Lesson video

Hi everybody, I'm Miss Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, Non Chronological Report on King Tut.

I'm really excited for today's lesson because we get to read back through all the amazing writing we've done and also that our partner has done because we're gonna be doing some peer editing.

So let's get started.

So in today's lesson from our Non Chronological Report unit on King Tut, we are going to go back through the section we wrote about the death of King Tut and make some edits to both our work and our partner's work.

So your learning outcome is, I can edit my own and my peer's section about the death of King Tut in a non chronological report.

So let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Editing, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

Editing is the process of improving writing, to improve text flow and overall quality.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences, for example, comma, full stop, question mark.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning, and vocabulary refers to the language choices made by the writer.

So there are three sections in our lesson today.

In the first we'll be peer editing punctuation.

In the second we'll be peer editing sentence structure.

And then the third we'll be peer editing language.

So let's start with peer editing punctuation.

So editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing.

When you edit, you decide what you will change, and what you will keep the same.

Even really successful writers need and want to edit their work.

Editing does not mean rewriting everything you've done, or again, it is about making select corrections and improvements.

So checking for understanding, true or false.

If you are asked to edit your work, it means it's full of mistakes.

Pause the video now.

That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, editing is something we do at school because children are much more likely to need to edit their work than adults, or B, editing is something all writers do because it's a chance to improve their work and make it better.

Pause the video now.

That is B.

Everybody needs to edit their work, even the most professional writers.

Well done.

So the job of an editor is to do all of these.

Check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, make improvements in vocabulary choices.

In this lesson, you are going to be editors.

You'll be working together with your partner and editing each other's work.

This is called, we'll do my turn your turn, peer editing.

So checking for understanding.

Editing is the process of A, rewriting a whole piece of text, B, checking for punctuation errors, C, making improvements to sentence structure or D, writing the text again with better handwriting.

Pause the video now.

Editing is the process of B, checking for punctuation errors and C, making improvements to sentence structure.

You do not need to rewrite your whole text again when you're editing.

So let's first think about checking for punctuation errors.

Editing for punctuation errors means finding mistakes with capital letters, full stops and commas.

We can use an editing checklist to help ensure we are accurately correcting all of our punctuation errors.

So our checklists include, have we checked for missing or incorrectly used capital letters? Have we checked for missing or incorrectly used full stops? Have we checked for missing or incorrectly used commas? Let's have a go at practising this.

So let's check for missing or incorrectly used capital letters first.

In this sentence, "His tomb was discovered by Howard Carter." So you can see I'm sure, there are some errors with our capital letters.

His tomb, his is the first sentence of this, the first word in the sentence.

So his needs to begin with a capital letter.

"His tomb was discovered", discovered is a verb in the middle of a sentence, it doesn't need a capital letter, so we can cross out the capital D and replace it with a lowercase D.

And then finally by Howard Carter.

Howard Carter is the name of the archaeologist.

Howard and Carter are both proper nouns, so they both need a capital letter.

So you can see I crossed out the lowercase C and replaced it with a capital C.

So now I can tick off my checklist, the first point, have we checked for missing or incorrectly used capital letters? Yes we have.

Checking for understanding.

What are two uses of capital letters? A, they are used to begin all nouns.

B, they are used to begin proper nouns.

C, they're used at the beginning of sentences.

D, they are used to begin adverbs.

So pause the video now.

That's right, capital letters are used to begin proper nouns, B, and C, they are used at the beginning of sentences.

Well done.

So now let's think about checking for missing or incorrectly used full stops in the example sentence below.

You can see, "King Tut died, at the age of 19." I wonder if you can spot the same mistakes that I can.

King Tut died.

That is a sentence, but the full stop shouldn't come in the middle of the sentence.

The whole sentence is, "King Tut died at the age of 19." So we need to cross out that full stop in the middle, and put a full stop at the end after 19.

And you can see I've done that in purple, because there was a missing full stop to end the sentence.

So now I can tick off my checklist, have we checked for missing or incorrectly used full stops? Yes we have.

So checking for understanding.

Where are full stops placed in a sentence? A, after a fronted adverbial, B, at the start of a sentence, C, at the end of a sentence, or D, at the end of a question.

Pause the video now.

Full stops are placed C, at the end of a sentence.

Well done.

Okay, now let's check for missing or incorrectly used commas.

Let's have a look at this example.

"Additionally, they discovered about 5,000 golden expensive treasures in his tomb." I wonder if you can think about the comma rules you know, and see where there might be missing or incorrectly used commas.

So "additionally" is a fronted adverbial, so we need a comma after it.

"Golden expensive treasures" is an expanded noun phrase, so we need a comma in between the two adjectives, golden and expensive.

I'd made a mistake, I'd put the comma after expensive, so I've had to cross that out.

It doesn't matter if we make a mistake, that's why we're editing.

We can neatly cross it out and make our corrections.

So now I can check the final point off my checklist, 'cause we have checked for the missing or incorrectly used commas in this sentence.

Let's check though for another missing comma in this sentence 'cause we're thinking about our comma rules that we know in complex sentences.

"When King Tut died, his body was mummified." When King Tut died, is an example of what kind of clause? A subordinate clause.

It doesn't make sense by itself, so we need to have a comma after it to separate it from the main clause.

So that's okay that I've made a mistake, and I've forgotten the comma there, I've just put it in neatly now when I'm editing.

So now I can tick that off my checklist again, we have checked for missing or incorrectly used commas.

Checking for understanding.

When are commas used? Select three.

A, to mark the end of a sentence.

B, after an adverbial subordinate clause when it comes first in a complex sentence.

C, after a fronted adverbial, or D, to separate adjectives in an expanded noun phrase.

Pause the video now.

We use commas in B, C, and D.

Well done everybody.

Okay, it is time for task A.

Now you are going to peer edit the death of King Tut section of your report, looking only at punctuation.

So you're going to be checking for all of these, capital letters, full stops, and commas.

And you're checking that if they're missing or if they're incorrectly used.

So follow these steps in order to peer edit successfully.

Get into partners and name yourselves A and B.

Partner A places their book on top of partner B's book.

So you are looking at partner A's work at the moment first.

Partner A reads aloud their writing as B holds a different coloured pen.

Partner B makes edits to partner A's writing.

Then you swap books and repeat these steps.

So pause video now, and off you go editing punctuation in each other's death of King Tut sections of your non chronological reports.

Off you go.

Okay, well done everybody, welcome back.

Did you use the checklist to edit your work? I'm going to now show you an example of some successful editing.

I'll read out loud this paragraph.

And as I'm reading, I wonder if you can spot any punctuation errors I'll need to edit.

"What happened to King Tut when he died? Sadly, King Tut died at the age of 19.

When he passed away, his body was mummified and it was preserved very well, for 3000 years.

Howard Carter discovered King Tut's tomb in 1922 and he found Tutankhamun buried with 5,000 treasures, including a throne, crown, and jewellery.

In addition, they discovered his two unborn mummified children in the tomb.

As a result, King Tut was not able to pass the throne to his family." So first thing on our checklist is checking for missing or incorrectly used capital letters.

So I'll show you the edits that I've made.

His body, body didn't need a capital letter, it's not proper noun and it's not the start of the sentence, so you can see I neatly crossed out the capital B and replaced it with a lowercase B.

He found Tutankhamun, Tutankhamun is a proper noun, it is the name of the Pharaoh.

And I didn't have a capital letter, so I replaced the lowercase T with a capital T.

And then finally, "in addition", that was the start of a sentence, and I'd forgotten to use a capital letter.

So I replaced my lowercase I with a capital I.

So I can tick the first point off my checklist.

Now, thinking about any missing or incorrectly used full stops.

Did you spot any? I did make a couple of mistakes, "And it was preserved very well" full stop, "for 3000 years", I didn't need that full stop in the middle of the sentence.

So you can see I crossed it out.

And in my final sentence I'd forgotten a full stop.

So you can see I've added it in.

So I can give myself a tick on that part of the checklist.

And then finally, checking for missing and incorrectly used commas.

Did you spot any missing or incorrectly used commas? So you could see at the start, "sadly", is a fronted adverbial, so I needed to add in a comma after that.

You can see I've done that.

And I'd forgotten my comma in between my two adjectives in an ENP, "his two unborn" comma, "mummified children".

So I added in the comma there.

So I can give that a tick off my checklist too.

If you need to go back and make some more edits to your punctuation, you can pause the video and do that now.

Otherwise, really well done.

Okay, it's time for the second section of our lesson where we are peer editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

We can use an editing checklist again to help ensure we are accurately improving our sentences.

So, have we reread each sentence aloud to check it makes sense? And has an appropriate conjunction been used to join two clauses? And finally, have a variety of sentence types being used? So we're going to be thinking about all these points when we make edits to sentence structure.

Checking for understanding, true or false.

When we edit sentence structure, we read each sentence aloud to check it makes sense.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, we say sentences aloud to check for missing words and to check for sense.

B, once a sentence has been written, it cannot be changed.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it is A, we can definitely make changes to our sentence structure after we've written them.

And by saying it out loud, that will really help us to check if the sentences make sense or if we need to make any changes.

Well done.

So let's check for sentence structure in an example.

"Scientists not certain how King Tut died, they believe cause could have been malaria or an infected leg." So the first point on our checklist, have we read each sentence to check it makes sense? Just by reading that sentence out loud, I could hear it didn't sound right.

I could hear there was some missing words.

I wonder if you spotted which words were missing.

It doesn't matter that I've missed them out, I can edit them in.

So you can see there I've said that scientists are not certain how King Tut died, but they believe the cause.

So are was my missing verb and the was my missing article.

And I've just added them in.

So I can give myself a tick off that point of the checklist.

I've checked for missing words, and I've checked for sense.

I also had to check for any missing conjunctions and I'd forgotten to use a conjunction to join those two clauses.

So I added in the coordinating conjunction but, to join those two main clauses together in a compound sentence.

So I can give myself a tick.

Have I used a variety of sentence types? In this example I haven't.

So I've added in a simple sentence to follow, so that I do have a range of sentence types now.

I've said, "They have taken DNA tests to find out more information." That's a simple sentence and it follows the compound sentence, so I can give myself a tick.

So checking for understanding, how do you form a compound sentence? A, join two main clauses with any conjunction.

B, join two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction.

C, join two main clauses by removing a full stop, or D, write two separate main clauses.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it is B, two main clauses are joined with a coordinating conjunction and, but, or, or, in a compound sentence.

Well done.

Okay, it is time for task B.

Now you are going to peer edit the death of King Tut section of your report, this time just looking at sentence structure.

So you're going to check for all of these things.

Check each sentence makes sense, check a conjunction has been used, and check a variety of sentence types has been used.

And you're going to follow the same steps as before, to peer edit successfully.

So pause the video now, and off you go peer editing the sentence structure in your section about the death of King Tut.

Off you go.

Okay, welcome back everybody.

Did you use the checklist to help edit your work? Did you find it useful? I'm going to show you an example of some successful editing.

As I'm reading this out loud, I want you to be listening to check if every sentence makes sense, or if there are any missing words, any missing conjunctions, or if I have a range of sentence types.

"What happened to King Tut when he died? Sadly, King Tut died at the age of 19.

When he passed away, body was mummified and it was very well.

For 3000 years.

Howard Carter discovered King Tut's tomb in 1922 he found Tutankhamun buried with 5,000 treasures, including a throne, crown and jewellery.

In addition, they discovered his two unborn mummified children in the tomb.

As a result, King Tut was not able to pass the throne to his family." So just by saying those sentences, I could hear that some words were missing.

So I've added them in.

I'd forgotten his, before, his body was mummified.

And I'd forgotten preserved, it was very well preserved.

So I can give myself a tick for that 'cause I've added in those missing words.

I wonder if you spotted the missing conjunction.

In that sentence beginning, "Howard Carter discovered King Tut's tomb in 1922", I'd forgotten a coordinating conjunction.

So I've added in, and, and now I have a compound sentence.

"And he found Tutankhamun buried with 5,000 treasures, including a throne, crown and jewellery." So I've added in my conjunction so I can give the second point on my checklist a tick.

And then finally, have a variety of sentence types been used? I replaced, as a result, with the conjunction so, the subordinating conjunction so, so that my final sentence is now, my final two sentences, which were two simple sentences have become now one complex sentence.

So now I have more of a variety of sentence types, so I can give myself a tick.

Okay, really well done everybody.

If you need to go make some more edits to your sentence structure, you can do that now.

Otherwise, great job, and let's move on to the third section of our lesson, peer editing language.

When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

Editing word choices can have a significant impact on writing by improving clarity, so making things more clear, tone and effectiveness.

When editing language, make sure you do all of these.

Check that language choices are ambitious to engage the reader, and choose language that matches the text type, we are writing a non chronological report, that's a nonfiction text, so we need to make sure our language is formal and factual.

So checking for understanding, true or false.

When editing language, you change some of the words and phrases.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can use A or B to justify your answer.

A, when we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

B, when we edit language, we make changes to punctuation.

Pause the video now.

That is A, editing language means making some changes to the words and phrases we've used.

Well done.

So let's check the language choices in an example, and let's use the checklist to help us when making some edits.

"Howard Carter found lots of cool artefacts buried with King Tut.

That was very exciting." So have ambitious language choices been used to engage the reader? I didn't think cool, was very ambitious.

So I, or factual, so I replaced cool, with "approximately 5,000 well preserved artefacts." So instead of just saying lots of, I was more detailed, more factual, I said approximately 5,000, and instead of saying cool, I said well preserved, because that is more factual.

So I can give myself a tick.

Does my language match the text type? Saying, "That was very exciting", it doesn't match the tone of a non chronological report.

It's not very formal.

So I replaced, "That was very exciting", with, "The archaeologist learned many fascinating things about King Tut through studying these artefacts." That's much more formal and factual.

And now that matches the text type of a non chronological report much more, so I can give myself a tick off the checklist.

So checking for understanding.

Language in non chronological reports is which of these? A, funny, B descriptive, C, factual, or D formal? Pause the video now.

That's right, language is factual and formal in a non chronological report.

Well done.

Okay, it is time for task C.

Now you are going to peer edit the death of King Tut section of your report, this time looking at language choices.

So you'll be checking for these, ambitious language choices, particularly adjectives, and checking that your language matches the text type, that it is formal and factual.

Again, you'll need to follow the same steps to peer edit successfully.

So pause the video now, and off you go editing the language choices in yours and your partner's work.

Okay, welcome back everybody.

Did you use the checklist to help you edit your work? I'm going to now show you an example of some successful editing of language choices.

I'm going to read the section out loud and as I'm reading, I would like you to check to see if there are any edits I should be making to my language choices.

"What happened to King Tut when he died? King Tut died at the age of 19.

How sad.

When he passed away, his body was mummified and it looked the same for 3000 years.

Howard Carter discovered King Tut's tomb in 1922 and he found Tutankhamun buried with 5,000 treasures, including a throne, crown and jewellery.

And they discovered his two unborn mummified children in the tomb.

Annoyingly, King Tut was not able to pass the throne to his family." So can I make any edits to my language choices? Can I make them more ambitious? So instead of saying, "How sad", I replaced it with the fronted adverbial, "Unfortunately", as I thought that was a more formal and appropriate way to share this information.

And instead of saying, "It looked the same", about his body, I described his body as "well preserved", as that is a more precise and factual adjective.

So I can give myself a tick for the ambitious language choices, edits that I've made.

Have I checked that my language matches the text type? Instead of starting my sentence with and, I used the formal fronted adverbial, "In addition".

And instead of saying, "Annoyingly, King Tut was not able to pass the throne", I used the fronted adverbial of cause, "As a result", which we know is a feature of a non chronological report.

So these two changes I've made, means my language choices are more formal and match the text type of a non chronological report.

So I can give myself a tick.

Now you can pause the video and go back and make any extra changes you need to, to your language choices if you need to.

Really well done.

Okay, well done everybody.

Here is a summary of everything we have learned today.

Peer editing is the process of working collaboratively when making changes to improve writing.

The job of an editor is to check the punctuation and to make improvements to sentence structure and language choices.

When editing punctuation, missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops and commas are checked.

When editing sentence structure, changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow are made.

And when editing vocabulary, reviews of words and phrase choice are made to ensure appropriate tone is achieved.

Great job everybody.

Well done for working so hard.