Lesson video

Hello, everyone.

It's Mr. Brown here with your English lesson for today, and we are writing the buildup of an incredible animation called "Lucky Dip." So pencils at the ready.

Let's get writing the buildup.

The outcome for today's lesson is I can write the buildup of "Lucky Dip." The key words we will use in our lesson today are fronted adverbial of time, verb, adverb.

Let's say this together.

My turn, then your turn.

Fronted adverbial of time.

Well done, that was a big one.

Verb, adverb.

Great.

We will start by preparing to write and then move on to writing the buildup.

"Lucky Dip" can be structured like this in a story staircase with an opening, a buildup, a climax, and a resolution, and today, we are writing the buildup.

The purpose of the buildup is to do these things.

It's to develop the plots and characters, introduce a problem, and build up tension and excitement, and you can see here is the story of "Lucky Dip" structured on a story staircase.

And the problem, of course, is that Emily finds herself in an old abandoned arcade with a strange man who she is scared of, she's frightened of, and then a further problem, she sees a magical bunny who she can't get to, so lots of problems introduced in this buildup.

Let's check our understanding.

The purpose of the buildup is to, A, solve a problem, B, to build up tension and excitement, C, to introduce the characters, or D, to introduce a problem.

The purpose of the buildup is what do you think? Pause the video and decide for yourself now.

Welcome back Let's see if, you were right.

So the purpose of the buildup is to not solve a problem but to build up tension and excitement, yes.

To introduce the characters, no.

That happens in the opening, and to introduce a problem, yes.

So two correct answers, B and D.

Well done if you said B and D.

Okay, let's have a look at the buildup of "Lucky Dip." In the buildup, we develop the characters and introduce a problem.

Now Emily enters the strange and scary arcade.

She sees the Pin Man and hides.

We have a problem.

She sees the magical bunny, but she's taken out by her granddad, an even further problem.

Let's watch it though, shall we? Let's watch just the buildup so we know what this section of "Lucky Dip" contains.

Let's watch the buildup of "Lucky Dip" now.

(wind blows) (footsteps thud) (machines whir and pop) (handle clicks) (Emily gasps) (soft whimsical chiming music) (claw clicks and buzzes) (Emily sighs) (wind blows) (flags flap) (machines whir) (claw whirs and clicks) (door creaks open) (footsteps thud) Welcome back, everyone.

Did you enjoy the buildup? So now you've seen it.

Why don't we read an example of the buildup, and this will help us to know what we are aiming for in our writing.

I will now read you the buildup now.

"Emily placed her cold, quivering hand on the splintered wooden door of the arcade and gradually pushed it open.

Then the nervous girl quietly shuffled across a dark room towards several colourful arcade machines.

Suddenly she saw a terrifying, huge man! He had sharp, pointy pins sticking out of his bald head, and his wide, angry eyes were staring straight at her! In a flash, Emily darted frantically behind a machine to hide.

A moment later, she saw a soft, fluffy bunny inside a Lucky Dipper machine and curiously edged towards it.

It was alive! She couldn't believe her eyes, but her granddad grabbed her arm and pulled her away.

Would she ever be able to help this magical bunny?" When writing, fronted adverbials of time help let the reader know how much time has passed between each sentence, and you can see I've used several fronted adverbials of time in my example.

I have, "Then, the nervous girl quietly shuffled across the dark room." So I've said that this thing happened very soon after the last thing.

Then just says it's the next thing that happened.

Suddenly.

I'm introducing some speed now.

In a flash.

I'm saying this thing happened very fast.

A moment later is another example.

Let's check your understanding of fronted adverbials of time.

Fronted adverbials of time help let the reader know how much time has between each sentence.

Is that true or is that false? Pause the video and decide for yourself now.

Welcome back.

Let's see how you got on.

Fronted adverbials of time.

Well, it is true.

They do help let the reader know how much time has passed between each sentence.

So well done if you said true.

Fronted adverbials of time can help to speed up or slow down the action you are describing.

Speeding up and slowing down.

Let's look at some examples.

In a flash would speed up the action.

It would say that this thing happened very fast, very soon after the last piece of information that you've given the reader.

In a heartbeat, exactly the same, fast, in a second, at that moment.

So we're starting to slow down, not quite as fast as in a flash or in a heartbeat 'cause, of course, a heartbeat is just boom, boom.

That's how quick it is.

In a second is just a tiny bit longer than a heartbeat.

At that moment says it happened then but maybe not with as much speed as in a flash.

Just then, a moment later, a minute later, so you can see we're starting to slow down now.

Next, then, after a while, the next day.

So a whole day has passed here.

These are some examples of fronted adverbials of time that you can use to speed up or slow down the action.

Now, fronted adverbials of time always start sentences.

So they need a capital letter, and they have a comma after, and you can probably see that in all of those examples.

They all start with capital letters and have commas after.

Let me check your understanding.

Which of these fronted adverbials of time would help to speed up the action in your writing? Is it A, after a while, B, then, or C, in a heartbeat? Which one would speed up the action? Which one would tell the reader that hardly any time at all had passed between the last sentence and this sentence? Okay, pause the video and decide A, B, or C now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see if you were right.

Which of these fronted adverbials of time would speed up the action? Well, well done if you said in a heartbeat.

A heartbeat is so fast, boom, boom.

That's it.

It's done.

After a while, a while tells me that there's been some time.

Then tells me that it's the next thing that happened, but there's no indication of whether it was fast or slow.

It's quite neutral.

So well done if you said C.

Here are the notes from a plan for writing the buildup.

They contain verbs and adverbs and adjectives and nouns for you to use in your writing.

You may have your own plan, in which case you do not need to use this plan.

This could be an example.

If you don't have a plan, then please by all means, use this plan.

You can pause the video at any time if you want to take notes from my plan to put onto your plan or copy this out for your own.

You can see that I've broken the buildup down into key moments.

Here is the section for the first key moment, which is Emily touching the door, opening it, and walking inside.

I would like you to use this part of your plan to say the first two sentences of the buildup of "Lucky Dip." I would love it if you could try to include a fronted adverbial of time for one of your sentences.

So your job is to say the first two sentences of the buildup of "Lucky Dip," trying to include a fronted adverbial of time for one of your sentences.

Feel free to take as many of the verbs and adverbs and adjectives and nouns that I've included in my plan.

Over to you.

Pause the video and say the first two sentences of the buildup of "Lucky Dip" now.

Welcome back, everyone.

Let's see how you got on.

I'm going to show you an example.

"Emily placed her cold, tiny hand on the old wooden door and gently pushed it open.

A moment later, she quietly crept inside the dark, mysterious arcade." So I have verbs and adverbs used.

I've got quietly crept, gently pushed.

Adjectives and nouns.

I've got cold, tiny hand.

You can see my plan.

It says tiny, cold hand, and in the writing or the example, I have switched them around.

That's absolutely fine to do.

A plan is just a guide.

You can change or move away from the plan.

Old wooden door, dark, mysterious arcade.

But I asked you to include a fronted adverbial of time.

Did I do that? Well, yes I did because there it is, a moment later.

I'm sure you included a fronted adverbial of time, too.

Okay, let's move on now to the second key moment from the buildup, and this is when Emily sees the Pin Man and hides.

Your job is to say the next two sentences of the buildup using this plan to help guide you, and again, I would love it if you could include a fronted adverbial of time for one of your sentences.

If you didn't do it in that first key moment, let's make sure we do it now.

So pause the video and use this plan to say the next two sentences of the buildup describing Emily seeing the Pin Man and then hiding.

Pause the video and have a go now.

Welcome back.

Two more exciting sentences from the buildup.

Let's have a look at my example.

Just then.

So straight away, I've got my fronted adverbial of time in there.

It's a fast one.

"Just then, Emily suddenly saw a huge, terrifying figure looming over her, and his wide, bulging eyes angrily glared at her! In a flash." So even faster, I'm picking up the speed.

"The horrified little girl frantically darted behind a broken games machine." I've got suddenly saw.

That's a verb and adverb in there.

Any adjectives? Yeah, huge, terrifying figure.

Lots in there, and I've got those fronted adverbials of time.

I'm sure you did the same, too, which brings us nicely onto the third and final part of the buildup, and this is when Emily sees the bunny, goes over to it.

It comes to life, but her granddad takes her away.

Your job is to use this plan and include a fronted adverbial of time for one of your sentences.

Say this ending of your buildup using those verbs and adverbs, including adjectives and nouns from the plan, and getting a fronted adverbial of time, at least one in there as well.

Over to you.

I would like you to pause the video and say the ending of your buildup now.

Welcome back.

Let's see my example, and you'll be able to compare it to yours to see how similar they were.

"Emily quickly noticed." That's from my plan, isn't it? "An illuminated machine," oh, that's from my plan, too, "called the Lucky Dipper and curiously moved over to see a soft, fluffy bunny inside.

At that moment," there's my fronted adverbial of time, "the bunny came to life and Emily gazed speechlessly at the magical toy." Lots from my plan included.

Curiously moved, gazed speechlessly.

Now in my plan, this was interesting.

I've got magical, adorable toy, but I've only actually written magical toy.

Is that okay to do? Absolutely.

The plan is just a guide.

You are not in any way forced to stick to your plan.

If you think of something better, then you should use it.

The plan is just a guide.

Okay, let's move on to writing the buildup.

When we write, we always try to do these things: plan and say each sentence before we write it; use punctuation where we know the rules; vary our sentence types; write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting; sound out words to spell them accurately; and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and to edit and improve our writing if necessary.

Let me just check on that.

Which of these do we always try to do when we're writing? Is it A, vary our tense? So do we switch around between past tense, present tense, future tense? Do we vary our handwriting size? So maybe one word, we write it really small and then one word really big, or C, do we vary our sentence types? So do we have some sentence types that are compound sentences, some sentence types that are simple sentences, some that start with fronted adverbials of time, some that start with fronted adverbials of place? What do you think, A, B, or C? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back.

Let's see if you found the correct answer.

Well done if you said C, we vary our sentence types.

We do not want to vary our tense or our handwriting size.

They must stay consistent throughout, but varying our sentence types will help to keep the reader engaged and interested and make our writing exciting to read.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

I would like you to make sure that you have used your plan to write about each key moment.

We don't want to miss anything out.

Included fronted adverbials of time.

We've looked at those closely in today's lesson.

I would like you to use those to speed up or slow down the action in the buildup.

Included ambitious vocabulary from your plan.

Your plan is packed full of ambitious vocabulary.

It's now about taking that and putting it into your sentences, and, of course, reading your writing back to check for any mistakes.

So my turn and then your turn.

I am going to take a moment to write the first few sentences of the buildup, and then we will work together to be able to use the success criteria to check how I got on.

My first sentence.

"Emily pushed open the old wooden." What was old and wooden? She "pushed open the old wooden door of the abandoned arcade." So already, I'm using things from my plan.

Old wooden door, abandoned arcade.

A moment later.

Ah, there's my fronted adverbial of time.

First one I've used.

"A moment later, she quietly crept inside." Just then, another fronted adverbial of time.

"Just then, she noticed a terrifying, huge figure looming over her!" And I've chosen to use an exclamation mark there instead of a full stop because this is not a normal sentence.

This is not your everyday piece of information.

She has seen a huge, terrifying figure looming over her.

It's very exciting, it's very unusual, so an exclamation mark works very well here.

In a, what do we think? She's seen a terrifying, huge figure looming over her.

In a minute? In a week? "In a flash, she desperately hid behind a broken arcade machine." Let's work together to use the success criteria to see how my writing is looking so far.

I have used my plan to write about each key moment.

Absolutely.

There are so much from my plan that I've included, and it's guided me through to make sure that I'm including each key moment.

Fronted adverbials of time.

Ooh, let me see.

Ah, yes, of course, I've got a moment later, just then, in a flash, brilliant.

Just to stay on those as well, I've made sure that they all have capital letters and they all have commas after them.

Ambitious vocabulary from my plan.

So much, so much from my plan is in my writing.

Old wooden door, abandoned arcade, quietly crept, terrifying, huge figure, desperately hid, broken arcade machine.

Absolutely ticking that one off, and then read my writing back to check for any mistakes.

Well, I was reading my writing back a lot, wasn't I? I was checking how it sounded, I was talking you through my process, but I never tick this one off until I am finished an entire piece of writing.

So I want to keep reading back and checking my work, and I'll tick the one off at the end.

Now it is your turn.

I would like you to write your own buildup for "Lucky Dip." Use your success criteria and your plan to help you.

The last thing I want to do is just to show you your plan one more time.

At any time, you can pause the video to take extra notes.

This is the plan you're using.

We have our first key moment, our second key moment of the buildup, and our third key moment.

Use this plan to guide your writing.

Okay, pause the video and write your buildup now.

Welcome back, everyone.

I hope you managed to use your plan, your success criteria to produce an excellent buildup.

Let's have a look at my example, but just before we do, take a moment if you haven't done it already to read your writing back to check it makes sense and edit any errors, and then tick each box in your success criteria.

These are things you may have already done.

If you haven't, this is your moment to do so.

So I will give you a minute to be able to pause the video and do that, and now I hope we are ready to move on to look at my example.

"Emily pushed open the splintered wooden door of the arcade and quietly crept inside.

Just then." Ah, that's a fronted adverbial of time, isn't it? "She saw a huge, terrifying figure.

He had sharp, pointy pins in his head, and his wide, bulging eyes were glaring at her.

In a heartbeat, the little girl frantically hid.

She quickly noticed an illuminated machine called the Lucky Dipper and curiously moved over to it.

A moment later, a soft, fluffy bunny inside the machine sprang to life! Emily gazed speechlessly at the toy, but her granddad swiftly pulled her away." Okay, let me check using my success criteria.

Have I used my plan? Absolutely.

I've included lots from my plan.

You can see that already.

Fronted adverbials of time.

Yes, I've got just then, in a heartbeat, a moment later.

That can be ticked.

Ambitious vocabulary, let me see.

Ah, yeah, so we've got, "Emily pushed open the splintered wooden door," "the little girl frantically hid," "wide, bulging eyes." These are all ambitious vocabulary for my plan, and have I read my writing back to check for any mistakes? I've completed the whole piece of writing, and I did constantly keep going back.

I'm sure you did, too, so that can be ticked off as well.

Let's summarise the learning we've done today.

The purpose of the buildup is to develop the plot and characters, introduce a problem, and build up tension and excitement.

Fronted adverbial of time tell the reader how much time has passed between each sentence, and fronted adverbials of time can speed up or slow down the action being described.

Fantastic writing today.

I'm sure you've written a buildup that is descriptive, is exciting to read, and sets us up for the next part of our story staircase, which, of course, is the most exciting, the climax.

I will see you again very soon.