Hi, everybody, it's Ms. Gardner, and welcome to your penultimate lesson from our unit, "The Journey: Diary Writing." I really hope you've been enjoying the unit as much as I have.

Today is a really fun lesson.

We're going to be using our plans to help us write the second part of our diary entry.

So you will need access to the book, "The Journey," by Francesca Sanna.

So if you need to, you can pause the video now to make sure you have it.

Great.

Okay, great.

Hopefully, you've all got the book, which means we are ready to get started with today's learning.

Off we go.

<v ->In today's lesson from our unit,</v> "The Journey: Diary Writing," we are going to be using our plan from the previous lesson to help us write our second paragraph.

So your learning outcome is: I can write the second paragraph of a diary entry.

Let's start by looking at the keywords.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Tense.

First person.

Informal language.

Text flow.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

So the tense tells the reader when something happens.

So either in the present, past, or future tense.

First person is the 'I/we' perspective.

Informal language is language and vocabulary that is used for more casual and relaxed purposes.

And text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

So there are two sections of our lesson today.

In the first, we'll be preparing to write, and in the second, we'll be writing the diary entry.

So let's start with preparing to write.

The diary entry that you've been writing can be structured like this: A greeting, paragraph 1, which was a recount of the journey, paragraph 2, where you are expressing current feelings, and then a sign-off.

In today's lesson, we are writing paragraph 2.

When we write, we always try to do these things: Plan and say each sentence before we write it down.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence types that we know.

So simple, compound, and complex.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Use spelling strategies to spell words accurately.

And check and improve our writing when we think we have finished.

So we are going to continue writing a diary entry written from the first person perspective of the girl in "The Journey." First person perspective is the point of view where the writer is the 'I' character.

You are writing in character as the girl.

So you will use pronouns like 'I,' 'me,' 'we' because you are writing in the first person.

You are essentially pretending to be the girl.

So let's just review the notes from a plan 'cause we know it's really useful to use a plan when we're writing.

So the first bullet point notes on our plan were all about what she misses from home.

Miss my friends and family, why can't they come too, missing my favourite suites from corner shop.

Then, we have three bullet point notes all about what she hopes for in the future.

Hope for safe place to play outside, drew a dream house and garden in the dirt, wish for a table for me to draw on.

So you can see all these bullet point notes are not written in full sentences right now.

We are going to use them though to help us structure our paragraph, and we'll be of course writing in full sentences when we write our paragraph.

So this paragraph needs to include the following for text flow: informal language, simple, compound, and complex sentences, present tense, and also future tense, and then a sign-off.

So let's have a look at these in a bit more detail.

Your diary entry will switch between tenses.

The majority of your first paragraph was written in the past tense because you are recounting the events of the journey.

In this second paragraph, you are going to shift into the present tense to communicate how you currently feel.

I am so relieved to be sitting down.

I am missing my friends.

But you will also shift into the future tense to communicate what you hope for the future.

So let's have a look at this in a bit more detail.

The present tense can be written in the simple, perfect, or progressive form.

So, for example, the simple present tense contains one main verb, and you can see in the examples here: I/we am or we are, you hope, or he/she/it draws.

You could also write it in the perfect present tense, which is made up of a have and or has verb and then a past tense main verb.

I/we have been, you have hoped, he/she/it has drawn.

And this shows, the perfect present tense shows that something that started in the past is still connected to now, connected to the present.

Then you have the progressive present tense, which is made up of an am/is/are and then a main verb ending in -ing.

So I/we am being or we are being, you are hoping, or he/she/it is drawing.

And the progressive present tense tells the reader that the verb is ongoing.

So just checking for understanding.

Which form of the present tense is each sentence written in? A, I have drawn a picture of a house and a big garden.

B, I am missing my friends more than ever.

C, I hope we find somewhere safe soon.

So which form of the present tense is each sentence written in? And remembering to look for the verb to help you with this.

Pause the video now.

Okay, well done.

So let's go through these.

A, this sentence uses 'have', 'I have', plus the past tense main verb 'drawn'.

'I have drawn' is the perfect present tense.

It started in the past but it is connected to the present.

B, this sentence uses 'am' plus the -ing main verb 'missing'.

I am missing.

So this is the progressive present tense.

And then C, I hope we find somewhere soon.

This sentence uses two main verbs, 'hope' and 'find', and it is the simple present tense.

Great job, everybody.

Well done.

So now thinking about the future tense.

The future tense can be written in the simple or the progressive form.

For example.

So the simple future tense is made up of an auxiliary verb and a main verb.

So I/we will go, 'will' is the auxiliary verb, you will find, or he, she, and it will play.

This indicates that the action will happen in the future.

Then, in the progressive future tense, you have an auxiliary being verb and a main verb ending in -ing.

So I/we will be going, you will be finding, he/she/it will be playing.

This indicates that the action will happen in the future but over a timeframe, because it is in the progressive form.

So checking for understanding.

Which the following sentences uses the progressive future tense? A, we will get off the train soon.

B, hopefully, we will be playing safely outside soon.

C, we hope we will find somewhere safe to play soon.

So thinking about which sentence is in the progressive future tense.

Pause the video now.

Okay, let's go through these.

It's not A.

'We will get off the train soon' is in the simple future.

B is in the progressive future tense because 'we will be playing' is the progressive future form.

And then C is not in the progressive future because 'we will find' is the simple future.

Well done.

So diary entries use informal language.

This is because only the writer is reading their writing so it doesn't need to be formal.

It's a very casual type of writing, and a relaxed type of writing.

You are writing in character as the young girl from "The Journey" and your language choices should reflect it.

So you want to write in a way that sounds like the young girl would be writing or would be speaking.

So let's explore, now, ways of making our writing informal.

Let's have a look at this sentence.

In addition, we would like to find a house with the garden.

Does that feel very informal? I don't think it does.

We've got the formal fronted adverbial 'in addition', which is an fronted adverbial we'd expect to find in nonfiction type text like a non-chronological report, and it doesn't include any emotive or emotional language.

So that's not very informal.

How about this sentence? We're desperate to leave this HORRIBLE train and find a safe place to play.

Does this seem more informal and sound more like the character, the young girl in "The Journey"? I think so.

It says, we've used some exaggeration, 'horrible' is in capital letters, and then 'desperate' is emotive language.

She's showing the emotions that she's feeling.

So this is a lot more informal.

Using apostrophes for contraction also helps to make our writing more informal.

So have a look.

It has been a long time since we saw our friends.

That's very formal tone.

So it's not informal language.

However, 'I'm missing my friends and toys more than EVER', is informal because we've used an apostrophe for contraction.

Instead of saying 'I am,' we've said 'I'm'.

That's informal language.

And ever is in capital letters, so it's an exaggeration.

So this is more informal.

We also know that we need to use a range of sentence types to improve text flow in our writing.

We can use simple, compound, and complex sentences.

And varying the position of the subordinate and the main clause in a complex sentence is another effective way of making your writing less repetitive.

Let's have a look at what I mean by this.

A complex sentence is formed of a main clause stretched with a subordinate adverbial clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction, for example, 'because', 'as', 'when'.

So these three things together form a complex sentence.

So let's look now at a main clause and a subordinate adverbial clause.

When we find somewhere safe to live.

That's a subordinate clause.

It doesn't make sense by itself and it starts with a subordinating conjunction 'when'.

We will play outside all day long.

That is a main clause.

It makes sense by itself.

So the position of the adverbial clause can change and it'll still make sense in a complex sentence.

For example: When we find somewhere safe to live, we will play outside all day long.

Here, the adverbial clause came first, we made sure we had a comma after the adverbial clause, and then your main clause came second.

But you can switch it around.

We will play outside all day long when we find somewhere safe to live.

Here, your main clause came first, there was no comma after the main clause, and then your adverbial subordinate clause came second.

So both of these work as complex sentences, and it's a really good thing to try and challenge yourself to vary the position of the clauses in your complex sentence.

So just checking for understanding.

True or false? This is a complex sentence: I am desperate to get off this train because we have been on it for DAYS now.

Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, the main clause is stretched with the adverbial subordinate clause that starts with the subordinating conjunction 'because', or B, a complex sentence contains one clause only.

Pause the video now.

That's right, that is A.

Well done.

So these two sentences are both simple sentences.

We might be safe now.

I really miss my friends.

They are both two simple sentences made up of one main clause each.

However, we could make it a compound sentence because we could make it a main clause, coordinating conjunction, main clause, and then we would have a compound sentence.

So, for example, I can say the first main clause then use 'but' to join it to a second main clause.

We might be safe now, but I really miss my friends.

So you can see these two simple sentences have now become one compound sentence.

So now, it's your turn.

You need to say the first main clause, then use 'but' to join it to a second main clause.

Use this sentence scaffold to help you.

We might be safely on a train now, but.

You need to finish the sentence with another main clause.

So pause the video now, and off you go.

Okay, let's say this compound sentence together.

We might be safely on a train now, but I miss my friends more than ever.

Well done.

So we know we want to use a range of sentence types, so now let's think about using simple sentences.

Using simple sentences is also an effective way of improving text flow.

Using three simple sentences in a row can also be a powerful way of conveying emotions.

Let's have a look.

I miss my home.

I miss my friends.

I hope I will see them again soon.

So you can see here we've got one simple sentence, another simple sentence, and another simple sentence all in a row, and together, that can be a really powerful way of expressing emotions.

So checking for understanding.

True or false? This is a simple sentence: I miss my home and I want to see my friends.

Pause the video now.

That is false.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, this is a compound sentence.

It is formed of two main clauses that are joined with the coordinating conjunction 'and'.

Or B, a simple sentence is formed of only one clause.

Pause the video now.

That's right, it is A.

'I miss my home' is a main clause.

And a coordinating conjunction, 'I want to see my friends', is another main clause.

So you have formed a compound sentence there.

Well done.

So the final thing we need to include in our diary entry today is a sign-off.

And a sign-off indicates that the diary entry is coming to an end.

Now, sign-offs are personal and individual to the writer.

So for example: Goodnight, Leia.

I'll write again soon, Leia: Speak soon, Leia.

The character in the journey is unnamed.

I've named her Leia.

You don't have to, you could choose another name, but making sure that you do include a name in the sign-off.

So it's time for task A.

You need to say the first few sentences of your diary entry.

Make sure you include the following: first person's perspective, 'I', 'we', 'my', use of present and future tense, and use of informal language.

Here are two starting sentence scaffolds you can use to help you.

We might be safe now, but.

And then, I hope we find somewhere safe soon because.

And then you can complete the sentence.

So pause the video now, and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

Let's go through my two example sentences.

You can either read them along with me or be listening and checking I've included first person perspective, present and future tense, and informal language.

"We might be safe now, but I'm missing my friends and toys more than EVER.

I hope we find somewhere safe to live because I want to play outside in a garden with a big tree as soon as we can." So have I written in first person perspective? I have.

I've used pronouns like 'we', 'my', and 'I.

' Have I used present and future tense? I have.

I said, "I hope we will find," so that's in the future tense, and 'I'm missing' and 'I want' both in the present tense.

And then have I used informal language? 'I'm' uses an apostrophe for contraction, which is more informal, and ever is in capital letters so an exaggeration, which is an example of informal language.

Thank you for helping me check these over and well done on task A.

It's now time for the second section of our lesson where we are writing the diary entry.

This is the success criteria that we will use to write today.

Let's go through it.

I have written in the first person perspective.

I have written in both present and future tense.

I have used informal language to reflect the writer of the diary's character.

And I have included a range of sentence types for text flow.

So let's have a look now at a model section.

I'm going to read it out loud now, and as I'm reading, you can be checking if I've included everything for my success criteria.

"I'm happy we're safely on a train and I'm SO relieved to be finally sitting down.

It's still hard though.

I miss my friends.

I miss my toys.

I hope I will see them again one day.

Yesterday, I drew a picture of a house with a big tree in front and Mama told me that we will be able to stay somewhere like that soon.

When we finally get there, we can play safely outside again.

I can't wait! I'm off to sleep now because we have to wake up early AGAIN tomorrow! Speak soon, Leia." So have I written in the first person perspective? I have.

I've used I, I'm, my, me, we, all of these are pronouns that you use in the first person perspective, so I can give myself a tick.

Have I written in both present and future tense? 'I'm happy', 'I miss', these are all in the present tense.

'I will see', 'we will be', in the future tense.

So yes, I've used both, so I can give myself a tick.

Have I used informal language to reflect the character of the diary entry? 'I'm' and 'we' both use apostrophes for contraction, and then 'so' and 'again' are in capital letters, which exaggerate, and then saying, "I can't wait," is quite an informal way of showing the girls' excitement.

So yes, I can give myself a tick for informal language.

Then have I included a range of sentence types for text flow? My first sentence was a compound sentence.

I used the coordinated conjunction 'and'.

I then had three simple sentences in a row, starting with, "It's still hard though.

I miss my friends." These are simple sentences.

I used another coordinating conjunction 'and' so another compound sentence.

'When we finally get there' and 'I'm off to sleep now because,' these are both complex sentences.

So I can give myself a tick 'cause I've used simple, compound, and complex sentences.

So it's time for task B.

You now need to write the second paragraph of your diary entry.

Use your success criteria and your plan to help you structure your paragraph.

So pause the video now, make sure you leave an indent between the margin and your first word, and then off you go, writing the second paragraph of your diary entry.

Off you go.

Okay, well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

In a moment, you're going to read back through the second paragraph of your diary entry.

Use your success criteria to help you check that you have included everything needed in this section.

And make sure and ensure that you have finished your diary entry with a sign-off.

So if you have written in the first person perspective, give yourself a tick.

If you have written in both present and future tense, give yourself a tick.

If you have used informal language to reflect the character of the girl who is writing, give yourself a tick.

And if you've included a range of sentence types for text flow, simple, compound, and complex, give yourself a tick.

Pause the video now, and off you go, checking back through your diary entry.

Well done, everybody.

Great job today.

Here is a summary of everything we've learned.

We use notes from our plan to form full sentences.

Diary entries use informal language that reflect the character who's writing.

Writers switch between the present, past, and future tense in diary entries.

First person perspective is the point of view where the writer is the 'I' character.

And including a range of sentence types, including simple, compound, and complex, improves the text flow for the reader.

Brilliant job today, everybody.

Well done.