Lesson video

Hello everybody it is me Miss McCartney and in today's lesson we are going to be developing our writing skills.

We are going to try and create moods that move.

We are going to be crafting a paragraph about the section of the story.

When Kartikeya runs up the Himalayan Mountains.

I cannot wait to hear your ideas.

storytelling superstars to be as prepared as you can be today you will need a piece of paper something to write with and your wonderful creative brain.

You will also need another really important thing.

you will need your boxing up plan that we created together in lesson six of unit 10.

That is really important because it's going to help us with our writing.

If you need to go and collect anything, pause the video now.

Excellent.

Let's move on and see what we are going to be learning about today.

We are going to start with a game called How many more about, we are then going to look at some exclamations to use in our writing.

We are going to complete our shared write together, and then we will edit our writing just like a professional author.

Shall we get started with our game? Brilliant.

Okay, so I would like you to tell me more about kartikeya seeing the Eagles for the first time.

So when I say three, you are going to talk to me on the screen and tell me more about kartikeya seeing the Eagles for the first time one Two, three, your turn.

Excellent.

So I had some people telling me that the Eagles had huge yellow beaks and that they were squawking and that actually they were flying up and down as well as circling.

Fantastic.

Now, can you tell me more about kartikeya tripping over? Mm! Why was he tripping over? What did he trip over what made him fall over? Have a little think and on one two three Tell me more about kartikeya tripping over.

One two three your turn brilliant Some people were saying that kartikeya was in such a rush to beat Ganesh up the mountains that he was falling over rocks, tree stumps, and also some dead animals.

Eeew! Okay, I would now like you to tell me more about reaching the clouds.

Have a little think about how kartikeya might have been feeling thinking what his face might have looked like or what action he was taking.

After three Tell me more about kartikeya reaching the clouds.

one two three Your turn.

I had a wonderful idea where someone said that Kartikeya is jumping up and down as though he were on candy floss.

He was pretending that the clouds were candy floss, shall we do our last one now? Fantastic.

Tell me more about looking out over the world.

I would love to stand on top of a mountain and look over the world.

What was kartikeya thinking? I want to know what was he thinking when he was looking over the world? One two three Your turn Mm! That was a really interesting idea I heard from somebody that actually he was thinking about how to look after his people a little bit better, because as he was stood on top of the world, he was thinking about all the people in his community in his Kingdom.

Fantastic.

Tell me more everybody that's really going to help you with our writing today.

We are going to pan a few more exclamations to really really help us create the very exciting but dangerous mood of this part of the story.

So remember exclamations usually start with what or how they show surprise, shock or excitement.

Exclamations must have an exclamation mark.

So I would like you when I have finished talking.

You pause the video and write an exclamation for the tripping over, reaching, Oh, that should say reaching the top my top has got chopped off reaching the top of the mountain and looking over the world.

My example is how painful his knee felt.

Pause the video now to plan some different exclamations.

Exclamations exclamations for our writing.

Brilliant I saw lots of people using the word What and how and the exclamation marks.

Okay, so I'm just going to remind you by showing you my second event from my book thing up.

So I've got my picture of the mountains.

I have also got a summary of what happens so kartikeya rushes up the mountain.

He is soon above the clouds and the eagles circle below waiting for him to fall.

And we spoke about kartikeya feeling really exhilarated really energised and excited when he gets to the top and he can't see his brother, but he is also feeling really apprehensive, very worried about the eagles because they're really dangerous and really curious about what is going to happen next.

So you need to make sure you have read over event to on your boxing up.

And now I am going to pause this video because we are going to do our writing together.

So I will see you in a second.

Okay everybody today, we are going to be using our mood toolkit to create moods that move our reader.

I just love all those new sounds.

Now I have written down actions, appearances, thoughts and feelings.

And I think it's really important to have them at the side of your piece of paper to remind you and you can tick them off.

So pause your video now and write down our toolkit for today.

Brilliant, now we are thinking about Kartikeya rushing up the mountain.

So my first question is, which verb are you going to use? I am going to say Kartikeya darted up the mountain.

Have a little think whilst I'm writing my sentence about what word you are going to choose.

So I have got Kartikeya Kartikeya darted, darted.

Can you pause the video now and write down your words to describe how kartikeya got up the mountain.

Brilliant all of our words that I heard suggest that kartikeya was going really quickly and that action helps to create our mood of rapid excitement.

So Kartikeya here, darted up the mountain mountain.

without without without.

now rather than thinking about what he did do I want us to think about what kartikeya didn't do so for example he was darting so quickly he didn't stop to catch his breath.

what else didn't Kartikeya do because he was moving so quickly.

have a little think now.

I had somebody say he didn't look around remember, you are doing your writing after me but you can write down your words here to help you.

So kartikeya darted up their mountain without looking.

I'm going to extend my sentence.

looking at all of the beautiful.

beautiful is a tricky word.

It's one that we need to know.

So I am going to share my little rhyme that I use.

B-E-A-U-tiful without looking at all of the beautiful I'm going to say scenery without looking at all the beautiful scenery you might have said without catching his breath without a second thoughts.

Okay, fantastic.

He couldn't.

I have started a new sentence I've got my capital letter.

couldn't is another tricky word and a contraction.

So could I need to remember that I have got C-O-U-L C-O-U-L-D.

Could Okay, we need our apostrophe really clear because it replaces the letter O.

He couldn't help.

But think about now, I would like you to pause the video what you think kartikeya couldn't help but think about? pause your video now and have a little think.

Okay, I heard some people say kartikeya couldn't help but think about losing.

Some other people said his people or his brother or what he was going to have to face next.

He couldn't help He couldn't help but think about what would happen if he lost.

Let's have a little reflection on my toolkit.

So I have really just thought about Karttikeya's thoughts.

So I can definitely take that.

I think I can take some action as well because I have the word darted, that creates that sense of urgency.

Okay, excellent.

And he also is not looking at of of the beautiful scenery, which creates another action in my mind.

Now, I would like you to use one of those wonderful exclamations that you have planned.

I'm finding super tricky to say that word today.

exclamations, so he couldn't help But think about what would happen if he lost.

I'm going to say how humiliating how humiliating It would Oh, I've missed my it would be and I definitely need my exclamation mark.

So pause your video Now, if you would like to write down your exclamation you can write it down here so that you remember.

Let's read all together.

Kartikeya darted up the mountain without looking at all of the beautiful scenery.

He couldn't help but think about what would happen if he lost how humiliating he would be.

okay, I'm now going to say when you use the sentence then when, remember when has that silent H.

when he reached the summit.

Now summit means that top when he reached the summit, hmm, I'm going to say I would like you to think about his feelings when he reached the summit.

Pause your video now and think about his feelings.

Excellent.

I heard somebody say he felt on top of the world.

And that's a saying that people use when people feel the happiest they can possibly, but possibly be.

When he reached this summit.

He felt like he was on up on top of the world.

remember the O R sound after W sounds like aa that is spelt out 0-R, world and my last sentence stem.

I am going to say when he remembers the Eagles.

Oh, I just need to lift my piece of paper up a bit.

when he remembered the Eagles.

And I want you to tell me what happens to his appearance when he remembers the Eagles what happens to his face? Pause the video now and how Have a little think.

Great, I heard somebody say fantastic.

I was just listening to some more ideas.

I heard somebody say his face screwed up with concern Okay.

when he remembered the Eagles his face screwed up I'm actually going to change that I'm going to say this face wrinkles and it's the R sound that starts with a W.

his face wrinkled with concern.

I just think it sounds a little bit nicer, that phrase.

right.

So I have spoken about his feelings when he reached the summit.

And I have just spoken about his wrinkled face, its wrinkled up.

We need to read through and check that we have not made any mistakes.

So let's do that now.

Kartikeya darted up the mountain without looking at all of the beautiful scenery.

He couldn't help but think about what would happen if he lost.

How humiliating it would be when he reached the summit.

Hmm.

Summit.

Now this is a word that I don't think looks right.

So I if I were you would ask somebody to help me because actually summit has to ends and sometimes we just need to check with somebody else.

So that is Really good way to do it.

He felt like he was on top of the world when he remembered the Eagles his wrinkled with concern.

Okay, so I have shown you what you can do if you need a little bit of help checking a mistake.

you have got your toolkit and you have got your wonderful vocab that you have planned.

So I would like you to go and write this scene all by yourself.

Pause your video now and I would like to see beautifully crafted writing that creates mood that moves.

I hope that you really enjoyed crafting your very own writing.

Could you hold it up to the screen so I have a little look and see if I can see any actions, appearances, thoughts or feelings.

Oh, I definitely can, well done everybody, I'm going to send you some shine.

What we need to do now, and this is a really important part of being a writer, we need to edit our writing.

So you can see I have got in my first box punctuation.

So you need to go through your piece of writing, check that you have your full stops, question marks, exclamation marks, commas, inverted commas, and capital letters.

You might not have used all of those things today, but if you have used them, make sure you have got them back and at the bottom of your work, give yourself a nice check.

You need to make sure does it make sense? Have you missed any words that you need to add in and you go and hunt and you know that our focus has been creating moods that move our reader so check for your actions, appearance, thoughts and feelings and for each one of those things when you've either checked or fixed it, you can put a tick at the bottom of your work.

I am so blown away by everybody's hard work, and I would love to see some of it.

So if you'd like, please ask your parent or carer to show to share your work on Instagram Facebook or Twitter tagging @OakNational and @TeachTMcCartney #LearnwithOak.

Fantastic learning today, everybody.