Lesson video

Hi there, I'm Mr. Buckingham, and it's so good to see you here for today's lesson.

Now, today's exciting because we're going to be starting to write our diary in role as a Windrush passenger.

I think we're going to do some fantastic writing today, so let's make a start.

Today's lesson is called, writing the diary entry of a Windrush passenger before their arrival in the UK from our unit called "The Empire Windrush: Diary Writing." By the end of today's lesson, we'll be able to write the diary entry of an imagined Windrush passenger before arriving in the UK, using a conversational tone and a range of cohesive devices.

Now, this lesson builds on the plans we wrote in a previous lesson, so please have those with you if possible.

If you don't have one, don't worry, there's lots of help available to you in this lesson.

You'll also want to have access to the cohesive devices bank you can find in the additional materials for this lesson.

If you're ready, let's make a start.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

My turn, your turn.

Conversational tone.

Exclamative.

Verbless sentence.

And cohesive devices.

A conversational tone is the effect created by using language features, such as conversational sentence openers that may break normal rules of writing.

An exclamative is a word, phrase, or sentence that expresses strong emotion or surprise.

A verbless sentence is a conversational or informal sentence that does not contain a verb, breaking the normal written convention or rule.

And cohesive devices are language structures that develop text cohesion.

So here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by doing some work to prepare to write.

Then we'll write our present tense paragraph.

And finally, our past tense paragraph.

So we'll be writing two diary entries, as you know, for Celia, overall, in this lesson and the next.

Entry one is going to be written as the Empire Windrush leaves Bermuda, heading out across the Atlantic Ocean.

And entry two is written as Celia sits in the underground shelter in London.

So today we're writing entry one and it's gonna contain two paragraphs.

One, it's going to tell the present events and feelings as the ship leaves Bermuda and the other, the past events and feelings leading up to this, so from the moment Celia sees the advert in the newspaper.

Now, because a diary entry is a personal piece of writing, it's usually private to the person writing it and it has no actual intended reader.

It will often have a conversational tone.

And what that means is that in places, it will sound similar to spoken language.

And we're going to look now at some ways we can do that in writing.

So let's look at some language features we can use to make our diary entries have that conversational tone.

One is an exclamative.

An exclamative shows strong feelings and they end with an exclamation mark.

Now, you might have heard of exclamation sentences already.

An exclamation sentence might look like this.

"What an awful day it's been!" There's a verb, been, in that sentence.

Here's another exclamation sentence.

"How far away Jamaica feels!" There's the verb feels in that sentence.

But we can also do exclamatives without verbs like this.

"What a mess!" And, "How ridiculous!" So notice that some of these include a verb and others do not.

Because we're using using a conversational tone, which is similar to spoken language, we can use some of these exclamatives that don't include verbs like, "What a mess!" and "How ridiculous!" That shows we're writing as if we were speaking.

We can also use rhetorical questions.

For instance, "How often will I get an opportunity like this?" "How would we ever afford it?" "Why was I even bothering?" "How ignorant could a person be?" And, "What would I do in London?" So here the writer, Celia, is asking herself a question.

She's not expecting an answer because she's writing in her own diary.

That's what makes it a rhetorical question.

And look how we start with those question words, how, why and what to start off our question.

So can you match the beginnings and endings to make exclamatives and rhetorical questions appropriate to a conversational tone? Pause the video and have a go.

Well done, really good job.

So for A, we would say, "What a day it's been!" Well done, an exclamative.

For B, we'd say, "How did they live like this during the war?" A rhetorical question.

For C, we could say, "What a thrill it is to be here!" An exclamative sentence.

And then we could say for D, "Have I made the right choice?" Which is a rhetorical question.

Really well done.

So because a diary is a personal piece of writing, we can also start sentences in a more conversational tone than we normally would.

So here are some conversational sentence openers we could use.

We could say, "But all those thoughts vanished immediately." Now, your teacher's probably told you, we don't usually put but at the start of a sentence, do we? Usually, it's in the middle of a sentence to create a compound sentence.

But because we're writing in a conversational way, we can break that normal rule and have it at the start of a sentence.

We can also do this.

"And anyway, I have to make the most of it." We've put and at the start of a sentence.

We could even say, "So here I am!" We could say, "Well, that was that." And, "Much good that it did me." All of these are very informal, conversational ways of writing, which are appropriate for a diary.

We could even write verbless sentences.

That's sentences which don't have a verb in.

Now, we've usually learned, haven't we, that sentences contains a verb, but let's see how it can be done to show a particular effect.

We could write this.

"We had nothing." That has the verb had.

And then, "Not a penny," is our verbless sentence.

So can you see how it's emphasising the point in the previous sentence? So it doesn't contain a verb, it's a verbless sentence, but it's used for effect here to emphasise what came before.

Here's another one.

"I had to queue for hours for a ticket.

Hours and hours in the hot sun." "Hours and hours in the hot sun" does not contain a verb.

It's a verbless sentence.

It's emphasising what came before.

Here's another one.

"I ran over and gave her a hug.

A huge, smothering hug." "A huge smothering hug" is just a phrase, isn't it? It doesn't contain a verb, but it's really good for effect here, following on from that previous sentence.

So look, we've got the opportunity here to break some of the rules we've usually used in our writing to show this conversational tone.

So can you complete the passages here, using the words from the list on the right-hand side to create that conversational tone? Pause the video and have a try.

Well done, good job.

So we could write this.

"I knew it was too expensive.

Money was tight and I had no savings, not a penny.

But when I told Mother, she said I had to go.

"We'll sell the animals, Celia!" she smiled.

And I almost knocked her over as I hugged her." And then we're in London here.

"As the train sped through London, I looked around.

What a mess! Everything was grey.

Grey houses, grey streets, grey sky.

How different to Jamaica!" So we've got a wide range of things going on there, haven't we? We've got verbless sentences like, "Not a penny." We've got conversational sentence openers like but and and.

We've got exclamatives like, "What a mess!" We've got another verbless sentence here.

"Grey houses, grey streets, grey sky." And then at the end, we've got another exclamative.

"How different to Jamaica!" So an awful lot going on here that creates that conversational tone.

Really good job.

Now, we also want to use a range of cohesive devices to connect our ideas together as we do in almost every piece of writing.

Here are some examples.

We could use fronted adverbials of time, like, "Before long, I'll have my own class in London." We could use fronted adverbials of place, like, "Behind us, Bermuda is getting smaller and smaller." We can use a compound sentence.

"Housing will be hard to find and the weather will be awful." We could use an adverbial complex sentence where the adverbial clause starts with a subordinating conjunction like this.

"When the big day came, we took the bus to Kingston Harbour." We could write a relative complex sentence where the relative clause starts with a relative pronoun, like who or which.

"Uncle Jack, who was there in the war, has told me all kinds of things." And we can use a semi-colon to connect together two complete sentences like this.

"It's been a blur; I've hardly had time to stop and think." So all of these are effective ways of joining ideas together to improve cohesion, to improve the flow of our writing and how it links together.

So can you match each example to the cohesive device it uses? Pause the video and have a go.

Well done, great job.

So A said, "I had to queue for hours, but it was worth every second." That but in the middle is a coordinating conjunction, creating a compound sentence.

B, I can see we've got as.

As is used here as a subordinating conjunction to start an adverbial clause.

So this is an adverbial complex sentence.

And in C, I can see that relative clause in the middle, "Which was built during the war." So this is a relative complex sentence.

And for D, I've got, "After several hours with no luck." there's no verb there, is there? That's a fronted adverbial phrase.

So this is a fronted adverbial of time.

Really well done for matching those up.

And finally, to really push ourselves today, we might want to use a colon as a cohesive device as well in two different ways.

We can use it to introduce a list, for example.

"As we trudged towards the shelter, I was a mess of different emotions: exhaustion, anger, frustration, and disappointment." I've listed four emotions.

We can also use a colon to add an explanation.

So for example, "As we trudged towards the shelter, I sighed: I couldn't believe the hostility we had encountered." So in both cases, what comes before the colon is a complete sentence.

And for the explanation, what comes after is a complete sentence as well, and it explains what came before the colon.

Notice that the list follows the normal comma rules for a list.

We don't have a comma before and in that list.

So where could a colon be placed as a cohesive device in these sentences? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done, good job.

So in A, is it a list or an explanation? Well done, it's a list.

So we can say, "The scene was overwhelming:" and then we've got our list of items. "Journalists shouting, light bulbs flashing, and crowds watching" With no comma before the end.

For B, it's an? Well done, explanation.

So we're going to put it after anywhere.

And here what comes after the colon explains what comes before.

It explains in what way or why there's no housing for them to have.

And C, it's a list again.

So, "Uncle Jack has told me what to expect:" and then the list of things, "Food will be rationed, housing will be hard to find and the weather will be awful." But again, no comma before the end.

Really well done for getting those colons in the right place.

So let's do our first task for this lesson.

We're still preparing to write our own paragraph now.

So I can just show you an example diary entry.

And just like ours will do over the course of this whole lesson, one paragraph shows the present and the other the past.

And inside this text, I just want you to talk out loud and find an example of each feature.

So here's the diary entry and here are the features I want you to find.

Pause the video and see how many of them you can find.

Well done, really good job.

Here's our diary entry.

Let's take a look and find these features.

First of all, have we got conversational tone? Yes, for instance, we've got a sentence starting with but here, a conversational sentence opener, and we've got one exclamative here already.

We've also got some cohesive devices.

For instance, "Just after dawn," for instance, a fronted adverbial of time.

Before here acting to start an adverbial complex sentence and a colon to introduce a list as well.

We've got another exclamative here at the start.

And we've got rhetorical question here.

We've got verbless sentences like "Thank goodness for that." And we've got some feelings shown as well as we always do in a diary entry.

"I'm enjoying being warm and dry," and also some events.

"So I'm snuggled up in bed." It's an action, isn't it? An event that we're doing.

Really well done for spotting all those.

So now we're going to write our present tense paragraph.

Remember, this paragraph is showing our present events and feelings as Celia leaves Bermuda and we are writing in role as Celia.

So here's the example of how your plan might look.

So I've got my present event feelings and I'm saying things that are happening, like the Windrush steaming away from Bermuda and my feelings, like I'm excited to explore the world.

So remember, we are writing in the first person and in the present tense for this paragraph.

Now, I want you to use your own plan, but if you don't have it, you can rewind the video when you need to and use this one.

So we can take our notes from our plan and use cohesive devices and a conversational tone to connect them up into sentences that we can write.

So if I take this one, "Ocean ahead of us; everyone chatting," I could make this sentence.

"Ahead of us, there is only the open ocean; everywhere people are chatting excitedly." I've used two frontal adverbials, a place and a semicolon.

Here I've got another note.

Optimistic about seeing the mother country.

Well, I could write this: I know it won't be easy, but I'm optimistic: I can't wait to see the mother country.

How many people my age have had this chance? So here I've used a compound sentence and a colon as cohesive devices, but I've got that rhetorical question to keep that conversational tone going.

Here's one more.

Thrilled by the idea of having my own class in London.

So I can write this: before long, fronted adverbial of time, I'll be exploring the bright lights of London and I'll have my own class of little London children to teach.

How lucky I am to be on this ship.

So I've got that conversational tone with that conversational sentence opener and I've got an exclamative at the end there as well to keep that conversational tone going.

So can you see how we're combining our cohesive devices and our conversational tone features to make this really sound like a good diary entry? So how could you use cohesive devices or a conversational tone to write this note from our plan? Windrush steaming away from Bermuda; islands getting smaller.

Pause the video and have a think.

Well done, great ideas.

Now, there are loads of ways you could do this.

Here are some examples.

You could say, as the Windrush steams, present tense, away from Bermuda, I can see the islands getting smaller in the distance, an adverbial complex sentence.

I could say this: as I write this, the Windrush is steaming away from Bermuda and the islands are getting smaller with every second.

Or I could say Bermuda, our last stop before London, is disappearing into the distance and the Windrush is heading out into the Atlantic.

So there I've used brackets to add parenthesis as well to my sentence.

All of those are great options and I'm sure you thought of one too.

So let's orally rehearse this paragraph.

That means where we say aloud the sentences we'd like to write.

So I want you to use your notes or the ones you've seen here and say the sentences you want to write, trying to use the bank of cohesive devices from the additional materials to help you with ideas for how to connect up your sentences.

And I want you to try and use a conversational tone by using those conversational sentence openers, those rhetorical questions, those verbless sentences and those exclamatives.

Now, you won't get it perfect when you say out loud.

What we're trying to do here is to get some ideas going in our head and then when we write, we'll have much more time to get everything perfect.

And here's a way you could start.

You could start by saying, dear diary, what a thrill to be heading to London at last.

Pause the video and see if you can orally rehearse this present tense paragraph.

Really good job.

Well done.

Here's an example of what you might have said.

I've written dear diary, what's a thrill to be heading to London at last.

As I write, the Windrush is steaming away from Bermuda; the little island is growing smaller with every second.

Ahead of us, there's only open ocean; all around me, People are chatting excitedly.

I feel so exhilarated: I'm finally heading to London.

I know it won't be easy.

Uncle Jack, who lived there for a while, has told me what to expect: bad food, no housing and atrocious weather.

But I'm excited to explore the world.

How many people my age have had the chance to see the mother country? Before long, I'll be exploring London sites and I'll have my own class of children.

So I've tried to use both cohesive devices and a conversational tone there.

Really well done if you managed to do the same.

And if you don't feel like you're there yet, don't panic because when you write, it's gonna be much easier 'cause you'll have more time.

But hopefully rehearsing orally means you're much more prepared to do that.

So now we're ready to write this first paragraph and here's the success criteria we're going to use today.

It says, I've created a conversational tone using exclamatives, conversational sentence openers, verbless sentences, and rhetorical questions.

I've included a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas.

I've included both events and feelings and I've kept the appropriate tense for each paragraph.

And in this case, for this paragraph, that'll be the present tense.

But that doesn't mean every single verb in the sentence will be in the present tense, but that's the overall tense of our paragraph.

And of course, we can tick these off as we write.

So now I'm going to show you how to write this paragraph.

Okay, I've written my success criteria here and I've just started off with my first sentence.

I've got dear diary here and on the next line with an indent, what a thrill it is to be heading to London at last! So I've already got an exclamative as a start to my conversational tone now.

So I am writing as I leave on the Windrush from Bermuda.

So I think I'm going to start off by saying as I write, and describe an event, what the Windrush is doing.

So I'm gonna say as I write, the Windrush was.

Doing what? Oh good, you've spotted my mistake.

Yeah, actually it's not was, is it? Because we're writing in the present.

So it should be the Windrush, good, is.

So I'm gonna say as I write, the Windrush is doing what? Yeah, well done, is steaming away from Bermuda.

And I want to say that Bermuda's kind of looking smaller as we go further away.

So I think I could use, as a cohesive device, maybe I could use a relative clause here.

So I could say which is doing what? Yeah, that's not actually getting smaller is it? But I could say which is looking smaller every minute, every second.

I think second probably is a bit more dramatic and conversational, isn't it? So let's go with that.

Let's just check that sentence back.

As I write, the Windrush is steaming away from Bermuda, which is looking smaller every second.

Okay, I like that.

So I've described what's behind me.

I think I should say what's in front of me.

And this is again, kind of events, isn't it? Things that are happening.

So I'm gonna say ahead of us.

I'm gonna use a front adverbial of place to say what's ahead of us.

Comma after my fronted adverbial, and what is ahead of us? Yeah, I can say there, not there was, but there is, present tense, only open ocean.

Okay, and then what is there elsewhere? What are other people doing on the ship? Yeah, we could say there's lots of excitement, isn't there? So I could say all around me.

I could say people, I could say passengers.

I think I'm trying to be a bit informal.

So I think I'm just gonna say people, people are, again, present tense, are chattering.

Could say happily.

But I wanna show that people are excited to get onto the ocean.

So I think I'm gonna say chattering excitedly.

Okay.

Now, I'm just wondering, there's a close relationship between these two sentences, isn't there? We're saying ahead of us, there's the ocean and all around, people are chattering excitedly.

So there's a close relationship.

So I think I can make this a semicolon and join these two closely related sentences together.

That means I'm going to need to make this all to start with a lowercase a.

Okay, I like that.

Nice.

Okay, so now we want to start to think about our feelings.

So I'm going to describe the fact that I know it's not going to be an easy situation.

So although I'm excited and thrilled, I'm not naive, which means I know there's going to be some problems. So I'm going to say, I know this won't be easy.

And when I say this, I'm referring to being in the UK.

So I'm gonna say, I know this won't be easy.

Now, how do I know that? Yeah, you could say common sense.

But also, I've had this conversation with Uncle Jack, haven't I? So I think I'm gonna use a colon to explain here.

Why do I know it's not going to be easy? Well, I could say Uncle Jack's advice.

Or, hmm, it's almost not advice.

I think it might be words of warning.

I think I'll put that.

Uncle Jack's words of warning.

I think I could say are ringing in my ears or are still ringing in my ears.

So that's to show that I know that this could be difficult.

So Uncle Jack's words of warning are still ringing in my ears.

Okay, let's check that.

So I know when I have a colon, it has to be a complete sentence on either side and this one is, and the second part explains the first.

So yeah, I've done that correctly.

Okay, so now I think I want to use another feature of a conversational tone.

I'm going to start a sentence with but because we know that's a very conversational sentence opener.

So I'm gonna show contrast here.

His words of warning a still ringing my ears, but another feeling I have is just that excitement, isn't it, about exploring the world.

So I think I'll just say, but I'm and using a contraction like I'm is another way of showing this conversational tone.

So I could just say, but I'm excited to explore the world.

I'm showing a contrast between my worries, which Uncle Jack's given me and my own excitement.

And I've used an exclamation mark here because it's a strong emotion, isn't it? Okay, and another feeling I have is that optimism.

Remember that really good word? So I could say I'm optimistic too.

And I need to think now, what is it that's exciting me that I'm optimistic for? Maybe something to do with being in the UK.

Oh, I think I'm probably quite excited about exploring, I'd say in London.

So I think I'm gonna do a semicolon and I'm going to say soon, as a fronted adverbial of time.

Soon I'll be doing what? Yeah, I can say soon, I'll be enjoying.

What might I be enjoying? Yeah, I could say the sights and sounds of London.

I think that would be really good.

So the sights and sounds of London.

And this links back to the optimism, doesn't it? Because this is kind of what I'm optimistic about, how good London's going to be.

And I think I'm gonna finish this paragraph with another conversational sentence opener.

I'm going to use and.

So I think I'm gonna talk about my excitement about having a class to teach.

So I could say, and I'll have a class of London children to teach.

Now, notice how these last two sentences are actually using the future tense, aren't they? I'll be and I'll have, but the paragraph overall is taken from a present tense perspective.

So it doesn't always mean every single verb will be in the present tense.

So that's something to watch out for.

Okay, let's read it through to check we've met our success criteria.

Ready? Read with me.

Dear diary, whata thrill it is to be heading to London at last.

As I write, the Windrush is steaming away from Bermuda, which is looking smaller every second.

Ahead of us, there is only open ocean; all around, people are chattering excitedly.

I know this won't be easy.

Uncle Jack's words of warning are still ringing in my ears but I'm excited to explore the world.

I'm optimistic too; soon, I'll be enjoying the sights and sounds of London and I'll have a class of London children to teach.

Now, there's lots of strong excitement here.

So I'm wondering if I should change this to an exclamation mark at the end of my paragraph there.

Okay, let's check our success criteria.

Have we used a conversational tone? Well, we've got some exclamatives.

We used and and but as our conversational sentence openers.

We didn't have a verbless sentence or a rhetoric question here, and that's okay.

We won't use all of these in every single paragraph.

We've used a wide range of cohesive devices.

We had as to make an adverbial complex sentence.

We had colons and semicolons and some fronted adverbials as well, like all around.

So you've definitely got those.

And we've got a mixture of events and feelings.

So for instance, we described, didn't we, the events of the Windrush leaving, and then our own feelings and thoughts.

So we've definitely met that one.

And finally, have we got an appropriate tense? So we changed, didn't we, to make sure that this was is in the present tense.

And even though we've got some future tense at the end here, it's appropriate because I'm speaking in the present.

So we've definitely met that criteria as well.

Okay, you've seen me do it.

Now it's your term.

So use your success criteria and your plan to write, and I want you to refer to that bank of cohesive devices for ideas about how to connect ideas together.

Pause the video and have a go at writing this present tense paragraph.

Fantastic job, well done.

So here's an example of how this paragraph could look.

I've written dear diary, what a thrill this is.

We're finally on our way: the Windrush is steaming away from Bermuda as I write.

Everyone is chatting excitedly; in front of us, there's only the open ocean.

How exhilarating to be heading to London at last! I know it won't be easy: Uncle Jack has told me all about it.

But I'm off to explore the world.

How many people can say that? And I'm optimistic: it's the mother country I'm heading to.

Soon, I'll have my own class in London! So I've got my conversational tone with my exclamatives, my conversational openers, my rhetorical questions.

I've got my cohesive devices, I've got a colon, a semicolon, a fronted adverbial of time.

I've got some events and feelings.

The Windrush is steaming away and I'm feeling exhilarated there, and I've got my appropriate tense saying present tense, like is chatting.

Really well done for doing the same.

So now I'm ready to write our past tense paragraph.

And this one, remember, it's going to show the past events and feelings leading up to the departure of the Windrush.

So it's going back in time.

So remember that here, we've got the past tense to tell the details from our plan.

And your plan might look something like this, and you can rewind to look at this one if you need to.

So again, we can take our notes from our plan and use cohesive devices and a conversational tone to connect them up.

So I take this note, read in newspaper, yearned to go.

I could make this: as I flicked through the newspaper, I saw the advert for the Windrush voyage.

How I yearned to go! I've got an adverbial complex sentence and I've got my exclamative there.

I could use this note, queued for hours for ticket, exhilarated when got it to create this sentence or these sentences.

The queue, which seemed to include half of Kingston, went on for hours, relative complex sentence.

But when I finally held a ticket in my hand, I felt exhilarated.

There I've got my conversational sentence opener.

And finally, I've got hugged mother, looked at island, when would I be back? I could write this passage.

I hugged my mother tightly and I looked up at the beautiful island, which had always been my home.

When would I be back? So here I've ended with that rhetorical question.

So how could you use cohesive devices or a conversational tone to write this note from our plan? Felt impossible, too expensive, maybe in a few years.

Pause the video and have a think.

Well done.

Great ideas.

Again, there were lots of different ways we could do this.

I could say, but it felt impossible: the tickets were just too expensive.

Maybe in a few years I would have enough money.

So but and maybe, both conversational sentence openers there.

I knew that it could never happen.

Wages are low in Jamaica and we had barely enough money as it was, but maybe in a few years things would be different.

And finally, I could say impossible! It was just too expensive.

Maybe in a few years I could go.

So impossible there, a verbless sentence.

Really well done for your ideas as well.

Okay, so let's orally rehearse this paragraph now.

So you're going to use your notes or the ones I've shown you and I'd like to say the sentences you'd like to write using those cohesive devices and those features of a conversational tone.

And here's a way you could start if you'd like to.

I've written from the moment I first saw the advert.

So pause the video and have a go, orally rehearsing this past tense paragraph.

Well done.

Fantastic job.

Here's an example of what you might have said.

From the moment I first saw advert, I yearned to go on this voyage.

It felt impossible.

What a pipe dream! Maybe in a few years things would improve and I'd have enough money.

But then when I spoke to mother, she said I must go and that we'd sell the animals to make the money.

I hugged her close, grinning from me to ear: I just couldn't believe it.

The next day, I queued up with half Kingston for a ticket.

When I finally held it, I felt exhilarated! The next few weeks flew by in frantic preparations: cleaning, polishing, packing, and repacking.

Finally, we were on the bus to Kingston Harbour, quivering with nerves, but optimistic.

As I hugged mother, I wondered when I'd be back.

But I knew it was the right choice.

So again, don't panic if yours doesn't quite sound like that yet.

When we write, it's so much easier to take our time.

But we've prepared our brains to write by rehearsing that.

Good job.

So now let's write this paragraph.

I want you to use your success criteria and your plan to get this right and try and use those cohesive devices, and that conversational tone as well.

Pause the video and have a go at writing this paragraph.

Really good job.

Well done.

So here's an example of how this paragraph could look, and this is the first part.

When I read about the Windrush in the Kingston Observer, I was filled with a great yearning to go, but it was impossible: the cost was far too great.

I told my mother, who I thought would agree, but she told me, "Celia, you have to get on that boat.

We'll sell the animals to buy a ticket." I couldn't believe it.

I raced over and hugged her tightly, grinning from ear to ear.

The next day, I stood in a queue, which went on for miles, and finally, I held a ticket in my hand.

So I've got my conversational tone with my sentence openers.

I've got a range of cohesive devices here, like an adverbial complex sentence and a relative complex sentence.

I've got my events and my feelings.

I'm standing in the queue and I'm yearning, and I've got an appropriate tense by using the past tense, like raced.

Here's the rest of the paragraph.

I felt completely exhilarated.

Then, the next few weeks passed in a daze of clearing and preparing.

What a frantic rush it seemed! Finally, the day arrived and we were on the bus to Kingston, feeling nervous but optimistic.

As I hugged mother close, I looked up at the hills of Jamaica.

Would I see them again? As I boarded the ship, I sighed happily: I knew I had made the right choice.

Again, we've got that conversational tone with ours exclamatives and rhetorical questions.

We've got cohesive devices here, including a fronted adverbial of time and a colon.

We've got events and feelings.

My feeling is exhilaration, and I'm boarding the ship as an event, and I've got my past tense as well.

Really well done for your effort today in meeting those success criteria.

Great job.

So let's summarise our learning in this lesson.

We said that when we write a diary entry, we refer to both events and feelings, using both the past and present tense.

We said that we can create an appropriate conversational tone by using exclamatives, rhetorical questions, verbless sentences and conversational sentence openers.

We said that we can connect ideas using a range of cohesive devices, including different punctuation and sentence types, and we learned that we write best when we've orally rehearsed our writing beforehand.

Fantastic effort in this lesson.

I hope you're really pleased with the writing you've produced.

I'd love to see you again in a future lesson.

Goodbye.