Lesson video

Hi, everybody it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, "The BFG" Reading and Narrative Writing.

I'm really looking forward to today's lesson 'cause we are going to be doing some writing of the build-up.

For this lesson, you will need access to the 1989 film edition of "The BFG." So if you need to, you can pause the video now to make sure you have got this.

Great, hopefully you've got access to the film, which means we are ready to get started with today's lesson.

Off we go.

In today's lesson from my unit, "The BFG" Reading and Narrative Writing, we are going to be writing the first part of our build-up.

So your learning outcome is, I can write the first part of a build-up of a narrative based on "The BFG".

Here are your key words for the lesson.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first we'll be preparing to write, and in the second we'll be writing the build-up, part one.

So let's start with preparing to write.

"The BFG" can be structured like this, an opening, which we've already written, a build-up, a climax, and then the resolution.

In this lesson, we are writing the build-up, part one.

The purpose of a build-up is to do all of these, develop the plot and the characters, and build up that suspense and excitement.

So let's review the key moments of the build-up, part one.

Firstly, Sophie ducked down and she hid below the windowsill.

Then number two, the hooded figure started walking down the street.

Then number three, Sophie nervously peered through the window.

So checking for understanding.

Can you number these moments of the build-up, one, two, and three in chronological order? Pause the video now.

Okay, so number one, Sophie ducked down and she hid.

Number two, the hooded figure started walking down the street.

Number three, Sophie nervously peered through the window.

Well done.

So let's review the notes from the plan 'cause we really want to include all this ambitious vocabulary in our writing today.

Remember, our plan contains notes.

So these are not full sentences.

We can't just copy exactly off the plan onto our page, but we can definitely include some of this amazing vocabulary in our full sentences today.

So the first key moment was that Sophie hid behind the window.

Some fronted adverbials that we generated in the previous lesson were, instantly, as quick as a flash, in panic.

The ambitious vocabulary was that she crouched as low as she could.

She sharply ducked and she was in the dark, silent dormitory.

Then some show-not-tell language, her heart was racing.

She had shaking legs, she held her breath.

Then we described the moment the figure started walking down the street.

The fronted adverbials we used in our plan were, from outside the window, slowly, and in the dim, eerie street.

Then ambitious vocabulary, the towering, hooded figure, it edged closer and closer, had gargantuan feet, and it glided silently.

Then the final moment when Sophie peered through the window.

So fronted adverbials we included on our plan was, nervously, fronted adverbial of manner below the window with hesitation, some ambitious vocabulary she peaked cautiously.

Her mind was whirring with fear, whatever could it be, our rhetorical question? And then some show not tell language.

She was breathless.

She clenched her hands, she was biting her nails.

So we want to be thinking about how we can include this vocabulary in our writing today.

So this section, the build-up needs to include the following, ambitious vocabulary.

So precise adjectives, adverbs, and verbs.

A rhetorical question that helps to build suspense, sentences written in the past tense, fronted adverbials of time, place and manner.

Show not tell language.

And for text flow, a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex.

So in the build-up of "The BFG", suspense is built up As writers, we can create suspense in different ways.

So we can use show not tell language to show the emotions of the characters if they're scared.

We want to show that.

And that can make the reader or the watcher and the viewer feel more scared.

Rhetorical questions that hooks the reader in, makes them think, makes them more involved in the story.

And again, it can build suspense, exclamation marks, ellipses to make the reader think what's gonna happen next.

And short, snappy sentences, particularly repeating short, snappy sentences in a row can help to build suspense.

So all of these things we want to be thinking about, including today in our writing to help build suspense.

So we want to be thinking about how we can include some of these things in our writing today to help build suspense.

So checking for understanding which devices can writers use to build suspense.

A, full stops, B, ellipses, C, conjunctions, or D, short snappy sentences.

Pause the video now.

That's right.

We use ellipses or short, snappy sentences to help build suspense.

Well done.

So a rhetorical question invites the reader to think about what's happening in the story and makes them feel involved in it.

The writer does not expect the reader to answer rhetorical questions, but they do help the reader to engage with the story.

Rhetorical questions can also really effectively build that tension and suspense.

For example, whatever could that be? Who was that? Why was it moving towards her? So you can see there we, it's a way of engaging the reader, making them think, but also building that suspense.

So checking for understanding true or false, the reader is expected to answer a rhetorical question? Pause the video now That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, a rhetorical question helps the reader to become involved in the story by getting them to think about what's happening.

Or B, a rhetorical question helps the reader to become involved in the story, by asking them questions, they respond to.

Pause the video now.

That is A, we do not expect the reader to answer a rhetorical question.

Well done.

So a simple sentence is formed of one main clause about one idea.

One main clause is a simple sentence.

So for example, gradually the giant figure edged silently through the street.

This simple sentence also contains a fronted adverbial of manner to add extra detail to that main clause.

Then you have your main clause, the giant figure edged silently through the street.

It's a main clause because it makes sense by itself and it's about one idea.

It's important to use a range of sentence types to improve text flow and writing short, snappy, simple sentences in a row can be a really effective way of building suspense.

For example, the giant edged closer and closer, her heart began to pound whatever could it be? The final one is still a simple sentence, but this time it's a question.

But you can see here three simple sentences in a row, to build that suspense and to hook the reader in.

These two sentences are both main clause simple sentences.

Her hands clenched the windows.

Her heart raced.

However, we could join these two simple sentences with a co-ordinating conjunction to make a compound sentence, main clause, co-ordinating conjunction and or or but.

And another main clause, two main clauses can be turned into a compound sentence using a co-ordinating conjunction.

So let's have a look.

Let's look at two main clauses that are equally important.

Her hands clenched the windows, her heart raced.

These two ideas can be turned into one compound sentence with the co-ordinating conjunction and her hands clenched the windows, and her heart raced, an excellent compound sentence using the co-ordinating conjunction and to join the main clauses together.

However, we can try and be even more ambitious here, we could say frantically the terrified young girl clenched the windows and her heart raced wildly.

So we have another compound sentence, but this time we have a fronted adverbial of manner, frantically.

We have a expanded noun phrase to refer to the noun in a different way, the terrified young girl.

And we have a descriptive adverb to describe how her heart raced.

So just a more ambitious version of the compound sentence.

So it's time for task A.

You need to say the first two sentences of your build-up and make sure you include the following, ambitious vocabulary from your plan, fronted adverbial, and a rhetorical question.

You can use these sentence scaffolds to help you, as quick as a flash, and slowly, make sure you refer to your plan to help you with this as well.

So pause the video now and off you go saying your first two sentences will build up out loud.

Off you go.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to read aloud my sentences now, and as I'm reading them aloud, you can be listening and thinking, have I included ambitious vocabulary, a frontal adverbial and a rhetorical question.

As quick as a flash, the terrified girl ducked below the window and her heart raced wildly.

Slowly, the towering figure in a black cloak glided through the dim eerie streets, whatever could that be? So have I included ambitious vocabulary? I had terrified, wildly, towering, glided, dim and eerie.

So yes, did I include fronted adverbial? I did two, as quick as a flash and slowly, and did I include a rhetorical question? My final sentence was whatever could that be, a question there to hook the reader in, engage the reader, and also to build suspense.

It's really helpful to say our sentences out loud before we write them down.

So I hope that you've now got some ideas that you can be including in the next section of our lesson when are writing our build-up.

Well done everybody on task A.

It's now time for the second section of our lesson where we are writing part one of the build-up.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence type we know.

Write letters neatly on the line, in joined handwriting, use spelling strategies to spell words accurately and check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

Here is our success criteria we are going to use to help us with our writing today.

This clearly shows what we need to include in our build-up to make it a really successful piece of writing.

So let's go through it.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

We can definitely include fronted adverbials 'cause we have them on our plan.

I have used ambitious vocabulary including show not tell.

Again, we have this on our plan.

I have written a range of sentence types, simple compound, and complex to improve text flow.

And I have written a rhetorical question.

So there are three key moments on your plan to describe the first part of the build-up.

Firstly, Sophie ducked down and she hid, secondly, the hooded figure started walking down the street.

Thirdly, Sophie nervously peered through the window.

So we want to describe these three moments using lots of ambitious vocabulary to create this vivid picture for the reader.

So let's have a look at a model section.

I'm going to read it out loud, and as I'm reading, you can be checking to see if I've included everything I needed to for my success criteria.

Instantly, the terrified girl crouched as low as she could as her legs shook.

She held her breath and she hid in the dark silent dormitory.

In the eerie street, the towering figure glided towards her.

It edged closer and closer, nervously the girl peeked through the window as she clenched her hands on the windowsill her mind whirred with fear.

What was it doing? So have I included two fronted adverbials? I did three.

I had instantly, in the eerie street and nervously so I can give myself a tick.

Have I included ambitious vocabulary, including show not tell, I had terrified, crouched, dark, silent, eerie, towering, glided, all of those really and examples of really ambitious vocabulary.

And some show not tell.

Her legs shook and she clenched her hands and her mind whirred with fear.

So yes, I can give myself a tick.

Range of sentence types, my first sentence was a complex sentence.

I have the subordinate clause as her legs shook.

Then we have a compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction and, and she hid in the dark silent dormitory.

Then I have a simple sentence, it edged closer and closer, and then another complex sentence at the end.

You can see in green as she clenched her hands on the window sill.

So yes, a range of sentence types, I can give myself a tick.

And then finally a rhetorical question.

I ended this section on what was it doing, so I can give myself a take.

It's time for task B.

It's now your turn to write.

In a moment, you're going to pause the video and you'll indent the first sentence.

That means leave a space between the margin and the first word.

Then you'll use your success criteria and your plan to help you structure this paragraph.

So pause the video now and off you go writing part one of the build-up.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

In a moment, you're going to go back and read back through your build-up.

Then you're going to use your success criteria to help you check that you've included everything needed in this section.

So as you read back, if you can check if you've included at least two fronted adverbials, you can give yourself a tick.

If you've included ambitious vocabulary, including show not tell, you can give yourself a tick.

If you've written a simple compound, complex sentence, you can give yourself a tick.

And if you've written a rhetorical question, you can give yourself a tick.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Reading back through your build-up and ticking off your check, your success criteria as you go through it.

Off you go.

Well done everybody today.

You've all worked so hard.

Here is a summary of everything we've learned.

Using a range of simple compound and complex sentences improves text flow for the reader.

Saying sentences out loud before writing them helps when we come to write them, fronted adverbials of time, place or manner, add extra detail to the main clause.

Rhetorical questions engage the reader and make them feel more curious about the narrative and the purpose of the build-up is to build up suspense and excitement.

Great job today, everybody.

Well done.