Lesson video

Hello, everyone, my name is Miss Barron, and this is Marcel.

And we both love stories.

We love telling stories, we love listening to stories, and we love writing stories, don't we, Marcel? And today we are going to be doing some more story-writing together.

But before we do, I need to tell you about a dream I had last night.

In my dream, I faced a really big problem.

Now that problem was that I was being chased by a huge, angry, fire-breathing dragon.

Now, Marcel would like to ask me some questions about my problem.

Go on, Marcel, fire away.

What's your first question? How did I feel? Well, as you can imagine, I felt terrified.

I could feel the heat from its fiery breath burning at my ankles as I ran.

What's that? What was I thinking? That's a really good question.

Well, first, I was thinking, if it catches me, I'm going to be roast dinner! And then I thought, how am I going to escape? How am I going to outrun this dragon? I can't, it flies! So I thought, I need to think of a different plan.

What's your last question, Marcel? Another good question.

What did I do? Well, as I said, I couldn't outrun it forever.

It was faster than me.

So, I saw a cave.

As soon as I saw that cave, I ran inside and ran right to the back of the cave where I hid.

Luckily, there was a waterfall there, so I hid behind the waterfall, so that if the dragon breathed in its fire, the water would put it out and I would be safe.

So that is how I solved my big problem in my dream last night.

Now, I wonder if you've ever had a dream where you faced a big problem.

Why not pause the video now and tell your Teddy Talk partner or one of your toys or somebody else in your household about it? Get them to ask you the same three questions.

How did you feel, what were you thinking, and what did you do? So, if you'd like to, pause the video now and tell somebody else in your household about a dream you've had, where you have solved a big problem.

In today's lesson, we are going to be writing another section of our story, the section when Jack takes back the hen that the giant stole from his dad.

And we're going to be making the problem really matter.

And that problem is about not getting caught by the giant.

So in today's lesson, we are first going to do a quick grammar focus.

Then we are going to retell and sing the story section that we are going to write today.

We're then going to do some shared writing together, and then you are going to do a little bit of independent writing.

So in today's lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper to write on and a pencil to write with.

If you have your boxing-up grid from lesson six, you can get that, as well.

If not, don't worry.

You can use mine.

Pause the video now and go and get those things if you need to.

Amazing job, you are back and ready to begin the learning.

So let's start with our grammar focus.

You know you are learning how to use the personal pronoun I.

Now remember, we use the personal pronoun I to talk in the first person, either about our true selves or in role as a character from a story.

And remember, the personal pronoun I always, always, always has a capital letter.

Now let's take a look at how it's used in these sentences.

I'm going to read these sentences in role as Jack from the story.

So listen carefully, read along with me, and see if you can spot the personal pronouns I in these sentences.

How will I get my hen back? How will I escape without the giant catching me? I would like you to pause the video here and see if you can spot the personal pronouns I in those sentences.

Put your finger over them when you spot them so you know where they are.

Pause the video now and do that.

Now, today, we are going to write the section of story where Jack takes back the hen that the giant stole from his dad.

And when we write that, we are going to be looking at two problems. The first is the problem of unfairness.

Jack sees the giant with that hen, which really belongs to him, and he wants it back.

And the second problem is that of not getting caught by the giant.

Jack's safety is really at risk here, so he really has to be careful not to get caught.

And there are a lot of thoughts and feelings around that.

So we're going to retell that section and then we're going to sing it.

So to retell it, we are going to use our boxing-up grids to help us.

So you can use yours if you have it in front of you now.

If not, don't worry, you can use mine on the screen.

But I would like you to watch me and listen carefully to me tell this section of the story now, and then it's going to be your turn.

That's mine, thought Jack.

I want it back.

Jack knew what he had to do.

What if she wakes up? What if she catches me? She will eat me for supper! Jack's hands began to sweat.

His heart began to beat hard.

His legs began to tremble.

He took a deep breath.

I need to get that back.

Mom and I really need it.

Quietly, he opened the cupboard door and crept out.

So, did you notice that I talked about both of the problems there.

First, the problem of unfairness, that's mine, I want it back! And then the problem of getting caught by the giant.

What if she wakes up? What if she catches me? She will eat me for supper! Those are some of his thoughts around that problem, aren't they? And then we've got his feelings, his hands sweating, his heart beating hard, his legs trembling.

All of those show how scared he is.

Then he thinks a few more things, doesn't he? He thinks, that's mine and I'm going to get it back.

Mom and I really need it.

And then finally, we've got something that he does.

So he takes a deep breath, and quietly, he opens the cupboard door and creeps out.

So I would like you now to pause the video here and have a go at telling that section of story yourself, really bringing out those two problems of unfairness and not getting caught by the giant.

So pause the video and have a go at that now.

Fantastic effort.

Well done for retelling that section of story.

Now, to help us remember it even more, and to really bring out the problems that Jack faces, we are going to sing this section.

And again, we're going to do it to the tune of "London's Burning." So you know the tune now.

Now we're going to do it like we did in lesson eight.

I'm going to sing each verse at a time.

I'll sing the first verse first, and then you're going to join in with me.

Notice how I use my voice, my facial expressions, and my actions to really make the problem matter at this moment in the story.

So are you ready? Listening carefully.

♪ If the giant wakes up, if the giant wakes up ♪ ♪ What will happen, what will happen ♪ ♪ I'm scared, I'm scared ♪ ♪ She will eat me, she will eat me ♪ Okay, join in with me.

Are you ready? ♪ If the giant wakes up, if the giant wakes up ♪ ♪ What will happen, what will happen ♪ ♪ I'm scared, I'm scared ♪ ♪ She will eat me, she will eat me ♪ Brilliant job, now the second verse.

So watch and listen first, and then you're going to join in with me.

♪ That hen is mine though, that hen is mine though ♪ ♪ She stole it, she stole it ♪ ♪ It's not fair, it's not fair ♪ ♪ I must be brave, I must be brave ♪ Okay, are you ready to join in with me? Let's go.

♪ That hen is mine though, that hen is mine though ♪ ♪ She stole it, she stole it ♪ ♪ It's not fair, it's not fair ♪ ♪ I must be brave, I must be brave ♪ Well done.

Good job.

Did you really use your voice, your facial expressions, and your actions there to really make that problem matter for Jack? It's a really serious problem, isn't it? This is about getting something back that belongs to him, something that was stolen from his dad when the giant killed his dad.

And then we've got that second problem of not getting caught by the giant, which is huge.

That's life or death.

If she catches him, she's going to eat him.

So these are big, serious problems that really matter.

So let's sing the whole song all the way through now, from start to finish together.

Ready? Let's go.

♪ If the giant wakes up, if the giant wakes up ♪ ♪ What will happen, what will happen ♪ ♪ I'm scared, I'm scared ♪ ♪ She will eat me, she will eat me ♪ ♪ That hen is mine though, that hen is mine though ♪ ♪ She stole it, she stole it ♪ ♪ It's not fair, it's not fair ♪ ♪ I must be brave, I must be brave ♪ Brilliant job.

Well done.

Now I would like it if you paused the video here and had a go at singing that song again all the way through.

Perhaps you might want to sing it with somebody else in your household, maybe one of your toys.

Maybe you could even teach it to somebody else in your household.

So pause the video now and sing that song again all the way through.

So now that we've retold and sung the section of story that we are going to write today, we are almost ready to begin writing.

But before we do, we just need to remind ourselves of our toolkit that we are going to use to help us make the problem matter in our story-writing today.

Remember, there are five key things that we need to do to really make the problem matter, and to make the reader care that the character solves that problem.

So, let's just remind us ourselves what those five things are.

First, we need to make the problem hard to solve, don't we? We're going to say what might happen if it is not solved, we're going to say what the character is thinking, what the character is feeling, and what the character does.

Now, we don't have to do all of that in that exact order, but somewhere in our piece of writing, we are going to try and include all of those things.

Do you remember, there was a song that we sang to help us remember this toolkit? Let's sing it again.

Listen to me sing it first and then join in with me.

Our toolkit song goes like this.

♪ You've got to make the problem hard to solve ♪ ♪ You've got to say what might happen if it's not solved ♪ ♪ You've got to say what the character decides to do ♪ ♪ What they're thinking and feeling too ♪ Do you remember that song? I would like you to join in with me this time.

So, are you ready? All the way from the top, let's go.

♪ You've got to make the problem hard to solve ♪ ♪ You've got to say what might happen if it's not solved ♪ ♪ You've got to say what the character decides to do ♪ ♪ What they're thinking and feeling too ♪ Brilliant job.

Now we know our toolkit, we are ready to begin writing.

And we going to do that together with some shared writing.

Now you can see that I have got my toolkit written on the side of my page again, and that is so I can see it all the time that I'm writing to help remind me what I need to include in my writing today.

So we know that we are going to make the problem hard to solve.

Somewhere in our writing, we are going to say what might happen if it's not solved.

And somewhere, we are going to say what the character is thinking, what the character is feeling, and what the character decides to do about this problem.

So, let's imagine the scene.

Jack is hiding in the cupboard in the giant's castle, and he's watching through a tiny slit in the cupboard door as the giant orders her husband to bring her the hen that really belongs to Jack's dad.

And he watches as the giant tells that hen to lay golden egg after golden egg at the table.

Now, remember, first we've got that problem of unfairness, haven't we? Jack sees the giant with the hen that he stole from his dad.

Now, what is Jack thinking at that moment, do you think? So let's begin with a thought that Jack has as he's watching the giant with his hen.

Go on, what do you think he's thinking? Go on, tell me your idea to your screen now.

Those are some brilliant ideas! Well done.

So I'm going to share them with you.

I heard somebody say, "That's mine, thought Jack." Now I really liked that one because it shows that Jack feels this is really unfair.

He almost sounds angry about it.

I also heard somebody say, "That belongs to me, thought Jack," and I like that too for the same reason.

It really shows that Jack feels that this is unfair.

And finally, I heard somebody say, "I want my hen back, thought Jack." Now I like that one too.

That's really strong.

It shows that he feels unfair about it, and that he's going to do something about it.

Now, you might like one of those ideas for your story-writing today, or you might have a different idea of your own.

I think for our shared piece, I am going to choose the last one.

I like it because it shows his anger, it shows his sense of unfairness, and it shows that he's going to do something about it.

So my sentence is going to be, I want my hen back, thought Jack.

So say it out loud with me.

I want my hen back, thought Jack.

Let's count it on our fingers.

I want my hen back, thought Jack.

That's seven words, so watch me write it.

Now we're going to use our personal pronoun I here, aren't we, to start our sentence.

So capital letter, I want, want my hen, heh-eh-en, hen, I want my hen back, buh-ah-ack.

And it's C-K at the end of back, isn't it? I want my hen back, thought Jack.

Now watch me write thought, It's a tricky one to spell, thought.

So we can't sound out thought, we just have to learn it.

It's one of our sight words, thought.

T-H-O-U-G-H-T spells thought.

And then Jack, with a capital letter because it's his name.

I want my hen back, thought Jack, and a full stop at the end of my sentence.

So let's read it through and check it.

I want my hen back, thought Jack.

Brilliant.

That makes sense, doesn't it? That's our sentence.

Now it's your turn to write your first two sentences.

Use the options in the blue boxes to help you if you'd like, or you might have different ideas of your own.

Pause the video now and write your first two sentences.

Well done for writing your first sentence.

Now, while you were writing that, I wrote a second sentence for our shared piece.

And my second sentence is, he knew what he had to do.

So, so far, I want my hen back, thought Jack.

He knew what he had to do.

So we've got him thinking and feeling this unfairness, and then making a decision that he is going to do something to get the hen back.

Now, let's have another thought, but this time we're going to move on to the next problem that Jack faces, which is the problem of getting caught by the giant.

So what do you think he's thinking might happen to him if the giant catches him? So let's start our sentence, she will.

What might she do to him? Go on, tell me your idea to the screen now.

She will? Fantastic ideas! Gosh, and really serious ones, as well.

I heard somebody say, "She will lock me up, Jack thought." Now, if she locks him up, then he's trapped, isn't he? And that's really serious.

I heard somebody else say, "She will eat me, Jack thought." Now, that is even more serious, because if she eats him, that is the end of him, isn't it? And I heard somebody say, "She will roast me for dinner, Jack thought." Now, that one, also, really serious.

That would be the end of him, too, and it also makes it sound like she'd even enjoy doing it.

Now, I wonder which one of those options you would like for your story-writing.

For our shared piece, I think I'm going to choose she will eat me, Jack thought.

So I think I'm going to make it that really serious life or death problem of getting eaten.

So there's our sentence.

She will eat me, Jack thought.

She will eat me, Jack thought.

Okay, capital letter for my sentence.

She will, she will eat me, Jack thought.

There's our word thought again.

She will eat me, Jack thought.

I need a full stop at the end of my sentence.

Now, the thought is going to go in what we call inverted commas.

Now don't worry about these too much, but thoughts go inside these punctuation marks here.

She will eat me, Jack thought.

Right, now then, let's have something that Jack feels.

How is he feeling? I wonder if we can show that with something that his body does.

So do you remember when I retold that section earlier, there were some things that were happening to his body because he was so nervous and scared.

I wonder if you could tell me your idea, what might show that he's feeling scared at this point? Go on, tell me your idea to the screen.

Well done.

Oh my goodness, I'm loving these ideas.

I heard somebody say, "He felt his hands sweating." If our hands sweat, that means we're really nervous, scared.

He felt his hands sweating.

I heard somebody else say, "He felt his heart beating." Again, if our heart beats hard, that tells us we're feeling worried or scared.

And I heard somebody say, "He felt sweat drip down his face." Gosh, so he's even got beads of sweat dripping down his face because he's so scared.

Ooh, I wonder which one do you like for your story-writing? I think I'm going to choose the first one.

I like the idea of his hands getting sweaty.

So, he felt his hands sweating.

Say it with me.

He felt his hands sweating.

So capital letter again for my sentence.

He, H-E spells he.

He felt his hands, he felt his hands sweating.

Watch me write sweating, sweating.

He felt his hands sweating.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

He felt his hands sweating.

Now, I want to carry on.

I want to say two more things that he felt.

So I'm going to use your other ideas here, and I'm going to join them using the conjunction and.

So my sentence is going to be, he felt his heart beating hard, and, I'm going to add something else, his legs trembling.

I like the idea of his legs trembling with fear.

So my sentence is going to be, he felt his heart beating hard and his legs trembling.

Watch me write it.

He felt, feh-lt, felt, he felt his heart, heart beating, buh-ee-tih-ng, beating hard, and, so I'm going to join my two ideas using the conjunction and, and he felt his heart beating hard and his legs trembling.

His legs trembling, sound out trembling with me.

T-reh-mm-buh-ool-in-ng.

Trembling, well done.

He felt his heart beating hard and his legs trembling.

So, we're really showing his fear there with how he felt, aren't we? Let's read through what we've written so far together.

I want my hen back, thought Jack.

He knew what he had to do.

She would eat me, Jack thought.

He felt his hands sweating.

He felt his heart beating hard and his legs trembling.

Oh, now just reading that back, I've noticed that we need to add something so that this makes sense! That's why it's always so important to read back our writing.

We need something before this sentence.

She will eat me, Jack thought.

So we need to add something here, a question, because we need to show that she's only going to eat him if she catches him.

So let's have a question here.

A thought that Jack has to show his fear.

It's going to be, what if she catches me? So we're going to add in that question.

What if she catches me? She would eat me, Jack thought.

So to add it in, watch what I do.

I'm going to do almost like a triangle without a bottom, or a little hat without a bottom, and that shows I'm going to add something in here.

So my question is going to be, what if she catches me? And I'm going to write it at the top here so that I've got space.

What if she catches me? So capital letter, because it's the start of a question sentence.

What if she catches me, catches, me, and then a question on the end, because it's a question, isn't it? So what if she catches me? She will eat me, Jack thought.

Let's read it again from the top.

I think this is going to sound a lot better and make more sense now.

I want my hen back, thought Jack.

He knew what he had to do.

What if she catches me? She will eat me, Jack thought.

He felt his hands sweating.

He felt his heart beating hard and his legs trembling.

Now we are going to write our last sentence together, and that is about what Jack did.

Because we've made the problem hard to solve, we've said what might happen if he doesn't solve it, we've said what the character's thinking, what the character is feeling.

So let's have a sentence about what he decides to do.

So go on, tell me your idea.

What do you think Jack decided to do? Go on, say, "He," tell me your idea to the screen now.

Oh, those are some really good ideas.

Let me tell you what I heard.

I heard somebody say, "He took a deep breath." I like that because it's almost like he is trying to find the courage to do what he needs to do.

I heard somebody else say, "He stood up." So again, that tells me he's about to take action, he's ready.

And I heard somebody say, "He peeked through the cupboard door." Now, I like that one as well.

He might be opening the door a little bit wider just to get a better view so that he can think about how best to take that hen.

I think I'm going to choose the first one for our shared piece, though, he took a deep breath.

I like the idea of him taking that breath to get the courage to do what he needs to.

You might like one of the other ideas, or you might have a different idea of your own, but help me write my sentence first.

So my sentence is, he took a deep breath.

Say it with me.

He took a deep breath.

So, watch me write it.

He, capital letter, he, H-E spells he, took, tuh-ook, took, he took a deep, duh-eep, deep breath, watch me write breath.

He took a deep breath, full stop.

So there is our piece of writing that we are going to do together.

Let's read it all the way through one more time.

So from the top, read it with me, if you'd like, or you can just listen to me.

I want my hen back, thought Jack.

He knew what he had to do.

What if she catches me? She would eat me, Jack thought.

He felt his hands sweating.

He felt his heart beating hard and his legs trembling.

He took a deep breath.

So we've included everything in our toolkit there, haven't we, to really bring out the problems of unfairness and getting caught by the giant in that story scene, where Jack decides to take the hen back, that really belongs to him.

Now you saw me add in or edit in a what-if question to show Jack's fear around getting caught by the giant.

And I would like you to do the same.

You might even like to do two.

And those are some options in the blue boxes to help you.

What if she wakes up? What if she catches me? What if she snatches me? And then you are going to write a sentence about Jack's thoughts about what will happen to him if the giant does catch him, and those are four options in the blue boxes to help you.

So pause the video now and write those sentences.

Now I'd like you to write a sentence telling me what Jack felt about this problem.

And you're going to do that by choosing two of these options in the blue boxes, and then joining your two ideas together, using the conjunction and, just like you saw me do in our shared writing.

So pause the video now and have a go at writing that sentence.

And finally, you are going to have a go at doing two sentences on your own as independent writing.

So we've said what Jack felt and thought about this problem.

And now you are going to write two sentences to tell me what Jack did.

So what did he decide to do to solve the problem? He mm, and you might like to start a second sentence, he opened the door and mm.

So have a go at writing two sentences of your own, telling me what Jack did to solve his problem.

Pause the video now and have a go at that.

So now, like all good writers, we are going to reread and edit our work.

Now you saw me do that a bit earlier, and you saw me edit by adding a question in, didn't you? Now, I would like you to read your work through.

Check that you've included everything from our toolkit, and have a think about whether you would like to swap, add, or delete anything to make it even better.

And then you can do your five-finger check.

So checking for capital letters, finger spaces, spellings, full stops, and that your writing makes sense.

So pause the video now and reread and edit your work today.

Now that brings us to the end of our learning today.

And again, I would love it if you could tell me your favourite word or sentence that you wrote today.

I'll tell you mine first.

My favourite sentence, well, actually, I have two, and it's these.

What if she catches me? She will eat me, Jack thought.

So those questions I really like, because they show that Jack is really thinking about what might happen if he doesn't solve his problem, what might happen if the giant catches him.

And I think whenever we have problems, we think about that in our head.

We always think about what might happen if we don't solve them.

Now, can you tell me your favourite word or sentence? Go on, tell me to the screen now.

Some brilliant story sentences I am hearing today that really bring out why the problem matters.

I am really impressed with your hard work with your writing today, and I can't wait to do some more story-writing in the next lesson with you, and in the next lesson, we are going to write the chase scene, when the giant chases Jack down the beanstalk.

So, some really exciting writing for lesson 10.

I will see you then.

Bye!.