change my verb here? What if instead of "continue" I said "power on?" "Grumpily, Lila stood up and she gathered the will to power on." That will help my writing to flow, if I make sure I have used a variety of precise verbs.

Great.

It's time for your writing task.

You will now use your plan and the success criteria to write part one of the build-up.

Pause the video now to do your writing task, and come back and press play once you have finished.

Welcome back.

What wonderful writing you have produced.

I am so proud of how hard you concentrated.

It's now time for some reflection.

Read your writing back to check it makes sense, and edit any punctuation errors.

Then tick each box of the success criteria once you are sure you have met it.

Pause the video and check your writing now.

Well done for checking over your writing and making any edits and improvements you needed to.

I am sure you were able to tick every box on the success criteria.

I'm now going to share a good example of part one of the build-up with you, and look at how it meets the success criteria.

"When she couldn't sleep, Lila questioned whether she even had the strength to continue.

She let out an exasperated sigh, but she reminded herself of the purpose of her quest.

She knew she had come too far to give up now.

Determinedly, Lila continued on her journey.

The rocky ground felt hot beneath her worn, tired feet, so she knew she must be close.

All of a sudden, Lila felt the rolling of a stone under her foot and she began to lose her balance.

Her heart raced as she tumbled backwards.

Rocks followed her, battering and bruising her aching limbs.

When stillness emerged, she took a deep breath, because she knew she to find the courage to go on." Let's check this against the success criteria.

For "I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary." We can see precise verbs like "questioned," "tumbled" and "raced." We can also see adjectives that are ambitious like "exasperated" to describe her sigh, and "worn, tired feet." And then we can see a really good adverb, "determinedly," which has been used as a fronted adverbial of manner here, and provides detail about how Lila continued on her journey.

So we can tick that first box.

For "I have used show and tell." "Exasperated sigh" lets the reader know that Lila was feeling frustrated, disappointed.

"Her heart raced," that tells the reader that she was feeling really scared, or shocked, or worried as she was tumbling backwards.

And "she took a deep breath." Well, it helps to consider why we take a deep breath.

We often take a deep breath to compose ourselves, to gather our strength.

So this is also a good example of show and tell.

It lets us know that Lila wanted to compose herself, so that she could continue on her journey.

So we can tick that second box.

And for "I have written a range of sentence types, including at least one adverbial complex sentence." The first sentence has an adverbial clause at the beginning, "When she couldn't sleep." So that is a good example of adverbial complex sentence.

The second sentence uses the coordinating conjunction "but" to join two main clauses, so that is a compound sentence.

Then we have the sentence, "The rocky ground felt hot beneath her worn, tired feet, so she knew she must be close." This is also an adverbial complex sentence, but this time the adverbial clause has come after the main cause.

And "Her heart raced as she tumbled backwards." This is a good example of a simple sentence, so we can check that box.

Well done again for all of your hard work writing part one of the build-up.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

The purpose of a build-up is to move the main character's journey forward and build tension.

Precise and ambitious vocabulary shows and tells the reader what happened on her journey and how she was feeling.

Using a range of sentence types, simple, compound and complex improves text flow for the reader.

An adverbial clause begins with a subordinating conjunction, and an adverbial clause is joined with a main clause to form an adverbial complex sentence.

I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching you today, and I loved reading over your writing.