Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to the next lesson from our unit, "The Journey": Diary Writing.

Thank you so much for joining me on today's lesson.

I'm really excited because we are going to be doing a bit more planning.

Now for today's lesson, you will need access to the book, "The Journey" by Francesca Sana.

So if you need to, you can pause the video now so that you can go and get the book ahead of the lesson.

Okay, great.

Hopefully we've all got the book now, which means we are ready to get started with today's lesson.

Off we go.

In today's lesson from our unit, "The Journey": Diary Writing, we are going to be planning the next paragraph in our diary entry.

So your learning outcome is: I can write a plan for the second paragraph of a diary entry.

Let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn: notes, first-person perspective, plan.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

So notes are what we write in our plan, and they are written out of full sentences.

first-person's perspective is the point of view where the speaker or the writer is the "I" character providing a personal account of events or experiences.

And a plan is a framework that writers create before they write a section or a whole text.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first we'll be Preparing to plan, and in the second we'll be Writing the plan.

So let's start with Preparing to plan.

You are going to write your plan in first-person perspective as the girl in "The Journey".

Perspective is the way someone thinks, feels or sees something.

It's basically their point of view.

For example: "I love to play with my friends." "My favourite subject is geography." "I can see a park on the map." These characters are telling us their perspectives and they are speaking from the first-person perspective.

So there's the point of view where they are speaking as I.

"I love to play with my friends." "My favourite subject.

." "I can see.

." And the first-person perspective gives a personal account.

Let's check for understanding.

True or false? Perspective is the way someone thinks, feels or sees something.

It's their point of view.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A: When you write from a character's perspective, you are expressing the character's thoughts and feelings.

Or B: When you write from a character's perspective, you are just writing lots of facts.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Well done.

So our diary entry can be structured like this: with our greeting, then paragraph one which is the recount of the journey.

And we've written this, we explained and retold the events of their journey in paragraph one.

Then paragraph two, where you are expressing your current feelings or the girl from "The Journey's" current feelings, but you are writing as her.

And then a sign off.

In today's lesson, we are planning paragraph two.

So the second paragraph in your diary entry will do two things.

It will describe how the writer is feeling now.

So how the girl feels now she is on the train and they have completed most of the journey so that she is safe now.

And also her hopes for the future because remember, the book doesn't end with her safely in her new home, not quite.

The book ends with her on the train getting really close to safety.

So she still has lots of thoughts about what she's hoping to find and what's gonna happen next.

So now with your partner or whoever you are with, I want you to discuss and identify a thought that you think the girl would've had when she was safely on the train.

So what thoughts might have run through her mind and that she might have written in her diary after she'd been through this really challenging, arduous journey and now she's finally sat down and sitting on a train? Remember, when you are discussing what you think she might be thinking, use the first-person perspective.

"I am so relieved to be sitting down." "I can't believe the journey I've had." Not, "She couldn't believe the journey she'd had." "She was happy she was sat down." Because we are speaking in the first-person perspective.

So pause the video now and discuss the thoughts you think she might have had whilst when she was safely on the train.

Off you go.

Okay, here are some possible responses.

Don't worry if yours aren't exactly the same as this.

I don't expect them to be, but I wonder if they are similar and along the same lines.

"I'm happy we are safely off the boat, but I still miss my home more than anything." Or "I hope we find a safe place soon, maybe then, I can draw more pictures, go to school and have a bed to sleep in." So in the first one, "I'm happy we are safely on the boat, but I still miss home more than anything.", she's talking more about what she's missing.

And then in the second one, she's talking about what she's hoping for, isn't she? She hopes she can draw some more pictures, go to school, have a safe bed.

So these are just two ideas of thoughts that she might have had when she was on the train and thoughts that she might have been writing in her diary.

So checking for understanding.

True or false? This sentence could feature in your second paragraph: "Later we crossed a ferry packed with hundreds of people." Pause the video now.

That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A: The second paragraph should continue to recount the events from their journey, or B: The second paragraph in your diary entry will describe how the writer is feeling now and her hopes for the future.

Pause the video now.

That's why it is B.

We are not recounting the events anymore in paragraph two, we did that in paragraph one.

Paragraph two is talking about how she feels now, now she's on safely on the train and what she hopes for in the future.

Well done! So a diary is a safe space to write down personal feelings because really, the person who's writing the diary is the only person who knows what's in there.

So now I want you to think about and discuss the personal feelings the girl might have had that she wanted to share in her diary.

Think about particularly what she misses from home.

Remember, we don't know exactly what she will have missed because this is a fictional character.

So almost you could be thinking about what you would miss from home if you were in her position.

So you're trying to empathise with the girl and understand her feelings.

What do you think she might have been missing from her? Remember to speak in first-person perspective.

"I miss my.

." You can carry on with that sentence.

So pause the video now and off you go.

Okay, well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Here are some possible responses.

Again, don't worry if yours aren't exactly the same, but hopefully they were along the same lines, talking about what she will have missed from home.

"I miss my toys and the drawings I stuck on my bedroom wall." "I miss our local shop that sells my favourite sweets." "When can I see my friends again? I wish they could come too." So she misses her drawings.

She misses her toys, her local shops and all her friends.

These are the things that she misses from home and that she might be writing about in her diary entry.

Okay, well done.

So checking for understanding.

Which of the following sentences would appear in a diary entry? A: It is really fun to play in the playground.

B: I miss my dolls and toys so much.

C: Drawing is an enjoyable hobby.

But D: All I want is some colours to draw with.

Pause the video now.

Okay, so there are two sentences that could appear in her diary entry.

B: I miss my dolls and toys so much.

And D: All I want is some colours to draw with.

And the reason they would appear is because firstly, they're written in the first-person perspective and also they're sharing the personal feelings of the person writing the diary.

Great job, everybody.

Well done.

So the girl will also be thinking about what she's hoping for once they get off the train.

Because remember, the book doesn't end with them already in safety and in a safe place to live.

They're not quite there yet.

So she can still be thinking about what she wants and wishes for.

So now you need discuss the personal feelings the girl might have had that she wanted to share in her diary.

And this time I want you to think about what she wishes and hopes for in the future.

And remember, you're speaking in first-person perspective.

"I hope we" or "I really want to." So pause the video now and off you go.

Okay, well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Let's have a think about some possible responses.

"I hope we can find somewhere safe for me to play outside.", "I wish to live in a house with a garden that has a pear tree.", and "I'm looking forward to a comfy bed and a table for me to draw on." So these are all thoughts that she might have had about what she wants for her future.

And we're gonna be thinking about including these in our plan in the next section of the lesson.

So checking for understanding first.

Which of the following sentences would appear in a diary entry? A: I hope we have a garden where we can play outside.

B: Gardens are filled with flowers and plants.

C: They played happily in the garden.

Or D: We want to find a safe house with a garden.

Pause the video now.

Okay, so the sentences that could appear in her diary entry, A: I hope we have a garden where we can play outside.

And D: We want to find a safe house with a garden.

And again, the reasons that they would be found in a diary entry is because they're written in first-person perspective and they're expressing the personal feelings and hopes of the person writing the diary.

Well done.

So it's time for Task A.

You need to sort the girl's thoughts into the table.

They are either about what she misses about home or what she's hoping for in the future.

And your options are: "I miss my toys." "I hope we find a safe place to live." "I miss my bedroom with my drawings on the wall." "We want a house with a garden." "I hope we can play outside.", and "I'm missing my friends now." So pause the video now and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Let's go through these.

So the ones, the thoughts that she might have had about missing home were, "I miss my toys." "I miss my bedroom with my drawings on the wall.", and "I'm missing my friends now." And then the thoughts about what she's hoping for in the future.

"I hope we can play outside.", "We want a house with a garden.", and "I hope we find a safe place to live." Well done, everybody.

Great job.

Okay, it is time for the second section of our lesson where we are going to be writing the plan.

When we write a plan, we use notes.

Notes are concise, so short, and capture the most important information.

So for a diary entry, this is the key events in chronological order, which we've already done in section paragraph one.

And then the thoughts and feelings of the person writing.

Thoughts and feelings are gonna be the key focus of our plan in this lesson.

The purpose of notes is to help the writer summarise and organise key information for future use.

So when it comes to writing.

So we do not write in full sentences.

This means though, it's really important we keep our plans safe because we will need it in the next lesson when we are writing this paragraph.

We use bullet points when note-taking and they look like this.

So checking for understanding.

What will a written plan for your diary entry include? A: Full sentences with capital letters and full stops.

B: Bullet points for notes, C: Key events and thoughts and feelings or D: Unnecessary information? Pause the video now.

In our plan we need B: Bullet points for notes and C: Key events and key thoughts and feelings.

Well done, everybody.

Great job.

So, we know we don't want to include full sentences in our plan.

So how could I take the key words and phrases in the following example sentence and turn them into note form for a plan.

So here's your full sentence: "Yesterday, I drew a picture in the dirt of a house with a big garden and Mumma told me that we would be able to stay somewhere like that soon." So that's an excellent compound sentence, but it is a complete sentence.

So we don't want to include it on our plan.

It's too much.

How could we make it note form? Here is an example of turning it into note form and just taking out the most important information from that sentence.

"Drew a picture of big house and garden." "Mumma said it will be soon." So you can see these are not complete sentences, but they'll be really useful when it comes to writing so we know what to include.

So checking for understanding.

Which of the following would be appropriate for notes as part of your plan? A: We might be safe now, but I really miss my friends, B: Friends, C: Safe but missing friends.

Which of these are appropriate notes? Pause the video now.

That's right, it is C.

A is a full sentence so we don't need that on our plan.

And B: Just the word "friends" isn't that useful for when it comes to writing.

We need a bit more detail.

So C is a really effective and efficient note.

Well done.

So it's time for Task B.

You need to write bullet point notes for paragraph two.

The first three bullet point notes will be about what the girl misses from home.

So think back to the first section of this lesson where we discussed the thoughts the girl might have had that she might have been writing in her diary when she was safely on the train.

And remember to write in first-person perspective as the girl.

So three bullet point notes about what you think she might have written in her diary.

What was she missing from home? Pause the video now.

Off you go.

Okay, well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to show you my bullet point notes.

Don't worry if yours weren't exactly the same, but if you'd like to, you can pause the video and add these to your plan if you think that you would maybe want to include them in your writing.

So, "Miss my friends and family." "Why can't they come too?" "Missing my favourite sweets from corner shop." Okay, well done.

Now the second part of Task B: We need to write bullet point notes for paragraph two again.

But this time we are thinking about the thoughts that she might have had about her hopes for the future.

And just like this last time, you're going to be writing in first-person perspective and you're gonna be thinking about what she wants to happen when they get off the train.

What does she wish for? What does she hope for? Remember, she's a fictional character so we don't know exactly, but you just need to empathise with the character and think about what maybe if you were in her position, what you would be hoping for or what you think she might be hoping for.

So pause video now and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Okay, so here are my ideas.

Again, if you want to add them to your plan, you can.

And don't worry if yours don't look exactly the same.

So I thought: "Hope for a safe place to play outside." "Drew a dream house and garden in the dirt." "Wish for a table for me to draw on." So these are just three thoughts that I thought she might have had about what she would like when she gets off the train.

Okay, great job, everybody.

Well done.

Remember to keep your plan safe because you're going to need them in the next lesson when we are writing this paragraph.

So here is a summary of everything we've learned today: When planning for a diary entry, we do so in first-person perspective.

An effective plan for a diary entry contains key events in chronological order and thoughts and feelings.

A plan is written in note format using bullet points to capture the most important information.

And the second paragraph in this diary entry will explain what the girl misses about home and what she hopes for in the future.

Great job today, everybody.

Really well done.