Lesson video

Hello, I hope you're feeling alert and ready to begin to prepare for our build up in this lesson today.

So let's get going as quickly as possible.

Okay, we are going to do a warm up, then we are going to revise and analyse, think about, what a buildup is, and what we need to include.

And we are going to identify close ups in writing.

So getting our direct film director hat on again, and deciding how to do, directing how to do different shots, with our writing, really useful skill.

And then we are going to practise writing close up so that we can use it as part of our happy print story.

You will need An exercise book or paper, you'll need a pencil or a pen.

And you'll need your brain to be switched on, so that you can practise some of your new skills.

If you don't have any of those things, maybe find the switch at the back, somewhere here, here we go.

Then make sure you do it.

Pause now, if you need anything for this lesson that you don't already have.

Okay, here's our warm up.

We're going to try and build a complex sentence, but I need your help.

I want you to be the teacher.

Here's my complex sentence, as the swallow flew over the city.

Starts with an as, does that make it a complex sentence? Hmm, what do you think? Have a look? Thumbs up, thumbs down? Okay, well done.

Thanks for telling me.

It wasn't a full sentence.

So it can't, doesn't make sense to put a capital letter and a full stop and just assume it's a sentence.

It wasn't a full sentence, I need more to it.

So could you try and build this one for me? As the swallow flew over the city, he saw, so this is how we know that it's properly weighted, we've got a verb on each side, got the relative clause first with the as, and then we've got he saw after the comma.

So let see, two clauses, which means we need two verbs, one on either side of the comma.

As the swallow flew over the city, he saw, there's our comma.

Because it's after the first relative clause, as the swallow flew over the city.

And that weighs it between the two parts.

So we've got this like a balancing scales, we need to make sure that we have a verb on either side to make sure that it's balanced.

I would like you to finish this for me.

Can you please write it down, as the swallow flew over the city, he saw, I've got a picture there that might help you.

Pause and write it down now.

Okay, can you read for me what you have written please? I'm going to listen carefully.

And maybe some mistakes or it may be all hunky dory.

Let's have a listen.

Read it out, please.

Really good try, some of those are fantastic.

Let's have a look at what it could have said, and we'll see whether yours is anywhere similar to this kind of thing.

So as the swallow flew over the city, he saw beautiful cathedrals and marble statues.

So as he did this, he saw this, they're happening at the same time.

Just checked and edit to make sure yours has a capital letter has a full stop, and has a comma, in the right place after the first relative clause.

So the first thing that happens, before the next thing happens.

Pause and check.

Okay, really, really well done for that.

Now let's revise and analyse the build up.

So we need to think about what the build up needs to have.

We've done our opening, there's a lot of writing in our machine, you did a really, really good job.

Next, it's the build up.

So what happens at the beginning of the build? The build up needs to do certain things, should we have a look at what those are? Okay.

We first of all need to remember, what happens in this section of the story.

So I want you just to reorder because these are the bits that happened in the in the build up.

And we'll decide, how those do the things that they need to do.

So here I've got them all that bit out of order.

Could you please make sure that they are in order so the next bit of the story makes sense? Pause and write down the correct order of the letters now please, off you go.

Okay, can you tell me the correct order please? You think it is? Then, then, then, okay, interesting.

Let's check.

Here is the order that I have.

First of all, the prince and the bird talk.

The prince tells the bird about the, who is it? The seamstress and the sick boy, that's right.

And then he asked them to, the bird to, yap.

And then I say, okay, just check, you've got that? So let's retell it together.

The happy prince told the bird, what did he tell the bird? Told the bird, you finish my sentence? The happy prince told the bad about a poor seamstress, and her sick son, yeah.

Then the next picture we've got the seamstress was, yeah, she was tired, she was weary.

And the boy was, sick.

That's right.

The prince asked the bird to take the, good, take the ruby.

And so the swallow, whole sentence, the swallow, lovely flew to the seamstress's house.

When the family awoke, when the family awoke, they were happy.

Yeah, when the family awoke they were relieved, lovely.

Okay, so the build up introduces a problem or how to solve a problem.

So let's think about how this part is doing that in the story.

It also builds in excitement and tension, as we begin to solve these problems. And the pace increases, and sometimes we solve many problems. Now, this isn't a kind of set thing that happens in every build up.

But it just gives you an idea of where we are in the story.

So, how do we introduce, how is a problem introduced? Or how to solve a problem introduced? So we're asked by the author in, the readers are given the question, how can we make the happy prince happy again? It's like the conflict, the problem that we have to solve? And how can the bird help the poor seamstress? Those are two key problems that we need to solve in this section.

We're also building excitement and tension.

Will the bird help? What could the prince do to help the seamstress? And it's all quite strange and magical as well.

So you feel like kind of anything could happen.

And then the pace increases.

So the swallow flies over the city, we've got some movement again.

And the first mini problem is solved in this section, because they wake up and they have this beautiful ruby.

And so we start to feel like something could be done about this problem that has been introduced.

And the main thing about the contrast in the story making us feel like maybe, as readers, we can do something to solve these kinds of problems. That's the message, isn't it? That Oscar Wilde wanted to convey.

So, here, as I mentioned, we have that kind of contrast of the poor seem stressed, and the rich could build cathedrals.

Or we also had mentioned, didn't we, earlier of the dancing in the palace with the poor people waiting at the gates, that's also a very powerful image that we had earlier.

And that's contrasting things.

And that makes it more stark, it makes it stand out more.

And it makes it kind of feel more painful that you see something so rich next to something so poor.

And that is a really effective way to convey the message.

So let's look at other techniques that are being used that we could use in our build up.

So we're focusing on this particular bit, where the prince tells the bird about the seamstress and the boy.

So close shots, when you're a director doing a film.

Close shots reveal the detail of character, so something about maybe someone being a bit sly, sly look in their eye.

Or if they're particularly sad.

So highlighting emotions and they make us feel sympathetic.

Next time you're watching telly, have a look at if someone's crying in a film.

Quite often, people do a close up.

And that's to make us feel, as people, as viewers, closer to the person who is having that emotion.

It gives us, makes us feel more sympathetic, because we identify with that character.

So quite often, it's a bit cheesy sometimes, but they do zoom in if someone's crying.

And they also tell, you sometimes conveys something that they want you to know.

So a little, a little stealing or something or a little key fact, sometimes they do a close up in a film of that, that they're trying to highlight something to you, the viewer.

And we can do that in our writing.

So for example, a single tear trickled down the statue's golden cheek.

So that's a close up, because we're watching something very close up like on the man, you can see here, a single tear falling down his cheek.

So, we want to create that effect in our writing.

So we want to highlight emotions to create sympathy in our readers.

And we can do that with the seamstress and the little boy.

So can you first of all spot for me, which one is the close up in writing? Which bits of this writing? I'm going to to read the two, and you give me an up or down of which one you think is the close up? The swallow flew high over the city, he soared past the shining cathedral with marble statues.

Okay, is that our close up? Let's read the next one.

The swallow stared into the glistening eyes of the prince, the moonlit night reflected in his sad wet sapphires.

So which one is really close into the picture? Is it the top one or the bottom one? Give me a top or bottom? Ready, steady, go.

Let's see.

It's this one.

Yeah, because we've got a close up of the eyes, and the crown.

Let's try again.

The bright, sparkling ruby on the princess sword reflected the twinkling stars of the clear night.

Or high above the city, the swallow could see the huge palace and the happy, dancing guests of a party.

Which one is a close up? Give me an up or down.

Ready, steady, go.

Well done, fantastic.

It's the one that's really close up.

So we can see particular details, there in the writing those details are described.

So we are going to practise writing some of those close ups.

She was tired.

So an effective way to show emotion to our readers is to show them how someone feels, not tell them.

So rather than say she was tired, or the seamstress was tired, we might be able to show it with particular things.

What shots would we take from this image? Which bits would we do close up, to show that she was tired? Which do you think? Other thing, we could focus close in on her, tell me, hmm her eyes or her face definitely, because when we're tired we get big bags under our eyes.

Definitely, on her face.

What else, could focus in on her? Hmm, her hands because if they're working really hard, they might be sore, they might be tired.

I know that if I'm ever doing any manual labour, so things to do with my hands.

They get very tired and sore, and sometimes blisters on my hands.

Okay, brilliant.

So hands.

What about this person here? We could say something about a close up for their face, good.

Their hair, yeah, 'cause when you're sick, sometimes and you've got a temperature, your hair gets a bit kind of sticky or ruffled or wet.

The bed, yeah, that's a really good idea.

So we could describe the bed, because that might say something about, how miserable, poor or unlucky in this situation they are.

Or the blankets, so the blanket, we wouldn't describe it as soft and warm.

It would be maybe more hard and scratchy because they can't afford to have something much nicer.

Really good ideas there, thank you.

Okay, so let's start building some sentences with these.

We're going to get some vocabulary and then we'll build sentences together.

So can you pause and describe what her hands might be like? I've got a picture of some hands there.

I've got an example, filthy, worn hands.

Can you pause and write down two more ideas for me to describe these hands, and then we'll share them all together.

Okay, let's have a look at some of your ideas.

Maybe you could tell me.

Rough dirty hands, good idea.

What else? Whisper, hmm that's a good one.

Tired hands with dirty fingernails.

Yeah, so someone who's doing lots of manual work might have dirty fingernails.

Red, raw hands.

Yeah, maybe from the needle when she's sewing by hand.

She's pricking herself and she's getting sore pinpricks that may be red and raw, oh, good idea.

Tired and aching, yeah.

Tired, aching hands or tough, dirty hands.

Those are really good ideas.

So can you pause now, and write down two of those that you like to add to your brilliant ideas? Pause the tape and do that now.

Okay, so now I want to use that brilliant vocabulary to build a sentence with you.

So let's see, her something, something hands, were something, from sewing all the dresses for the palace party.

So there we've got her sore hands, in contrast to the lovely, luxurious, fancy palace parties.

So that's another way of using the contrast.

So can you pause now and finish this sentence for me with some of the ideas that we had when we were building the vocabulary last time? Pause and write down the full sentence, please.

Okay, let's check and see what some of your ideas were.

Let's see, her red, raw hands.

So I've got two adjectives, really good.

I've got it separated with a comma, two adjectives, really good.

I've got a bit of a problem.

Do you think that's a full sentence? No, it's not a full sentence because it doesn't have a verb in it.

So we need to make sure that it's a full sentence.

Here's an example.

Her red, raw hands were tired from working hard.

So that's a full sentence there, not just an expanded noun phrase.

That's just a phrase, I have there.

So can you just check yours to make sure it is a full sentence and it's got a verb, a doing word.

Here is another one, her tough dirty hands were red and raw from the picks of her needles.

Is this a thumbs up or thumbs down? I think it's a really good sentence, actually.

There's just maybe something missing.

Can you spot what it is? Can you point? Hmm.

Yep, fantastic.

There is a comma missing.

So we need to have the comma between the two adjectives.

Can you please look back at your sentence and make sure there is a comma between the two adjectives.

Now let's build some vocabulary around her eyes.

So here, we might be thinking about what we can see in her eyes, but also how her eyes might feel.

So that's why I've got, not necessarily how our eyes would touch, just how they might feel.

So bloodshot is an example.

Can you pause and write down two more ideas to describe these eyes or her eyes? Right down now.

Okay, can you share with me one of your brilliant ideas, your favourite one shout out 3, 2, 1? Fantastic.

Let's have a look and see whether yours comes up.

Yours is probably better than these, but let's see what else other ideas we've got here.

Got tired, tired eyes.

My eyes are often quite tired.

Dark circles underneath, yeah, more as I get older.

Cloudy, that's interesting.

So cloudy, sometimes eyes can go cloudy when they have been straining for a long time and maybe sometimes when people are going blind.

So if someone's working in very low light, they might get cloudy eyes.

That's a really good idea.

Small, yeah.

When you're concentrating really hard, your eyes sometimes go quite small.

Closing from exhaustion.

So making, your eyes are so tired that you can't keep them open Or dripping with exhaustion, lovely.

So if you like any of these, you can add two more to your list of vocabulary in your book.

Pause and write those down now.

Okay, let's have a look at building these into a sentence.

So has something, something eyes were something from working in her dark, cold room.

Can you write this sentence using some of the vocabulary that we came up with together? Finish this sentence for me, pause and write it now.

Okay, let's check what you could have written.

I would like you first to read out your sentence to me.

Can you do that now for me, please? Really good.

Well done to those of you, who read it out really clearly, your full sentence.

Thank you for that.

Here's another example.

Her tired, cloudy eyes were tired from working in her dark room, dark cold room.

Thumbs up or thumbs down? Let's see, I've got my capital letter.

Got my comma between my two adjectives.

Her tired cloudy eyes, were tired from working, hmm.

There is something that doesn't quite work, so well.

Can you spot it? Can you tell me? Okay, yeah, the repetition of tired.

You kind of want to not say the same word twice in the same sentence.

So maybe we want to edit that.

If yours does that, could you edit yours? Or just tell me what other word would be better there.

Let see what an example could be.

Her small cloudy eyes were closing from working in her dark, cold room.

Yeah, that works.

Or her tired, bloodshot eyes were drooping, from working in her dim, dirty room.

Just check your sentence, make sure there's no repetition.

Make sure you have your capital letter, your full stop and your commas between the adjectives.

Edit now and just make sure.

If you think one of these sentences is particularly nice, you're welcome to copy it down as well.

Off you go.

Okay, here's another one.

We've got the face and the bed or blanket.

So what do we see? What does it feel like? And maybe what's the touch, like? So we've got a pale face.

Can you pause and describe, what does an ill face look like? How would you describe that face? Okay, give me your favourite one 3, 2, 1, really good.

Okay, hot, yeah, that was one that I got.

Down with fever.

Nice, because when you're ill you have a fever, which is the same as a temperature.

Wet hair, yeah, we talked about that before, didn't we? Thin, yeah, that's a nice idea.

It's like thin from not being able to eat enough.

Sweaty, mm hmm.

And then here, we've got the blanket, could be a rough blanket, or a hard bed or dirty hole filled blanket.

Which doesn't sound like a very nice bed to be lying in, does it? Pause and write down any that you think that you particularly like or might like to use, maybe just copy down too.

Okay, let's build that into a sentence.

His something, something face was something from hmm, you choose which one you want to do.

You could either do that one or he moaned as he turned over in his something, something bed.

Choose which one you'd like to do? Write the full sentence, pause now.

Okay, tell me your sentence.

Full sentence please.

Nice and clear, thank you for that.

So here are some examples.

His pale, thin face was damp from fever.

Or he moaned as he turned over, oh, in his hard, rough bed.

Really nice ideas there, thank you.

Pause and write down, if you've noticed that you've forgotten a comma, a capital letter or a full stop.

Fantastic.

So these ideas will help feed into our piece of writing in the next lesson.

I could, you really were digging into your brains to find really good vocabulary there.

And that will make next lesson so much easier, because we'll just get it all down into our writing.

Thank you for working hard.

You'd like to show your work to someone at home.

I think they'd be very proud of you.

Bye.