Hi, everyone.

My name is Ms. Voyle, and welcome to today's lesson where you are going to be writing part two of the buildup of "The Firework-Maker's Daughter." This lesson is based on the 2018 Penguin Random House UK edition of "The Firework-Maker's Daughter" by Philip Pullman, and you may wish to refer to it.

Pause the video and get your copy of the book now.

Great.

Now I know you have the book with you.

During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to, and you will also need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for writing.

I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is, "I can write a well-structured paragraph for part two of the buildup." Here are our keywords for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

Text flow.

Adverbial complex sentences.

Rhetorical question.

Great job.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

Text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

An adverbial complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and an adverbial subordinate clause.

A rhetorical question is a question asked to the reader that does not expect an answer.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, you will be preparing to write, and in the second part you will be writing part two of the buildup.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

"The Firework-Maker's Daughter" can be structured like this.

Opening.

Buildup.

Climax.

Resolution.

In this lesson, we are writing the buildup.

The purpose of the buildup is to move the story forward and describe the main character's journey.

The buildup in Chapter Four builds suspense around whether Lila will overcome challenges to reach her destination.

Your narrative buildup needs to include the following linguistic features.

Precise and ambitious vocabulary.

Including adjectives, adverbs, and verbs.

You developed these in your planning.

"Show and tell" to describe Lila's emotions.

This involves sensory details, actions, and thoughts that Lila was having.

A range of sentence types to improve text flow.

Simple, compound, and complex sentences.

And rhetorical questions to engage the reader.

Linguistic features are types of words and language that a writer chooses carefully.

By incorporating these linguistic features in your writing, you will be able to produce a fantastic buildup for your narrative.

We can use the notes from our plan to form full sentences.

These notes contain precise and descriptive vocabulary that show and tell the reader what happens on Lila's journey and how she is feeling.

Here is an example of some of the notes from the plan.

The key moment is, "Lila continued to climb higher, braving the heat." Examples of ambitious adjectives we could use here.

"Never ending climb, exhausted body, scorching heat." Precise verbs and adverbs could be "slowly pulled, braved the conditions, trudged along." Using a range of sentences in our writing helps with text flow.

Let's now take a look at an example of some sentences we could form using these notes from the plan.

"Lila gathered her inner strength, "and she slowly pulled herself back up again.

"Step by step, she continued on her never ending climb.

Sweat dripped down her exhausted body as she braved the scorching heat." You will see that my writing has incorporated the precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan, and I have used that to form a variety of sentences.

Let's check your understanding.

True or false.

When I write the buildup, I can just copy out my plan.

Pause the video and select your answer.

That is false, well done.

Now it's time to justify your answer.

A, I should use the notes in my plan to form a range of sentences, or B, I should reorder the events from my plan.

Pause the video and select the correct justification.

The answer is A, you should use the notes from your plan to form a range of sentence types.

Well done.

You should make sure you do not reorder the events.

Following the chronology of your plan is important for a narrative.

Let's look at the different sentence types formed from the plan for the first key moment.

I will read these sentences to you again.

"Lila gathered her inner strength, "and she slowly pulled herself back up again.

"Step by step, she continued on her never ending climb.

"Sweat dripped down her exhausted body as she braved the scorching heat." In the first sentence, the coordinating conjunction "and" has been used to form a compound sentence.

The first main clause is, "Lila gathered her inner strength," and then the second main clause, "She slowly pulled herself back up again." The second sentence is a good example of a simple sentence because it contains one main clause.

It does have a fronted adverbial at the beginning of the sentence, "step by step." And the final sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

The subordinating conjunction "as" has been used to begin an adverbial clause.

The main clause is "sweat dripped down her exhausted body," and the adverbial clause is, "as she braved the scorching heat." Let's look at the rules for simple and compound sentences.

A sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea is called a simple sentence.

The example of a simple sentence was, "Step by step, she continued on her never ending climb." This has one main clause.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction.

The example of a compound sentence was, "Lila gathered her inner strength, and she slowly pulled herself back up again." This contains a main clause, a coordinating conjunction, and then another main clause.

Let's now look at the rule for an adverbial complex sentence.

An adverbial complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and an adverbial subordinate clause.

The example of that was, "Sweat dripped down her exhausted body as she braved the scorching heat." Here we have a main clause followed by the adverbial subordinates clause.

But it is also possible to begin your adverbial complex sentence with a subordinate clause, follow that with a comma, and then have your main clause.

A range of subordinating conjunctions can be used to begin an adverbial clause.

Some examples are "when," "because," "as." These subordinating conjunctions will be really useful for you when forming adverbial complex sentences today.

Let's check your understanding.

Match the sentence type to the example given.

The sentence types are, A, simple sentence, B, compound sentence, and C, adverbial complex sentence.

The sentence examples are, "As the dust settled, "she saw an opening in the side of the mountain.

"Bravely, Lila continued to climb in the blistering heat." And, "Her throat became drier and she fell to the ground." Pause the video and match these now.

Let's take a look at the answers.

The simple sentence is, "Bravely, Lila continued to climb in the blistering heat." This contains one main clause, but you may have noticed that a fronted adverbial of manner has been used at the beginning to describe how Lila was climbing, "bravely." The compound sentence is, "Her throat became drier and she fell to the ground." Here the coordinating conjunction "and" has been used to join two main clauses.

And the adverbial complex sentence is, "As the dust settled, she saw an opening in the side of the mountain." Here the adverbial clause comes at the beginning of the sentence, "as the dust settled." And a comma has come after it to separate it from the main clause.

Well done for showing a great understanding of the different sentence types.

A rhetorical question is a question asked to the reader that does not expect an answer.

Rhetorical questions can be used as a narrative device to engage the reader.

They invite the reader to think about what's happening in the story, and this makes them feel involved in it.

Rhetorical questions can help in creating suspense in the buildup around what may or may not happen.

A rhetorical question should be linked to the key moment it is posing a question about.

So, if we were going to create a rhetorical question about this key moment, "Lila kept sliding backwards.

"She didn't know if she could survive the pain," we might say, "Would she ever reach the end?" This is a good rhetorical question for this key moment, because she keeps sliding backwards, which really undoes the progress she's making, and she doesn't know if she can survive the pain.

So we're asking, "Will she ever reach the end, her final destination?" Let's check your understanding.

Match the key moments to an appropriate rhetorical question.

The key moments are, A, Lila continued to climb higher, braving the heat.

B, She didn't know if she could survive the pain.

C, The entrance to the grotto was revealed.

And the rhetorical questions are, "Had she really made it? Could she even survive this pain?" And, "Wasn't she used to heat anyway?" Pause the video and match these correctly now.

Let's take a look at the answers.

For A, "Lila continued to climb higher, braving the heat," an appropriate rhetorical question could be, "Wasn't she used to heat anyway?" For B, "She didn't know if she could survive the pain." A good rhetorical question would be, "Could she even survive this pain?" And for C, "The entrance to the grotto was revealed." An appropriate rhetorical question would be, "Had she really made it?" Well done for showing a great understanding of rhetorical questions.

It's now time for a task, and it is a talk task where you are going to orally rehearse the writing for your buildup.

Say the first few sentences of the buildup.

Make sure you include the following.

Precise and ambitious vocabulary, including "show and tell." You can use your plan to support you with this.

A range of sentence types, including an adverbial complex sentence.

And a rhetorical question to engage the reader.

Your starting sentences could be, "Lila gathered her inner strength, and she--" This will help you form a compound sentence.

And, "As she--" comma.

This will help you form an adverbial complex sentence, where the adverbial clause is at the beginning, followed by the main clause.

Pause the video and do the task now.

I loved listening to your oral rehearsal.

You did such a fantastic job at including all of the appropriate linguistic features.

Let's take a look at an example now.

"Lila gathered her inner strength, "and she continued on her ascent "of the scorching mountain.

"After all, wasn't she used to fire anyway? "Step by step, she dragged herself up.

"She gasped for air as she struggled to breathe in the suffocating heat." The first sentence uses the coordinating conjunction "and" to form a compound sentence.

The second sentence is a great example of a rhetorical question, "Wasn't she used to fire anyway?" The next sentence is a good example of a simple sentence.

It also has a fronted adverbial, "step by step." The last sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence, where the adverbial clause follows the main clause.

And I really love the use of the adjective "suffocating" to describe the heat.

Well done for orally rehearsing the writing for your buildup.

I'm sure you're feeling really ready to get writing.

It's now time for the most exciting part of the lesson where you are going to be writing part two of the buildup.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately.

Read our sentences out loud to check they make sense, and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Let's read over it together.

I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan, including "show and tell," to describe Lila's emotions.

I have written a range of sentence types and included at least one adverbial complex sentence.

I have written at least one rhetorical question to engage the reader.

You will also use the notes from your plan for writing today.

They look like this.

Pause the video and make sure you have your plan with you.

Great.

Now I know you have your plan with you, which will support you with your writing.

I am now going to share with you a model of the first few sentences of part two of the buildup, and then I'm going to need your help checking that I have met the success criteria.

"Lila summoned all the strength she had, "and she dragged herself back up." "Step by step, she climbed higher.

"Sweat dripped down her exhausted body "as she braved the scorching heat.

"She refused to give up.

After all, wasn't she used to the heat anyway?" I would like you to pause the video now and check this writing against the success criteria and see if you can spot where I have met each point.

You were so great at spotting how I had met the success criteria and included the necessary linguistic features.

Let's check these off together.

For I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan, including "show and tell" to describe Lila's emotions.

The first sentence has two examples of really precise and ambitious verbs, summoned and dragged, and both of these verbs are also an example of "show and tell." If Lila needed to summon her strength and drag herself back up, this lets the reader know that she was feeling really exhausted and really weathered by the journey and that she really had to try hard to continue.

So we can tick that first box on the success criteria.

For I have written a range of sentence types and included at least one adverbial complex sentence.

The first sentence is an example of a compound sentence using the coordinating conjunction, "and." The next sentence is a simple sentence, "Step by step, she climbed higher." Then the third sentence is a really good example of an adverbial complex sentence.

"Sweat dripped down her exhausted body" is the main clause.

And then the subordinating conjunction "as" has been used to begin an adverbial clause, "as she braved the scorching heat." So we can check that box.

And for I have written at least one rhetorical question to engage the reader.

The very last sentence says, "After all, wasn't she used to the heat anyway?" So we can tick that box.

It's now time for your writing task.

Use your plan and the success criteria to write part two of the buildup.

Make sure you incorporate the precise and ambitious vocabulary from your plan and refer back to the success criteria.

For forming an adverbial complex sentence, remember that the adverbial subordinate clause can come first or second, but if it comes first, it must be separated from the main clause with a comma.

Pause the video and do the task now.

I am so impressed with your hard work and concentration on your narrative writing.

It's now time for you to read your writing back to check it makes sense and edit any punctuation errors.

Then tick each box in the success criteria when you are sure your writing has met it.

Pause the video and do this now.

Well done for reflecting on your writing.

I am sure you did a fantastic job at meeting the success criteria.

Let's take a look at a good example of part two of the buildup together.

"Lila reached deep within to gather her strength, "and she slowly pulled herself back up again.

"Step by step, she climbed higher.

"Sweat dripped down her exhausted body "as she braved the scorching heat.

"For every step she took, she slid backwards again.

"Would she ever reach the end? "Her throat became drier and she fell to the ground.

"She could barely breathe in the suffocating air.

"Could she even survive this pain? "Suddenly, a huge rock began to roll towards her.

"Just as Lila thought the worst, "the rock narrowly missed her "and a wave of relief washed over her.

"Then, as the dust settled, she saw an opening.

"It couldn't be, could it? "She had actually made it.

She surged towards the entrance of the Grotto." Let's check this against the success criteria.

For I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary.

We can spot lots of the ambitious vocabulary from our plan.

There are precise verbs like "dripped" to describe her sweat, and "slid backwards." "The relief washed over her." "She surged towards the entrance." And there are also really ambitious adjectives to describe nouns.

Exhausted body, scorching heat, suffocating air.

So we can tick that.

For I have included a range of sentence types, including at least one adverbial complex sentence.

We can see a variety of simple, compound and complex sentences in this piece of writing.

An example of an adverbial complex sentence is, "Sweat dripped down her exhausted body as she braved the scorching heat." Here, the subordinating conjunction "as" has been used to begin the adverbial subordinate clause.

So we can tick that.

And for I have written at least one rhetorical question.

We can spot a few rhetorical questions here.

"Would she ever reach the end?" "Could she even survive this pain?" "It couldn't be, could it?" You'll notice that the rhetorical questions here represent each key moment we have written about in part two of the buildup for Lila.

So we can tick that final box on our success criteria.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

The purpose of a buildup is to move the main character's journey forward and build tension.

Precise and ambitious vocabulary shows and tells the reader what happened on her journey and how she was feeling.

Using a range of sentence types, simple, compound and complex, improves text flow for the reader.

An adverbial clause is joined with a main clause to form an adverbial complex sentence.

And rhetorical questions can be used as a narrative device to engage the reader.

Well done again for all of your hard work writing the buildup of "The Firework-Maker's Daughter".

I have really enjoyed teaching you.