Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

My name is Mr. Brown, and I am here with your English lesson for today, and we are writing.

We are writing the second entry of Florence Nightingale's diary.

So this will be the entry where it is the day after she has arrived in Scutari, and she is working tirelessly to improve the conditions at the hospital.

So lots to write about in this diary entry.

I'm really excited.

Let's go for it, shall we? The outcome for today's lesson is I can write the second entry of Florence Nightingale's diary.

The keywords we'll be using are apostrophe for contraction, contraction, and informal.

Let's say those together.

First up, apostrophe for contraction.

Your turn.

Amazing.

Contraction and informal.

Perfect.

Well done.

So we have our keywords, our lesson outline.

We're going to be preparing to write first of all and then writing a diary entry.

Now, a diary is an informal piece of writing.

Informal writing is different to formal writing because it is more relaxed and contains more of the writer's personality, opinions, and ideas.

Formal versus informal.

Formal.

Straightaway, I think news reporter sitting up very straight, maybe shirt done up, tie.

That's what I'm thinking of when I picture myself in a very formal way.

Informal, I picture myself relaxed, maybe on the sofa at home watching TV or reading a book.

Informal versus formal.

Now, a diary entry is an informal piece of writing, which means that we do things a little bit differently.

There might be some things you'll find in an informal piece of writing that you wouldn't find in an formal piece of writing.

Now, the audience of a diary entry is simply the person who wrote it, so therefore there isn't a need to be formal, like a non-chronological report.

You don't need to be as formal.

One of the features of informal writing is contracted words.

An apostrophe is an important piece of punctuation, especially when using it for contracted words.

Now, one of its main purposes is for contraction.

The word contract means to push together, and we use this symbol of a clap because when we clap our hands, we are taking two hands and contracting them into what looks like one.

(claps hands) So we would say we clap for contraction.

And that's what helps me to remember that when we are contracting words, we're taking two words and contracting them into one smaller word.

(clap hands) True or false? The word contract means push together.

True or false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see if you are right.

True or false? The word contract means push together.

Well done if you said true.

It is.

It is true.

The word contract means to push together.

In English, particularly when writing informally, we use apostrophes for contraction to show two words connected together.

I am becomes I'm.

I am becomes I'm.

I've contracted those two words, I and am, into one.

Could and not becomes (claps hands) couldn't.

Did not becomes (claps hands) didn't.

When we use an apostrophe for contraction, we push two words together to make one shorter word.

So I plus am equals I'm.

He plus is equals he's.

It plus is equals it's.

Oh, what do you notice has happened here? Look at what happens when you take two words and you contract them to make one.

What happens? Look closely at the letters.

What happens? Pause the video and have a think or have a discussion with someone about what happens when we take two words to contract them into one.

Have a go at that now.

Welcome back.

Okay, let's have a look.

Now, an apostrophe usually takes the place of the letters that have been removed from the second word.

Did you spot that there were some letters that were removed? You can see A has been removed from am when you put I and am together.

He plus is, the I is removed.

So we can see the H, the E, and the S remain, but the I is removed.

And then it and is, the I is removed from is.

So could plus not equals couldn't, but the O from not is removed.

Did plus not equals didn't.

And again, it's the O that's removed.

Was plus not equals wasn't.

And again, it's the O that's removed.

So each time you're taking a could and then a not word, so did and not, was and not, it is the O of not that is removed, and the apostrophe usually takes the place of the letters that have been removed.

Sometimes it's one letter, sometimes it's two, and the apostrophe takes their place.

The apostrophe shows, hey, there were some letters here, but now they're gone, and it's just me, the apostrophe, instead.

That's how we can remember it.

The apostrophe is put in the place of the letters that are removed.

Let's check your understanding of this important piece of grammatical knowledge.

An apostrophe usually takes the place of the letters that have been removed from the second word.

Is that true or is that false? Pause the video and decide.

Welcome back, everyone.

An apostrophe usually takes the place of the letters that have been removed from the second word is true.

Well done if you said true.

Usually from the second word there are some letters that are taken away, and the apostrophe takes their place.

Okay, let's have a look at these sentences.

Now, I have circled some words that we can contract to make the sentence less formal.

So instead of saying "I could not believe my eyes," what could we contract could and not into to make it a bit less formal? I could not believe my eyes.

I couldn't, of course, I couldn't believe my eyes.

I could not believe my eyes, formal.

I couldn't believe my eyes, informal.

How about I did not stop at all.

So these are phrases that Florence might use in her diary entry.

I did not stop at all.

That sounds quite formal, doesn't it? Oh, I didn't stop at all.

I didn't stop at all.

Much more informal.

And the fresh and healthy food was not mouldy.

Is that formal or is that informal? Was not.

Well, we know that's formal, isn't it? How can we make that informal? The fresh and healthy food wasn't mouldy, of course.

Well done if you managed to spot before I revealed any of those.

Okay, time for a practise task.

I would like you to complete this table.

I want you to clap to contract the words.

Remember to put the apostrophe for contraction in the right place.

It shows where the letters have been removed from the second word.

So could not.

If we're contracting, could not, what word would that be? Did not, was not, would not.

These are words that I think you might use in your diary entry as Florence, so we need to know them as their informal version.

I will show you an example.

I'll do the first one for you.

So could not would become couldn't.

Exactly.

Could not becomes couldn't.

And where the O has been removed, the apostrophe is, and you can see the apostrophe is floating in line with ascenders.

So it's now your turn.

You've got did not, was not, and would not to contract.

Pause the video and have a go now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see how you got on.

So did not should be contracted into didn't.

Well done if you said didn't.

And the O has been removed, and the apostrophe is in its place.

Was not, wasn't.

Well done.

And would not becomes wouldn't.

Well done if you said wouldn't.

Okay, it's time to move on to writing a diary entry.

When we write, we always try and do these things.

We try to plan and say each sentence before we write it, we use punctuation where we know the rules, vary our sentence types, write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting, sound out words to spell them accurately, and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

So let's check our understanding on that.

Which of these do we always try and do when we are writing? Is it a, use punctuation even if we don't know the rules, b, use no punctuation at all, or c, plan and say each sentence before we write it? Which do we always try and do when we're writing, a, b or c? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see if you found the right answer, a, b, or c.

Which of these do we always try and do? It's c.

We try and plan and say each sentence before we write it.

a, use punctuation even if we don't know the rules.

No, we use punctuation only if we know the rules.

And b, use no punctuation at all.

Well, that would include capital letters and full stops, and I know that you know how to use those correctly.

So well done if you said c.

Now, you may have a plan to help you in writing today's diary entry, and if not, that doesn't matter, you can use this one, so a plan that's made for you.

And you can see on the left side we've got what happened and what you saw, so this tells you each part of the diary entry that you'll go through.

Now, this is not one sentence per box.

You might write two or even three sentences per box.

So what I mean by that is you can see in that top box on the left it says, "filthy floors covered in mud and blood, hospital dirty, hygienic." It's not a full sentence, it's just notes, but you could extend those into two or three full sentences.

And then on the right side you've got what you did, including a past tense verb, so "immediately scrubbed so the floor was spotless." Let me show you how you might take that and turn it into full sentences.

But first I would like you, before I show you my example, I'd like you to have a go.

So use your plan to say the first two sentences out loud of Florence Nightingale's diary entry.

Now, remember to include an apostrophe for contraction if you can, and use the first person in past tense.

So you're going to say words like I, and me, and my, and our because you are Florence Nightingale.

You are writing as if you are Florence Nightingale, and that is writing in the first person.

Past tense means you're going to use past tense verbs, like scrubbed, and cleaned, and saw.

Okay, over to you now.

Let me show you the plan that you can use.

You can see here you're going to write at least two sentences from just this one section of the plan.

So you might write a sentence about the filthy floors covered in mud and blood and how dirty the hospital was.

And then another sentence might be what you did in response to that.

You have a go first and then I'll show you an example.

Pause the video and have a go at saying the first two sentences of your Florence Nightingale diary entry now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see how you got on.

Just before I show you an example, can you just check the sentences, check your sentences that you said.

Check in your head did you include an apostrophe for contraction? Did you use the first person and past tense? If you didn't, if there wasn't a word like couldn't, or didn't, or wasn't, then doesn't matter.

Pause the video, go back, have another go.

Take a moment to think do you need to have another go? If you do, pause the video now.

If not, if you're ready to move on, let's do it, shall we? So here is an example.

You can see I've taken this plan, and I've turned it into two full sentences, sorry, three full sentences.

"Today was the most exhausting day of my life because I didn't stop at all." So you can see I've added that sentence.

There's nothing in my plan that says anything about the most exhausting day of my life or didn't stop at all.

I've added that.

That's absolutely fine.

You use the plan to guide you.

If you have your own ideas, you add them in.

"To improve the conditions at the hospital we started with the filthy floors that were covered in mud and blood." And you can see I've taken that directly from my plan, "filthy floors covered in mud and blood," and there it is in my full sentences.

"We immediately scrubbed those floors so they were spotless." And there on the right hand side, what you did in my plan, it says, "immediately scrubbed so that the floor was spotless." So I've taken that plan and used it to produce three full sentences.

Two that are directly linked to the plan.

Well done if you did the same.

Now, here is the success criteria for today's writing.

If you can follow the success criteria and complete all four parts of these successfully, you will have produced an excellent piece of writing.

I have written the date and a greeting.

We know that diary entries need a date and a greeting.

It'll be that dear diary, won't it? I have used my plan to include the relevant events.

The plan will guide you to make sure you don't miss any parts out, so use that plan.

I have used an apostrophe for contraction.

So that's words like couldn't and didn't.

And I've included them in the success criteria.

So if you want to use couldn't or didn't, you can copy that directly from the success criteria.

And finally, I have read my writing back to check for any mistakes.

A crucial part of the writing process, and we can't forget it.

You have your plan to use as well.

This will help you with your diary entry.

If you want to, you can always pause the video at this point to look at the plan to make notes and take this plan down yourself.

Okay, it is now time for me to have a go.

It's my turn first.

I am going to write the date, greeting, and the first two sentences of my entry, my diary entry, as Florence Nightingale.

Then we'll come back together and you and I will have a go at completing the success criteria to see how well I'm doing with my writing, to see if there's anything I need to keep working on.

Then it'll be over to you.

But first of all, it's my turn.

Let's do it, shall we? Okay, so I am ready to start my diary entry.

The first thing in my success criteria says, "I have written the date and a greeting," so let's get that done first.

Now, the date I'm using, and I've checked this historically so I know roughly when Florence would've been doing this, is the 16th.

So I'm gonna start on the left side.

The 16th of March, and a capital letter for our month of the year.

16th of March, and the year was 1855.

Now that's my date's done, but I haven't done my greeting yet.

Now, I know a greeting in a diary is always dear with a capital letter, Dear Diary.

And then after Dear Diary, you have a comma, and that's my date and my greeting done.

So actually I'm gonna tick that off straight away because I've done something already.

So I now need to look at my plan, and I can see my plan it says about seeing the blood and the mud on the floors and then immediately scrubbing them, so that's what I did.

So let's start with a fronted adverbial of time.

Let's say this morning.

So this morning that's when all this happened.

This morning, my team and I, because it wasn't just me, was it? This morning my team and I immediately scrubbed, and that's from my plan, the filthy floors.

Perfect.

Okay.

This morning, my team and I, so this morning, capital letter at the start of my sentence.

This morning my team, team, which E sound do I want? T, is it E-E? My teem.

Hmm.

Looking at that, I don't think that looks right.

I think it's the other E sound.

I think it's E-A.

So what I'm going to do is I'm just gonna cross that E out and put an A above just with a tiny arrow there that shows that that's what I want.

There you go.

This morning my team and I, my team and I, let me just tidy up that handwriting, my team and I immediately, now I'm gonna look directly at my plan for the spelling of this one.

Immediate, immediately, let me just dot my Is and cross my Ts.

This morning my team and I immediately scrubbed.

So I've got scrub and then another B, double the B and add the E-D.

This morning my team and I immediately scrubbed the filth, filthy floors.

Oh, let me just cross that so it's clear.

This morning my team and I immediately scrubbed the filthy floors.

Capital letter, full stop.

Let's put that in.

Any punctuation missing? Ah, yes.

I spotted something on this first line that's missing.

Can you see what it is? I'll give you a clue.

It is a comma.

Where should it go? I'll give you one more clue.

It is after a fronted adverbial of time.

What's the fronted adverbial of time? Yes, well done.

This morning, comma.

This morning, comma, my team and I immediately scrubbed the filthy floors.

Let me just cross that F as well.

Good, okay.

So I'm using my plan.

I might just hold back on ticking this off until I use my plan maybe a bit more.

Maybe for two sentences or three sentences.

Okay, have you noticed I'm constantly going back and reading this sentence again so I know where I'm up to? This morning, my team and I immediately scrubbed the filthy floors.

Right, so I know I've got this big thing in my success criteria, this target I need to work on, apostrophe for contraction, and I've got couldn't and didn't that are helping me there.

I know the phrase, I couldn't believe my eyes, is a great one to use in your writing when someone is feeling shocked, and I know Florence would've felt very shocked when she saw how dirty this hospital was, so I'm going to use couldn't.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of, and then the plan, it says mud and blood, so I'm gonna steal that from my plan.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of mud and blood on the floors, so I kept cleaning until they were spotless.

That's in my plan too, about cleaning until they were spotless.

Good, that sounds like a nice sentence.

Let me say it one more time.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of mud and blood on the floors, so we kept cleaning until they were spotless.

Like it.

Okay.

I, capital letter starting my sentence.

I couldn't, take that from my success criteria.

C-O-U-L-D is could, and then couldn't.

So I've got my N, and then that's my apostrophe to show that the O is missing, T.

I couldn't believe.

I couldn't believe my, so I'm writing in the first person there.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

I couldn't believe my eyes when, I'm gonna say what I was looking at.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount.

And this is from my plan, the amount of, was it mud and blood? Let me just tidy up my handwriting.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of mud and blood on the floors.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

See, I'm doing it again.

Every time I pause for a second, I go back, read my sentence to get my flow.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of mud and blood on the floors.

So is a really nice joining word here, which is going to say what I did.

So I, so I kept.

Now I can't say I kept scrubbing 'cause I've already said scrubbed here, so I'm gonna say so I kept cleaning, so I'm not repeating myself.

I'm adding variety to the vocabulary I'm using.

So I kept cleaning until.

Until, hmm, I'm looking at the spelling of until.

Something doesn't look right there.

Ah, yes, until only has one L, so I'm gonna cross that second L off.

See, a nice neat diagonal line just to show that I don't want that to be there anymore.

Until they were spotless.

Spotless.

Oh, cross my T.

Good.

Let's read through.

"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the amount of mud and blood on the floors so I kept cleaning until they were spotless." Ah, okay.

I see I have a problem on this bottom line.

In fact, I've got two problems. The most obvious one I think you've probably seen is that I'm missing a full stop at the end of my sentence, but then there's one more.

I haven't put a finger space in between they and were.

Now, I can't magically make a finger space, so what I'll do is I'll just put a line here to show that they are two separate words, so I remember that that's a finger space that I need to do for next time.

Okay, great.

Let's just check on my success criteria.

I've used my plan.

Yes, I've been constantly using my plan.

Taking spellings from it, taking ideas from it, using it to guide my writing.

Apostrophe for contraction.

I've got couldn't, there it is.

I might just put a little tick next to couldn't so I know that's the one I've done.

Maybe I can use didn't later on in this piece of writing.

And then I've read my writing back to check for any mistakes.

Constantly reading your writing back.

You could see I was doing that even before I reached the end of a sentence.

I'd go back and read what I'd written so far so I could get my flow again so I knew what I was writing, but I did that at the end of each sentence in a more formal way of going back and checking exactly every word to make sure there was no mistakes, so I can tick that off too.

Great.

Okay.

So I've got some more writing to do in my diary entry, but this is a really positive start.

Now it's your turn.

You are going to write your own diary entry as Florence Nightingale on the day she started to improve the hospital.

Your entry will be all about the things that you did, because you're Florence, to improve that hospital.

I would like you to use your success criteria and your plan to help you.

It is your turn.

Take your time with this.

Use your plan, use your success criteria, and show me what you can do.

Get those skills in there, get those contractions in there, those past tense verbs.

Over to you now.

Pause the video and have a go at writing your diary entry now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see how you got on.

But just before we look at an example, I would like you to pause and read your writing back to check it makes sense and to edit any errors.

We must read our writing back as the last step of our writing process.

Also, tick in each box when you've completed the success criteria.

So double check, if you haven't done it already, that you've checked, read through your success criteria, and ticked off if you've done each thing.

So pause the video, read back, check, edit, and then check your success criteria, and do this now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see how you got on.

So here is an example that I'm going to read through with you.

"16th of March, 1855.

Dear Diary, today was the most exhausting day of my life because I didn't stop at all.

My team and I worked tirelessly to get this hospital into a better condition.

We started with the filthy floors that were covered in blood and mud.

We immediately scrubbed those floors so they were spotless.

Next, I quickly ensured that every wounded soldier was in his own bed and that the bedsheets were clean.

Finally, I organised for the old food to be replaced by fresh and healthy food that wasn't mouldy." And you can see I have met everything in my success criteria.

I've got my date and my dear diary, my greeting.

I have used my plan, and look, I've got some apostrophe for contraction words.

I've got didn't and wasn't.

So I'm meeting everything in my success criteria.

My date and greeting, I've used my plan, my apostrophe for contraction, and now at the end of my writing, I feel like I can confidently say that I read my writing back and checked for any mistakes.

Let's summarise the learning that we've done today.

A diary is an informal piece of writing.

Informal writing is different to formal writing because it is more relaxed and contains more of the writer's personality, opinions, and ideas.

One of the features of informal writing is contracted words.

When writing informally, we use apostrophes for contraction to show two words connected together.

Brilliant work today.

I am very proud of your writing and you should be too.

I will see you again very soon.