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Hi everyone, my name is Ms. Royalle, and welcome to today's lesson where you are going to be writing the climax of your narrative based on The Ironman.
You have already written a plan for the climax and it is important that you use this to support you when writing today, pause the video and make sure you have your plan with you now.
Great, now I know you have your plan with you.
During this lesson you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.
There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to and you will also need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for doing your writing.
I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn.
Let's get started.
The learning outcome for today's lesson is, I can write the climax of 'The Iron Man.
' Here are the key words for today's lesson, let's practise saying them.
My turn, your turn.
Climax, suspense, direct speech, reporting clause, inverted commas.
Great job, well done.
Let's take a look at their definitions.
The climax is the point in the narrative that describes the main action and takes the suspense to its highest point.
Suspense is when you are feeling anxious or excited about what may happen.
Direct speech is the term used for a character speaking out loud in a text.
A reporting clause is a clause that tells the reader who said the speech and how and inverted commas are punctuation marks used to indicate the beginning and end of direct speech.
There are two parts to today's lesson.
In the first part, we will be preparing to write and in the second part you will be writing the climax, so let's begin with preparing to write.
The purpose of the climax is to describe the main action and take the suspense to its highest point.
You have already written the opening and the buildup of your narrative.
You have already planned the climax and in today's lesson you will use your plan to write a paragraph for the climax.
Your narrative climax needs to include the following linguistic features, precise vocabulary from your plan.
This should include ambitious vocabulary and fronted burials.
It should also include show and tell language to heightened suspense.
You need to use a range of sentence types to support text flow.
Simple compound and adverbial complex sentences.
And you will also need to include direct speech for Hogarth and you developed ideas for this in your plan as well.
Linguistic features are types of words and language that a writer chooses carefully.
We will use the notes from our plan to write the climax.
Here is an example of some of the notes we developed for the first key moment in the climax, we have fronted adverbials, ambitious vocabulary and show and tell to heighten the suspense.
We should use our notes to form a range of sentence types as this supports text flow, let's remind ourselves of the different sentence types.
A sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea is called a simple sentence, it contains one main clause.
A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction, main clause, coordinating conjunction and or but, followed by another main clause.
Let's look at the rules for an adverbial complex sentence.
When an adverbial subordinate clause is joined to a main clause, it makes an adv complex sentence.
The main clause can come first and the adverbial subordinate clause can follow or the sentence can begin with an adverbial subordinate clause and it needs a comma to separate it from the main clause that follows.
An adverbial clause must begin with a subordinating conjunction, for example, as, when or so these subordinating conjunctions will be useful for your narrative climax.
It is now time to check your understanding.
Can you spot a simple compound and adverbial complex sentence in the following model? Once you have found each, explain to your partner how you know, I will read the model to you.
The following spring, "The mound over the Iron Man was covered in fresh grass and vibrant flowers.
As a family peacefully picnicked on the hill, they felt the earth beneath them tremble.
Terrifyingly, the ground cracked wide open and a huge iron hand thrust into the air." Pause the video now and see if you can spot the simple compound and adverbial complex sentence.
Let's take a look at the answers together.
Hopefully you spotted that the first sentence is an example of a simple sentence, because it contains one main clause.
The following sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence, because it begins with an adverbial clause as a family peacefully picnic on the hill.
And the final sentence is an example of a compound sentence, because it uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses well done for demonstrating your understanding of the different sentence types.
The climax takes the suspense to its highest point as the Iron Man resurfaces and humanity is not sure how to respond.
Let's look at some examples of show and tell for the characters to show how the suspense heightens.
Peacefully picnicked, this describes the family on the hill.
Thrust into the air, that's the Iron Man's hand.
Rumbled and roared.
Fled in terror, hearts pounding to describe the family.
The farmers shook with rage and they were determined to destroy him.
It'll then be important to convey Hogarth's feelings around saving the Iron Man.
Let's check your understanding.
Put the following events in order from one to four to show how the suspense heightens in the climax.
A, shook with rage determined to destroy him.
B, peacefully picnicked on the fresh grass.
C, fled in utter terror.
D, thrust his hand forcefully.
Pause the video and do this now.
Let's take a look at the answers together.
First, the family peacefully picnicked on the fresh grass.
Second, the Iron Man thrust his hand forcefully.
Third, the family fled in utter terror.
And fourth, the farmers shook with rage and they were determined to destroy him.
Well done for demonstrating your understanding of how the suspense heightens in the climax.
It's now time for your first task.
Say the first few sentences of the climax.
Make sure you use your plan and include the following.
Precise and ambitious vocabulary including fronted adverbials.
Show and tell language that conveys emotions and heightened suspense and a range of sentence types, including an adverbial complex sentence.
You can use these starting sentences to help you.
You can begin with a fronted, adverbial and then the hill over the Iron Man was complete this sentence, your next sentence could begin as a family and you can complete the adverbials your subordinate clause here, they felt.
Then complete the main clause, pause the video and orally rehearse your sentences now.
Welcome back, I loved listening to you orally rehearse your sentences for the climax, you did a great job at including the linguistic features, let's take a look at a good example together.
By the following spring, the hill over the Iron Man was full of fresh grass and flowers.
As a family happily enjoyed their picnic, they felt the earth beneath them tremble.
Shockingly, the ground cracked open and a gargantuan iron hand shot into the air.
The family fled in terror, as the Iron Man slowly dragged his ravenous body above ground.
For precise and ambitious vocabulary, we can see fresh grass and flowers.
Family happily enjoyed their picnic, felt the earth beneath them tremble a gargantuan iron hand shot into the air and we can see that the Iron Man's body is described as ravenous for fronted at adverbials we can see by the following spring and shockingly.
For show and tell language that conveys emotions and tighten suspense.
First, the family is described as happily enjoying their picnic.
Then after the Iron Man's hand appears, it says the family fled in terror and it says that the Iron Man slowly dragged his ravenous body above ground for a range of sentence types including an adverbial complex sentence.
The first sentence is an example of a simple sentence containing one main clause.
The next sentence is an example of an adverbial complex sentence.
It begins with the adverbial subordinate clause as a family happily enjoyed their picnic.
The next sentence is an example of a compound sentence, because it uses a coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses.
So this definitely includes all of the necessary linguistic features.
Well done again for orally rehearsing your sentences.
Hogarth did not want to harm the Iron Man and began to befriend him, he had a different plan.
You developed direct speech ideas for Hogarth in your plan.
Here is an example of some of the ideas we looked at.
He might have said, "We are really sorry for deceiving you, I know a way for you to have unlimited metal, you can trust my word." and you also developed ideas for the reporting clause.
We want to make sure we do not just use the word said.
We want to describe how Hogarth spoke, so we might say Hogarth appealed persuasively, the kind boy offered sincerely, Hogarth bellowed so the Iron Man could hear him.
We used direct speech to show that a person is speaking out loud, "We are so sorry for deceiving you." Hogarth apologised as he gently approached the Iron Man.
These are the words the person said out loud, this is direct speech.
Direct speech is shown to the reader using inverted commas, they look like this.
The inverted commas tell us where the words the person said, begin and end.
The reporting clause tells us who said the direct speech and how, we can use precise verbs and adverbs to give greater detail.
Let's check your understanding, true or false.
A reporting clause should always use the word said, pause the video and select your answer.
That is false, well done.
Now it's time to justify your answer.
A, a reporting clause doesn't need a verb or B, a variety of synonyms can be used instead of said to add detail to how the character spoke, pause the video and select the correct justification.
The answer is B, well done.
You can use a variety of synonyms instead of said to add detail to how the character spoke.
Let's look at the punctuation rules for direct speech.
These are the rules for when speech comes first in the sentence and is followed by the reporting clause.
We open with inverted commas.
We use a capital letter to begin the speech.
We use a piece of punctuation, either an exclamation mark, a question mark or a comma.
We close the speech with inverted commas.
We write a reporting clause and we finish the sentence with a full stop, let's take a look at an example.
"I have a way for you to eat all of the metal your heart desires." hogarth, bellowed, loudly inverted commas are around the direct speech, the words the character spoke, and Hogarth bellowed loudly is the reporting clause, which tells us how he said it.
Let's check your understanding what is incorrect or missing in these direct speech examples.
Remember to refer to the punctuation rules here.
I will read these to you, but to remember, you need to examine them carefully to look for the incorrect or missing punctuation.
A, "I am so sorry you were trapped for so long." Hogarth apologised.
B, "I have a way to give you unlimited metal." Hogarth, exclaimed.
And C, "Trust me, I will show you the way." Hogarth said sincerely.
Pause the video now and discuss what is incorrect or missing in these direct speech examples.
Let's take a look at the answers together.
For A, the comma was put after the closing of inverted commas and we need to make sure our piece of punctuation comes before we close the speech.
For B, we did not use a piece of punctuation or inverted to close the speech, so this needs to go in after the word metal.
And for C, the inverted commas were accidentally placed around the reporting clause, so we need to make sure the inverted commas go around the words the character spoke instead, well done for showing your understanding of the punctuation rules for direct speech.
It's now time for another task.
Fill in the blanks in the following model, including the missing punctuation to demarcate the direct speech.
Refer to the punctuation rules shown here.
I will read this to you.
"As Hogarth approached the hungry giant, he used the clinking of metal to draw his attention.
We are so sorry for tricking you.
I have a way for you to eat all the metal you can trust me." Hogarth said with.
The Iron Man's eyes lit up with, the words for you to choose from are sincerity, intrigue, desire and gently.
And don't forget to spot whether missing punctuation for the direct speeches.
Pause the video and do the task now.
Welcome back, let's take a look at the answers together.
As Hogarth gently approach to the hungry giant, he used the kinking of metal to draw his attention.
"We are so sorry for tricking you, I have a way for you to eat all the metal you desire, you can trust me." Hogarth said with sincerity.
The Iron Man's eyes lit up with intrigue.
Now the words that Hogarth spoke were, "We are so sorry for tricking you.
I have a way for you to eat all the metal you desire, you can trust me." So we need inverted commas before the word we and we need a piece of punctuation and inverted commas to close the speech after the word me.
While done for demonstrating your understanding of direct speech.
It's now time for the second and most exciting part of the lesson where you are going to be writing the climax.
When we write, we always try to do these things.
Plan and say each sentence before we write it.
Use punctuation where we know the rules, vary our sentence types.
Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting, sound out words to spell them accurately and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.
Here is the success criteria for your writing today.
Listen carefully, I will read it to you.
"I have used precise and ambitious vocabulary from my plan, including show and tell to heighten the suspense." "I have used a range of sentence types, including at least one adverbial complex sentence and I have used direct speech for Hogarth and punctuated it correctly.
You will use the notes from your plan for writing today.
Your plan contains notes for three key moments in the climax.
Pause the video now and make sure you have these notes with you.
Great, now I know you have them with you.
I am going to share a model of the first few sentences of the climax with you, listen carefully.
"One day the following spring, a family happily picnicked on the fresh grass that now covered the Iron Man.
Suddenly they felt the earth tremble and the ground cracked wide open.
As a monstrous iron hand thrust into the air, the family fled in terror." I now need your help.
Can you check my writing against the success criteria and see where I've met each point? Pause the video and discuss with your partner.
You were so great at checking my writing and spotting where I'd met the success criteria.
Let's go through the answers together.
For precise and ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell to heightened suspense.
We can see family happily picnicked, fresh grass.
They felt the earth tremble, ground cracked wide open, monstrous iron hand thrust, family fled in terror.
These are all examples of precise and ambitious vocabulary, and lots of these are show and tell as well.
For example, it begins by saying that the family happily picnicked, and then after the iron hand emerged, the family fled in terror.
This helps to heighten suspense, so we can definitely tick that.
For a range of sentence types, including at least one adverbial complex sentence.
The first sentence is an example of a simple sentence because it contains one main clause.
The next sentence is an example of a compound sentence, because it uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses.
And the final sentence is an example of an adial complex sentence, it begins with the adverbial subordinate clause as a monstrous iron hand thrust into the air, so we can definitely tick that.
You spotted that I cannot yet tick the final point on my success criteria, direct speech for Hogarth because this will come at the end of my climax.
It's now time for you to do your writing.
Remember to indent the first sentence and use the success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraph.
Pause the video and write the climax of your narrative now.
Welcome back, well done for your hard work writing the climax.
It's now time for you to read your writing back, to check it to make sense and edit any punctuation errors.
When you have done this, make sure you check your writing against the success criteria and tick each box when you are sure you have met it.
Pause the video and do this now.
Well done for reading over your writing, reflecting on it, and making any necessary edits and improvements.
I am sure you did a great job at meeting the success criteria.
Let's now take a look at a good example together.
"The following spring, the mound over the Iron Man was covered in fresh grass as a family enjoyed their picnic there one day, the earth beneath them trembled and the ground cracked wide open.
Suddenly a huge iron hand thrust into the air and the family fled in terror.
With a loud roar, the ravenous giants lifted his tortured body out of the ground.
When the farmers heard the news, they were enraged.
They wanted to call in the army to batter the Iron Man, but Hogarth passionately protested.
He assured them he had a plan that would protect everyone.
As he gently approached the Iron Man, he used the sound of metal to draw his attention.
'We are so sorry for tricking you! I have a way for you to eat all the metal your heart desires.
' Hogarth appealed persuasively.
The Iron Man's eyes lit up with intrigue." Let's check this against the success criteria for precise vocabulary and show and tell to heighten suspense, we can see family enjoyed their picnic, that show and tell earth beneath them trembled ground cracked wide open, a huge iron hand thrust into the air.
The ravenous iron giant lifted his tortured body out of the ground.
Hogarth passionately protested against what the farmers wanted to do and he gently approached the iron man.
He appealed persuasively.
And a great piece of show and tell, which gives a clue about what might happen in the resolution is the Iron Man's eyes lit up with intrigue, so we can definitely take that.
For a range of sentence types, including adverbial complex sentences.
The first sentence is an example of a simple sentence, because it contains one main clause.
The next sentence begins with the adverbial subordinate clause a family enjoyed their picnic there one day.
So this is an burial complex sentence.
The next sentence is an example of a compound sentence, because it uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses.
A little further down, we can see another adverbial complex sentence this time beginning with a different subordinating conjunction when, when the farmers heard the news they were enraged.
We can also see the use of a different coordinating conjunction, but to form another compound sentence so we can tick that.
And for direct speech for Hogarth, "We are so sorry for tricking you! I have a way for you to eat all the metal your heart desires." Hogarth appealed persuasively.
And this direct speech has been correctly punctuated and the reporting clause conveys how Hogarth spoke, so we can tick that.
We have now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.
The climax takes the suspense to its highest point as the Iron Man and humanity grapples with how to respond.
Precise and ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell help take the suspense to its highest point in the climax.
Using a range of sentence types, including adverbial complex sentences, supports text, vote.
Direct speech shows that a person is speaking out loud and the reporting clause tells us who said it and how.
And inverted commas are used to demarcate speech and a piece of punctuation separates speech from the reporting clause.
Well done again for your hard work writing a fantastic climax for your narrative based on the Iron Man, I have really enjoyed teaching you this lesson.