Lesson video

Hi there, I'm Mr. Buckingham and it's so good to see you here for today's lesson.

Today, we're going to finish writing our narrative based on the climax of "A Kind of Spark".

I think we're gonna do some fantastic writing today, so let's get going.

Today's lesson is called writing the final sections of the climax including a flashback from our unit called "A Kind of Spark" narrative writing.

By the end of today's lesson, you will have written a third-person flashback section of the climax of the "Kind of Spark" and a first-person section showing the reaction to Addie's speech.

For this lesson, you will need to have access to the plan you've written in previous lessons and your summarised version of Addie's speech.

If you've got this with you, let's get going.

Here are our keywords for today's lesson and here's our lesson outline for today.

We're going to start off by preparing to write.

And then, we'll move on to our writing of both these sections.

So we've now written the first three sections of our narrative that covers part of the climax in "A Kind of Spark".

So we've written a first person, present tense paragraph, a flashback in the third person, past tense, and then a first person, present tense paragraph.

So we know that three of our sections of the whole piece I read in the first person, present tense in role as Addie, describing that speech she's giving.

And then, we've got two of our sections describing Maggie's story in the third person, past tense, which are our flashbacks.

So in our text, we know that we show these switches in tense and perspective between the flashbacks and our first person sections.

In the flashbacks, we are writing about Maggie using the third person and in the past tense.

For example, like this: "A man holding a flaming torch pointed," past tense, "at her, shouting, 'Take the witch away!' A witch? What on earth was happening? As strong, violent hands lifted her," not me, "off her feet, she cried out in fear." We can see that's in the third person and in the past tense.

We've used words like her as our pronouns instead of I and me.

And we've written in the past tense with our verbs like pointed and was happening.

In our first person section, we're writing in role as Addie and we're using the present tense here because we're talking about what is happening to us as Addie in the particular moment of her speech like this: "'Because of that,' I continue, 'I see the world a bit differently to some people.

' I gulp," not gulped, gulp, "knowing that I," I here speaking as myself, "have to persuade them; I have to make them understand." So we see here, we're in the first person using I and me and we're using the present tense for our verbs.

So we've gotta make that distinction in order to show that we're switching perspective and we're switching tense.

So which of these sentences are not likely to have appeared yet in our narrative? Think about the order of events we might be writing.

Which of these sentences refer to things we might not have got to yet in this section of our narrative? Pause the video and decide which ones we will not likely have seen so far.

Have a go.

Well done, good job.

Hopefully, you spotted A here.

It says, "I confess!" she croaked, "I confess." Now this is probably going to come in the last part of our flashbacks to Maggie's story, isn't it? Because this is the kind of final event in her story where she finally confesses under pressure from all those people.

So we probably haven't covered that yet.

And the same is probably too of C.

It says: As I rush back to my seat, more and more people begin to clap.

This is right at the end of Addie's speech, isn't it? We're seeing the reaction here of other people to what Addie has been saying.

So that probably comes at the end of our section about Addie, the end of our first person section of this narrative.

So again, we probably haven't covered that event in our narrative so far.

So we'll be covering both those events today if they're part of your plan.

So which of these passages are appropriate for a first person section of our narrative, the sections where we're in role as Addie? Pause the video and see if you can work it out.

Well done, great job.

Hopefully, you spotted the A wouldn't work there because it says "she," that's the third person and stumbled is the past tense.

B does work.

"I look," is the first person and the present tense.

For C, we've got, "I continue," the first person and the present tense.

So that would work in our first person sections in role as Addie.

And for D, we've got "Maggie woke," so we've got the third person and the past tense there.

So in our sections where we're writing as Addie, we are using the present tense and the first person.

Really well done if you spotted those.

So today, we're going to write in the final two sections of our narrative.

So we're going to have these final two paragraphs here.

We'll start with a flashback in the third person, past tense.

And then, we'll go back in role as Addie to the first person, present tense.

So remember, we will have finished that last section with a trigger that leads into the flashback we're going to write today.

So we had our first person, present tense section as Addie, that third paragraph, and it will have finished with a trigger.

And that trigger is our way in to change the perspective from first person to third person and the tense from present to past.

And for most of us, that trigger might have been looking at the name Maggie written on Addie's hand.

And that triggers the flashback.

So we're starting today with our flashback section.

So have a look at your plan.

What are your next few sections about what have you planned to include? Pause the video and have a look.

Well done, here's what Laura's planning.

She said: "My second flashback," so that's the first paragraph we're writing today, "is going to focus on Maggie being tried by the villagers, leading up into her confessing to being a witch because she's given up hope." So Laura's planned to show Maggie's trial and her final confession there where she finally gives up and admits falsely to being a witch.

And then Laura says, "My final first person paragraph," that's the last paragraph of the whole text, "is going to show Addie concluding her speech and the positive reaction she gets from the audience and from her friends and family." Yours might be different and that is fine, but this is what Laura plans to include in her two paragraphs she's going to write today.

So here's Laura's plan for that second flashback section, the first paragraph she's going to be writing today.

It says: Maggie stood in dark courtroom; crowd shouting up at her; furious.

"Devil's wife! She's cursed our children!" Spluttered; tried to argue; they shouted over her.

"Look at her! She's a disgrace to the village." Why were they doing this? Why? Head in hands - exhausted after days of questioning and shouting.

Had enough; "I confess, I confess!" It's only notes, but hopefully you can see there the narrative that Laura's trying to tell in this flashback section.

So which of these elements can you see in Laura's plan? Has she included things Maggie in the villagers do, things Maggie in the villagers say, and questions Maggie asked herself? Pause the video and see if you can spot these in Laura's plan.

Well done, good job.

Hopefully, you spotted that yes, she has included all of these features and we'll look at where she's put them in a moment.

So have a look at your own plan now for your flashback.

Where can you see examples of each of these elements? Pause the video and have a look at your plan and decide where you've shown each of these.

Have a look.

Well done, good job.

Hopefully, you spotted each of these in your own plan.

Here are Laura's notes that would fall into each category from the plan we saw before.

She said for things Maggie and the villagers do, we've got stood in dark courtroom, crowd shouting above her; furious, and she's got spluttered and head in hands.

So there's some things that Maggie does and some things that the villagers do.

Then what about things they say? Well, Laura put "Devil's wife! She's cursed our children!" "Look at her! She's a disgrace to the village." Those are both things that the villagers say.

And then, I think Maggie says, "I confess, I confess!" And finally, she's got some questions Maggie asks herself, "Why were they doing this? Why?" And we've got some repetition there as well.

So hopefully, you found you've got some notes in each of those categories as well.

If you don't, you can always add them in as you write your first draught today.

Really well done for getting those.

So here's Laura's plan now for her first person section, that's the final paragraph of her whole narrative.

Here's what it says.

I can see they're starting to understand; it's working.

They're looking at me intently.

"We owe these women an apology - and a memorial!" Step away from microphone; breathe out; Mr. Macintosh nodding.

Some applause; walk back to seat; more and more clapping.

Audrey whooping; Nina and Keedie hug; cover my ears.

So again, we've just got notes here.

We can really see what Laura's trying to say about what Addie is seeing and feeling and experiencing as she makes the speech.

So again, have a look.

Which elements has Laura included in her plan here? Has she included things Addie does, things Addie notices, things Addie thinks, things Addie says, and has she got a trigger to that next flashback? Pause the video and see which ones you can spot.

Well done, good job.

Yes, she's got things Addie does and notices and thinks and says, but you probably spotted that no, we don't have a trigger to the next flashback here and we'll talk more about why that is later on.

So have a look now for your plan for your first person section, your final paragraph of this narrative.

Where can you see examples of each of these elements in your own plan? Pause the video and have a look.

Well done, good job.

So here are some of Laura's notes that we could put in each of these categories.

For things Addie does, she's got a step away from microphone; breathe out; walk back to seat; cover my ears.

For things she notices, these are things she sees around us.

She's got, they're looking at me intently, Mr. Macintosh nodding, Audrey whooping.

The things she thinks I've got, I can see they're starting to understand; it's working.

And for things she said, "We owe these women an apology - and a memorial!" So that's our direct speech, isn't it? Which we took from our summary version of Addie's speech that we wrote in a previous lesson.

So hopefully again, you've got some notes in each of those sections.

If you don't, you can always add them in as you write.

Really well done.

So based on the language that's used in each of these examples, would each of these sentences be found in the flashback or the first person section of Laura's writing? Pause the video and have a look.

Well done, good job.

So A says, "As I walk," that's in the first person, isn't it? And the present tense.

For B, we've got "A crowd of angry villagers shouted up at her;" So shouted in her suggests the third person.

So this is our flashback section.

For C, you've got "Behind me, I hear." So the first person and present tense.

So this our first person section in role as Addie.

And for D, we've got "She spluttered." So straight away, we can see this is a third person in past tense, so it must be our flashback.

Really well done if you've got this.

So in both of these sections, the flashback and the first person section, we want to include of course the full range of sentence structures that we've learned across the year and the full range of punctuation that we know, including, of course, direct speech when people are speaking.

However, we know that our first person section is likely to contain also some slightly more informal language than the flashback because we are speaking in role as Addie in the moment as she speaks.

So we can show this informality in a few different ways.

We can use contractions like I'm and isn't.

We can write sentences that start with I like "I think they're starting to get it!" And we can use simple vocabulary and simple sentences sometimes.

Like "I can do this.

I can do it for Maggie." And "I grit my teeth." So all of those are ways of adding some informality to our first person section.

Let's take a look at these two examples from my model text, one from a flashback section and one from a first person section.

What sentence structures and punctuation do you notice in these examples that you've learned all the way through the year? What sentence structures do you recognise and punctuation do you recognise that you know from your work in English across the year? Pause the video and see what you can spot.

Well done, good job.

Let me highlight some of these features for you.

Hopefully, you can see there we've got an adverbial complex sentence with as as a subordinating conjunction and we've got a compound sentence using but as a coordinating conjunction.

We've got a colon to introduce an explanation.

"Keedie was right:" And then, we've got a non-finite -ing complex sentence using looking as well.

And all the way through, we've got some examples of direct speech as well using the correct speech punctuation with inverted commas.

Really well done for spotting this.

So here's an example from our first person section now.

What language features can you see in this first person example that give it a more informal tone? Pause the video and see what you can spot.

Well done, good job.

So maybe you spotted we've got some sentences starting with I.

"I let out a sigh." "I'm sure I see the hint of a smile." We've got some contractions like I'm, and you'll notice the language that's used in these particular sentences is not very descriptive or elaborate.

Now it's important to remember that we can still use the full range of sentence types and punctuation in this section, but we are just dropping in some more informal language and informal features as well to add to that idea that this is Addie's own perspective in the moment.

So we can still use all of our colons and semicolons and adverbial complex sentences and our different types of sentence structure, but we're also going to include these informal features to give it that informal tone we're looking for.

Really well done if you spotted those features there.

So do you agree with Sam here? Why or why not? Pause the video and have a think.

Well done, good job.

Hopefully, you said no, Sam is wrong here.

She says we need to include a trigger at the end of our first person section.

Hmm, well, here's what Andie says.

"Not this time! We aren't doing another flashback," after that first person section "so we don't need another trigger.

We're finishing our whole narrative with Addie's successful speech.

We might want to refer to Maggie in Addie's thoughts.

She could be reflecting on what Maggie might think about what she's achieved." But we're not going to flashback again.

So remember we're doing a flashback section first, and then finishing our whole narrative with a first person section.

So we should finish with the end of Addie's speech and maybe the reaction to that as well, depending on what you've planned to include.

So let's get ready for writing with our first task.

Before we write, as you know, it's really helpful to orally rehearse our ideas to help us know what to write or some ideas for you might decide to write.

So I want you to look carefully at your plan and think about the language features we've discussed and that you've learned during this year, including sentence structures and different punctuation.

And I want you to try saying the two sections of your plan aloud as sentences using, of course, a range of sentence structures.

And I want you to make sure you switch perspectives and tense for that first person section using more informal language as appropriate.

And of course, don't worry if it's not perfect.

You're going to have much more time to think when you're writing.

Our oral rehearsal is just about getting our first ideas ready in our brains so that it's much easier when we come to write.

So pause the video here and have a really good go at trying to say these two sections out loud using your plan to help you.

Have a go.

Well done, great job.

So I'm going to show you just a short sample of Laura's oral rehearsal for each of these sections.

I'm not gonna show you everything because you've seen a model text before, but here's a short sample of each of Laura's sections that she might have said out loud.

So here's a part of her flashback section.

"Maggie stood in the dark courtroom, feeling her heart pound in her chest.

Below her, a crowd of villagers were shouting loudly; their faces were red with fury.

'You are the devil's wife! You cursed our children!' They bellowed, shaking their fists angrily." So it's just a short section but it shows really clearly that Laura's using those language features that she knows and a really good description and using her plan really well in that flashback section.

Here's part of Laura's first person section.

"I can see it's working; They're starting to understand.

I see them looking up at me intently.

'We owe these women an apology - and a memorial!' I finish, raising my chin defiantly and letting myself smile.

Stepping away from the microphone, I breathe out deeply." Again, we've got a wide range of sentence types here and different sentence structures and punctuation.

But notice how here, Laura's used some more informal features.

She's got some contractions, sentences starting with I, and maybe slightly less elaborate language that she's used here to give it that slightly more informal tone.

So I'm hoping your rehearsal went really well and you're feeling really prepared to write now, good job.

So we've prepared to write.

Now let's go onto writing a flashback and a first person section.

So we're now ready to write those final two paragraphs of our climax.

And when we write, we do of course try to always do these things.

We always try and plan and say each sentence before we write it, perhaps whisper out loud or perhaps in our head.

And then, we'll use the punctuation we need too for that sentence where we know the rules that we need to follow.

And we're gonna try and showcase each sentence type that we know across our piece of work.

We're going to write letters neatly on the line in our joined handwriting, of course.

And we're going to use spelling strategies that we know to spell words accurately.

We'll also try and check and improve our writing when we think we are finished.

You might want to read back each sentence once you've written it to check that it's what you intended to write.

And if you think you've finished the whole piece, then spend as much time as you can going back through and checking it's exactly what you intended to write based on your plan.

So let's take a look at our success criteria for today.

It says, I've used a wide range of sentence types and punctuation.

I've written a flashback in the third person and the past tense using more formal language.

And I have written a first person paragraph in role as Addie in the present tense using some informal language features.

And of course, we can tick off this success criteria as we write.

Okay, now let's write the final two sections of our story.

Make sure, of course, the model text, if you've had it anywhere near, is no longer visible to you so that this is your best independent work.

And of course, you need to be referring back to your plan throughout as you write.

You might want to tick off the details in your plan that you've written to make sure you include as many as possible.

And of course, you can add extra ones in as well if you'd like to.

And remember, it's totally fine to change ideas from your oral rehearsal.

That was just getting your brain ready.

Now you can really elaborate on those ideas and maybe add some extra details because you've got much more time now that you're writing instead of just saying.

So pause the video here and have a go at writing these final two paragraphs.

Fantastic job, really well done.

Now I'm not gonna show you another example here because you've already seen our model text, but let's just take a few steps to make sure that we've met our success criteria.

First of all, I'd like you to read your work aloud to yourself and to make any small changes as you do that that you can see need to be made just by that first look.

And then, make sure you look for any places where you've met those success criteria and tick off any success criteria that you haven't yet done.

Pause the video and carry out these three quick checks now.

Well done, great job.

Hopefully, you've been able to tick off all the success criteria and you've produced a piece of work that you're really proud of, great work.

Let's summarise our learning in this lesson.

We've said that in this final part of the climax, we have shown a switch in perspective from third person to first person.

We know that we use the third person and past tense to describe a flashback to Maggie's story using a range of sentence types, vocabulary and punctuation.

And we use the first person in present tense to show Addie's experiences in the next part of her speech and we also use some more informal language in this section.

And of course, we know that referring to a plan and already rehearsing our ideas prior to writing helps us to do our best work.

Well done, you've now completed an entire narrative including two flashbacks.

I hope you're really proud with the work you've produced and really well done again for your effort in this lesson.

I'd love to see you again in a future one so we can edit and improve our work together.

Great work and see you soon, goodbye.