Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to your next lesson from our unit, "The Journey" diary writing.

I really hope you've enjoying the unit as much as I have.

In today's lesson, it's a really fun one 'cause we're gonna get started with planning our diary entry.

So you will need access to the book, "The Journey" by Francesca Sanna.

So if you need to, you can pause the video now to make sure you have it.

Great, hopefully we've all got access to the book, which means we are ready for today's learning.

Off we go.

In today's lesson from our unit, "The Journey" diary writing, we are going to be doing some planning ahead of writing.

So your learning outcome is, I can write a plan for the first paragraph of a diary entry.

So let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Oral recount, first person perspective, plan.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

An oral recount is speaking aloud to retell the events that have already happened.

First person perspective is the point of view where the speaker or writer is the I character, providing a personal account of events or experiences.

And a plan is a framework that writers create before they write a section or a whole text.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first we'll be doing an oral recount and in the second we'll be writing the plan.

So let's start with oral recount.

So let's just first review what we already know about "The Journey".

"The Journey" is a children's picture book that tells the story of two young girls who are fleeing their war-torn country to find a safe place to live.

The author and illustrator of "The Journey" is Francesca Sanna.

The book is inspired by true stories of refugees that the author met and spoke to.

Francesca Sanna wanted to share the personal stories of the refugees that we so often hear about on the news.

The diary entry can be structured like this, a greeting, paragraph one, which is the recount of the journey, paragraph two, which is an opportunity to express the writer's current feelings, how they are feeling now, and then a sign-off.

In today's lesson, we are planning paragraph one.

So you are going to write your plan in first person perspective as the girl in "The Journey".

So you are basically pretending to be the girl when, who is writing in a diary.

Perspective is the way someone thinks or feels or sees something.

It is their point of view.

For example, "I love to play with my friends!" "My favourite subject is geography." "I can see a park on the map." These characters are telling us their perspectives and they're speaking from the first person perspective.

This is the point of view where they are speaking as I, and the first person perspective gives a personal account.

So when you write your diary entry, you are going to be writing in I.

You're pretending to be the main character from girl, we've called her Leia.

So you're going to be saying, I did this or I felt this, not, Leia felt this, Leia felt that, because you are basically pretending to be Leia, you are writing in character as the girl from "The Journey".

So checking for understanding, true or false? Perspective is the way someone thinks, feels or sees something.

It is their point of view.

Pause video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, when you write from a character's perspective, you are expressing the character's thoughts and feelings.

B, when you write from a character's perspective, you are just writing lots of facts.

Pause the video now.

That is A, well done.

So let's now remind ourselves of what happened on the journey in chronological order, so from start to finish.

How did she feel at each point? I want you to be thinking about her emotions at each key moment of her journey.

So the first key moment was that their mother told them to pack their bags and say goodbye to their home.

How would she have felt at this moment, do you think? Pause the video now and have a think.

So she probably felt devastated, heartbroken, probably a bit confused, worried about the unknown, what was going to happen next.

Number two, they travelled for many days until they arrived at the border where they were turned away by the security guard.

Pause the video now and think about how she felt at this moment.

So they've been travelling for so long and then they finally get to the border and they get turned away.

So probably exhausted, shattered, but also full of adrenaline because it's such a stressful moment when they get to the border and they're turned away.

So just checking for understanding.

Which the following thoughts would convey her emotions when writing about the moment they left home.

A.

It was so exciting! B, my legs were aching because we didn't stop walking.

C, it was heartbreaking to say goodbye to my friends.

D, I am relieved to be close to safety.

So which of these thoughts would she have had as they were leaving their home? Pause the video now.

That's right, it's C, B, and D happen, are thoughts she would've had later on in the journey, and A, it was so exciting, we know from the book that she wasn't excited about leaving, in fact, she was really sad.

Well done.

So then three was that they ran away from the border police and hid overnight in the forest.

Think about how she would've been feeling then.

She's a young girl, she's probably never spent the night in the forest before.

How do you think she would've been feeling then? Pause the video now.

She was probably feeling really scared to be, she probably had to be really brave and maybe she was really proud of herself for how brave and strong she was and resilient she was that night.

Four, they crossed a vast sea on a ferry packed with other refugees.

How do you think she was feeling at this moment? Pause the video now.

So probably maybe a bit seasick, nauseous, which means sick, uncomfortable, we know they were, there was loads of other people on the boat, so maybe they didn't have much space, and also worried, the sea was really rough, so probably a bit worried that they wouldn't make it across safely.

And then finally, five, they took a train through many countries and travelled closer to their new, safe home.

Remembering they're not actually at the home yet.

We don't know, the story doesn't end with them being at their safe, new place, but they're getting closer.

So how do you think she feels now? Pause the video now.

Probably quite hopeful, relieved to be sat down and finally safe because they're away from the country that had become so dangerous for them.

So just checking for understanding.

Which of the following thoughts would convey her emotions when writing about the moment they hid in the forest overnight? A, I didn't wanna say goodbye to my toys! B, I couldn't sleep 'cause I was so terrified.

C, My stomach was churning as the waves were so rough.

Or D, I'm so happy to finally be sitting down.

So which these thoughts would she have had when describing the moment they hid in the forest overnight? Pause video now.

That's right, it was B, I couldn't sleep because I was so terrified.

It must have been pretty scary having to sleep in a forest.

So this feels like quite a likely thought that she would've had.

I didn't wanna say again goodbye to my toys, came earlier, and then C and D come a bit later in our story.

Well done, okay, it's time for task A.

You need to recount the key events and emotions of their journey.

Remember to speak from first person perspective as the girl.

So you have the five key moments.

My mother told us to pack our bags and say goodbye to our home.

We travelled for many days, but we were turned away at the border.

We ran away from the border police and hid overnight in the forest.

We crossed a vast sea on a ferry packed with other refugees.

We took a train through many countries and travelled closest to our new, safe home.

So you need to say these events out loud because it's an oral recount, and then you are also going to say the key thoughts and feelings about each moment, remembering to be speaking from the first person's perspective.

Pause video now and off you go.

Okay, well done everybody.

I hope you enjoyed that.

Here are some thoughts and feelings the girl may have had.

Don't worry if yours don't sound exactly the same as this, but hopefully they were along the same lines.

So firstly, the moment they had to pack their bags and leave, what was the thought that she might have had? I don't want to leave! What about my toys and my friends? Then, the moment that they were turned away at the border after all those days of travel, my legs were aching and I was desperate for a break.

Then, the moment they ran away from the border police and hid overnight in the forest, I couldn't sleep because I was so terrified.

Then, the moment they crossed the vast sea with all the other refugees, my stomach was churning violently.

And then finally, the moment that they were on the train, travelling through these different countries towards safety, I'm so relieved to be sitting down and to be closer to our new home.

Now of course we can't know exactly where this girl was, the girl was feeling because she's a fictional character.

So we've had to empathise and try and understand her thoughts.

So we probably all didn't get the exact same answers, but hopefully these, your ideas were quite similar to these.

So really well done everybody.

Okay, it's time for the second section of our lesson where we are going to be writing the plan.

When we write a plan, we use notes.

Notes are concise and capture the most important information.

For a diary entry, this is the key events in chronological order and the thoughts and feelings of the person writing the diary.

The purpose of notes is to help the writer summarise and organise key information for future use.

We do not write in full sentences on our plan.

We do use bullet points though when we are note taking, and they look like this.

So checking for understanding, what will a written plan for your diary entry include? A, full sentences with capital letters and full stops.

B, bullet points for notes.

C, key events and thoughts and feelings.

D, unnecessary information.

Pause the video now.

That's right, on our plan, we'll use B, bullet points for notes and describing the key events and thoughts and feelings.

Well done.

So we know we don't want to use full sentences in our plan.

So how could I take the key words and phrases in the following example sentence and turn them into note form for a plan? So this is your full sentence.

We packed all of our belongings and said goodbye to everyone we know.

This is a key moment from "The Journey", but at the moment this is in a full sentence.

So we want to make it into note form.

So here is an example of turning it into note form and we are turning, and we are choosing the most important moments.

Packed our belongings, said goodbye.

So now we have two bullet point notes which we'll use to remind us when it comes to writing of what we need to include.

So check for understanding.

Which of the following would be appropriate for notes as part of your plan.

A, We packed all of our belongings and said goodbye to everyone we knew.

B, belongings, or C, packed all belongings.

Pause the video now.

That is C, A is a full sentence so we wouldn't use it on our plan, and B, the word belongings is a bit too brief, it wouldn't be that useful for us when we are writing.

So packed all belongings is the most useful note for us.

Well done.

It's time for task B.

Part one is to write bullet point notes for paragraph one, and it's the moments from the recount from when they left their country up until they arrived at the boat.

So what are the three key moments that happened and what were the thoughts and feelings of the girl at each moment? So we've thought about these moments and her feelings in the first section of this lesson, so now we're going to think about writing them in note form on our plan.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Okay, well done everybody, welcome back.

So let's go through these.

So what happened? The first moment, packed all our belongings, said goodbye to everyone.

Thoughts and feelings, I was heartbroken, why must everything change? Then the next moment, travelled for many days and nights, turned away at border.

Thoughts and feelings about this, my legs were aching, shattered/exhausted, so two adjective choices there.

Then the third moment, ran away from the border police, spent the night in the forest.

Thoughts and feelings about this, my heart was pounding, hugged Mumma tightly all night.

Okay, so you can see all of these bullet point notes were not in full sentences, but they will be really useful when it comes to writing our diary entry so we know exactly what to write and in which order.

Okay, it's time for top part two.

Now you need to write bullet point notes again for paragraph one, but this time you are recounting from their boat journey until they were on the train.

So two key moments there, their boat journey and then the moment she got on the train.

So thinking about how you can describe those in bullet point notes, and also her thoughts and feelings about each moment.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Well done everybody.

Welcome back.

So let's think about these two key moments.

First one, she crossed the sea on a ferry, spoke to other passengers.

Some thoughts and feelings she might have had about that, seasick or nauseous, legs like jelly.

And then final moment, took a train across many countries, arrived closer to a safe space.

And then her thoughts and feelings, relieved and hopeful, miss my friends and toys.

So once again, these are not full sentences, these are just some key ideas for you to include on your plan, which you'll then be able to use when it comes to writing the diary entry.

So if you need to, you can pause the video now and add any of these ideas onto your plan.

Otherwise, really well done.

Okay, here is a summary of everything we've learned in this lesson.

Oral rehearsal of a recount ensures we have a clear understanding of the chronology of events, when rehearsing and planning for a diary entry, we do so in first person perspective, an effective plan for a diary entry contains key events in chronological order and thoughts and feelings, and a plan is written in note format, using bullet points to capture the most important information.

Make sure you keep your plan safe because you will need it in the next lesson where we are writing the first paragraph.

Great job everybody.

Well done.