Lesson video

Hi everyone, my name is Ms. Voyle.

And welcome to today's lesson, where you are going to be writing part two of the build-up of your narrative based on the Iron Man.

You have already written a plan for the build-up and it is important that you use this to support you with your writing.

Pause the video and make sure you have the notes from your plan with you now.

Great.

Now I know you have your plan with you.

During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to, and you will also need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for writing.

I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is; "I can write the second paragraph "of the build-up of the Iron Man." Here are our key words for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

"Suspense." "Show and tell." "Contrast." Great job.

Well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

"Suspense is when you are feeling anxious "or excited about what may happen.

"Show and tell is a writing technique "for showing a character's feelings with description "of their actions and expressions.

"And contrast is the comparison of two "or more elements that are strikingly different." There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write.

And in the second part you will be writing part two of the build-up.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

"The Iron Man can be structured like this: "opening, build-up, climax, resolution." "In this lesson, we are writing the build-up.

"You have already written part one of the build-up "and today you'll write part two of the build-up.

"You have already written paragraph one." Let's remind ourselves what you covered in this paragraph.

You described "Key moment 1: "Hogarth spotted the Iron Man while fishing "and ran home to tell his parents." And "Key moment 2: Hogarth's father went in search "of the giant and made a close escape.

"You will focus on the following key moments in paragraph two.

"Key moment 3: "The farmers found their machinery missing "and dug a hole to trap the giant, but he never came." And "Key moment 4: "Hogarth lured the Iron Man into the hole "and the overjoyed farmers buried him.

"Hogarth's feelings shifted." "Your narrative build-up needs "to include the following linguistic features: "precise and ambitious vocabulary.

This should include "a range of verbs, adjectives, adverbs "and nouns from your plan.

And "Show and tell language to build suspense," which you also developed in your plan.

You will need to use "a range of sentence types "to support text flow; "simple, compound, and complex sentences." And you will also need to include "fronted adverbials." "Linguistic features are types of words "and language that a writer chooses carefully." "We will use the notes from our plan to write the build-up." Here is an example of some of the notes we developed for key moment 3 for paragraph two.

we developed fronted adverbials, ambitious vocabulary and show and tell to build suspense.

"We should use our notes to form a range of sentence types "as this supports text flow." "Let's remind ourselves of the different sentence types.

"A sentence made of just one main clause "with just one idea is called a simple sentence." It contains one main clause.

"A compound sentence is a sentence formed "of two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction." Main clause, coordinating conjunction and, or, or but followed by another main clause.

"Let's look at the rules for an adverbial complex sentence." "When adverbial subordinate clause "is joined to a main clause, "it makes adverbial complex sentence." The main clause can come first and it can be followed by the adverbial subordinate clause.

Or the adverbial subordinate clause can come first with a comma to separate it from the main clause that follows.

"An adverbial clause must begin "with a subordinating conjunction, "for example; as, when, or so.

"These subordinating conjunctions will be useful "for your narrative build-up." Let's check your understanding.

"Can you spot a simple, "compound and adverbial complex sentence "in the following model? "Once you have found each, "explain to your partner how you know." I will read it to you.

"The following day, the farmers across the land "awoke to an awful scene.

"All of their machinery was missing! "As they spotted pieces of chewed metal lying about, "they knew it had to be the Iron Man.

"Furiously, they dug a humongous hole "and they eagerly waited to trap the destructive giant." Pause the video now and discuss with your partner to find the simple, compound and adverbial complex sentences in this model.

Let's take a look at these sentence types together.

Hopefully you spotted that "All of their machinery "was missing" is a simple sentence because it contains one main clause.

The first sentence is also a simple sentence, but it does have a fronted adverbial at the beginning, which is why we can spot a comma in it.

The next sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence because it begins with an adverbial clause: "As they spotted pieces of chewed metal lying about." And the final sentence is an example of a compound sentence because it contains the coordinating conjunction and which has been used to join two main clauses.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of the different sentence types.

"The character's emotions continue to intensify "in the second part of the build-up.

"In paragraph one, you used show and tell "to convey the feeling of fear for Hogarth.

"In paragraph two, you need to use show and tell "to convey how the farmer's emotions intensify and shift.

"Initially you will focus on conveying the building of anger "for the farmers as they respond "to the Iron Man's destruction.

"Then you will convey their determination "in trapping the Iron Man "and their joy once they have succeeded.

"Let's look at examples of show and tell "to show how the farmer's emotions change "in part two of the build-up." You might begin by saying, "The farmers could not believe their eyes." "They trembled with fury." "They were determined and they anxiously waited "for the Iron Man to approach the hole." "They triumphantly cheered once he was trapped and buried." "It will then be important to convey the contrast "between the farmer's joy and Hogarth's ultimate guilt "and sorrow" at the end of paragraph two.

Let's check your understanding.

"Put the following emotions in order from one to four "to show how the farmer's emotions shift "in part two of the build-up." I will read them to you.

"A: waited in eager anticipation.

"B: furiously hatched a plan.

"C: joyfully celebrated.

"D: shook heads in disbelief." Pause the video now and number these one to four to show their order.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

First, we would say, "the farmers shook their heads in disbelief." Second, we would say that they, "furiously hatched a plan." Third, we would say they "waited in eager anticipation." And fourth, we would say that they "joyfully celebrated." Well done for demonstrating your understanding of how the farmer's emotions shift in part two of the build-up.

"We need to show the contrast between how the farmers "and Hogarth feel after the Iron Man is buried.

"We can use the coordinating conjunction but "to join two ideas when the two ideas contrast each other." Let's take a look at some examples of this.

"The farmers were overjoyed, "but Hogarth suddenly experienced a heavy sadness.

"The town cheered in celebration, "but Hogarth began to feel "a deep sense of sorrow and guilt." Make sure that you don't forget the comma when using the coordinating conjunction but.

Let's check your understanding.

"Which of the following words will help you "convey the contrast between how the farmers "and Hogarth feel? "A: and.

"B: but.

"C: so.

Or "D: because?" Pause the video and select the correct answer.

The answer is B.

Well done.

The coordinating conjunction but is used to contrast two main clauses, and this will be really effective for showing the contrast between how the farmers and Hogarth felt after the Iron Man was buried.

It's now time for your first task, and it is a talk task.

"Say the first few sentences of part two of the build-up.

"Make sure you use your plan and include the following: "show and tell language that builds suspense "and conveys emotions.

"Precise vocabulary from your plan, "including fronted adverbials.

"And a range of sentence types, "including an adverbial complex sentence.

"You can use these starting sentences to support you.

"The next morning, the farmers awoke to.

." "As they.

." Here complete the adverbial subordinate clause with a piece of show and tell.

"They decided to.

." And then complete the main clause.

Pause the video and orally rehearse the first few sentences of paragraph two of the build-up now.

Welcome back.

It was so wonderful to listen to you orally rehearsing your sentences.

You did a great job at including all of the necessary linguistic features.

Let's take a look at a good example together now.

"The next morning, the farmers awoke "to discover the horrid sight of their machinery missing.

"They could not believe their eyes.

"As they trembled with anger, "they decided to dig a gargantuan hole "to trap the ruinous giant.

"Anxiously, they waited, but he never came.

"One day, Hogarth finally spotted the Iron Man again "and he cleverly lured him towards the hole "with the sound of clinking metal." For show and tell language that builds suspense and conveys emotions, it begins by saying, "The farmers awoke to discover the horrid sight "of their machinery missing? "They could not believe their eyes." Then it intensifies.

"They trembled with anger." "They decided to trap the giant.

"Anxiously they waited." So there is lots of show and tell here.

For precise vocabulary from the plan, including fronted adverbials.

Well, we can see "a gargantuan hole", that is a very precise and ambitious adjective.

"Ruinous giant," a really precise and ambitious way to describe the Iron Man.

We can see "cleverly lured," which is a great example of a verb and adverb to describe how Hogarth got the Iron Man into the hole.

And for fronted adverbial, we can see "The next morning", "anxiously" and "one day".

For a range of sentence types, including an adverbial complex sentence, we can see a few simple sentences in this example.

"They could not believe their eyes" is a good example of a simple sentence.

The next sentence begins with an adverbial subordinate clause, "As they trembled with anger." So that's adverbial complex sentence.

And we can see a sentence using the coordinating conjunction but, so that's a compound sentence: "Anxiously, they waited but he never came." Well done again for orally rehearsing your sentences.

I hope you are feeling really ready to begin your writing.

It's now time for the second part of our lesson where you are going to be writing part two of the build-up.

"When we write, we always try to do these things.

"Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

"Use punctuation where we know the rules.

"Vary our sentence types.

"Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

"Sound out words to spell them accurately.

"And read our sentences out loud to check they make sense "and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

"Here is the success criteria for your writing today." Listen carefully.

I will read it to you.

"I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan, "including at least two fronted adverbials.

"I have used show and tell language to convey emotions.

"And I have used a range of sentence types, "including a contrasting sentence using but.

"You will need to use the notes from your plan "for your writing today.

"Your plan contains notes for key moments 3 and 4." Pause the video and make sure you have your notes with you.

Great.

Now I know you have them with you.

I am now going to share with you a model of the first few sentences of paragraph two of the build-up.

Listen carefully.

"The next day the farmers woke up "and they discovered their machinery was missing! "They knew it had to be the Iron Man.

"As they bubbled with rage, they dug a colossal hole "to trap the destructive creature.

"Eagerly, they waited, but he never came." I now need your help.

Can you check my writing against the success criteria and see where I have met each point? Pause the video and discuss with your partner.

Thank you so much for your help checking my writing against the success criteria.

Let's go over how I met it.

For "I have used precise "and ambitious vocabulary from my plan, "including at least two fronted adverbials." So for precise and ambitious vocabulary, we can see "they bubbled with rage," "they dug a colossal hole." I refer to the Iron Man as "a destructive creature." "Eagerly they waited." And for fronted adverbials we can see "the next day," and "eagerly".

So I can tick that.

For "I have used show and tell language to convey emotions." We can see "bubbled with rage" and we can see "eagerly they waited." So I can tick that.

And for "I have used a range of sentence types "including a contrasting sentence using but." The first sentence is an example of a compound sentence because it uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses.

The next sentence is a short, simple sentence: "They knew it had to be the Iron Man." The following sentence begins with an adverbial subordinate clause, "As they bubbled with rage." So this is an adverbial complex sentence.

And the final sentence uses the coordinating conjunction but to contrast two points: "Eagerly they waited, but he never came." So I can tick that.

Thank you for your help checking my writing.

It's now time for you to do your writing.

Remember indent the first sentence and use the success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraph.

Pause the video and do your writing task now.

Well done for your fantastic concentration and hard work on writing part two of the build-up.

It's now time for you to read your writing back to check it makes sense and edit any punctuation errors.

You also need to check your writing against the success criteria and tick each box when you are sure you have met it.

Pause the video and do this now.

Well done for reading over your writing and reflecting on it.

I am sure you did a great job at making any necessary edits and improvements and meeting the success criteria.

Let's now take a look at a good example of part two of the build-up together.

"The following morning, the farmers across the land awoke "to the most dreadful site.

"All of their machinery was missing! "They found scraps of metal with teeth marks "and they trembled with rage.

"Furiously, they dug a gargantuan hole "to trap the destructive giant.

"They eagerly waited, but he never came.

"One day, Hogarth was in the fields "when he finally spotted the Iron Man again.

"Determinedly Hogarth lured him towards the hole "with the sounding of clinking metal.

"Boom! "When the Iron Man crashed into the pit, "the farmers joyfully rallied together to bury him.

"The town celebrated, but Hogarth suddenly felt "a strong sense of sorrow and guilt." For precise vocabulary and fronted adverbials, we can see "dreadful sight," "gargantuan hole," "destructive giant," "joyfully rallied together." And the fronted adverbials are; "the following morning", "furiously" and "determinedly." So we can tick that.

For show and tell language.

We can see that, "the farmers trembled with rage." There's the fronted adverbial "furiously." It says, "they eagerly waited," "they joyfully rallied together" and "the town celebrated." So we can tick that.

And for a range of sentence types, including a contrasting sentence using but, let's take a look.

So we can see a compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction and.

A bit further down, we can see a contrasting sentence using the coordinating conjunction but: "They eagerly waited, but he never came." Then we can see an example of an adverbial complex sentence where the adverbial subordinate clause comes second: "One day Hogarth was in the fields "when he finally spotted the Iron Man again." We can see an example of another adverbial complex sentence.

This time where the adverbial subordinate clause comes first: "When the Iron Man crashed into the pit." And we can see another sentence using the coordinating conjunction but.

The final sentence uses the coordinating conjunction but to show a contrast between the farmers and Hogarth's feelings after the Iron Man has been buried.

There are also lots of examples of simple sentences in this model.

So we can definitely tick that point.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

"In part two of the build-up, humanity responds angrily "to the Iron Man by trapping and burying him.

"There is a contrast "between how the farmers and Hogarth feel "after the Iron Man is buried.

"Show and tell can be used to convey emotions "and how these intensify and shift.

"Using a range of sentence type supports text flow "and helps achieve the text purpose.

"And we can use the coordinating conjunction but "to join two ideas when the two ideas contrast each other.

Well done again for your hard work in today's lesson.

You have now completed writing the build-up of your narrative based on the Iron Man.

I have really enjoyed teaching you.