Lesson video

Hello, welcome back.

We are today going to prepare to write an opening setting of "The Happy Prince." So, let's get going.

Let's look at the agenda, what we're doing today.

So first thing is, we're going to understand camera shots in writing.

So how we can use the techniques of directors when they make a film really exciting in our writing.

Then we're going to match camera shots to writing.

Then we are going to generate some powerful vocabulary, and from that powerful vocabulary, we are going to write some star sentences together.

What we will need.

You will need your exercise book or paper, you will need a pencil or a pen, and you will need your brain.

So just go and get those now, if you don't already, and pause and make sure you're in a distraction-free or as distraction, as possible, free environment.

Pause and get that if you don't have it already.

Okay, let's do a little warmup.

We are going to build some compound sentences.

I would like you to join these two parts of the sentence together, these two clauses, to make sure that you have a good compound sentence.

So, hard-working feet move quickly, dirty children played.

So we've got two main clauses, we want to join them with but, or or and, we've got those BOA at the top, but, or and, to make a full sentence.

So what would you use? Would you use but, or, and, and what do you need to remember to make it make sense? Pause now and write this as a full sentence with but, or or and.

Okay, let's have a look at the one that I wrote, hard-working feet moved quickly and, well there's a bit of a roar outside at the moment, hard-working feet moved quickly and dirty children played.

Would you give me a two thumbs up, a one thumbs up? What might I have forgotten? Tell me.

Yeah, forgot my capital letter and full stop.

Thank you.

So hard, capital, full stop at the end.

And I've used 'and' in the middle as my joining conjunction.

The Prince's mouth was smiling, his eyes were full of tears.

Can you pause now, decide are you going to use but, or, and to join these two clauses.

Write as a full sentence for me, pause now.

Okay, I've used but this time, the Prince's mouth was smiling but, because it's the Prince was smiling, but his eyes were full of tears.

They're two clauses that don't really agree with each other so we need to put a but.

And I've got my capital letter at the beginning, we happy with that? No, well done, we are not quite happy with that.

What do I need to check? Point to it.

I have got something missing, I've got a____ missing and a___? Yeah, I've got my capital letter, I've got a full stop missing, haven't I? And there was something else, what is it? Checking carefully.

Yeah, my comma before but, so I need to have a comma before but and or but not before and.

So just check your sentence, if you use but, have you got comma? Just make sure you have a capital letter and full stop, pause now.

Right, we are going to analyse the opening, so we are going to look and think about the opening.

So the opening is the beginning of the story where lots of things get introduced.

We need to make sure that it sets the scene, that it introduces some of the main characters and that it grabs your attention or interests you.

We're going to be focusing on just this first bit, the bit where we describe a bit of the city and where we first meet the statue.

So there's really strong focus on that.

And we're going to use camera shots so you can be a director, you can direct what your reader is looking at with your writing, just like in films. So close shots, when a camera does a close shot or a closeup it reveals things about the character.

So often something to do with their facial expressions tells you things.

It highlights emotions, so it makes the, makes the viewer, the audience, whether it's writing or with film, focus on emotions, like this guy here, he's really crying and so we're thinking carefully about how that feels for him.

And they sometimes tell you things that they want you to know, so a little detail.

So if you see a hand reaching into a pocket, it's something that they want you to clock, they want you to notice.

So, here's an example of how that might be shown in writing, a single tear trickled down the statue's golden cheek.

So we're focusing really closely on that image of the tear dropping down, and that's a real closeup bit of writing.

So it also can reveal close shots, it can reveal details of a setting.

It can put the audience right into the action.

So fast feet moving like in that picture down there or dirty feet on a dirty ground, or they can also make the audience feel a little bit trapped.

So if you're just seeing feet and hands and eyes, and you don't get a wide shot, it makes you feel a bit anxious 'cause you don't really know where you are and you're trying to work out what's going on.

But that's quite a good technique as well cause it's quite exciting for the reader, for a bit.

You've got to then describe where you are somehow.

So, for example, we've got a closeup on feet here, tired feet trudged, which is like a tired army, trudging between endless jobs.

Like some people do when they're commuting in the city, their feet just like marching, trudging slowly.

Or down in a choked city, choked is like when you can't breathe, tired feet trudged between endless jobs.

Again, we're starting there with a real closeup of the feet.

And then you also have camera tilts.

So a tilt is where it starts down on one level and then it looks up, like that.

So sometimes you have that when you, ooh, you might have someone looking up to, in cartoons you have to sometimes have someone suddenly looking up to a baddie above them and realising they're in trouble, or Matilda looking up to Mrs. Trunchbull if you've read Matilda by Roald Dahl.

So here's an example of a tilt that you might do in your writing.

So down in a choked city, tired feet trudged between endless jobs, and then we tilt up to the statue towering above.

So we're down below and then we've got towering above, and that's an example of a tilt in your writing.

So we're going to match different shots to writing to see if we understand what we mean by a closeup or what we mean by different bits.

So we're going to start on the ground, you can see with the dirty feet from that picture, we're going to move to the statue and then we're going to end with the character.

So here is some writing, I would like you to put it in the right order, so the order that goes from the bottom to the top.

I want you to pause, you don't need to write anything, I just want you to decide which order the letters should go in.

Pause now, and off you go.

Okay, now tell me which order you think they go in.

Which one's the bit at the bottom? And then where do we need to end up? Should we check together? Okay.

So we've got at the beginning, down in a filthy, choked city feet moved busily along the grey streets and children played in the dirt.

So you can see you're starting on these grimy feet.

And then, looming above, so we're tilting up, these grimy streets, there was a golden statue of a prince that gleamed in the daylight.

And lastly, it's huge feet were fixed to a tall column and its head stood proudly in the cleaner air.

This stunning monument had eyes of sparking sapphires.

So we've ended up with the character there at the end.

So let's just have a vocabulary check cause there were some words in there that I think it would be helpful for you to understand.

So down in a filthy, choked city.

So filthy is really, really dirty.

So my turn filthy, your turn.

And grimy, grimy, your turn.

Filthy and grimy mean similar things, it's very, very dirty.

So looming high above these grimy streets.

So there's two ways of saying very, very dirty.

Like the street we can see in that picture.

So looming, so that's something high above, standing high above, is like these buildings here are looming above us, it's something that looks very, very tall and when you stand below, it kind of almost blocks your light.

And that's what the statue is doing, looming high above these grimy streets.

There was a golden statue of a prince that gleamed in the daylight.

My turn gleamed, your turn.

So gleamed is like these statues are gleaming, it's a slight shimmer when light reflects off something.

So these golden statues are gleaming, they gleamed in the daylight.

So then we've got this nice adjective, gleamed is a verb, adjective is stunning monuments, so it's describing the stunning monuments.

So stunning is like, oh, so amazing, it stuns you, it kind of stops you and makes you make this face like the little character there.

And that's a stunning view that I've put an example of.

So this stunning monument, so it really makes you think it's really amazing, had eyes of sparkling sapphires.

So monument is also an interesting word.

So stunning and then monument, oh I see that I haven't changed that word, monument is like a big statue.

So sometimes you can have a monument to a war, which is a place that you go to think about that thing.

And lots of statues are monuments.

So my turn, monument, your turn.

Great.

So this stunning monument had eyes of sparkling sapphires.

So a sapphire, so that's a sapphire.

My turn, sapphire, your turn.

It's a big gem, very valuable.

So it had these huge Sapphire eyes.

Okay, so let's think about what's good about this writing.

We've got lots of adjectives.

So we're really helping our reader to picture precisely what we are picturing.

It's filthy, it's choked, the streets are grey, they're grimy, and then we've got the golden statue above.

So again, those contrasts that we were talking about before.

Golden statue, its huge feet, so you can picture those big feet, were fixed to a tall column.

And then we describe it as a stunning monument.

So there's some lovely adjectives for you.

What else is good? Let's have a look.

We've got some really precise verbs.

So we described the feet as shuffling.

What we had before, trudging, was a good one.

And the children played in the dirt, and the prince that gleamed in the daylight and its feet were fixed and its head stood proudly.

So then we've got some nice fronted adverbials, and the fronted adverbials help us to do those camera actions, actually.

So down in a filthy choked city and then looming high above, we've got that tilt.

And that also makes the writing more powerful.

So let's get some of that powerful vocabulary, we probably got some of it lodged in there already, but we're going to generate some powerful vocabulary together and then we're going to write some brilliant sentences.

So, here's some pictures to help you think of some good vocabulary that we could use.

Filthy was one of them.

I want you to pause and come up with maybe three more to describe these pictures.

It's, how would we describe it? Pause now, write it down.

Okay, can you tell me now some of your brilliant ideas and then I'll pop some of them down and we can share them.

I'm sure there's other things that may not come up here that you've had brilliant ideas for, so don't worry if yours don't come up here.

Let's have a look.

Okay, the smoggy city, the dirty city, the choked city, grey children, lovely, that's a nice idea.

Grimy streets, we have that one, great if you got that.

Weary legs, so very tired is weary.

A busy city, a bustling city, so that's lots of things happening.

Thick air.

So at that time in Victorian era there were lots of coal fires, lots of pollution.

Pollution now we can't really see it so clearly, but then it was some.

So you can see from that picture, the air was sometimes really thick and hard to breathe.

So if you like any of those ideas, pause and write maybe three more down that you like from there.

Pause now.

Okay, we are going to build some sentences.

So I've chosen a few of them, bustling city, busy city, choked city, smoggy city, and we're going to build a sentence with them.

So down in a__ comma___ city, we're not going to write the full sentence just yet we'd just like to build the first bit down in a_ comma city.

What would you use, down in a? Write the beginning of that sentence, or you can choose to start your sentence in the centre of a___comma city___comma.

So choose one of those and fill in the gaps from your brilliant vocabulary.

Pause now and write it down.

Okay, tell me your ideas.

Fantastic.

Really good for you to say it out loud cause it helps you hear, and me here, whether it sounds right.

If it doesn't, sometimes you just need to adjust it.

Okay, so here's one that I did.

Down in a bustling, choked city or in the centre of a busy, smoggy city.

So I just used different ideas from our vocabulary there.

I remembered my comma in between my two adjectives.

So we're going to start building the rest of this sentence.

So I've chosen a few, filthy feet, grey children, so we're going to say what was in that city.

So down in the bustling choked city, filthy feet, down in the bustling choked city, grey children, how would you finish this sentence? We need to have a verb in there.

We could say, we could use trudged, marched, played, scampered, it depends which one you're talking about.

You might be talking about feet trudging, you might be talking about people playing or scampering, children sometimes scamper around, kind of move fast.

So how are you going to finish that sentence? I would like you to write the beginning bit down and finish it using some of these ideas.

Off you go, pause the video.

Okay, tell me some of your ideas.

Okay, tell me now, say it out loud your sentence, read what you've written.

Really good to say it out loud, fantastic for those of you who said that.

Let's see what you could have written, down in the bustling choked city, grey children played.

So we've got the comma between the two adjectives and then we've got the description of the children, grey children played, so I used played as the verb.

You could also stretch it to make a compound, so grey children played and? What would be another idea that you could put in there? Grey children played and filthy feet, weary legs, how would you finish that? Write it down for me.

You could even just cross out your full stop.

So pause the video, cross out your full stop and add another idea to make a compound sentence.

Pause now.

Okay, tell me your idea.

Say it aloud, your full sentence.

Fantastic.

Okay, here's one of your ideas.

So down in the bustling, choked city, so that's the end of our fronted adverbial, grey children played and filthy feet trudged by.

So I've got some nice, powerful verb and adjectives there, and we've got a compound sentence.

So just make sure you've got full stop in there still and edit, if you like any of those ideas.

Your ideas will probably be really good so don't, you don't need to copy mine, that's fine.

Okay, let's do some vocabulary building about the statue.

We've got it towering above, what other words could we use? Pause now and write down words to use how it's standing over and also how we might describe what it looks like.

So golden, glimmering, shining, some of those kinds of words.

Write down three ideas for me now and then, so pause and write it down, three ideas, and then resume the video.

Okay, let's have a look at some ideas.

We have the air or sky and the statue, we're talking about those different things.

So we've got towering, looming, yeah, we have that one, well remembered.

Standing proudly above, so we've got a nice adverb, proudly, in there.

High above the, high above the grimy city, that would work nicely, the clear sky, so different to the choked city below.

The cleaner sky, the blue sky, also very good.

The cleaner air, yeah, the fresh air.

There was a golden statue, so we're now talking about the statue.

A gleaming statue, or the statue was gleaming, a shimmering statue, a sparkling statue, a tranquil statue, which means it's very quiet, I think you came across that idea in one of your Mrs. Wordsmith lessons, if you did it.

Serene also, calm, quiet.

Sapphire eyes, it does have sapphire eyes, a heavy crown maybe, and a deep red ruby on the sword.

So pause and write down any, maybe three, one from each category that you really liked that you didn't already have.

Pause and write it down now.

Okay, let's build a sentence.

So, towering above, looming above, high above, choose something for that fronted bit there, was a____ statue with, and we won't finish our sentence, we'll just do the first bit, I just want you to slot in some of that vocabulary and see how it sounds, test it out now.

Pause and write the beginning of the sentence.

Okay, here's a really good example.

High above was a glimmering, golden statue of a serene prince with, really stretched it, bright sapphire eyes and a huge ruby on his sword.

Now, yours may have been shorter and still really vivid, but I wanted to show you how you could use 'with' to stretch an idea when you're describing something to make it vivid in the reader's mind.

So if you like any of those ideas, you can pause and edit, if you want to use with to stretch your sentence.

If you're happy with what you've written, that's fine, but remember, we're going to use some of these sentences later on when we start writing so the better they are now, the more you can use to slot in or the more you can have ready to put in when you start your writing.

Okay, so we looked at how we are starting on the ground, moving to the statue and ending with the character.

So we've done the first bit, we've moved to the statue, and then we ended with that character, that nice, vivid description.

So next lesson, we are going to be writing, beginning to write our opening with all your brilliant vocabulary that we've just gathered.

You've got some sentences ready to go, maybe, and we're going to put it together and write it together.

Really well done for your focus today, and I look forward to starting to put those brilliant ideas in your writing, well done.