Lesson video

Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, "'The BFG': reading and narrative writing".

Thank you so much for joining me on today's lesson.

You've worked so hard in this unit and I hope you're enjoying writing about "The BFG" as much as I am.

In this lesson, you will need access to the 1989 film version of "The BFG".

So if you need to, you can pause the video now to make sure you have it.

Great, hopefully we've all got access to the film, which means we are ready to get started with today's lesson.

Off we go.

In today's lesson from our unit, "'The BFG': reading and narrative writing", we're going to be using our plan from the previous lesson to help us write our part two of our opening.

So the learning outcome is, "I can write the second part of a narrative opening based on 'The BFG'." Let's start by looking at the keywords.

We're going to do my turn, your turn.

Text flow: that's how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

Past tense: that shows that the action happened before now.

Complex sentence: that is a sentence formed of at least one main clause and a subordinate clause.

Fronted adverbial: that is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first we'll be preparing to write, and then the second will be writing the opening part two.

So let's start with preparing to write.

"The BFG" can be structured like this: an opening, a buildup, a climax, and then the resolution.

In this lesson, we are writing the opening part two.

The purpose of the opening is to do all of these: Engage the reader, hook them in, make them want to carry on reading or watching.

Introduce the characters and introduce the setting.

So check in for understanding.

The purpose of the opening is.

A, to solve a problem.

B, to introduce the characters, C, to build-up tension or D, to introduce the setting? Pause the video now.

That's right, it's to B, introduce the characters and D, to introduce the setting.

Well done.

So let's review the notes from the plan because it's really important that we're including some of this as much of this vocabulary in our writing today.

Remember, the notes in our plan are notes.

They're not full sentences.

So we'll need to be thinking about using this vocabulary, but making it part full sentences.

So for the first key moment, Sophie walked to the window and Mrs. Clonkers shouted.

So some fronted adverbials that we included were; moments later, soon after, suddenly.

Ambitious vocabulary.

We called her this curious orphan.

She tiptoed stealthily, along the creaking floorboards.

That's what you could hear.

And then Mrs. Clonkers from outside bellowed furiously.

Show-not-tell language to describe Sophie's emotions.

She froze in fear.

She trembled like a leaf.

Her heart pounded.

Then the next key moment, Sophie looked out the window.

So fronted adverbial bravely, slowly, cautiously.

Those were fronted adverbials of manner.

Ambitious vocabulary.

She hesitantly opened the dusty old curtains.

She cautiously lifted the window.

She anxiously peered out the window.

Some show-not-tell language.

There she clenched her fists because she's nervous.

She gulped in fear and she had sweaty palms. Finally, she saw the mysterious figure, the final key moment.

So some fronted adverbials, from the corner of her eye, frantically in the dim street.

Ambitious vocabulary we could say she glimpses the figure.

She tore open the curtains.

She saw a towering silhouette, really tall silhouette or a colossal figure.

Colossal meets enormous.

She's terrified, isn't she then? So some show-not-tell language, we could say she shrieked in horror.

Sophie's eyes widened or her jaw dropped.

So all of these amazing, all of this amazing vocabulary we want to think about including in our writing today.

So this section needs to include the following: ambitious vocabulary.

So precise adjectives, a adverbs and verbs, references to the noun in different ways.

We don't want to keep calling her Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, but we could call her the curious girl, the terrified orphan.

Sentences written in the past tense.

Fronted adverbials, time, place, and manner.

Show-not-tell language, and then text flow.

We want to have a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex.

Let's just remind ourselves about what it means to write in the past tense.

Writing in the past tense means that the verbs used will describe actions that have already happened.

So these verbs are all happening now.

They're in the present tense; catches, edges, creeps.

But we want to in our writing today, write them in the past tense.

So caught, edged, crept.

These were verbs are all written in the past tense.

Caught and crept are in the irregular past tense.

So that's something we need to be thinking extra carefully about.

What is the verb in the past tense form? So checking for understanding.

Which of these is a past tense verb? A, gasps B, gasping or C gasped.

Pause the video now.

That is gasped.

The suffix -ed indicates that it's the past tense verb.

Well done.

So let's recap some sentence types.

These two sentences are both main clause simple sentences.

The curious girl opened the tattered curtains and she peered out the window.

However, instead of being two simple sentences, we can make them one compound sentence like this; one main clause, a coordinating conjunction and, or, or but, and then another main clause, and they'll join together to form a compound sentence.

So it lets us practise saying a compound sentence out loud.

Say the first main clause, then use and to join it to a second main clause like this; the curious girl opened the tattered curtains and she peered out the window.

Okay, it's your turn to say a compound sentence.

You need to say the first main clause, then use and to join it to a second main clause.

Here is your first main clause.

The curious girl opened the old dusty curtains and.

Pause the video now and finish saying this compound sentence out loud.

Okay, let's say it together.

The curious girl opened the old dusty curtains and she peered nervously out of the window.

Well done.

So just checking for understanding.

Which of the following is a compound sentence? A, Sophie crept towards the window as a bright light switched on in the hallway.

B, Sophie crept towards the window and a bright light switched on in the hallway.

Or C, Sophie crept towards the window.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it's B.

Sophie crept towards the window is your first main clause and is a coordinating conjunction.

A bright light switched on the hallway is your second main clause.

Well done.

So now let's think about complex sentences.

A complex sentence is formed of a main clause stretched with an adverbial subordinate clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction.

So it'll look like this; a main clause, a subordinating conjunction, because, as, when, and then a subordinate adverbial clause, these all joined together to form a complex sentence.

So let's look at a main clause and a subordinate clause.

She crept across the floorboards.

That's your main clause.

It makes sense by itself.

As Mrs. Clonkers bellowed furiously.

That's your subordinate clause.

It doesn't make sense by itself, and it starts with the subordinating conjunction 'as'.

You can use the subordinating conjunction 'as' to show that two actions are happening at the same time.

For example, she crept across the floorboards as Mrs. Clonkers bellowed furiously.

As is your subordinating conjunction there which joins the two clauses together.

However, you could be a bit more ambitious with this complex sentence.

For example, stealthily, the brave orphan crept across the floorboards as Ms. Clonkers bellowed furiously from the quiet way.

So in this complex sentence, we have a fronted adverbial of manner.

We've referred to the noun in a different way, and we've values a stretched clause.

We've given extra information in that second adverbial subordinate clause.

Both of these though, are great complex sentences we can be thinking about using in our writing today.

So the need for a comma in a complex sentence depends on the position of the clauses.

If the main clause comes first in a complex sentence, a comma is not placed after it.

The second idea stretches the first idea.

So for example, Sophie edged towards the window.

That's your main clause.

You don't need a comma after the main clause.

When a bright light switched on.

That's your adverbial clause coming second, and then you have a full stop, which completes the sentence.

So no comma is after the main clause when it comes first.

However, if the subordinate clause comes first in a complex sentence, a comma is placed after it.

The comma separates the adverbial clause from the main clause.

For example, when she was edging towards the window, your subordinate clause is first, comma comes after the subordinate clause.

Mrs. Clonkers shouted furiously.

Your main clause is second, and then you have a full stop at the end.

So we need to be thinking about our common rule when we are writing complex sentences in our writing today.

Checking for understanding.

True or false? This is a complex sentence: "As she inched towards the window, a bright light switched on in the hallway." Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, the subordinate clause starts with the subordinating conjunction 'as', and it's linked to the main clause.

Or B, a complex sentence contains two clauses? Pause the video now.

That's right, it's A.

As she inched towards the window is your subordinate clause.

A bright light switched on in the hallway is your main clause.

Well done.

So it's time for task A.

You need to say the first two sentences of part two of the opening.

Make sure you include the following: ambitious vocabulary from your plan, fronted adverbial, and sentences in the past tense.

You can use these sentence scaffolds to help you: Moments later and suddenly.

So pause video now and using your plan to help you, off you go, saying your first two sentences.

Well done everybody, great job.

I'm going to say aloud my sentences, and as I'm reading them aloud, you can be checking if I've included those three bullet points.

"Moments later, the curious orphan tiptoed stealthily across the creaking floorboards.

Suddenly a bright light switched on in the quiet hallway and Mrs. Clonkers bellowed furiously." So have I included ambitious vocabulary from my plan? I did.

I had curious tiptoed, stealthily, creaking, bright, bellowed, furiously.

Have I included fronted adverbial? I included two: moments later and suddenly both followed by a comma.

Have I included sentences in the past tense? Let's have a look at our verbs to help us.

Tiptoed, switched and bellowed.

So yes, I have.

Thank you for helping me check these, and we want to be thinking about trying to include these sentences in our writing in the next session of our lesson.

Really well done with task A.

It's time for the second section of our lesson where we are writing the opening.

When we write, we always try to do these things: Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence type we know.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Use spelling strategies to spell words accurately, and check and improve our writing when we think we're finished.

So here is the success criteria for your writing today.

We're going to use this to help us make sure we're including everything that we need to.

Let's get through it.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

I've used ambitious vocabulary including show-not-tell.

I've written a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex to improve text flow.

And I have written in the past tense.

So there are three key moments on your plan to describe in detail in the second part of your opening.

Firstly, Sophie walked towards the window and Mrs. Clonkers shouted.

Then Sophie looked out the window, and then Sophie saw the mysterious figure.

So we're going to be describing these all in a lot more detail using the ambitious vocabulary from our plan.

So let's have a look at a model section.

I'm going to read it out loud, and as I'm reading, you can be looking to check what I've included, what I need to do for my success criteria.

"Moments later, the curious Orphan edged out of bed.

As she was tiptoeing across the creaking floorboards, Mrs. Clonkers bellowed furiously.

Sophie froze in fear.

Bravely, she continued towards the window and she hesitantly opened the dusty curtains.

She was peering through the glass when she gulped in fear.

From the corner of her eye, she glimpsed a towering mysterious silhouette.

Sophie's jaw dropped and she shrieked in horror." So have I included two fronted adverbials? I had moments later, bravely and from the corner of her eye.

So I give myself a tick.

Have I included ambitious vocabulary, including show-not-tell, curious, creaking, bellowed.

Sophie froze in fear.

Some show-not-tell, hesitantly, gulped in fear.

Sophie's jaw dropped, she shrieked in horror.

All of those show-not-tell.

And then describing the silhouette, towering, mysterious? So yes, lots of ambitious vocabulary.

So I can give myself a tick.

Have included a range of sentence types? And you can see the second sentence is in green.

"As she was tiptoeing across the creaking floorboards." It's a subordinate clause in my complex sentence.

Then a simple sentence, "Sophie froze in fear," and my simple sentence, short snappy there for dramatic effect.

And it finally, my final sentence is a compound sentence.

Sophie's jaw dropped and she shrieked in horror.

So I can give myself a tick.

Have I written in the past tense? Let's check the verbs.

Was tiptoeing, bellowed, froze, continued, opened, was peering, gulped, glimpsed, shrugged, dropped, and shrieked.

All of these are past tense verbs.

So yes, I can give myself a tick.

So it's time for task B, and it's your turn to write part two of the opening.

In a moment, you'll need to pause the video and you'll need to remember to indent the first sentence.

That means leaving a space between the margin and your first word.

Then you'll use your success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraph.

So pause the video now and off you go writing part two of the opening.

Well done everybody.

I hope you enjoyed that.

In a moment, you'll going to need to read back part two of your opening, and then you'll need to use your success criteria to help you check that you have included everything you needed in this section.

So if you're reading back through your writing, and you can find at least two fronted adverbials, you can give yourself a tick.

If you can find ambitious vocabulary, including show-not-tell language, you can give yourself a tick.

If you've written a simple compound and a complex sentence, you can give yourself a tick.

And if you've written in the past tense, you can also give yourself a tick.

So pause video now and off you go, reading back through part two of your opening and ticking off the success criteria as you go.

Well done everybody.

Great job today.

Here is a summary of everything we've learned.

The purpose of the opening is to engage the reader and to introduce the settings and characters.

Using a range of simple, compound and complex sentences improves text flow for the reader.

Saying sentences out loud before writing them helps when we come to write them.

'Show-not-tell' language shows a character's feelings by describing their actions, body language, and facial expressions.

This narrative version of BFG is written in the past tense.

Well done today, great job.