Lesson video

Hello everyone, my name is Miss Barron.

I love stories, I love describing things, and I love singing.

So let's combine all of those things and start with a story song that describes how cold it is for the humans at the beginning of our story.

So are you ready to sing with me? We've sung it before.

It's to the tune of "London's Burning".

Ready? ♪ It is cold ♪ ♪ It is cold ♪ ♪ People shiver ♪ ♪ People shiver ♪ ♪ Help us ♪ ♪ They say ♪ ♪ Go and find us some fire ♪ Okay, so let's sing that again.

Join in with me with the actions.

Ready? ♪ It is cold ♪ ♪ It is cold ♪ ♪ People shiver ♪ ♪ People shiver ♪ ♪ Help us ♪ ♪ They say ♪ ♪ Go and find us some fire ♪ Now, the reason that we are starting our lesson today singing that song is because that is the part of the story that we are going to write about today.

We are really going to bring out how cold it is at nighttime for the humans and how much they suffer with our descriptive writing.

So let's get onto that, shall we? So I am really excited about today's lesson because today we are going to put everything that we have learned about how to describe vividly into practise with our writing.

As we write that opening scene of the story, making it really clear how much the humans are suffering at night with the cold.

So this is what the lesson today is going to look like.

First, we are going to do a quick spelling activity, then we will recap the part of the story that we are going to write today, then we are going to come up with some ideas about how we can use the senses to help us describe using a sensory grid, we will then do some shared writing together, and at the end of the lesson, you will have a go at writing a few more sentences on your own.

So in this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper to write on and a pencil to write with.

So pause the video now and go and get those things if you need to.

Fantastic, you are back with everything you need to start the learning today.

So let's begin with our spelling activity.

Today we are learning about the suffix ness, N-E-S-S, ness.

Now, a suffix is a letter or group of letters that we add to the end of a word that changes its meaning, isn't it? So the suffix today is ness.

Now then, let's read the root words together.

Read them with me.

Clever, helpful, willing, fearless.

Now, look at what happens to them when we add the suffix ness onto the end.

We get cleverness, read them with me, cleverness, helpfulness, willingness, fearlessness.

The spelling of the root word doesn't change, does it? When we add ness on the end.

We can see that those root words are still spelled the same in the longer word with ness on the end.

So that's really great for us, it means that we don't have to remember to do anything different to the root word when we add the suffix ness.

Now, let's just check we know the meaning of the word willing.

Willing, to be willing, it means to be ready, to be prepared.

So for example, we could say Coyote had great willingness to support the humans.

Now then, let's have a look at how adding the suffix ness changes the meaning of the word.

You might have spotted already that the root words, clever, helpful, willing, and fearless are all adjectives.

They are all describing words, aren't they? So when we add ness onto the end of them, how does that change the meaning of those words? Well, it turns them from adjectives into nouns.

Cleverness, helpfulness, willingness, and fearlessness are all nouns.

So for example, I might say Coyote showed great cleverness in tricking the fire giants.

I could say Singing Frog showed great fearlessness as she hopped through the forest.

Now then, let's have a look at putting some of those nouns ending in ness into your own story sentences.

So you've just heard me do that for some of them.

Here's another example, I admire Coyote's fearlessness.

To be fearless means to not have any fear, doesn't it? I admire Coyote's fearlessness.

Fearlessness is the noun.

So I would like you to pause the video and have a go at putting those nouns ending in ness into your own story sentences about our story, how Coyote brought fire to earth.

Pause the video and do that now.

Let's move on and retell the part of the story that we are going to write today.

I'm now going to use my story map to help me retell this first part of the story.

In the beginning, the world and all its creatures were made.

Most of the animals were made with fur to keep them warm at night.

But humans were made with hardly any fur at all.

At night, the bitter cold came and they were freezing.

How they suffered, they shivered and trembled violently.

They huddled together as closely as they could, desperately clinging onto each other, trying to get some body heat.

They curled themselves over like balls, gripping their knees tightly to their chests.

They pulled their clothes around them.

Their teeth chatted, and many of them sobbed.

They sobbed in pain and misery.

They were so cold they hadn't slept for days.

"We must have warmth at night," one of them cried out.

So, that was me telling that first section of the story, adding a bit more detail to describe how cold it was and how much the humans were suffering.

So I would like you to pause the video here and have a go at retelling that section of the story, adding a bit more detail to describe how cold it was and how much they suffered.

Pause the video now and do that.

So now that you've recapped the story, let's recap our toolkit for how to write description that is vivid.

Remember, these are all tools that great writers use to describe vividly.

So we're going to use some or all of these today.

So we're going to use the senses and show what can be seen, heard, smelled, felt, maybe even tasted at that moment in the story.

We're going to show the character reactions.

How do the humans react to being so cold? And we're going to use powerful adjectives and adverbs to help the reader really imagine the scene clearly.

So to help us before we start to write, we are going to brainstorm some ideas for how we can show the senses in our writing, and we're going to do that using a sensory grid.

So let's use a sensory grid to help us plan some ideas for our writing.

And we're going to come up with some ideas about what can be seen, heard, smelled, tasted, and felt.

So you can see I've started to write some of my ideas down already.

Let's start with what we can see.

So I think we can see freezing breath in white clouds.

Have you ever been so cold that when you step outside you can see your breath and it looks like white clouds or white puffs of smoke? I think we can see that.

I think we can see humans hunched over holding their knees to their chests tightly.

I wonder what else we can see.

Have you got any ideas to help me? What else do you think we can see the humans doing? Tell me now to your screen.

Oh, those are some brilliant ideas.

I heard you say that we can see people shivering, people shivering.

Watch me write people shivering, sound out shivering with me.

Shivering, sh, i, v, er, ing, shivering.

Brilliant.

Now, I'm writing your ideas down in purple.

So we can see people shivering.

I also heard you say that we can see people trembling, trembling means shaking, doesn't it? Trembling, t, r, e, m, b, l, ing, trembling.

Fantastic.

I heard you say that we can see people rubbing their hands together.

Rubbing their hands together.

We do that to keep warm sometimes, don't we? When we haven't got gloves, rubbing their hands together.

And I also heard you say that we can see their blue lips.

They're so cold that their lips have gone blue.

Blue lips.

Fantastic.

Now, let's have a think about what we can hear.

Now, I've written some ideas down already.

I think we can hear whimpers.

Whimpers are low kind of weak sobs, cries, like a dog does when a dog is hungry or wants to go on a walk.

So a bit like this , that's a whimper.

So I think we can hear whimpers, I think we can hear moans, I think we can hear the whining, wailing wind.

What else can we hear? Can you tell me your ideas to the screen now? Fantastic ideas.

I heard you say that we can hear sobs.

Sobs are heavy cries, aren't they? We can hear sobs.

We can hear coughs.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

I think they're so cold the wind has dried up their throats and they're coughing.

We can hear coughs.

I also heard you say that we can hear teeth chattering.

T, ee, th, teeth.

Chattering, ch, a, tt, er, ing, chattering.

And two Ts in chattering.

Fantastic.

So let's have a think now about what we can smell or taste.

That's a bit trickier.

What do you think the humans can smell or taste at that moment? Tell me your ideas to the screen now.

Oh, brilliant job.

Those are much better ideas than I could come up with.

I heard you say they can taste the bitter, cold air.

So bitter, b, i, tt, er, bitter, cold air.

They can taste how bitter and cold it is.

And I also heard you say that they can taste the dryness in their throats.

Dryness, now that is our spelling rule today, isn't it? We've added the suffix ness, dryness in their throats.

Fantastic.

And finally, what can they feel? What can the humans feel? Tell me your ideas now.

Oh, you are doing such an amazing job today coming up with such amazing ideas.

I heard you say they can feel bone chilling cold, bone chilling, wow! That's really powerful.

It's so cold they can feel it chilling their bones, bone chilling cold.

I heard you say they can feel biting, stinging cold.

Biting, stinging cold.

Gosh, it's so cold that it's really painful for them.

And I heard you say they feel numb.

Numb, now watch me write numb.

N, u, m, and actually it has a B on the end, so we can't hear that B at all.

It's a funny one.

We actually can't sound out numb.

So it has this silent B on the end, numb.

Numb, it means that we can't feel anything.

So if we're numb we can't feel anything.

So they're so cold they've lost feeling in their toes and their feet.

And they also feel tired.

I heard you say tired because they can't sleep.

They're so cold they can't sleep.

Brilliant.

So that is my sensory grid with my ideas to help me with my writing today.

Thank you for helping me.

I would like you to pause the video now and write down some ideas in your sensory grid.

So let's begin writing.

You can see that I've got my sensory grid with me, and I would like you to make sure that you have yours with you too, because that is full of ideas that we can use for our writing now.

So I'm just going to pop that to the side.

Now then, you can see that on my piece of paper I have written our toolkit for vivid description on the side of my page.

And that's to remind me of the things that I need to do in my piece of writing today.

So I would like you to pause the video here and write your toolkit, either on the side of your page or on another piece of paper to the side of you.

Pause the video and do that.

Brilliant, you're back.

Now, you can also see that I have got a box where I am going to write down some of my ideas today.

Some ideas that I could choose from to help me write.

So again, you might like to have a box on your piece of paper, or you might like to write these on a piece of paper to the side of you.

So let's begin.

We are going to start by saying that the night had come.

The night had come.

Now, I would like an adjective to describe the night.

So the night had come, I'm going to start with a capital letter.

The night.

Now then, I could use some of these different adjectives.

So have a look at the ones that I'm going to write down in my ideas box.

I could say icy, the icy night.

I could say cold, the cold night.

I could use the word freezing to describe the night, or I could use the adjective bitter.

Any one of those tells me how cold the night is.

I want to make it seem really painful for the humans.

So I think for my piece of writing, I am going to choose the word freezing.

You could choose any one of those words, or you might have a different idea of your own.

You might like to jot these words down in your ideas box now.

So I'm going to write my sentence, the freezing, and I'm going to write this word in a different colour to show you which words you are going to choose to make your own.

The freezing night, n, igh, t, night, had come.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

The freezing night had come.

Now, I'm going to say what we can see the humans doing now.

So let me start my sentence.

The humans huddled together.

I think that's what we can see them doing.

And I've got that idea from my sensory grid.

The humans huddled, huddled, h, u, dd, l, ed.

Now, it sounds like the d sound on the end, but it's spelled E-D because it's a past tense verb.

The humans huddled together.

Now, how did they huddle together? Let's use an adverb here.

Remember we need to use adverbs, don't we? So how did they huddle together? I could choose from these adverbs, have a look, see which one you like.

Closely, they might have huddled together closely.

Worriedly, fearfully.

You might like to jot these ideas down too.

I think for mine I'm going to choose closely.

They huddled together closely, desperately trying to get some body heat.

So I'm going to use closely.

You might like that idea too, or you might choose one of the other ideas and then full stop at the end of my sentence.

The humans huddled together closely.

Now, let's have a sound.

What can we hear them saying? I think we can hear one of them saying, "Get closer." So I'm going to open my inverted commas because this is what they say.

So, "Get closer." "Get closer," close my inverted commas because they've stopped speaking now.

"Get closer," one of them.

Now, go on, you help me out here? So instead of said, what verb could I use? I think maybe I could use whimpered.

Have you got any other ideas for me? "Get closer," one of them.

So how did they say that? Go on, tell me your ideas now to the screen.

Oh, fantastic ideas.

So I heard you say groaned.

I heard you say grumbled.

These are both great because they show that they're really miserable and unhappy.

And there was my idea, whimpered, wasn't there? Whimpered.

"Get closer," one of them.

So I like the idea that you gave me, groaned.

I think they would be groaning at this point because they're just so miserable in the cold.

So I'm going to choose groaned.

You might like one of the other ideas.

You might be jotting them down as you go too to help you remember them.

Full stop at the end of my sentence.

Now, we're going to say what we can see them doing.

They.

Go on, you give me an idea here.

What can we see them doing to try and keep warm? Tell me your ideas to the screen.

Oh, fantastic ideas.

Well done.

I heard you say pulled their clothes around them.

They would do that to try and get warm, wouldn't they? Pulled their clothes around them.

I heard you say rubbed their hands together.

They would also do that, wouldn't they? To try and get warm.

Rubbed their hands together, rubbed their hands together.

I also heard you say that they might curl themselves into balls.

So let's put it in the past tense, curled themselves into balls.

So we've got.

Oh, I think I omitted my full stop.

So pulled their clothes around them, rubbed their hands together, curled themselves into balls.

Now, I'm going to actually choose two of those ideas and use and to link them in my sentence.

So I'm going to choose, they pulled their clothes around them, pulled their clothes around them.

Now, I'm going to use and.

So remember these phrases in purple you can change to make your own.

And I'm going to say curled themselves into balls.

I like that.

I can imagine them curling themselves up really tightly to try and get warm.

Curled themselves into balls.

And then a full stop at the end of my sentence.

They pulled their clothes around them and curled themselves into balls.

Now, you might like those ideas or you might have some different ideas.

Now, I'm going to say they shivered violently, they shivered violently, to show how much they were shivering.

Now, you might choose the verb shivered as well, or you might like trembled or shook.

You could choose from one of those verbs.

So they shivered violently full stop.

Now, let's talk about what we can hear.

So what sounds can we hear? I'm going to start my sentence.

The sounds of.

The sounds of.

Go on, tell me your ideas.

What can we hear? Tell me to your screen now? Oh, fantastic.

Those are much better ideas than I came up with.

So I'm just going to write them down so you can see here.

I heard you say chattering teeth.

We can hear the sounds of chattering teeth.

That's what our teeth do when they're really cold, they chatter, don't they? Like that.

I also heard you say that we can hear dry coughs, the sound of dry coughs.

I heard you say fearful sobs.

Gosh, what fantastic ideas.

You can hear them sobbing, fearful sobs.

Now, I think I'm going to choose two of those again and link them together with the word and.

So I am going to choose the sounds of chattering teeth, chattering teeth.

Now, you jot down some of your ideas, which ideas you like.

The sounds of chattering teeth and.

I am going to choose fearful sobs, fearful sobs.

I like that because it shows how unhappy, how miserable they are.

The sounds of chattering teeth and fearful sobs filled the air.

So remember these words and phrases in purple are what you can change to make your own for your piece of writing.

Now, it's your turn to write this scene of the story.

There were the ideas that I jotted down on the screen to help you.

Now, I didn't get around to writing about what the humans felt.

So I would like you to add that when you write your scene now.

So add a few sentences to show what they felt using that sense as well.

And there is your toolkit on the side of the screen to help you, although you already have that on your piece of paper.

So pause the video now and write this scene.

So like all great writers let's read our writing back.

You can read with me if you like.

The freezing night had come.

The humans huddled together closely.

"Get closer," one of them groaned.

They pulled their clothes around them and curled themselves into balls.

They shivered violently.

The sounds of chattering teeth and fearful sobs filled the air.

Painful waves of cold chilled their bones.

The cold stung their faces.

"We must find warmth," they sobbed.

So that is my finished piece of writing.

And you can see the sentences that I added while you were writing your scene are underlined in green.

So let's just have a look at those, shall we? Painful waves of cold chilled their bones.

So that tells us how the humans felt.

They felt these painful waves of cold chilling them right to the bone, right to the core.

The cold stung their faces.

So again, what do they feel against their faces? And then the last sentence is what we can hear.

"We must find warmth," they sobbed.

So I have added the sense of feel into those sentences at the end of my piece of writing.

I wanted to make sure I wrote about what the humans could feel too.

So let's have a look at our toolkit and have a look at what I have used.

Well, I've definitely used the senses, haven't I? I've talked a lot about what we can see the humans doing.

For example, we can see them huddled together.

We can see them with their clothes around them, curled into balls.

Now, we've definitely used the sense of sound, haven't we? We've talked about what we can hear, the sounds of chattering teeth and fearful sobs.

We can hear one of them saying, "Get closer." We can hear groans.

We can hear them say, "We must find warmth." And I've used feel, haven't I? We've talked about that.

Now, the whole thing is character reaction.

Apart from this first sentence, the rest of it all shows how the humans reacted to the cold by what they said and what they did.

So I've definitely used that.

And I have used adjectives and adverbs, haven't I? So let's just have a look at the adjectives I have used.

I've used the adjective chattering to describe the teeth and fearful to describe the sobs.

I've used the adjective painful to describe the waves of cold.

And the adverbs I have used to show how the verbs are done, closely to show how they huddled.

I've used violently to show how they shivered.

So I'm really pleased with my piece of writing.

Thank you for helping me with it.

And I've used almost everything from the toolkit.

And it doesn't matter if I don't use every single thing.

I haven't used the sense of smell or taste, but that's okay.

I don't need to use every single thing, it's writer's choice.

As long as we use most of it to make sure that our description is vivid.

So now that you've just seen me do it, I would like you to read your writing back through and check off the things that you have used from the toolkit.

Also think about if there's anything you would like to swap, add, or delete to improve your writing.

And then you can do your five finger check, which you can see on the hands there in the corner of your screen.

So that is to check for capital letters and full stops, to check your writing makes sense, to check you've used finger spaces, and you've tried with your spellings.

So pause the video now and do that so you can really think about what you've used from your toolkit to help you describe vividly today.

And that brings us to the end of today's learning.

Well done on your fantastic piece of writing today.

I really enjoyed writing that scene with you, describing really vividly the cold and the suffering of the humans at nighttime.

Now, in the next lesson, we are going to describe a scene with the fire giants.

So I can't wait for that.

I will see you in lesson nine.

Bye.