Lesson video

Hello everyone, my name is Miss Weerasekera and welcome to lesson nine in our unit of a little bird and the forest fire.

In our last lesson, we started to write the first two events in the middle of our story.

And today we're going to be writing the middle of the middle of our stories in the middle two events that happen the third and fourth.

We started creating some amazing drama using our middles toolkit to help us me to keep that going today.

There's lots of twists and turns in the story.

And we need to keep our reader engaged and excited by it, keeping them on that emotional roller coaster, up and down which they're definitely going to experience in this part.

We've got a lot to get done today.

So let's get started.

For today's lesson, you're going to need a piece of paper or an exercise book, a pencil, and of course, your brain to continue writing amazing and dramatic middle.

If you have a piece of writing from the previous lesson, it would be good to have that to carry on Writing underneath on the next page from that.

Then you have all of your story together in one place for the end and we can look at it as we go through.

If you don't have your previous piece of writing , or your boxing up, or pen and paper, pause now, go and find those things and then press play when you're ready to continue.

In today's lesson, we're going to start off with an oral game called mystery guess.

we're then going to recap our story map and our third and fourth event.

Then I'm going to model how I would write them.

I'll model one and then you'll have a go at writing your own.

For our mystery guest today, I am creating suspense and being vague about a type of animal or creature.

And I want you to try and guess what animal or creature I am describing from the hints in the story.

Okay, let's do the first one.

I had a low growl from outside of my window and went over to find out what was there.

At first I saw nothing, but then I noticed two shining eyes staring back at me from the darkness.

It had a long nose and orange fur.

As it sprinted away i noticed its long bushy tail.

What animal creature do you think is being described here? Give you a few seconds to have a think.

it's a fox good.

Those orange eyes that are long bushy tailed the fact that it's out and about at night.

Those are the clues that gave it away.

Let's do the next one.

I could hear scratching coming from behind the wall and was terrified about what it could be.

I had a quick scurrying and then from under a floorboard, I saw a twitching nose grey fur and two pink ears.

As it fully emerged I saw that its tail was long, Pink and hairless.

What creature Do you think this could be? Guessed.

A rat.

Scary.

Okay, last one.

There was a loud thumping on the roof and my heartbeat quickened.

I could see a shadow on the ground outside.

From the shadow i could tell it had two pointy ears, four legs, whiskers, and fluffy fur.

It sprinted along the rooftop and then jumped from one house to the next.

In the distance, I heard a quiet miaow'.

Like that last clue is a big one.

What do you think it is? A cat.

Fantastic.

Well done.

Okay, so this is like in middle of a story, you can create that sense of mystery, like describing parts of something but not giving all of it away.

That means that the reader has to keep reading to find out what it's about.

Okay, we're going to review our boxing up Now.

We're going to look at the next two boxes.

So that's the third and fourth in our boxing up just to remind us what's happening in those parts of the story but also what mood we want to create for our reader.

In our last lesson, we looked at the first two events in the middle of our story where the bird came to tell the animals about the fire, but their response was to run away.

And they asked her or the little bird to come with them.

And the little bird no, I love where I live, and I want to stay and protect my forest.

So our next two boxes, the little birds plan, we know that we left it, she just seen a sparkling glittering river and she had an idea.

So we're going to tell the readers what her idea is, we're going to solve that mystery for them.

So we feel like we're stepping forward, and she's going to be diving down, isn't she into the water, collecting water into her wings and going back just to keep going backwards and forwards.

So there's a little bit of a setback here because it doesn't seem to work very well straightaway, she keeps going she keeps going.

And it's starting to lessen fizzle a little bit, but the fire is very strong.

And then even more of a setback and something that probably makes the reader feel quite angry, is that all of the gods in the sky kind of laughing out laughing at her, which feels quite unkind, isn't it? She is Just trying to do her best alone to protect the forest.

So they're all saying she won't be able to do it, she's too small, she'll be burned to a crisp before she's able to do anything and then laughing.

So I think in this one, the first one want to create a little bit of hope at first, that the plan will work potentially also a bit of concern.

And they can see that her flying backwards and forwards isn't going to solve the problem.

So it's a bit of another setback really, isn't it? And I think in this one, we want to create this sense of injustice and anger, we are really in support of our main character, you know, that bird is very brave.

And actually, we don't like the fact that these gods are laughing down at her we want her to be successful.

So that probably creates a sense of anger in our reader as well.

Okay, so these two are for our last lesson in the unit lesson 10.

And we'll come on to them where things start to look up because the eagle God likes and is impressed by the actions of a little bird, but for today, it's just this one with the plan and this one with the sky gods being Little bit mean.

Okay, so before we get started, let's recap our middles toolkit again to make sure we know everything we need before we get on with it.

So we know that in our toolkit, we want to think about our new events and our setbacks.

So in this one, and this section, the setback is going to be the even though she has this brilliant plan, it's not quite working like she wants it to she can't get enough water.

Another setback is the gods looking down at her and laughing at her.

Okay.

We're going to have to slowing down of time to build anticipation.

And I think that bit will really come in the bit with the gods very kind of slow down and they remark on how she's doing and how they think she will fail.

We've then got vagueness hinting empty words and questions to build suspense.

I think in this section questions to build suspense will be key, we're going to have the sky gods really questioning her and her ability to do this.

And that's going to create uncertainty about whether it can actually happen.

That uncertainty as I just said, is in there and I also think it would be important to share the uncertainty of the main character and her thoughts and feelings if she feeling like it's working or not working, and sharing that with a reader so that they can feel some sympathy or even empathy for that character.

So what can we do to create this tension and mystery, we can use short dramatic sentences mixed in with longer sentences as well vagueness and hinting, slowing down time using those questions and using some really powerful vocabulary.

So we're going to write the third and fourth events.

We'll do it in two sections, so I can show you some different sentence stems and I can model each bit to you and then it'll be your turn afterwards.

So some short sentence stems for the first event she flew, she then, the water.

We're going to try and create quite a quick pace here with shorter sentences to show the action of the scene.

And also to see that she's going over and being quite repetitive and to see that it's not quite working.

We're then going to prevent for think about moving the settings up in the heavens, and really getting into this questioning and this uncertainty that they have.

I'm going to model this one for you now and then it'll be your turn.

Let's write our lesson and unit number and learning attractive, fast.

So we are in unit 16.

And this is lesson nine, learning to write a story with a dramatic middle.

So you can quickly look at this to remind ourselves we're starting off with a plan so we left it at the end of the last one, saying that she had a brilliant idea or she had come up with a plan.

So now we're going to have to share that plan with everyone and show how it works.

Surely if she could get the water from the lake and on to the fire then what might happen? Then what would happen? It would go out she could stop it and so then the fire would go out.

I think we could use a question here cause she hasn't fully come up with it.

But what could I use.

Put my inverted commas.

talking to herself.

But pondered the only way she could think of transporting the water was on I get to say it was on her wings.

If you want to change it slightly you could in her beak, don't mind.

Anyway she could think of transporting the water was on her wings.

I'm going to use as quick as a flash She flew down to that river.

And what she was going to she's going to scoop it up, pick it up.

It's up to you and scooped up as much water as she could carry.

Okay, what does she do next? We're going to start doing our brief.

She then flew to the fire and chopped it, dumped it wherever you like.

And dropped it on we say dropped the water right on top of it.

What did the water do? The water fizzled.

Then evaporated.

well maybe you might say evaporated is when it's really hot and the water turns into a gas and disappears.

So you might say then if vanish disappeared up to you, okay, so we want to show that it's not really working.

Okay.

Then she flew back to the river and back to the fire.

Take short sentences.

Can you see that? Okay.

Back to the river then.

Back to the fire.

Over and over again.

Good I think this time we should show how she's feeling and have a bit of uncertainty from her.

She can be talking to herself and it's not working.

How will I ever stop this fire? Or could we say alone by myself? Just say alone.

Question mark.

The little bird cried Yeah, wailed complained.

It's up to you.

You want to right there.

Okay, it's your turn to have a go back event three now and right about the idea she has and how she goes about testing all of the questions that she starts to ask herself about whether her plan is working, pause here and then press play when you're ready to continue.

Now I'm going to model this one for you event for where we're up in the heavens.

And we're really painting this picture as the sky god is not very nice, because they're laughing at her, but also going to start to slow down time, because in that first bit there were quite quick with the pace in the action, whereas in heaven, they're laughing at her but they're quite leisurely, just sitting around doing nothing.

So we'll slow things down a bit as well.

Okay, I'm going to model it to you and then it will be your turn.

We're now going to write this section.

So the sky gods section.

I'm going to show that we're moving to a new location, straight away so it's nice and clear.

So we're going to write up in the heavens the sky gods were watching the little were they watching the little bird do go back and forth as the fire crept, closer and closer.

Okay, so they're just sitting there, they're watching and it's much slower.

We've had the real quick pace of her panicking going backwards and forwards.

Now they're just sitting there, leisurely watching as the fire creeps closer and closer, they're in no hurry.

Time is slowing down for them.

So we can say who does that little bird think she is? Questioned one of the sky gods.

I'm just doing a different sky god talking so I've started a new new line.

She'll soon or what do you think she'll soon give up she'll soon get caught up in that fire.

She'll soon get too tired.

It's up to you want to put there I'd say she'll soon realise it is impossible and give up replied another god.

Did you one more? Or she'll what's another thing that might happen.

She'll die.

She'll get injured.

She'll get burnt.

Or she'll.

Get Caught in the flames.

Added a third god.

They all.

What did we say that was not very nice that they all did.

They all laughed until? What could it be until? their mass heart their bellies hurt, they were crying.

I'ma say until they were crying.

This really doesn't create a very nice picture all of that amazing stuff that the bird is trying to do to put out the fire.

And they're just sitting there slowly, leisurely, laughing at her not offering to help.

And just thinking it's funny that she might get caught in the flames which isn't.

So I think that's going to create a real sense of anger from our reader.

And it's going to put us all on the same side as the bird.

Great your turns have a go at event number four up in the heavens, pause here and then press play when you are done.

Okay, now you can read through make sure that you're really happy with your middle.

Is there anything else you need to add? Remember, reading your writing out loud can help you to check for things that are missing, but also help you with your spelling, punctuation and grammar.

It will show up some of those mistakes to you and then you can correct them.

So pause here, have a read through and a last check for your middle Writing here and then press play when you are done.

You have done a fantastic job today and our middle is looking so so great, full of drama, and really, really exciting.

We have two more bits to do in our last lesson and I can't wait to get them done with you.

If you would like to share what you've done so far with me, please ask a parent or carer to put it on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter.

You can tag oak national and use the hashtag learn with oak.

I hope to see you in our next lesson.