Lesson video

Hello, I'm Ms. Corbett and welcome back to another English lesson in the unit "Wild." Last time we wrote the beginning of the story, so today we're gonna write the middle and we're going to write to describe the problem in "Wild." Let's get started.

So by the end of this lesson you'll have written the middle of a story from the girl's perspective.

For this lesson, as always, you'll need your looking eyes, your listening ears, and your thinking brains.

You'll also need to warm up your hands to get ready for writing.

As well as this, you'll need somebody to talk to and you'll need something to write with.

It would be great if you could have some lined paper and a pencil.

If you need to go and get any of those things, as well as warm up your hands, can you do that now? Pause the video.

Great.

Let's get started.

Here are key words which are going to help us through our lesson today.

The first one is middle.

Middle because we are writing the middle of the story.

The next one is character.

Character, well done.

Setting, setting.

Suspense, suspense.

Fantastic.

We will be building suspense as we are explaining our problem.

And finally, perspective.

Perspective.

We know that we are writing from the girl's perspective.

Let's go one more time, just a little bit quicker.

Middle.

Character.

Setting.

Suspense.

Perspective.

Fantastic.

In our first part of our lesson today, we'll be preparing to write, so we'll be planning out loud what we are going to say and thinking about our success criteria.

We know that when we write we always try to use capital letters at the start of every sentence, and we end most sentences with a full stop.

Sometimes if it's a question, we use a question mark and sometimes, not very often, but sometimes we use an exclamation mark.

We always write our letters neatly on the line.

We also use our phonics strategies to sound out and spell words and for words that we can't use our phonics for, we try and remember some of the spellings of those common exception words.

Let's see if this sentence has met our success criteria.

The sentence says, "Where were we going?" Hmm.

Let's have a look at our first success criteria.

Use capital letters at the start.

Can you give me a thumbs up or a thumbs down? Has this sentence got that? Yes, I can see a capital letter at the start of a sentence.

And an exclamation mark, a question mark, or a full stop at the end? Can you see anything at the end? Thumbs up or thumbs down? No, there's nothing there.

Oh my goodness.

Let's come back to that one.

Are the letters written neatly on the line? Gimme a thumbs up or thumbs down.

Yes, they are.

Great.

Have we used phonics to sound out and spell words? Most of those words are actually common exception words which we spelled brilliantly.

Now my sentence says, "Where were we going?" Is that a statement sentence saying a fact or an opinion? Or is it asking a question? Can you tell me in 3, 2, 1.

Statement or question? 3, 2, 1.

Question.

(gasps) So what do I need at the end of my sentence? Do I need a full stop or a question mark? Tell me In 3, 2, 1.

3, 2, 1 question mark.

Let's see if we get it.

(gasps) There it is.

And now we have met all of our success criteria.

Thank you for helping.

So when you are writing today, you need to try and remember all of those things.

You are going to first of all, use your story mountain to remember all of the events in the story.

Last time we wrote the beginning of the story.

Today we're going to be writing the middle but it's really important to remember all of the events in the story using our sequencing language and our descriptive language too.

Can you pause the video and use your story mountain to retell the story? Off you go.

Fantastic.

I think that retelling the story with your story mountain is going to really help us write our story today.

So we are going to be writing the middle of the story.

Let's see what happens in the middle of the story.

Suddenly I heard a noisy, rattling car and two strange animals took me away.

(gasps) Then they tried to teach me how to eat, speak, and play, and I felt frustrated and confused.

After that I raced upstairs to hide under my bed, feeling lonely and lost.

Oh dear.

So in the middle of the story is where this problem is discovered and our problem is that our little girl was taken away.

(gasps) Okay.

Then these are the parts that we are going to write today.

So if we are writing the middle of the story, which of these events does not happen in the middle of the story? Is it the strange animals trying to teach her how to eat, speak, and play? Is it her being back in the forest with her friends, or is it her hiding under her bed? So which is not in the middle? Two of the events are and one of them is not.

Get your pointing finger.

Point to the event that is not in the middle of the story.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I hope you are all pointing to picture B.

This has happened at the end of the story and luckily we know it's a happy ending, even though the middle is all about the problem.

Well done.

We are going to plan out loud the first sentences about seeing the strange animals, and very excitingly, we are going to include a question, imagining that the girl is asking a question in her head because she's feeling so confused.

So I have got my words from my story mountain, suddenly and strange and different.

I wonder if they will help me.

Hmm, I heard a hmm hmm car and two hmm hmm animals took me away.

(gasps) I can see an exclamation mark.

Where were we going? I want you to focus on the first sentence.

Hmm, I heard a hmm hmm car and two hmm hmm animals took me away.

Let me think of what I would like to say.

Suddenly I heard a noisy, rattling car and two strange, different animals took me away.

Where were we going? Now it's your turn.

You are going to plan that sentence out loud.

You could use the same descriptive language and sequencing words as me or you can choose some different ones.

Listen to your partner and you have a go as well.

Pause the video now and off you go.

Fantastic.

This is one that I heard that I was really impressed with.

Suddenly, I heard a rattling, noisy car and two strange, different animals took me away.

Where were we going? Now I'm going to try and say it with punctuation as well and that will help me when I'm writing.

Then you are going to have a go.

So make sure you're listening.

Capital letter suddenly comma I heard a rattling comma noisy car and two strange comma different animals took me away.

Exclamation mark.

Where were we going? Question mark.

Fantastic.

Now it is your turn to include all of that punctuation and say the sentences out loud.

I would like you to say it in a whisper voice to your partner.

Pause the video.

Off you go.

Amazing.

Well done.

So in these two sentences we have got a capital letter to start our sentences both in suddenly and in where, because we are writing two sentences here, and we have got some sequencing language.

Suddenly.

Now suddenly is an amazing word to try and build that suspense and make the person who's reading your story a bit worried or a bit shocked or wanting to read more.

We've also got two adjectives with a comma in between because they are expanded noun phrases.

Rattling comma noisy car as well as strange comma different animals.

We've also got a question mark at the end and we have an exclamation mark after our first sentence.

Exclamation marks also help to build suspense and excitement and question marks are needed when we are asking a question.

That is quite a lot to remember, but I think you can do it.

Let's move on to what happens next in the story.

Next in the story, a new setting is introduced because the girl is taken to the house.

The strange animals try to teach the girl to do a list of things.

A list is a number of things that you might have to do.

You might have to buy like a shopping list.

Sometimes you may have written a list one after the other, but you can also include a list in a sentence.

Let's have a look.

I'm going to read the sentence.

Then they tried to teach me how to eat, speak, and play.

I felt frustrated and I felt confused.

Have a look at the words in purple, which is our list.

Eat, speak, and play.

I wonder if you can very quickly tell your partner what punctuation do you notice? You've got five seconds.

Off you go.

Can you tell me? (gasps) Well done.

You can see a comma because in a list we can put a comma between the items, but just before we get to the last item in the list, which in this case is play, we add and.

Eat comma speak and play.

Well done.

Let's see if we can try and see which of these lists uses a comma correctly.

I have got flowers trees and leaves.

Flowers comma trees and leaves.

Flowers trees comma and leaves.

Hmm, bit difficult.

Which of these sentences uses a comma in a list correctly? Get your pointing finger, and I've given you five seconds to have a think.

Five.

Well done if you are pointing to B.

A is incorrect, flowers trees and leaves because there is no comma at all.

C is incorrect because even though there is a comma, it does not need to come with and.

Before your last item you have and but no comma.

B is correct because we have our first item in our list, flowers comma trees, and before our final item we have and.

Flowers comma trees and leaves.

Well done.

Now the next part that happens in the story is the little girl is feeling.

We know she's feeling lonely and lost and she's showing us she's feeling lonely and lost by hiding under her bed.

So it's focusing on the feelings of the character.

Again, trying to build some of that suspense.

Let's try and plan these sentences together.

I have got the picture as well as my sequencing language and some adjectives that could help me that I might choose to use.

Hmm.

Mm, I raced upstairs and hid under the mm mm bed.

Now this sentence isn't trying to get me to describe the feelings of the character because we know she's feeling lonely and lost because she's racing upstairs to be on her own and to hide.

I do need two adjectives to describe the bed.

Now, to me that looks like a comfortable bed, but I need to remember that the girl doesn't like it and she's not used to it.

So I'm going to say, after that I raced upstairs and hid under the horrid, lumpy bed.

Do you think you could say that sentence for me? Let's say it together this time.

After that I raced upstairs and hid under the horrid, lumpy bed.

Now it's your turn.

Mm, I raced upstairs and I hid under the mm mm bed.

Off you go.

Pause the video.

Well done again.

I heard some amazing descriptions of the bed, some very interesting ones and some great sequencing language too.

Here's an example.

After that, I raced upstairs and I hid under my lumpy, wooden bed.

I like the inclusion of the material of the bed this time.

Let's have a look at what this sentence includes.

A capital letter to start our sentence and sequencing language.

This time my sequencing language is two words, after that, so my comma goes after that.

After that, I raced upstairs and I hid under my lumpy, wooden bed.

Two adjectives with a comma to describe the bed and I end my sentence with a full stop.

Let's get ready to practise that sentence out loud.

My turn first.

Capital letter.

After that, comma, I raced upstairs and hid under my lumpy comma wooden bed.

Full stop.

Now it's going to be your turn.

Can you say this in a robot voice to your partner and include the punctuation? Pause the video, and off you go.

Fantastic.

That was amazing rehearsal of your sentences.

Well done.

Now we've looked at all of the parts in the middle of the story.

I would like you to try and put all of those together and remember all of those details as best you can using your story mountain.

Suddenly I heard a rattling, noisy car and two strange, different animals took me away.

Exclamation mark.

Where were we going? Question mark.

Then the strange animals tried to teach me how to eat comma speak and play.

Full stop.

After that, I raced upstairs and hid under my lumpy, wooden bed.

Full stop.

You are going to have a go at that now.

Pause the video and off you go.

Well done.

Let me go through an example with the punctuation and hopefully I remember it all this time.

Off I go.

Suddenly, capital letter, comma.

I heard a rattling comma noisy car and two strange comma different animals took me away.

Exclamation mark.

Capital letter.

Where were we going? Question mark.

Capital letter.

Then comma they tried to teach me how to eat comma speak and play.

Full stop.

Capital letter.

I felt frustrated and I felt confused.

Full stop.

After that, comma, I raced upstairs and I hid under my lumpy comma wooden bed.

Full stop.

I managed it just like you did too.

Really well done.

Now it's time for our second part of the lesson, writing the middle of the story.

Let's have a look at today's success criteria.

The first one is, I have used sequencing language.

For example, after that, comma, I raced upstairs.

Remember, sequencing language, if it starts at the start, comes at the start of the sentence.

It is called a fronted adverbial which is why we need the comma.

We also want everybody to have used a two adjective sentence to describe characters.

For example, the strange comma different animals took me away.

We also today very excitingly want to use different types of punctuation at the end of some of our sentences.

They took me away! To show excitement or shock, end with an exclamation mark.

Or where were we going? Every question sentence needs a question mark.

And finally, we are going to try and use commas in a list.

We're going to list the things the strange animals taught the little girl to do.

The animals taught me how to eat comma speak and play.

Now I'm going to show you and you are going to help me write part of the middle of the story together.

I am ready to start today's writing.

I've got my book straight in front of me.

I'm sitting up straight with my feet on the floor.

I have my success criteria printed out for me.

I'm going to read it now.

I have used sequencing language.

I can get that from my story mountain, which I have right here.

I have used a two adjective sentence to describe characters.

I think I might be able to describe the strange animals.

I have ended my sentences with a range, which means different types of punctuation types.

A full stop, a question mark, and I might even use an exclamation mark, which I'm just going to add here.

I have used commas in a list.

(gasps) Yes.

Eat, speak, and play.

Okay, now I've got my story mountain right here to help me because I'm going to be writing the middle of the story.

Quite a lot of writing today, so make sure your hands are warmed up and ready.

I've already started my writing.

Suddenly I heard a noisy, rattling car and two strange, different animals took me away.

(gasps) Let's see how I've got on.

Suddenly, comma I heard a rattling comma, noisy car.

Full stop.

And two strange comma different animals took me away.

Exclamation mark.

Now I've used and to join two ideas but I think I might have made a magical mistake.

Could you shout it out at me? Well done.

When I join my two simple sentences together, I do not need a full stop here because my and swaps out for it, so I'm going to put a line through my full stop.

Suddenly I heard a rattling, noisy car and two strange, different animals took me away.

And I've used an exclamation mark to show shock about what has just happened.

Now we are going to imagine that we are the little girl and we're going to ask a question as if it's in her head.

We're going to ask where were we going? Now where is a question word, which means that my sentence will need to end with a question mark.

I've written down the word where because it's a quite difficult spelling.

Wh, and then these three letters here are making the air.

So I'm going to get a capital letter on a new line because I've run outta space.

Wh, air, where.

Where.

Were.

Were is another common exception word because the er is being spelled with these three letters here.

Where were we? Another common exception word, W and an E spells we.

Where were we going? Go, G and O, and then -i, -ng.

Can you say that with me, -i, -ng? Where were we going? I've asked a question.

So what do I need? A full stop, a question mark or an exclamation mark? If I've asked a question, what do I need? Shout it out.

A question mark.

Well done.

Where were we going? Now I'm going to move on to my next part.

I'm going to say, then let me get my story mountain.

Then they tried to teach me to eat, speak, and play.

(gasps) This is where I need my commas in the list.

Then, now I've got then, my sequencing word for me.

So I need capital letter, th-, -e, -n.

Because it's an adverb at the start of a sentence, I need a comma.

Then they, another common exception word.

These words are coming up a lot today.

Tried.

I wonder if you could help me sound that out.

Tried.

T-, r-, -I, -d.

Tried.

Then they tried to teach.

Could you sound out teach for me? T-, this is the -ea spelling, -ch.

Teach.

Then they try to teach me how to, here are my things.

Eat, speak, and play.

Say it for me.

Eat, speak, and play.

One more time.

Eat, speak, and play.

So I need my list.

What do I need to remember? Eat, comma.

New line.

Speak.

Sound it out.

S-, p-, -ea, -k.

Speak.

Eat comma, speak and play.

I don't need a comma 'cause it's my final item of the list coming up.

And.

A-, n-, -d, and.

Eat, comma, speak and play.

Sound it out for me.

P-, -ll, -ay.

Play.

P-, -ll, -ay.

Play.

Full stop.

Let me read it back.

Then comma they tried to teach me how to eat, comma, speak, and play.

Full stop.

My final thing that I'm going to write is talking about what happened next.

After that, I raced upstairs to hide under my lumpy, wooden bed.

Full stop.

I was feeling lonely and lost.

You're going to get on with your writing in a minute.

But first, let's just check my success criteria.

I have used sequencing language, suddenly and then.

I have used a two adjective sentence to describe characters.

I've talked about the animals being strange, different.

I have ended my sentence with a range of punctuation types.

(gasps) Can you spot all of the punctuation types that I've used to end my sentence? I'll give you five seconds.

Well done if you spotted an exclamation mark, a question mark, and a full stop.

I've definitely done that and I have used commas in a list.

Eat comma speak and play.

Full stop.

There it is.

I've met my success criteria.

Thanks to all of your help.

Now it's your turn.

Thank you so much for helping me with mine.

And now I think you are ready for your turn.

You are going to write the middle of the story, introducing the problem and a new setting.

Remember to keep an eye on that success criteria and don't forget to use your story mountain.

Pause the video, and off you go.

What fantastic writing.

I'm so, so impressed.

I've taken somebody's writing and I'm going to check off our success criteria.

Suddenly I heard a rattling, noisy car and two strange, different animals took me away.

Where were we going? These two sentences have used sequencing language, such as suddenly.

They've used two objectives such as rattling and noisy and strange and different, and they've also used a range of punctuation types, an exclamation mark to build that suspense and a question mark to ask a question as well as that.

Oh, hang on.

There isn't any commas in the list yet but don't panic, 'cause this isn't the end of the writing that you've done today.

You've done so much.

Then they tried to teach me to eat, speak, and play.

There's our commas in the list and we've used them correctly.

I felt frustrated and confused.

After that, I raced upstairs and I hid under my lumpy, wooden bed.

Where we're gonna tick off even more of our success criteria.

Again, what amazing writing.

I would like you to take a moment to have a look at your writing and double check you've got everything from your success criteria.

If you haven't, maybe you could make some changes now or try to remember next time.

Pause the video and do that now.

Fantastic.

Well done.

What a busy lesson.

Today we have learned that the middle of the story describes the problem that the character might be facing and we have done some amazing writing.

We have used sequencing language.

We have used a two adjective sentence to describe characters, and we've also ended our sentences with different punctuation.

And to top it all off we've also used commas in a list.

A fantastic lesson again everybody.

Well done and I'll see you next time.

Bye.