Lesson video

Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, "The BFG": Reading and Narrative Writing.

I'm really excited for today's lesson 'cause we are gonna get started with writing the first part of our narrative version of the film.

For this lesson, you will need access to the 1989 version of the film, "The BFG." So if you need to, you can pause the video now to make sure you've got it.

You've got it ready.

Okay, great.

Hopefully we've all got access to the film, which means we are ready to get started with today's lesson.

Off we go.

In today's lesson from our unit, "The BFG": Reading and Narrative Writing, we are going to be using our plans to help us write the first part of our opening.

So your learning outcome is, I can write the first part of a narrative opening based on "The BFG." Let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Text flow, that is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

Past tense.

This shows that the action happened before now.

Complex sentence, that is a sentence formed of at least one main clause and a subordinate clause.

Fronted adverbial, that is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

So in today's lesson, there are two sections.

In the first, we'll be preparing to write, and in the second we'll be writing the opening.

So let's start with preparing to write.

"The BFG" can be structured like this, an opening, a buildup, a climax, and then the resolution.

In this lesson we are writing the opening part one.

The purpose of the opening is to do all of these, engage the reader, introduce the characters, and introduce the setting.

So let's just check for understanding.

The purpose of the opening is, A, to solve a problem.

B, to introduce the character's.

C, to build tension, or D, to introduce the setting.

Pause the video now.

So the purpose of the opening is to introduce the characters and D to introduce the setting.

Well done.

So let's just review the notes from the plan that we made in the previous lesson, because these plans are going to be really helpful in the second part of the lesson when it comes to writing our opening.

So the first key moment was that Sophie awoke and she sat up in bed.

The fronted adverbials that we could use from our plan to describe this moment were in the middle of the night, during the witching time one dark, thundery night so some fronted adverbials of time there.

And then ambitious vocabulary.

We could include the young orphan, the dazzling moonbeam, the raging thunder, and how she bolted upright.

Then the next key moment was that Sophie looked at the owl.

So some more fronted adverbials we could include, from outside the window, nervously, next to her bed.

And then ambitious vocabulary was the screeching owl, her thick, round glasses.

She stared with wide eyes, on the squeaking bed.

And then finally Sophie got out of bed.

So describing that in more detail, we could use fronted adverbials such as stealthily.

So as quietly and as carefully as possible, as quietly as possible.

And at the edge of her creaky bed.

Ambitious vocabulary, the tattered shoes that she put on, she slipped quietly into them.

The inquisitive child, we could call her because she wants to know more about what's going outside.

And then the adverb, curiously.

So these are not full sentences, what we've included on our plan.

This is note form.

And we are going to use these, this key vocabulary and this ambitious vocabulary in our writing today.

So this section needs to include the following ambitious vocabulary.

So that includes precise adjectives, adverbs, verbs.

References to the noun in different ways.

So instead of just calling Sophie, Sophie all the time, Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, that's a bit repetitive.

We could call her the young orphan, the sleepless girl.

We'll write our sentences in the past tense and fronted adverbials.

And then for text flow, we want to use a range of a simple compound and complex sentences.

So let's recap sentence types first.

A simple sentence is formed of one main clause about one idea.

This forms a simple sentence.

For example, in the middle of the night, a young orphan suddenly bolted upright.

This is a simple sentence, which starts with a fronted adverbial of time.

And then it has a main clause.

You don't need to have the fronted adverbial, a young orphan suddenly bolted upright, which still makes sense as a simple sentence.

But the fronted adverbial gives a bit of extra detail for the reader.

So checking for understanding.

True or false, a simple sentence is formed of two main clauses.

Pause the video now.

That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, a simple sentence is formed of one main clause.

It can include a fronted adverbial to add extra detail about the main clause.

Or B, a simple sentence is formed of one main clause only.

Pause the video now.

That's right, that is A, a simple sentence is formed of one main clause, but it can also include a fronted adverbial.

Well done.

So now let's think about some compound sentences.

A compound sentence is formed of at least two equally important main clauses joined together with a coordinating conjunction.

So you can see here we have our first main clause, a coordinating conjunction and, or, or but, and then another main clause.

Together, these form a compound sentence.

So let's look at two main clauses that are equally important.

She picked up her glasses, she stared at the owl.

These two ideas can be joined into one compound sentence with the coordinating conjunction "and." Let's have a look.

The orphan picked up her glasses and she stared at the owl.

And is our coordinating conjunction so this is a compound sentence made up of two main clauses that we could use in our writing today.

We could try to be a bit more ambitious with this compound sentence though.

Let's have a look.

Cautiously, the young, curious orphan picked up her glasses and she stared at a screeching owl.

So you can see here, this is a compound sentence again.

But this time we have a fronted adverbial of manner, cautiously, we have an expanded noun phrase, the young curious orphan to refer to the noun in a different way.

And we have a descriptive adjective with screeching.

So we've included lots of ambitious vocabulary from the plan here to make this a really ambitious compound sentence.

So just checking for understanding.

Which of the following is a compound sentence? A, the girl woke up because the thunder was raging wildly outside.

B, the girl woke up and she put on her glasses.

Or C, the girl suddenly woke up.

Pause the video now.

So the compound sentence was B, the girl woke up is your first main clause and is a coordinating conjunction.

She put on her glasses is the second main clause.

The first sentence A is a complex sentence, and C is a simple sentence.

Well done.

So now let's think about complex sentences.

A complex sentence is formed of a main clause stretched with a subordinate clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction.

So you can see here we have our main clause, a subordinating conjunction because, as, when, and then your subordinate clause.

These form together a complex sentence.

Let's have a look.

So let's look at a main clause and a subordinate clause.

She woke up is a main clause.

It makes sense by itself because a dazzling moonbeam was shining on her face, that's your subordinate clause.

It doesn't make sense by itself.

And it starts with because.

The first idea can be stretched with the second idea to make one complex sentence.

For example, the scared girl bolted upright because a dazzling moonbeam was shining on her face.

So here, instead of just calling her, she, we've said the scared girl.

So a more interesting way to refer to the noun.

Then you have your subordinated conjunction because, and then you have your descriptive adjective dazzling.

So this is a really ambitious, complex sentence.

So checking for understanding.

True or false, this is a complex sentence.

The girl put on her shoes quietly because she did not want to wake up the others.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, the subordinate adverbial clause starts with the subordinating conjunction because, and it is linked to the main clause.

Or B, a complex sentence contains two clauses.

Pause the video now.

That's right.

It is A, the girl put on her shoes quietly is your main clause because she did not want to wake up the others, it's the subordinate clause and it starts with the subordinating conjunction because.

Well done.

So it's time for task A.

You need to say the first two sentences of the opening.

It's really important to say our sentences out loud because then we can hear if they make sense.

Make sure you include the following, ambitious vocabulary from your plan.

A fronted adverbial and sentences in the past tense.

You can use these sentence scaffolds to help you.

Firstly, in the middle of the night and then nervously.

So pause the video now, have a go at saying these sentences out loud.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to say my sentences out loud and as I'm saying them, you can be checking that I've included ambitious vocabulary, a fronted adverbial, and past tense sentences.

In the middle of the night, a young girl woke up in her silent, dim dormitory because dazzling moonlight was shining on her face.

Nervously, she picked up her glasses and she stared at a screeching owl.

So have I included ambitious vocabulary from my plan? I did.

I had silent and dim, dazzling and nervously.

Have I included fronted adverbial? I have, included two, in the middle of the night and nervously, both of them followed by a comma.

And were my sentences in the past tense? Let's check the verbs to help us with this.

Woke up, was shining, picked up, stared.

These are all past tense verbs.

So yes, I did.

Thank you for helping me check these over.

And if you want to, you can pause the video now and have another go at saying these sentences out loud.

Otherwise, really well done.

It is time for the second section of the lesson where we are writing the opening.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence type that we know.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

And use spelling strategies to spell words accurately and check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

So here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Let's go through it because this is really important as it will help us to know what we need to include to make our opening a really successful piece of writing.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

I have used ambitious vocabulary.

I have written a range of sentence types, simple, compound, complex to improve text flow.

And I have written in the past tense.

So there are three key moments on your plan to describe in the first part of the opening.

Firstly, Sophie awoke and she sat up in bed.

Sophie stared at the owl and Sophie got out of bed.

So we want to describe these three moments in more detail using the ambitious vocabulary from our plan to create that really vivid picture in the reader's mind.

So I'm going to write the first few sentences of my opening and you can help me check that I've used the success criteria to help to make sure I'm including everything that I need to.

So you can see I've started by neatly sticking in my success criteria.

And I have my plan next to me, which I'm going to keep referring to 'cause I know it's got lots of ambitious vocabulary that I want to include.

I've started by writing my first fronted adverbial of time.

One dark, thundery night.

Just going to check I've got the correct commas.

I do.

I have my comma in between my two adjectives in my expanded noun phrase.

And I have a comma at the end of my fronted adverbial.

So I'm ready to carry on.

So one dark, thundery night.

What happened? We're going to describe the first key moment when Sophie awoke and she sat up in bed.

I'm going to use some ambitious vocabulary from my plan.

I'm going to call her a young orphan.

A young orphan, making sure I'm making the spelling, the ph sound with p and h, a young orphan.

Let's say, use bolted upright.

I like the verb choice bolted because it was so sudden.

Bolted upright.

Now I could finish there, but we know we want a range of sentence types.

I want to use a complex sentence.

So I'm going to use the subordinating conjunction because, because why did she wake up so suddenly? We could say it was because of the raging thunder or because of the dazzling moonbeam or both.

I'm going to go for the dazzling moonbeam 'cause I want to use the verb choice dazzle.

The adjective choice, sorry, dazzling.

Because the dazzling moonbeam is shining on her face.

Okay, that's the end of my sentence.

How do we finish the sentence? What does every sentence needs? It needs a full stop.

Well done.

Now let's read it back to check it makes sense.

One dark comma thundery night comma, remembered my commas.

A young orphan bolted upright because dazzling moonbeam is shining on her face.

I wonder if you could hear that mistake.

What tense are we writing in? Let's just check our success criteria.

We're writing in the past tense.

So it's not is shining, it's was shining.

Well done.

Okay, now let's carry on.

We're going to describe the next moment how Sophie looked out, looked at the owl.

Where was the owl? It was outside, wasn't it? So I'm going to use the fronted adverbial of place from outside the window.

Now this is my fronted adverbial.

So what do we need at the end of a fronted adverbial? Everybody, we need a comma.

Well done.

From outside the window, an owl.

What was happening? An owl was screeching.

And I've taken the word screeching from my plan.

I want to just use a simple sentence here 'cause we know we want to use a range of sentence types.

So I'm going to finish the sentence so I need a full stop.

Well done.

Okay, let's now describe how she picked up her glasses.

Now we've not introduced her name yet, so I want to call her by her name, which is Sophie.

It's the first word of my sentence.

But also Sophie is a proper noun.

It's the name of the girl.

So it definitely needs to have a capital letter.

Sophie, what did she do? She picked up her thick, round glasses.

And now I want to use a compound sentence.

So I'm going to use the coordinating conjunction and.

And what did she do? She stared.

I'm gonna say she stared nervously.

At what? At the owl.

Now we could say at the owl, but we've already used owl just in the sentence before.

So let's refer to it in a different way.

I'm going to call it the creature.

Now that's the end of my sentence so we need a full stop.

Let's just read it back to check it makes sense and then for any errors.

Sophie picked up her thick, round glasses or thick, round glasses.

And it's an expanded noun phrase, isn't it? So what do I need in between my two adjectives? We need a comma.

Exactly, well done.

And she stared nervously at the creature.

Okay, finally, we want to do, describe the final moment how she put on her shoes.

So I want to use the fronted adverbial stealthily.

So quietly and carefully, that means stealthily.

Now that's the fronted adverbial of manner.

So it needs a comma.

Well done.

Sophie, we could say she but we've used she already, let's call her the inquisitive child 'cause she's curious.

Inquisitive.

Again, I used that, found that on my plan.

The inquisitive child.

What did she do? She slipped on her shoes.

Although I want to choose some adjectives to describe the shoes, on our plan we have tattered, which means old, a bit worn out So I'm going to use that.

Her tattered shoes.

And then I'm going to finish the sentence there.

So what do I need at the end of my sentence? We need a full stop.

Let's just read it back to check it makes sense.

Stealthily, the inquisitive child slipped on her tattered shoes.

I'm going to finish it there.

I'm going to go through my success criteria.

Have I written at least two fronted adverbials? I have one dark, thundery night, from outside the window and stealthily so I can give myself a tick.

Have I used ambitious vocabulary? I have thundery, dazzling, screeching, nervously, stealthily inquisitive, tattered so yes.

Range of sentence types.

My first sentence is a complex sentence.

Then I have a simple sentence and then I have a compound sentence so yes.

Have I written in the past tense? Let's look at the verbs.

Bolted, was shining, was screeching, picked, stared, slipped.

All past tense verbs so I can give myself a tick.

Thank you for helping me check this through and helping me with writing my opening.

Now you are going to have a chance at writing the opening as well.

Okay, it's time for task B.

It's your turn to write the opening part one.

In a moment you're going to pause the video and you'll indent the first sentence.

So that means leaving a space between the margin and your first word.

Then you'll use your success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraph.

So pause the video now and off you go writing part one of the opening of "The BFG." Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

In a moment, you're gonna pause the video and read your writing back to check it makes sense and for any errors, and that's totally fine if you've made some mistakes, that's what checking is for.

Then you'll tick the success criteria as you find an example of each part of the success criteria just like this.

So I'm going to read aloud my part one of the opening, and then I'm going to go through the success criteria to check I've included everything I needed to.

One thundery night, a young orphan bolted upright because thunder was raging loudly outside.

Sophie picked up her round glasses and she stared nervously at a screeching owl.

As quietly as possible, she sat on the edge of her creaky bed.

The inquisitive girls stealthily slipped on her tattered old shoes.

So have I included two fronted adverbials? I have.

I had one thundery night and as quietly as possible so I can give myself a tick.

Have I used ambitious vocabulary? I did.

I described the night as thundery, said it was raging, nervously, screeching, inquisitive, stealthily, tattered, really ambitious all from my plan.

So I can give myself a tick.

A range of sentence types.

My first sentence, because thunder was raging loudly outside.

That's a subordinate clause.

So a complex sentence.

Then I had a compound sentence and she stared nervously at a screeching owl.

And then my final sentence is a simple sentence so I can give myself a tick.

And then have I written in the past tense? Let's just check the verbs.

Bolted, was raging, picked.

She stared, sat, slipped.

All of these are past tense verbs so I can give myself a tick.

So now pause the video and off you go back reading through your opening and ticking off your success criteria.

Off you go.

Well done everybody today.

You've worked so hard.

Here is the summary of everything we've learned.

The purpose of the opening is to engage the reader and to introduce the settings and characters.

Using a range of simple compound and complex sentences improves text flow for the reader.

Saying sentences out loud before writing them helps when we come to write them.

Fronted adverbials of time, place or manner add extra detail to the main clause.

And this narrative version of "The BFG" is written in the past tense.

Great job today everybody.

Well done.