Hi everyone, my name is Ms. Voile, and welcome to today's lesson, where you are going to be writing your first diary entry based on "The Firework-Maker's Daughter." This lesson is based on this copy of "The Firework-Maker's Daughter," by Philip Pullman, and you may wish to refer to the book.

Pause the video now and get your copy.

Great, now I know you have your copy with you.

During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to, and you'll need a piece of paper and pen or pencil to write your diary entry.

I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn, let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is, I can write my first diary entry from the perspective of Lila.

Here are our keywords, let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

Hyperbole.

Past progressive tense.

Past simple tense.

Good job, well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

Hyperbole is the use of exaggerated statements or claims. Past progressive tense is a verb form used to refer to an action that was ongoing at a time in the past.

Past simple tense is a verb form used to refer to an action that happened in the past.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write, and in the second part, you will be writing a diary entry.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

You are going to be writing your first diary entry from the perspective of Lila in "The Firework-Maker's Daughter." The first diary entry is written at this point in time, Lila has just found out her father's views on her future.

You will use your plan to write your diary entry, and follow this structure.

You will write the date and the greeting.

Your first paragraph will be a recount of making fireworks in the morning.

Your second paragraph will be a recount of the conversation Lila had with her father.

And you will finish with a sign-off.

Your diary entry needs to include the following linguistic features.

Fronted at adverbials of time, a range of sentence types, hyperbole, past simple, and past progressive tenses.

Linguistic features are types of words and language that a writer carefully chooses.

The majority of a diary entry is written in the past tense to recount.

You will only shift into the present tense to communicate how you currently feel.

This happens towards the end of the diary entry.

By incorporating all of these linguistic features, you will be able to produce a really wonderful diary entry.

We can use the notes from our plan to form full sentences.

Using a range of sentences in our writing helps it to flow.

Let's take a look at these notes from our plan.

What happened? Learning fireworks in my father's workshop.

Thoughts and feelings, loved every minute of it, wanted to discover more, inspired.

We can take these notes to form a full sentence.

This morning, I was learning all about fireworks in my father's workshop and I loved every minute of it.

You will see that this sentence incorporates the notes from the What Happened section and the Thoughts and Feelings section.

I have used a fronted adverbial of time at the beginning of my sentence to show chronology.

And I have used the coordinating conjunction and, to form a compound sentence.

This allowed me to communicate what happened, and what I was feeling.

Let's check your understanding.

True or false, for my diary entry, I can just copy out my plan? Pause the video and select your answer now.

That is false, well done.

Now it's time to justify your answer.

A, I should use fronted adverbials to show chronology and conjunctions to form a range of sentences.

Or B, I should include rhyming words as well.

Pause the video and select your justification.

The answer is A, you should use fronted adverbials to show chronology, and conjunctions to form a range of sentences.

It is important that you don't just copy out the plan.

Well done.

Conveying emotions is a key feature of diary entries.

Emotions are often exaggerated in diary entries.

Exaggeration means overstating for dramatic effect.

It's the act of making something seem greater, more intense, or more important than it really is.

This is really common when expressing emotions.

I was exploding with happiness, or it was the very best day of my whole life.

Both of these are examples of exaggerating the feeling of happiness.

What methods have been used for exaggeration in these sentences? Let's take a look.

I invented the coolest fireworks ever.

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

Pause the video and have a little think about what methods have been used to exaggerate in these sentences.

In the first sentence, the word coolest has been capitalised and it is in its superlative form.

Capitalising words places emphasis on them, this is a method of exaggeration.

And superlatives describe something as better or worse than everything else.

Instead of saying, I invented cool fireworks, the adjective cool has been turned into its superlative form.

I have invented the coolest fireworks ever.

Let's take a look at the second sentence.

My heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

This is an example of hyperbole.

A hyperbole is an exaggerated statement or claim.

This would be considered a hyperbole because it's not true.

Her heart didn't actually shatter into a thousand pieces, but it is an exaggerated way of saying, my heart was broken.

Hyperbole is the use of exaggerated statements that are not meant to be taken literally.

Let's take a look at some normal statements, and see how they could be turned into a hyperbole.

We have, my heart was broken, which could become, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

We have, I was so happy, which could become, I was on cloud nine.

And it has been a bad day, which could become, it has been the worst day of my life.

These sentences are communicating the same feeling, but the hyperboles are exaggerating that feeling.

Hyperbole is commonly used in diary entries to exaggerate positive and negative emotions.

Let's check your understanding.

Match the emotion to the appropriate hyperbole.

For emotions we have, I felt lonely, I felt happy, I was surprised.

And for hyperboles we have, I was shocked to my absolute core, I had never felt so alone in my life, and I was over the moon with joy.

Pause the video and match these now.

Let's take a look at the answers.

For A, I felt lonely, this matches to I had never felt so alone in my life.

For B, I felt happy, this matches to I was over the moon with joy.

And for C, I was surprised, this matches to I was shocked to my absolute core.

Well done for showing a great understanding of hyperboles.

The recount in a diary entry is written in the past tense.

Can you spot where the past tense is used in the following sentence? Let's take a look.

This morning, I was learning all about fireworks in my father's workshop and I loved every minute of it.

Pause the video and see if you can spot the past tense verbs.

Hopefully you spotted, I was learning.

This is an example of past progressive tense.

And I loved, this is an example of past simple tense.

The used of past progressive and past simple tenses in the same sentence is an effective way to recount experiences and feelings.

You will notice in the first main clause, it says, I was learning all about fireworks in my father's workshop.

This communicates an ongoing action at a point in the past.

It then says, and, which is a coordinating conjunction, I loved every minute of it.

The second main clause communicates the feeling in past simple tense.

The past tense can be written in simple or progressive form.

Let's take a look at some examples.

Some examples of past simple tense are, I experimented, I learnt, I created.

The most common way to turn a verb into past simple tense is to add E-D, or there are other rules.

For past progressive tenses, some examples are, I was experimenting, I was learning, I was creating.

We turn a verb into past progressive tense by using the word was, and adding the suffix I-N-G to the verb.

Past simple tense communicates something that happened.

Past progressive tense communicates a continuation of something that happened, so it was ongoing at a point in the past.

The use of the past progressive and past simple tenses in the same sentence is an effective way to recount experiences and feelings.

Let's take a look at an example.

I was talking to my father about my dream of becoming a firework maker, and I felt so excited at first.

I was talking is an example of past progressive tense.

So the first main clause communicates a continuation of a past action.

And I felt is an example of past simple tense.

So the second clause communicates a past action or feeling that occurred while the first action was happening.

Let's check your understanding.

Which of the following sentences used the past simple and past progressive tenses? A, I learned about fireworks and experimented with ingredients.

B, I was experimenting with ingredients and I discovered a magic combination.

C, I was feeling really inspired by my achievement, so I told my father about my dream to be a firework maker.

Pause the video and select your answers.

The answers are B, I was experimenting with ingredients and I discovered a magic combination.

Here, I was experimenting is past progressive, and I discovered is past simple.

And C, I was feeling really inspired by my achievement, so I told my father about my dream to be a firework maker.

I was feeling is past progressive, and I told is past simple.

Well done for showing a great understanding of past simple and past progressive tenses.

It's now time for your task, and it is a talk task.

Say the first few sentences of Lila's diary entry.

Make sure you include the following.

Fronted adverbials of time, first person perspective, because remember, you are writing from the perspective of Lila.

Use of past progressive and past simple tenses to recount, and use of hyperbole to exaggerate emotions.

Your starting sentence could be, dear diary, this morning, I was.

And I.

This sentence stem is a helpful one to make sure you include past progressive and past simple tenses.

In the first clause, you could use past progressive tense.

And in the second, past simple tense.

Pause the video and do the task now.

Welcome back, well done for orally rehearsing the beginning of your diary entry.

You did such a great job at including the linguistic features you needed to.

Let's take a look at a good example together.

This morning, I was studying fireworks in my father's workshop, and I felt so inspired to learn more.

I was experimenting with different ingredients and I invented my very own unique firework.

All of a sudden, fiery red sparks flew out in little dashes, and then they spun in the air like tiny acrobats.

I was floating with happiness, I felt so proud of myself.

Let's take a look at where the linguistic features appear.

For fronted adverbials of time, my first sentence began with this morning.

Further along, I used the fronted adverbial, all of a sudden.

For first person perspective, you can see the use of the first person pronoun I throughout.

For use of past progressive and past simple tenses, in my first sentence, I was studying is past progressive, and I felt is past simple.

In my next sentence, I was experimenting is past progressive, and I invented is past simple.

We then have flew out, which is in past simple tense.

And they spun, which is also in past simple tense.

I felt is also in past simple tense.

And for the use of a hyperbole, instead of just saying, I was really happy, I said, I was floating with happiness.

This is a way of exaggerating my happiness.

Well done for your hard work preparing to write.

It's now time for the most exciting part of the lesson, where you are going to be writing your diary entry.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately.

Read our sentences out loud to check they make sense, and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Let's read through it together.

I have followed the layout features of a diary entry, date, greeting, sign-off.

I have written in the first person perspective as Lila.

I have used the past simple and past progressive tenses to recount key events, shifting to present tense at the end.

And I have expressed thoughts and feelings, including at least one hyperbole.

You should use your plan to help you structure your writing today.

Your plan includes notes about what happened, and thoughts and feelings for each paragraph.

Pause the video and make sure you have your plan with you now.

I am now going to model writing the beginning of Lila's first diary entry using my plan, and then we will check it against the success criteria.

So as you can see, I have my plan for paragraph one in front of me.

This has my notes about what happened, and thoughts and feelings linked to it.

I have my success criteria over here.

I have followed the layout features of a diary entry, date, greeting, sign-off.

I have written in the first person perspective as Lila.

I have used the past simple and past progressive tenses to recount key events, shifting to present tense at the end.

And I have expressed thoughts and feelings, including at least one hyperbole.

I have begun by writing my date on the top left hand side, and the greeting, dear diary.

So I can see, I am already following my layout features.

So I'm going to give that a little tick.

I have then chosen to begin my diary entry with the fronted adverbial of time, this morning.

Now, what piece of punctuation comes after a fronted adverbial of time? It is a comma.

Okay, great.

So, dear diary, this morning.

I'm going to go over to my notes now.

What happened? Learning fireworks in my father's workshop, loved every minute, wanted to discover more.

Now, I want to make sure I'm including a range of sentence types.

So I'd like to use a coordinating conjunction, and, to write about what happened and how it felt in one sentence.

So I could say, this morning, I learned about fireworks and loved every minute.

Hmm, but my success criteria wants me to include past simple and past progressive tenses.

So I could say, this morning, I was learning about fireworks and I loved every minute.

Okay, let's give that a go.

This morning, I was learning all about fireworks in my father's workshop.

Coordinating conjunction, and, and I loved every minute.

Full stop, great.

Dear diary, this morning I was learning all about fireworks in my father's workshop, and I loved every minute.

I have included past simple and past progressive tenses.

I haven't shifted to present tense yet, but that's because I don't do that until the end.

So I know I can tick this part.

Okay, experimented with ingredients, invented firework, felt proud of achievement, thrilling to watch.

I could try another sentence using past simple and past progressive.

So I was, I was experimenting with ingredients and I invented a firework.

Okay, I was experimenting with ingredients and I invented a firework.

Okay, so that's a good sentence using past simple and past progressive tenses.

But it doesn't sound very descriptive, or offer any kind of thought or feeling.

How could I do that? Hmm, maybe I could describe the firework.

So I was experimenting with ingredients, and I invented a cool firework.

Ooh, this could be an opportunity for a hyperbole.

The coolest firework, or the most amazing firework.

Okay, I invented, I'm gonna cross that out, the coolest firework.

I'm gonna cross my full stop out, and add in the word ever.

So that is also a superlative.

Great, so I know I can now tick this.

Let's check whether I have written in the first person perspective as Lila.

We have I, I.

Great, I am using the first person pronoun I, so we can tick that.

I'd like to include one more sentence that really focuses on my thoughts and feelings.

So I felt proud of my achievement.

I felt, so, in capital letters, proud of my achievement.

Now, I could end the sentence there, but I'd actually like to use a subordinating conjunction, because, to give a reason for why I felt so proud.

I felt so proud of my achievement because I had worked so hard on it.

Brilliant, I felt so proud of my achievement because I had worked so hard on it.

Now, that sounds a bit repetitive, having so twice.

So maybe I could say, because I had worked really hard on it.

Great, now I'm not going to tick this part of my success criteria yet, because I haven't shifted to present tense.

But I know that I have effectively used past simple and past progressive tenses in my sentences.

It's now time for you to begin your writing, and here is your first task.

Use your plan and the success criteria to write the first paragraph of your diary entry.

The first paragraph is a recount of making fireworks in the morning.

Remember to refer to the success criteria while you are writing.

And begin with writing the date on the top left hand side, and the greeting, dear diary, with a comma.

Pause the video and do the task now.

Welcome back, and well done for your hard work and concentration writing the beginning of your diary entry.

Let's take a look at a good model, and check it against the success criteria.

Friday the 23rd of January, 2024.

Dear diary, this morning, I was learning in the workshop with my dad and I invented the coolest fireworks ever.

The fiery red sparks flew out in little dashes, and then they spun in the air like tiny acrobats.

It was exhilarating to watch.

I felt so proud of myself because I have spent years trying to learn my father's craft.

I was on cloud nine.

Let's check this against the success criteria now.

For I have followed the layout features of a diary entry, we can see that this model has the date and the greeting, dear diary, so we can check that.

For I have written in the first person perspective as Lila, we can see that the pronoun I and the word myself have been used, so we can check that.

For I have used the past simple and past progressive tenses to recount key events, shifting to present tense at the end.

Well, we're not at the end of our diary entry yet, so we won't worry about the present tense part.

But let's look for past simple and past progressive tenses.

We have, I was learning, which is past progressive.

I invented, past simple.

Flew and spun are past simple verbs, and it was exhilarating is past progressive.

So we can tick that.

And for I have expressed thoughts and feelings, including at least one hyperbole.

We have the coolest fireworks ever, and I was on cloud nine, both of these are examples of hyperbole.

And there were other sentences that expressed feelings too, like I felt so proud of myself, so we can tick that.

Pause the video now, read over the beginning of your diary entry, and check your writing against the success criteria.

Well done for reading over your writing and checking whether you've included the correct linguistic features.

It's now time for your second task.

Use your plan and the success criteria to write the second paragraph of your diary entry.

The second paragraph is a recount of the conversation with Lila's father about her future.

Remember to refer to the success criteria, and to include a sign-off at the end of your diary entry.

Pause the video and do the task now.

Welcome back, and well done for completing your first diary entry.

Let's take a look at a model of the second paragraph together.

Just after, my dad told me that there was loads I didn't know about fireworks.

I felt deflated.

I told him there was nothing I wanted more in the entire world than to be a firework maker, but he said I should focus on finding a husband instead.

I couldn't believe it.

Honestly, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

I can't bear the thought of not making fireworks, it's my destiny.

Plus, girls should be able to do the same things as boys.

I think I need to visit my dear friend Chulak, because he'll know what to do.

Until next time, Lila.

Let's check this against the success criteria.

For I have followed the layout features of a diary entry, here we are looking for the sign-off.

And we can see it says, until next time, Lila.

So we can tick that.

For I have written in the first person perspective as Lila, we can see words like my, me, and I, so we can tick that.

For I have used the past simple and past progressive tenses to recount key events, shifting to present tense at the end.

The beginning of this paragraph is written mainly in past simple tense.

We can spot past simple verbs, like told, said, shattered.

But then at the end of the paragraph, it switches into present tense to express current feelings.

I can't bear, it's my destiny, I think I need to.

So we can tick that.

And for I have expressed thoughts and feelings, including at least one hyperbole, we have, I felt deflated, that is a feeling.

And for a hyperbole, we have, my heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

So we can tick that.

Pause the video now, read over your writing, and check it against the success criteria.

You can make any edits or improvements you need to.

Well done for reflecting on your writing, and producing a great first diary entry from the perspective of Lila.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

We use notes from our plan to form full sentences.

Fronted adverbials of time communicate the chronology of events in a recount.

Conjunctions are used to create a range of sentence types.

Hyperbole is used to exaggerate emotions.

And the use of past progressive and past simple tenses is an effective way to recount experiences and feelings.

I have really enjoyed teaching you this lesson today.