Lesson video

Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

I'm really excited for our lesson today from our unit non-chronological report on healthy lifestyle, as we're going to be able to look back through what we've written so far and make some edits.

So thank you for joining us on today's lesson, and let's get started.

In this lesson from our unit on non-chronological report about a healthy lifestyle, we are going to be making some edits to our section on the diet.

So your learning outcome is: I can edit my own and my peer's section about the diet in a non-chronological report about a healthy lifestyle.

So let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Editing, punctuation, sentence structure, vocabulary.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

Editing is the process of improving writing to improve text flow and overall quality.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences so, for example, full stops, commas, exclamation marks.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning, and vocabulary refers to the language choices made by the writer.

So there are three sections of our learning today.

In the first we'll be peer editing punctuation, in the second we'll be peer editing sentence structure, and in the third we'll be peer editing language.

So let's start with peer editing punctuation.

So what is editing? Editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing, to make it better.

When you edit, you decide what you will change and also what You'll keep the same.

You don't have to change and rewrite everything when you edit, I'm sure there'll be loads from your writing that you want to keep.

Even really successful writers need and want to edit their work.

Editing doesn't mean rewriting everything all over again, it is about making select corrections and improvements.

So, checking for understanding, true or false: if you're asked to edit your work it means it's full of mistakes.

Pause the video now.

That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, editing is something we do at school because children are much more likely to need to edit their work than adults; or B, editing is something all writers do because it's a chance to improve their work and make it better.

Pause the video now.

It is B.

Everyone, even professional writers, need to edit their work.

Well done.

So the job of an editor is to check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, and make improvements in vocabulary choices.

In this lesson, you are going to be the editors, but you are not just going to be editing your own work you are going to have a chance to look at your partner's or another person in your class" work as well, which is really exciting.

You'll be working together with a partner and editing each other's work.

This is called, my turn your turn, peer editing.

So, checking for understanding.

Editing is the process of, A, rewriting a whole piece of text; B, checking for punctuation errors; C, making improvements to sentence structure; or D, writing the text again with better handwriting.

Pause the video now.

that's right, editing is B, checking for punctuation errors, and C, making improvements to sentence structure.

Well done.

(mouse clicks) So editing for punctuation errors means finding mistakes with capital letters, full stops, and commas.

We can use an editing checklist to help ensure we are accurately correcting all of our punctuation errors.

So this checklist will remind you about what we need to be looking for.

Have we checked for missing or incorrectly used capital letters? Have we checked for missing or incorrectly used full stops? Have we checked for missing or incorrectly used commas? So let's check for some missing or incorrectly used capital letters first, 'cause that's the first point on our checklist.

Here is a sentence from the diet paragraph of our healthy lifestyle non-chronological report.

"Protein helps to strengthen our muscles." So when we're editing, we're looking for missing or incorrectly used capital letters first.

You can see at the start we have a missing capital letter, so I've edited that neatly, I've crossed out the lowercase "p" and replaced it with a capital "P" 'cause it's the start of our sentence.

And "our muscles", our doesn't need a capital letter because it's in the middle of a sentence; it's not a proper noun.

So I've crossed out the capital "O" and replaced it with a lowercase "o." So now I can take that off my checklist, I've checked for missing or incorrect capital letters.

What are two uses of capital letters? let's check for understanding.

A, they're used to begin all nouns; B, they are used to begin proper nouns; C, they're used at the beginning of sentences; or D, they're used to begin adverbs.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it is B and C.

Well done.

So now we're checking for incorrectly used or missing full stops.

Here is the sentence: "Seeds contain lots of fibre and vitamins." So are there any missing or incorrectly used full stops? We can see we don't need a full stop after "lots" because "seeds contain lots" is not a complete sentence, so I'm going to cross that out.

"Seeds contain lots of fibre and vitamins" is a complete sentence, and I've forgotten a full stop.

So you can see I've added one in and crossed it in purple.

So now I can take that off my checklist as well.

Checking for understanding: where are full stops placed in a sentence? A, after the front of an adverb; B, at the start of a sentence; C, at the end of a sentence; or D, at the end of a question.

Pause the video now.

That's right, full stops mark the end of a sentence.

Well done.

Final point on our checklist for punctuation errors is checking for missing or incorrectly used commas.

So let's read the first sentence: "Additionally, nutritious, filling whole grains are important in our diet." So I can see that there are two missing commas in the sentence.

The first is after "additionally" because it is a formal fronted adverbial.

So there was a missing comma after that.

There was another missing comma in between "nutritious" and "filling", because that is an ENP, it's two adjectives describing whole grains so you need that comma in between the two adjectives.

So you can see I've just added it in in purple, and I can now tick that point off my checklist.

We also need to think about the comma rule in complex sentences, so I'm going to read this complex sentence out loud, and I wonder if you can spot if there's a missing comma.

"As they're high in fibre, whole grains are excellent for the gut." (mouse clicks) "As they're high in fibre" is a subordinate clause, so it needs a comma after it, before the main clause, to separate your subordinate clause and your main clause in a complex sentence.

"As they're high in fibre, whole grains are excellent for the gut." So I can take that off my checklist, sorry.

So, checking for understanding: when are commas used? Select three.

A, to mark the end of a sentence; B, after an adverb clause when it comes first in a complex sentence; C, after a fronted adverbial; or D, to separate adjectives in an ENP.

Pause the video now.

That's right, the three reasons we use commas are B, C, and D.

Well done.

Okay, it's time to task A.

Now, together with your partner, you are going to peer edit the healthy diet section of your report, looking only at punctuation.

So you're going to be checking for these, capital letters, full stops, and commas.

Now, just to peer edit successfully, it's really important you follow the steps in this order.

First, get into partners and name yourselves A and B.

Partner A then places their book on top of Partner B's book, so you are looking at Partner A's writing.

Partner A reads their writing aloud as B holds a different coloured pen.

Partner B makes edits to Partner A's writing, but you are working together and supporting each other and helping each other, and explaining to each other why you might be making these edits.

Then you swap books and repeat these steps.

Pause the video now, and off you go peer editing punctuation in your diet section of the report.

Welcome back, everybody.

Did you use the checklist to edit your work? I'm gonna show you an example of some successful editing, and if you need to go back and pause the video and do some more edits to your work, you can do that after we've gone through this.

So I'm gonna read the paragraph out loud, and as I'm reading it, I want you to be looking to see if there's any punctuation errors that we'll need to correct.

What is a healthy diet? A balanced diet includes a variety of food groups that provide different nutrients to keep us strong and energetic, it's important to eat lots of protein, because this helps grow and repair muscles.

In addition, scientists recommend eating whole grains as they release energy slowly to keep us fuller for longer.

Foods high in sugar and trans fats can be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet; however, they should be eaten in moderation.

So let's start from missing or incorrectly used capital letters.

You can see the edits I made in purple.

Different, different nutrients in the middle of my sentence didn't need a capital letter, so I changed that to a lowercase "d." Foods high in sugar was the start of my sentence, so "foods" needed a capital letter, and "eaten" in moderation, there's a capital letter "T" in the middle of the word which didn't need to be there, so I replaced that with a lowercase "t." So I can give myself a tick.

Have I checked for missing or incorrectly used full stops? So you can see after "energetic," my first sentence, I needed a full stop, but I also got rid of the full stop after "protein", it is important to eat lots of protein because, because it's part of the same sentence so I got rid of that full stop and crossed it out neatly.

So now I give myself a tick.

Have I checked for missing or incorrectly used commas? "Foods high in sugar and trans fat," you didn't need a comma in between "sugar" and "and," so I crossed that out.

But I did need a comma after "however," my formal fronted adverbial, so I added that in.

So now I can give myself a tick on my checklist.

I hope that was helpful, if you need to pause the video and go back and do a few more edits to punctuation errors, you can do that now.

Otherwise, really well done.

(mouse clicks) It's now time for the second section of our learning where we are peer editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

So we can use an editing checklist again to help ensure we are accurately improving our sentences.

(mouse clicks) So, have we reread each sentence to check it makes sense? (mouse clicks) Has an appropriate conjunction been used to join two clauses? (mouse clicks) And have we used a variety of sentence types: so simple, compound, complex? Checking for understanding: true or false.

When we edit sentence structure, we read each sentence aloud to check it makes sense.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can we use A or B to justify our answer? A, we say sentences out loud to check for missing words and to check for sense.

B, once a sentence has been written, it cannot be changed.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it's A.

It's so important to say our sentence out loud 'cause that's how we can hear if it makes sense.

(mouse clicks) So let's check sentence structure in an example.

Here is a sentence from the diet paragraph: "Sugary foods can part of a balanced diet, they must be eaten in moderation." So just by saying it out loud, I can hear it doesn't sound quite right.

Why doesn't it sound quite right? There's some missing words.

"Sugary foods can be part," there was a missing verb "be" of a balanced diet.

There was the missing article "a" before the noun.

So I can check that off my success criteria, I checked for those missing words.

Has a conjunction been used to join the two clauses? There was two clauses there but there was no conjunction, so I added in "but," a compound sentence was formed by using the coordinating conjunction "but." So I can give myself a tick.

Has a variety of sentence types been used? Not in this mode, not here, there's just a compound sentence.

So I'm going to add in another simple sentence.

"This also applies to food high in trans fat." Now I've actually got a variety, two different types of sentences, so I can give myself a tick.

So, checking for understanding, how do you form a compound sentence? A, join two main clauses with any conjunction.

B, join two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction.

C, join two main clauses by removing a full stop, or D, write two separate main clauses.

Pause the video now.

That's right, a compound sentence is formed with two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction.

Well done.

So, it's time for task B.

Now, you are going to peer edit the healthy diet section of your report, but this time looking only at sentence structure.

You're going to be checking for all of these things.

Check that each sentence makes sense.

Check a conjunction; an appropriate conjunction has been used, and check a variety of sentence types have been used.

And, once again, you're going to follow the same steps to peer edit successfully.

So, pause the video now and off you go peer editing each other's sentence structure.

Welcome back, everybody.

Did you use the edit checklist to edit your work? I'm just going to now show you an example of successful editing, and if you need to go back and make a few more edits after this, you'll be able to pause the video and do that.

So, I'll read the paragraph out loud and as I'm reading it, I want you to be checking the sentences make sense and if there's any missing words or any missing conjunctions, and if I've used different types of sentences.

"What is a healthy diet? A balanced diet includes a variety of food groups that provide different nutrients and this keeps strong and energetic.

It is important lots of protein because this helps grow and repair muscles.

In addition, scientists recommend eating whole grains, they release energy slowly to keep us fuller for longer.

Foods higher in sugar and trans fat can be enjoyed as part of a balanced diet, but they should be eaten in moderation." Okay, I can just tell that from saying my sentences out loud, there was a few that didn't make sense because of some missing words, so I've edited them in.

In the first sentence I'd forgotten the article "a," a variety of foods.

I'd also forgotten to include the verb in the next sentence.

It is important to eat lots of protein, not just it is important lots of protein.

So I can take that off my success criteria.

Have I used a conjunction to join two clauses? In the next sentence I'd forgotten a subordinating conjunction, so I added that in.

Scientists recommend eating whole grains, as they've released energy slowly.

So I can take that off my checklist.

And finally, have I used a variety of sentence types? I actually made my final sentence a simple sentence.

It was a compound, but I already had a compound so I changed my final sentence to a simple sentence.

So I can tick that off the checklist.

So, as I said, if you need to pause the video and make some more edits to your sentence structure, you can do that; otherwise, really well done.

It's time for our final section of our learning, where we are peer editing language.

When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

Editing word choices can have a significant impact on writing by improving clarity, so making things clearer, improving the tone and effectiveness.

When editing language, make sure you do all of these.

Check that language choices are ambitious to engage the reader, and choose language that matches the text type.

We've been writing a non-chronological report, so we want to be making sure our language is really formal.

So, checking for understanding: true or false.

When editing language, you change some of the words and phrases? Pause the video now.

That's right, that is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? (mouse clicks) A, when we edit language we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

B, when we edit language, we make changes to punctuation.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it is A; punctuation edits came earlier on when we were editing punctuation.

Well done.

So, let's check the language choices in this example.

"Whole brains are yummy and they release energy slowly.

How cool." So, have ambitious language choices been used to engage the reader? I think "yummy" is a bit descriptive, so I that with "nutritious" because that is a factual adjective, as Whole grains contain lots of nutrients.

(mouse clicks) I can take that off my success criteria, I've made an ambitious adjective choice.

Now, does the language match the text type? Non-chronological reports need to be really formal.

So, I've replaced "and" with "in addition," that formal fronted adverbial, and I got rid of "how cool" 'cause I didn't think that was very formal or factual, and I replaced it with "this helps us to stay fuller for longer." That's a much more formal and factual tone than "how cool." So then I can tick that off my success criteria.

So, checking for understanding.

Language in non-chronological reports is which of these: A funny, B descriptive, C factual or D formal? Pause the video now.

That's right, it's factual and formal, the language in a non-chronological report.

So, it's time for task C.

Now, you are going to peer edit the healthy diet section of your report, but this time looking only at language choices.

So, you need to check for ambitious language choices, particularly adjective choices, and check that your language matches the text type so it's formal language for our non-chronological report.

You need to follow the same steps to peer edit successfully, so making sure you're editing each other's work together.

So, pause the video now and off you go peer editing the language choices in your healthy diet section.

(mouse clicks) Welcome back, everybody.

Well done.

Did you use the edit checklist to edit your work? I'm going to now show you an example of some successful editing, and then you can go back and have another go at making further edits if you need to.

So, I'll read it out loud and then we can check if we've used ambitious language choices and language that matches the text type.

"What is a healthy diet? it's important to eat different foods so we are healthy.

Also, we need to eat lots of protein because it is good for our muscles.

In addition, I think we should be eating whole grains because they release energy slower, slowly slowly to keep us fuller for longer.

Foods high in sugar are yummy but not good for us." Okay, so let's look at the changes and edits I made to my language choices to make them more ambitious.

So my first sentence, instead of just saying, "Different foods so we are healthy," I said, "it's important to eat different foods that provide different nutrients to keep us strong and energetic," so some more factual adjectives and factual information.

And in the final sentence I replace "yummy" with "enjoyable," which is some more factual adjective.

So I can tick that off my checklist.

Now, I need to check if my language matches the text type.

"In addition, I think," I think is my own opinion, so it's not as appropriate for a non-chronological report.

So, I've replaced "I think" with "scientists recommend," that's then research basis, it's what scientists are saying so we should be trusting this.

And then in the final sentence, instead of saying, "but they are not good for us," I've added in a formal front of a verbal, "however," and some more formal language, "However, they should be eaten in moderation." So now I can tick that off my checklist.

So, as I said, if you need to pause the video and make some more edits to your language choices and all your partner's language choices, you can do that now.

Otherwise, really well done everybody.

Here is a summary of everything we've learned today.

Peer editing is the process of working collaboratively when making changes to improve writing.

The job of an editor is to check punctuation and to make improvements to sentence structure and language choices.

When editing punctuation, missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas are checked.

When editing sentence structure, changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow are made.

And when editing vocabulary, reviews of words and phrase choice are made to ensure appropriate tone is achieved.

Excellent job everybody.

Well done.

(mouse clicks).