Lesson video

In progress...

Hello there.

I'm Mrs. Howley.

This is my friend Cedric, and we love stories and we love writing.

And today, we're going to continue writing the story of Awongalema using all of our senses.

In this lesson, we're going to continue writing a story using vivid description.

We're going to start with a game.

Then, we're going to do some shared writing, and then you'll get the chance to do some independent writing.

You'll need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or a pen, and of course, your brilliant brain.

Press pause now if you need to collect any of those things, and press play when you're ready to go.

In this unit, we're using one of the building blocks that great writers and story tellers use to make amazing stories, that vivid description.

Can you remember how we used vivid description? Ha, we use all of our senses.

That's right, Cedric.

Let's sing our senses song so we can remember what they are.

Seeing, hearing, touching things, smelling and tasting too.

I can use my senses, use my senses.

You can use them too.

Me and Cedric are going to play a game now.

Would you like to join in? This game helps us use our senses.

I'm going to sit in my imaginary window, and I'm going to look out and use my senses.

I wonder if you can guess where I am.

Cedric's going to ask me some questions.

What can I see? Tall buildings that reach right up to the sky and bright lights.

What can I hear? Horns beeping, and loud music.

What can I smell? Hmm.

Fumes from the traffic.

Where do you think I might be in my imaginary window? Tall buildings, bright lights, horns beeping.

That's right, I'm in a city.

I wonder if you might like to try the imaginary window game at home.

In lesson eight, we described the first section of the Awongalema story, the heat, the hunger of the animals.

In this lesson, we're going to describe the fast running of the lion down the hill and the crash and the pain as he hits the ant hill.

I'm going to remind myself of this part of the story using actions.

Would you like to join in? So, at the top of the mountain we hear the name, Awongalema.

Then, he ran, and he ran, and he ran as fast as the wind until crash.

Huh! He hit an ant hill and got bitten all over.

"Ow!" he screamed.

And as he brushed off the ants, he realised he'd forgotten the name.

Huh.

Should we try that again? At the top of the mountain, he heard the name, Awongalema.

Then, he ran and he ran, and he ran as fast as the wind until crash, he hit an ant hill, and got bitten all over.

"Ow!" he screamed.

And as he brushed off the ants, he realised he'd forgotten the name.

Great work.

We are going to have a go now at putting together our ideas and our description using the senses for that part of the story.

When we write, first of all, we think of our sentence.

We think it.

We say it, and we punctuate it.

Then, when we're writing, we think it again, we write it, and we read it back.

I need Cedric's help now to remind me of what we used to create vivid description.

Come on, Cedric.

Now, what do we use? Our senses.

That's right.

Let's think, first of all, what can we see when lion is running down the hill? How is he moving? Lion dashed.

Lion zoomed.

Oh, I like zoomed.

Lion zoomed, past tense verb.

Lion zoomed down the hill like the wind.

Great idea, Cedric.

Lion zoomed down the hill like the wind.

That punctuates it, capital letter.

Lion zoomed down the hill like the wind.

Full stop.

Lion zoomed down the hill like the wind.

Full stop Capital L, Lion.

Lion zoomed z oom e d for our past tense verb.

Lion zoomed down d own Lion zoomed down the, one of our tricky words.

Lion zoomed down the h ill zoomed down the hill like, split diagraph i, like zoomed down the hill like the, one of our tricky words.

Lion zoomed down the hill like the wind.

Full stop.

Lion zoomed down the hill like the wind.

I wonder what we might have seen when Lion was running, zooming, dashing down the hill.

What do you think we might have seen? Huh, clouds of dust.

Huh.

I wonder how those clouds of dust got there.

He's running so fast, he kicked up clouds of dust.

He kicked up clouds of dust.

That punctuates it, capital letter.

He kicked up clouds of dust.

Full stop.

He kicked up clouds of dust.

Full stop.

Capital H.

He He kicked k icked kicked e d on the end as our past tense verb.

He kicked up u p He kicked up clouds cl ouds.

He kicked up clouds of He kicked up clouds of d ust.

He kicked up clouds of dust.

Full stop.

Now, it's your turn to write a sentence about Lion running down the hill.

Lion dashed down the hill like the wind.

Lion sprinted down the hill like the wind.

Don't forget your capital letters and your full stops.

What might you see? Press play, when your ready to write your next sentence.

Now, we get to write one of my favourite parts of the story.

When the Lion crashes into the ant hill.

Which sense do you think we're going to use this time? I'll give you a clue.

It's when Lion crashed into the ant hill.

It is? We're going to describe what we could hear.

So, first of all, I want a short sentence.

An exclamation, that's just going to tell me a sound that we can hear.

What could we use? We could use crash.

We could use bang.

We could use bash.

I'm going to use bang.

So, we need a capital letter, Bang, but instead of a full stop, we're going to use and exclamation mark.

Bang! Great.

Now, I want a sentence to follow that to tell us what made that big loud noise.

He bashed into.

He crashed.

I've used bang.

So, now we're going to use crash.

He crashed into an ant hill.

He crashed into a giant ant hill.

Cedric likes that one.

He crashed into a giant ant hill.

Capital letter.

He crashed into a giant ant hill.

Full stop.

He crashed into a giant ant hill.

Full stop.

Capital B for Bang! Bang! And then there's my exclamation mark for my exclamation.

Bang! He, capital H.

He cr crashed cr ash e d He crashed into that's one of our tricky words.

He crashed into a giant giant.

Who can help me with the next two? He crashed into a giant ant a nt h hill h ill Full stop.

Bang! He crashed into a giant ant hill.

Now, you get to describe the moment of the crash.

I wonder if you'll use a sound word like crash or bang with an exclamation mark first.

Then, you might say, "He crashed into a giant ant hill." Full stop.

Into a huge ant hill.

Full stop.

Press pause now and have a go at writing your sentence to describe the sounds.

I wonder what else we could describe in this part of the story using our senses.

Hmm.

Oh, thanks Cedric.

He brought me my boxing up from lesson six.

Let's see.

What did we say we could describe in this part of the story? Huh, the pain of being bitten all over by the ants.

Great idea.

Let's see what happened to Lion.

Ants covered his fur.

Ants covered, past tense, his fur.

I'm going to use and to add another clause.

Ants covered his fur, and he, "Ahh!" he screamed in with he screamed with pain.

Yes.

Can you remember it? Ants covered his fur, and he screamed with pain.

Okay.

Capital letter.

Ants covered his fur, and he screamed with pain.

Full stop.

Ants covered his fur, and he screamed with pain.

Full stop.

Capital A.

Ants A nts Ants covered, a tricky word, but we'll show you that one.

Ants covered his h is his fur.

Ants covered his fur, then I'm using and as a conjunction and to join the two ideas.

Ants covered his fur, and he, one of our tricky words, screamed, scr eamed e d on the end for our past tense verb.

Ants covered his fur and he screamed with p ain.

Full stop.

Ants covered his fur and he screamed with pain.

I'd also like to write something else about how he feels when he's being bitten all over.

How do you think it would feel if you were being bitten all over by ants.

Huh.

Itchy.

Eew, so he's got got an itch.

So, he's got lots of itches.

That was one of our plurals.