Lesson video

Hello, and welcome to lesson 13 of our Persuasive Writing unit.

Where we have been looking at The day the Crayons Quit, to inspire us to write our own persuasive letter.

My name is Ms. Bourke and I am a teacher with the Oak Academy.

I'm really excited about our lesson today because we are going to write our second paragraph of our persuasive letter.

We have in the previous lesson, orally rehearsed our letter.

And today we are going to write it down.

I can't wait to get started, so let's go.

Let's go through our agenda for today.

First, we will do a warm up.

Then we will recap the features of persuasive letters.

After that, we will look at some steps for success for our writing today.

And finally, we will complete our task writing paragraph two of our persuasive letter.

In this lesson you will need an exercise book and some paper, a pencil, and your brain for thinking.

But you will also need the adjectives that you came up with in the previous lesson, as well as any commands or warnings that you have written down in previous lessons.

So if you don't have any of those things, please pause the video and go and get them now.

Okay, let's get started with our warm up.

In our warm up today, I would like you to correct my spelling mistakes.

I have tried to write these words, but I think I forgotten something.

I've tried to write the word, climb, crumb, lamb, and thumb.

When I sound them out, C-L-I-M, it does work, but that's not how I've seen the word climb written down before.

I think I'm missing a silent letter on the end.

I wonder if you can correct my spelling mistakes of these words.

Pause the video and write the correct spellings of these words now.

Okay, good job.

Let's have a look.

Oh, all of these words have a silent B.

Climb, crumb, lamb, and thumb.

They all needed a letter B to be added at the end.

Well done if you found and corrected my spelling mistakes, excellent work.

Let's recap the features of persuasive letters.

We're going to focus on paragraph two today.

Here is my persuasive letter.

Let's read through it together.

Dear owner, listen up! I'm your incredibly lonely, distraught board game.

Do you even remember me? Do you know how it feels to be forgotten about and left on a shelf? I feel so unloved because you never play with me anymore.

I am the saddest, most unwanted toy in the whole world! I think you should play with me because I am much more fun than watching boring, old television.

Do you remember how much fun we used to have? You used to play with me all the time, but now you only use me when it's raining.

Then, when the sun comes out, you rush outside and leave me unfinished on the table.

You are cold-hearted because you didn't even notice when the cat rudely ate one of my pieces! Start playing with me or I will completely lose it! If you don't take me off the shelf, I will run away and never come back.

You're upset, neglected friend, Board Game.

Okay, we are just going to focus on my second paragraph because you are going to write your second paragraph today.

I want you to see what features of persuasive letters you can find or what features you can remember.

Now, it's really important that we try and remember all of these features because we are going to be including them in our writing today.

So things like adjectives, looking back and remembering, maybe using a rhetorical question, opinions and reasons, commands and warnings.

I would like you to see if you can find these things in my letter now.

Pause the video and off you go.

Well done, I remember.

I wonder how many of these persuasive features you managed to find in this second paragraph of my letter? Okay, here we go.

At the beginning, we are looking back.

I've started with the question.

Do you remember how much fun we used to have, question mark.

That's looking back to the past, remembering.

You used to play with me all the time.

That's something else looking back, but now you only use me when it's raining.

That's showing the difference between the past and now.

Then I can see some adjectives in here.

I can see the adjectives unfinished, cold hearted.

And then to describe myself or for the board game to describe themselves at the end, upset and neglected.

Okay, I can see an opinion here.

You are so cold-hearted.

That is an opinion that is what the board game thinks.

And then the reason, because you didn't even notice when the cat rudely ate one of my pieces.

And then we have our command; start playing with me.

And then a warning using the joining conjunction or at the end of that command, or I will completely lose it.

And then our sentence, starting with an if, if you don't take me off the shelf, another warning, I will run away and never come back.

Maybe I should take my board game off the shelf because I would be really sad if they ran away.

Okay, let's have a look at our steps for success.

What do we need to do to be successful in our writing today? Let's have a look.

Firstly, we need to use our plan.

Here is our plan for paragraph two.

We need to firstly, look to the past with a question.

Then we need to look to the past and say one clause or one thing that happened in the past, that was good.

And our second clause, something that's happening now, that's not so good.

And we would use the coordinating conjunction, but to join those clauses.

Then we need to give an opinion and a reason.

I think because, or I feel because, or you could choose to use the joining conjunction.

So we will also be writing a command and a warning.

Make sure you've got any notes from previous lessons.

I've got my notes from previous lessons here, including all of those adjectives that you have written down, because you might want to use anything from a previous lesson in your writing today.

Okay, our steps to success are: Number one, the most important, use your plan.

We are going to be using our plan and writing our second paragraph step by step today.

We must make sure we are checking for capital letters and full stops or question marks or exclamation marks.

Oh, it's really important that we use say, write, read.

Say our sentence aloud, write our sentence down and read it back to make sure it makes sense and that there's no mistakes.

And finally, it's always important to edit and improve our work.

Okay, today's aims. We will need to use precise adjectives to describe the characters feelings.

We will need to look back using a question or using a rhetorical question.

We will need to add complex sentences, which give opinions and reasons, and we will need to write commands and warnings.

Okay, are you ready for writing? If you're not ready for writing, pause the video now and make sure you have everything you need.

Because we are going to now complete our task, writing paragraph two of our persuasive letter.

We are going to be using our plan together today to write our second paragraph in really easy steps.

So we know exactly where we're up to.

So the first thing on our plan it says to look to the past with a question.

What question could you use? Maybe you remember for when, from when you said it aloud in our previous lesson, have a think.

I think my first sentence and my question looking to the past will be, do you remember all the amazing comma fun times we have shared? I'm using my adjectives, amazing and fun.

I'm going to write that down now and I'm going to read through it.

Do you remember all the amazing comma fun times we have shared? I've remembered my capital letter.

I remembered my comma between my adjectives and I've remembered my question mark at the end.

Okay.

Now it's your turn.

You need to pause the video and write your question.

Looking to the past.

You might want to start with the words, do you remember? What does your object want you to remember? Pause the video and write your question now.

Okay, good job.

Wow, we've already completed the first parts of our plan.

Let's look at what's next.

Now we need to look to the past using coordinating conjunction, but.

So that means our first part of our sentence is going to be something positive.

And the second part of our sentence is probably going to be, it's going to be something negative am.

We're going to join those two ideas with the conjunction, but.

So we're looking to the past, there's something positive that happened in the past.

Have a think.

I know what my positive thing is going to be.

We used to spend so much time together.

That's what the board game wants.

The board game wants to go, to go back to spending all that time together.

So that's my first clause.

We used to spend so much time together.

I've got my comma before the coordinating conjunction, but, but what, but what now? We used to spend so much time together, but now.

Oh, I know, but now you only use me on cold comma rainy days.

That's what I'm going to write down.

But now you only use me on cold comma rainy days, full stop.

Remembering that full stop at the end of my sentence.

Okay, now it's your turn.

It's your turn to write your compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction, but.

What's something good that happened in the past.

What's something not so good, that's happening now.

Pause the video and write to your sentence.

Brilliant work.

It's always good to just have a quick read through.

Did you remember your capital letter? Did you remember your comma before, but? Did you remember your full stop? If you didn't, you might want to pause the video and correct those things now.

Okay, so we have looked to the past, writing a compound sentence.

Now it is time for us to give an opinion and a reason for that opinion.

I'm going to start my opinion with, you are.

I'm going to talk about what the reader is, you are.

I think I'm going to say that the reader is unkind.

You are so unkind.

That is my opinion.

Okay, you are so unkind.

Actually, I think I could come up with a more ambitious word than unkind.

I think I could choose something like maybe heartless, maybe heartless is a more precise adjectives to describe my reader.

So I'm going to change it.

You are so heartless because.

Have a think.

Why does my object think I'm heartless? Why does your object maybe think you are heartless? I'm so heartless because, because you don't care that I'm lonely and covered in dust.

So I had a quick look at my notes to remind me what my object thought, because you don't care that I'm lonely and covered in dust.

That's going to be my next sentence.

Okay, I think I want to add another reason here.

I'm going to add another sentence.

Another reason, proving to the owner, why I think they are heartless.

So I'm going to start my sentence with you didn't even notice.

You didn't even notice when two of my pieces fell under the fridge.

That's going to be my next reason.

You didn't even notice when two of my pieces fell under the fridge.

So my opinion is that the owner is heartless.

And my two reasons are one, because they don't care that I'm lonely and covered in dust.

And two, they didn't even notice when two of my pieces fell under the fridge.

Now it's your turn.

It's your turn to write your opinion and your reasons.

Don't forget to use the joining conjunctions because.

Also pause the video and write your opinion and reasons now.

Good job, making sure you've checked for your capital letters and full stops.

Okay, we've given our opinion and reason.

Now it's the fun part.

Now it's time for our command.

We have written some commands in some previous lessons.

So now would be a good opportunity for you to go and have a look at those commands and see what you have written down previously.

I'm going to do that same, the same thing.

Ah, here we go.

I've got my command here.

Start playing with me.

That's my command.

I'm going to write that down.

Start playing with me, exclamation mark.

Ah, but I remember that I could add an or to this sentence and include a warning at the end so I could get rid of my exclamation mark and add an or.

Start playing with me or.

What will I do or, oh, I know.

Or I will completely lose it.

Start playing with me or I will completely lose it, exclamation mark.

Showing the reader that I'm really serious there.

Okay, it's your turn to write your commands now.

Don't forget that, at the end of our command, we can use an exclamation mark.

If you want to really challenge yourself, you can include the coordinating conjunction or to show what will happen if they don't.

If the reader doesn't follow your command.

Okay, pause the video and write your command now.

Excellent work.

I bet you came up with a really bossy command for your reader.

Good job.

Okay, we are almost done.

Now, we only have one more job to do, and that is our warning.

Our warning, what are you going to warn the reader about? I think I'm going to start with an if, if you don't, if you don't use me soon, I will run away.

That's my sentence.

I'm going to say it again.

If you don't use me soon, I will run away.

There it is, if you don't use me soon comma, I will run away exclamation mark.

But I think I could stretch myself even more.

I think I could challenge myself and persuade the reader even more.

I think I could add another rhetorical question.

I think I'm going to ask the reader how they would feel if I ran away.

So if you don't use me soon, I will run away.

How would you feel then? So really making them think about the consequences if they don't start to treating the board game correctly, the board game will run away.

And how will that make the reader feel? How would you feel then question mark.

If you wanted to challenge yourself today, you could add another rhetorical question after your warning.

Okay, it's your turn to write your warning now.

You could start your warning with, if you don't.

If you don't then what will happen? Don't forget, you could also write another rhetorical question.

If you wanted to, pause the video now and write your warning.

Okay, excellent.

We are almost finished.

There's just one more thing we need to do.

We need to say who our letter is from.

We have used our plan.

We have looked to the past.

We have looked to the past again, using, writing a compound sentence.

We have given an opinion and a reason.

We have written a command.

We have written a warning, but we haven't told the reader who the letter is from yet.

So we need to do that now.

We need to describe ourselves to make the reader feel sorry for us.

So I'm going to sign my letter from your lonely comma, heartbroken friend.

And then my name, which is Board Game, because I'm pretending to be the board game.

I would like you to write your sign off now.

You're lonely, heartbroken friend is how I've signed off my letter.

How are you going to sign off your letter? What adjectives would you use to describe your character? Okay.

Well done.

You have completed your whole letter.

In a previous lesson we wrote paragraph one.

And now today we have written paragraph two.

We have completed our whole letter.

It's a really good idea now to read through our whole letter.

Here is mine.

Dear Ms Bourke, Listen up! It's me, you're incredibly distraught and lonely Board Game.

Have you completely and utterly forgotten about me? Do you know what it's like to be left on a dusty old shelf all by myself with no friends? I feel unbelievably neglected because you haven't played with me in years.

I think you should play with me more because I am amazingly fun.

I always hear you laughing when you use me.

So you should take me off the shelf.

Do you remember all the amazing fun times we have shared? We used to spend so much time together, but now you only use me on cold, rainy days.

You are so heartless because you don't care that I'm lonely and covered in dust.

You didn't even notice when two of my pieces fell under the fridge.

Start playing with me or I will completely lose it! If you don't use me soon, I will run away! How would you feel then? Your lonely, heartbroken friend, Board Game.

Pause the video now and read through your own amazing writing.

I hope you feel incredibly proud of yourselves for all your fantastic writing because you have been working so hard.

Pause the video now and read through your writing.

Well done.

Today, you have done a warmup.

You've recapped the features of persuasive letters.

We have looked at our steps for success and you have written paragraph two of your persuasive letter.

My goodness.

Give yourselves a pat on the back.

Congratulations, you have completed your lesson.

If you would like to, please share your work with the parents or carer.

You can also share your work with Oak National.

If you'd like to, please ask your parent or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak.

Well done today.