Lesson video

Hello everyone, it's Mr. Brown here with your English lesson, and today we are writing.

We are writing the climax of "Lucky Dip".

The most exciting part of the story is the climax, so ready for some exciting writing? Let's get started.

The outcome for today's lesson is I can write the climax of "Lucky Dip".

The keywords we'll use are fronted adverbial of manner, rhetorical question, and adverb.

Repeat after me, my turn, then your turn.

Fronted adverbial of manner.

Rhetorical question, adverb.

Brilliant, well done.

So today's lesson, we will start by preparing to write and then move on to writing the climax.

"Lucky Dip" can be structured like this, with a opening, buildup, climax, and resolution, and this is a story staircase, and in this lesson we are writing the climax.

Now, the purpose of a climax is to do these things, describe the significant challenge or problem, create the highest point of tension and excitement, and keep the reader engaged and interested.

Here's the story of "Lucky Dip" structured on a story staircase.

We are focusing on the climax.

The purpose of the climax is, A, to solve a problem, B, to describe the problem, C, to create lots of tension, D, to introduce a problem.

Let's check your understanding.

Can you tell me if it's A, B, C, D, or more than one? Pause the video and answer this question now.

Welcome back, okay, let's see how you got on.

The purpose of the climax is to solve a problem, no, that will come in the resolution, to describe the problem, yes, and to create lots of tension, yes.

Not to introduce a problem, that happens in the opening.

So in the climax, we describe the problem and create lots of tension.

Now, this involves Emily going back into the arcade, she trips over, the Pin Man pushes over the Lucky Dipper machine, and she grabs the bunny.

Then she sees the Pin Man coming towards her, walks backwards and falls down a hole.

She lands on the sand, the bunny runs away, and the Pin Man grabs her.

Let's watch the climax so that we know what this section of "Lucky Dip" contains.

We will only be watching the climax, just the section you'll be writing today.

So let's watch the climax of "Lucky Dip".

(air quivering) (thunder rumbling) (light airy music) (footsteps thumping) (door squeaking) (Emily falls) (coin rolling & falling) (dramatic music) (thunder rumbling) (machine falls) (dramatic music) (shrieking softly) (exclaiming loudly) (gentle ethereal music) (birds chirping) (footsteps thumping) (gentle ethereal music) (sniffing softly) (hinges squeaking) Wow, what a climax, so exciting.

The task ahead of us is to put that into words, to write that climax.

So let's have a look at an example of the climax written so that we know what we are aiming for.

"Quickly, Emily ran back inside the arcade, but fell over onto the hard, wooden floor.

Suddenly, the horrifying Pin Man used his muscular tattooed arm to violently push over the Lucky Dipper machine and it smashed instantly.

Emily reached through the shattered sharp glass to grab the bunny, but the Pin Man was walking towards her.

Nervously, the little girl stepped backwards, but fell through a dark, jagged hole in the arcade floor.

Would this be the end of poor Emily? Gradually, she opened her eyes and realised she had landed on golden sand.

Emily held the magical bunny, but he swiftly wriggled free and ran away.

Tears filled Emily's eyes.

At that moment, the Pin Man's arms reached down and grabbed Emily, and she was thrust into the air." Okay, that's our climax.

Now, the climax contained a rhetorical question.

Did you spot it? A rhetorical question is a type of question that is asked to the reader that does not expect an answer.

So the writer is not expecting the reader to be able to answer that question.

And you can see it there, would this be the end of poor Emily? That's the rhetorical question, it's a question asked to the reader, it's asking what they think, but without expecting an answer to be given.

Rhetorical questions are great ways to engage the reader, especially at points of high tension and suspense, when the reader will not know what is going to happen next.

Often a rhetorical question won't have a right answer, it's a just chance for the reader to think about a particular topic.

They may start with one of these question-starting words.

What, would, could, how, where, why, when? Here are some examples.

Would this be the end of poor Emily? What would happen to Emily next? How would Emily escape the Pin Man? Why was the Pin Man approaching Emily? Let's check your understanding on rhetorical questions.

Rhetorical questions do not expect an answer, is that true or is that false? Pause the video and decide now.

Welcome back, okay, rhetorical questions, they do not expect an answer, so it's true, well done if you said true.

The climax also uses fronted adverbials of manner.

Now this type of fronted adverbial tells the reader how something was done or how someone felt at that time.

Now here is the climax again, and you can see I've highlighted the fronted adverbials of manner.

So that's quickly, suddenly, nervously, and gradually.

These are fronted adverbials that tell the reader how something was done or how someone felt at the time.

Fronted adverbials of manner show how something was done or how someone felt at the time, they're often just one word, and that word often ends in ly.

Ly words like cautiously, cautiously, Emily stepped backwards to escape the Pin Man.

Or angrily, angrily, the Pin Man shoved over the lucky Dipper machine.

Eagerly, eagerly, Emily reached through the shattered glass to grab the bunny.

Now, these words are all adverbs, that's one of our key words, isn't it? Adverbs, and adverbs are words that describe a verb.

You will have used adverbs before, I am sure, but I wonder if you've used them at the start of a sentence in this way.

Fronted adverbials of manner are often adverbs, and adverbs can change the way a verb in a sentence is done.

For example, we've got this sentence, the Pin Man approached Emily.

Now, the adverb I choose here will change the way that the Pin Man approaches Emily.

For example, menacingly, the Pin Man approached Emily.

Now, approached is the verb, menacingly is the adverb.

Menacingly means to do something with lots of menace.

It's very negative, and this creates a really tense, suspenseful image of the Pin Man approaching her with menace.

However, if I change it to cheerfully, the Pin Man approached Emily, it's an entirely different scene in the reader's head.

Cheerfully, the Pin Man approached Emily, now I'm picturing him with a big smile on his face, maybe holding his arms out to give her a hug.

It's very different.

The adverb changes the way the verb is done.

Let's use another example, Emily tiptoed backwards, what's the verb in that sentence? Yes, of course, tiptoed, tiptoed is the verb.

Now, let's use fronted adverbials of manner to change the way that she tiptoes.

Excitedly, Emily tiptoed backwards.

What's she excited about? Maybe it's something that she's really looking forward to happening.

Does that fit our climax? Was she excitedly tiptoeing backwards? No, she wasn't, anxiously, Emily tiptoed backwards, that fits our climax.

She's walking backwards away from the Pin Man, she doesn't know the hole is behind her, she's anxious, she's nervous, she's scared.

Anxiously, Emily tiptoed backwards, that adverb works.

Which of these is a fronted adverbial of manner? Is it A, after a minute, B, later that day, or C, nervously? Which one is a fronted adverbial of manner, A, B, or C? Pause the video and decide for yourself now.

Welcome back, let's see if you managed to find the fronted adverbial of manner.

So A, after a minute, is a fronted adverbial of time.

B, later that day, is also a fronted adverbial of time.

C, nervously, is a fronted adverbial of manner.

Well done if you said C, that tells us how a verb was done or how a character felt at the time.

They felt nervous, they did something nervously, well done if you said C.

Here are the notes from a plan for writing the climax.

They contain verbs, and adverbs, and adjectives, and nouns for you to use in your writing.

Here you can see we have the first key moment, verbs and adverbs in a column in the middle, adjectives and nouns on the right, and then there's a picture of the key moment, and actually on the left it tells you what happens.

So E trips, that'll be E for Emily, Emily trips, Pin Man smashes machine, and Emily grabs the bunny.

I would like you to use this part of your plan to say the first two sentences of the climax of "Lucky Dip".

And I'm really hoping you'll be able to include a fronted adverbial of manner for one of your sentences.

So use your plan to say the first two sentences of the climax of "Lucky Dip".

Pause the video and do this now.

Welcome back, let's see how you got on.

So here's an example that I have created.

Swiftly, that's my fronted adverbial of manner, it's saying how Emily did something, swiftly, Emily dashed back, dashed is the verb, Emily dashed back into the arcade, but she accidentally tripped on the hard, uneven floor.

So I've taken hard, uneven floor from my plan.

I've got accidentally tripped from my verbs and adverbs in my plan.

Next sentence, suddenly, so another fronted adverbial of manner, suddenly, the Pin Man used his muscular tattooed arm to aggressively shove over the Lucky Dipper machine, with an exclamation mark at the end.

Okay, now let's move on and do the same for this second key moment.

So this is the Pin Man coming towards Emily, Emily walking back and then falling down the hole.

Same thing, I want you to use your plan to say the next two sentences of the climax.

And if you can, again include that fronted adverbial of manner for at least one of your sentences, I know you can do this.

Okay, pause the video and have a go at using your plan to say the next two sentences of the climax now.

Welcome back, okay, let's see my example and see how close yours was to mine.

At that moment, the angry, petrifying Pin Man menacingly moved towards Emily.

So I've taken menacingly moved from my plan, angry, petrifying Pin Man from my plan.

Anxiously, okay, there's my fronted adverbial of manner.

So whatever the first verb in this sentence is, that is what is being described as being anxious.

I've done anxiously.

Anxiously, the terrified girl stepped, so that's the verb, stepped backwards, but there was a dark, ominous hole behind her.

So she stepped back anxiously, that's what that fronted adverbial of manner does.

Okay, last one, I want you to have a go at saying the ending of your climax.

So you will use this plan, you can take any of the verbs and adverbs, the adjectives and nouns, and of course, I want you to get a fronted adverbial of manner in there if you can.

Use your plan to say the ending of your climax, which will describe Emily landing on the sand, the bunny running away from her, and the Pin Man grabbing her.

Pause the video and say the ending of your climax now.

Welcome back, let's see how you got on and how I got on.

Okay, here's my example, I wonder how close it is to yours.

Gradually, there's my fronted adverbial of manner, so whatever the verb is, I know that the person, the character did it gradually.

Gradually, Emily opened her tear-filled eyes to see she had landed on the soft, golden sand and was still clutching the bunny.

Quickly, another fronted adverbial of manner, the mischievous bunny wriggled free and ran away from the devastated girl.

Okay, we have used fronted adverbials of manner well, with a comma after each of them.

The verbs, and adverbs, and adjectives, and nouns from our plan, that's ambitious language, that's all been incorporated into our sentences.

I think we are ready to move on to writing the climax.

When we write, we always try to do these things, plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately, and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense, and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Let me check your understanding on that.

Which of these do we always try to do when writing? Is it A, write letters floating above the line, B, write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting, or C, write letters across several lines? A, B, or C, handwriting, have a think.

Pause the lesson and decide what's the correct answer now.

And welcome back, so I hope you got the correct answer to this one.

A, writing letters floating above the line, we absolutely do not do, your letters should be sitting on the line, which is what B says, neatly on the line in joined handwriting, B is the correct answer.

C, writing letters across several lines, absolutely not, they should be on the line.

Well done if you said B.

Okay, here is the success criteria that we will use for writing our climax.

I have included ambitious vocabulary from my plan.

Everything that's in your plan, you need to be able to use it to guide your writing and incorporate it where appropriate into your sentences.

I have included fronted adverbials of manner.

I would love for you to get in at least two or three fronted adverbials of manner to say how something was done or how a character felt.

I have included a rhetorical question to the reader.

At some point of high tension, I would like you to include a rhetorical question, where you ask the reader their opinion on what do you think is gonna happen next? Something that's going to engage them and make them think.

And then I've read my writing back to check for any mistakes, so important, every piece of writing we do, we should be stopping regularly, reading back, checking for mistakes, editing, improving.

Okay, it is now my turn, then we will come together and check using the success criteria, how my writing is looking, the things that I've done, the things I might not have done enough of yet, we will do that together.

So over to me, I'm going to write the first few sentences of the climax of "Lucky Dip".

Okay, so you join me at the start of writing my climax.

I've got my success criteria at the top of the page.

In my success criteria it says, I have included fronted adverbials of manner there.

Now, I always like to see if I can include something from my success criteria in my very first sentence.

So I'm going to add a fronted adverbial of manner to the first sentence, which means the first word I write of my climax will be a fronted adverbial of manner.

So I'm thinking it's about Emily going back inside the arcade, so she doesn't wait around outside, does she? So maybe quickly, quickly could be the fronted adverbial of manner.

Quickly, Emily ran back inside, but what happened to her? But fell over onto the hard, wooden floor.

Actually, my plan says, accidentally tripped, so I'll use that one.

Okay, so quickly, Emily ran back inside, but accidentally tripped over onto the hard, wooden floor.

Great, hard, wooden floor is from my plan too.

So quickly, capital letter at the start.

Quickly, there's my fronted adverbial of manner.

Quickly, Emily ran, R-A-N, back, B-A-C-K, I know CK is the K that likes to get at the end of words.

Quickly, Emily ran back inside.

Quickly, Emily ran back inside, but fell, oh no, I didn't want to use fell, let me cross this out, accidentally, accidentally, let me just check the spelling from my plan.

Quickly, Emily ran back inside, but accidentally tripped, but accidentally tripped over, but accidentally tripped over onto the floor.

The floor, no, let's describe the floor, because that can be the ambitious vocabulary.

So the hard, wooden floor, the splintered, wooden floor, the uneven, that's quite nice, 'cause that says why she fell over.

The uneven, comma, 'cause I'm gonna use another adjective, the uneven, let's go wooden, say what it's made of, floor.

Okay, lemme just check that sentence, capital letter, full stop, no, let's pop that in.

Let me just read it, quickly, Emily ran back inside, but accidentally tripped over onto the uneven, wooden floor.

Let me read through, okay, I've got my fronted adverbial of manner, probably need to include at least one more before I can tick that off.

But just looking at my fronted adverbial of manner, I've spotted something, I've spotted something that I have missed, I wonder if you noticed it.

What is it that I've missed about my fronted adverbial of manner? I'll give you a clue, it's a piece of punctuation that comes after it.

Yes, thank you, it is a comma, let me pop that in.

And, ah, I've spotted something else on that first line.

Can you see it? It's something to do with the word Emily.

Yeah, you're exactly right, it is of course, Emily is a proper noun, it should have a capital letter, it's someone's name, so let's do a neat diagonal line through the little E, and I'm just gonna put a capital E on top there.

Quickly, Emily ran back inside, but accidentally tripped over onto the hard, it's not hard, uneven, wooden floor.

We didn't use hard, did we? Good, that's the first sentence done.

Okay, so now the Pin Man pushes over the Lucky Dipper machine, doesn't he? So again, I can use a fronted adverbial of manner, how does he do this? I almost want to use quickly again, because he does do it straight away, and I have one, I have an adverb that works for this, and it's suddenly, suddenly, the Pin Man, let's just check my plan, violently pushed over the Lucky Dip machine.

Great, okay, so suddenly.

Suddenly, with a capital letter, and I'm not gonna forget the comma this time, suddenly, comma, the Pin Man, and I'm not gonna forget my capital letters for proper nouns either, like I did for Emily, so I'm learning as I go.

Suddenly, the Pin Man violently pushed, that's from my plan.

Violently.

Violently pushed over the Lucky Dipper machine.

Now I'm actually gonna give Lucky Dipper, because it's a proper noun too, the Lucky, oh, that looks, does that look like a D or a P? Let's cross that out, Lucky Dipper machine.

Suddenly, the Pin Man violently pushed over the Lucky Dipper machine, full stop.

Great, let me just read it through.

Capital letter, got the comma after my fronted adverbial of manner, I can actually tick that off now I think, because I've used two fronted adverbials of manner, that's enough to show that I can definitely do that.

The Pin Man violently pushed over the Lucky Dipper machine, I've got violently pushed over from my plan, accidentally tripped was from my plan as well.

The uneven floor, uneven, wooden floor, that was from plan, I think I can tick this one too, to say that I have used ambitious vocabulary from my plan.

Rhetorical question, no, I haven't got that in yet, but I could do it now, couldn't I? Suddenly, the Pin Man violently pushed over the Lucky Dipping machine, a great question I could ask the reader would be, why did he, what do you think? Why did he do this? Question mark.

That's my rhetorical question, why did he do this? We don't know, it's just such a strange thing for him to do.

So let's tick off rhetorical question, great.

I have read my writing back to check for mistakes.

Now, you might have noticed I'm constantly doing this.

At the end of every sentence I read back, halfway through a sentence I'm often going back and checking as well.

I spotted quite a few mistakes.

So I think I'm gonna hold back on ticking this until the very end, but I'm pretty confident I'm gonna be able to tick this off.

Okay, this is looking good.

Next up, it will be about Emily reaching in and grabbing the bunny from the machine.

But we'll do that as we continue to write together.

Welcome back, it's now time for you to have a go at writing your climax for "Lucky Dip".

I would like you to use your success criteria and plan to help you.

You can see your success criteria on the screen now.

Here is the plan that you will use.

If you want to, you can pause the video at any time to look closer at this, to make any notes.

This is your first key moment, the next key moment, and your final key moment from the climax.

So over to you, pause the video and write your climax of "Lucky Dip" now.

Welcome back, how did you get on? Did you find it easy to write the climax? Did you manage to include a fronted adverbial of manner? Well, now is the moment for you to pause, to stop, to read your writing back and check it makes sense, edit any errors if necessary, and tick each box when you've completed your success criteria.

So pause the video, read back, edit, improve, check, and then you'll be able to say that your climax is completed.

Do that for me now.

Welcome back, well done.

Okay, let's have a look at my climax and see how I got on.

Quickly, Emily ran back inside, but fell over onto the hard, wooden floor.

Suddenly, the Pin Man violently pushed over the Lucky Dipper machine.

Emily grabbed the bunny, but the Pin Man was walking towards her.

Nervously, the little girl stepped backwards and fell through a dark, jagged hole.

What would happen to Emily now? She opened her eyes, but the bunny ran away.

Tears filled Emily's eyes.

At that moment, the Pin Man's arms reached down, grabbed Emily, and she was thrust into the air.

Let's have a look at my success criteria, you can help me.

I have included ambitious vocabulary for my plan, have I? Can you see any there? Yes, lots of ambitious vocabulary, things like violently pushed, hard, wooden floor, dark, jagged hole, absolutely, I can tick that off.

Okay, fronted adverbials of manner, help me, are they there anywhere? I can't see them, can you see them? Ah, perfect, thank you.

Quickly, suddenly, nervously, I have, I've done three.

I always find if I'm going to tick something off in my success criteria, I want to do it two, three, four times.

I want to show my teacher that I have really mastered that skill, so I can definitely tick that off.

Okay, rhetorical question.

Now, this is one thing that you wouldn't include two, three, four times, just one would be enough for a rhetorical question, but did I include one? Okay, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking for a question mark, 'cause I know a question will have a quick.

ah, there it is, what would happen to Emily now? Yep, that's a rhetorical question to the reader, great.

And then I read my writing back to check for any mistakes.

I was doing that constantly, reading back, seeing if I needed to improve anything, anything I needed to add in terms of missing punctuation, so that can be ticked off too.

Okay, let's summarise our learning today.

The purpose of the climax is to describe the significant challenge and create the highest point of tension.

Fronted adverbials of manner tell the reader how something was done or how a character felt.

Rhetorical questions are questions addressed directly to the reader where an answer is not expected.

Brilliant work today, you have written a fantastic climax that's interesting, engaging, and exciting.

I will see you again very soon.