Lesson video

Hi everybody, it's Ms. Gardner.

Welcome back to your next lesson from the unit, "The Man on the Moon" narrative writing.

I'm really excited for today's learning.

Thank you so much for coming to join.

So, let's get started.

In today's lesson from our unit, "The Man on the Moon" narrative writing, we are completing our final section of the narrative.

So, your learning outcome is, I can write a narrative resolution based on "The Man on the Moon".

Let's have a look at our keywords.

We'll do my turn your turn.

So, I'll say the word first and then see if you can say it back to the screen, or your partner, or whoever you are with.

Text flow, fronted adverbial, past tense.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

Text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged.

So, which sentence structures you're using, what sentence types you're using, and the order that they come in.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

Past tense shows that the action happened before now.

There are two sections to today's learning.

We'll be preparing to write and then writing the resolution.

So, let's start with preparing to write.

"The Man on the Moon" can be structured like this.

Into an opening, build up, climax, and then the resolution.

In this lesson, we are writing the resolution.

So, the purpose of the resolution is to do all of these.

To resolve a story, to bring the story to a close, and to allow readers to have that chance to reflect and to pause and to think about what they've read.

So, let's review the key moments of the resolution and the ambitious vocabulary and fronted adverbials that we generated on our plan.

So, the first key moment was the man looked at Earth through his telescope.

So some fronted adverbials that could used.

From the vast Moon, that's where he was looking, from the vast Moon.

Delicately, so how he lifted his telescope.

And then, as he lifted the precious telescope.

Some ambitious vocabulary, the frail man zoomed slowly into Earth.

And there he saw the shimmering lights and the joyful families.

So that really exciting, happy Christmas scene.

And the town was buzzing with excitement.

The next moment, Lily and the man waved at each other.

So, from the warmth of her home, with a beaming smile, describing how she looked and joyfully, joyfully, she waved.

Describing how she felt.

Some ambitious vocabulary, the bright-eyed girl, waving ecstatically her heart skipped a beat.

Some show not tell.

A show and tell to show how excited she was.

And then finally, the last key moment of the resolution and of the narrative.

A tear rolled down his face as he realised someone was thinking of him.

So we could use, finally.

Finally, he had a friend.

Silently, so how the tear cried.

We said that he wasn't sobbing really loudly, but it was a silent tear.

And then where is he? Up in the starry sky.

Some ambitious vocabulary, the compassionate friend.

Lily shows such compassion, thinking about the man.

So, she's compassionate.

A solitary tear, solitary is the only tear.

And he waved gratefully.

So, that's what he was doing at the very end.

Waving and thankful to Lily.

So when we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Showcase each sentence type we know, simple, compound, and complex.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Use spelling strategies to spell words accurately.

And check and improve our writing when we think we've finished.

So, we're gonna start with a talk task, because we want to practise saying our sentences out loud.

And we're gonna say sentences using these ideas from our plan, from the vast Moon, the frail man, slowly zoomed.

Here is a sentence scaffold to help you say these sentences.

So, I'm going to say it now, and when I say the word blank you can think about which idea from the notes above could fit in into this full sentence.

From the blank, the blank delicately held the precious telescope and he blank into Earth.

Okay, so you're going to use those notes from the bullet points and include them and say them as part of a full sentence.

So, pause the video now and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

So, saying these sentence out loud, it could sound like this.

From the vast Moon, the frail man delicately held the precious telescope and he slowly zoomed into Earth.

And you can see I've crossed them out as I've used them on the notes.

Well done, everyone.

Okay, now next sentence.

Say one full sentence aloud that uses these ideas, with a beaming smile, the bright-eyed girl, waving ecstatically, heart skipped a beat.

Here's another sentence scaffold to help you.

With a blank, the blank girl started waving blank and her heart blank.

He could see her! Okay, so using the ideas from the notes, can you say a full sentence out loud? Off you go.

Well done, everyone.

Let's now say the sentence out loud.

Can we all say it together actually? Let's, I wanna hear you saying it to the screen.

With a beaming smile, the bright-eyed girl started waving ecstatically and her heart skipped a beat.

He could see her! Well done, everybody.

Okay, let's think about what we need to include in this section.

So, the resolution needs to include, ambitious vocabulary, precise adjectives, adverbs and verbs, references to the noun in different ways, sentences written in the past tense, fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner, and text flow.

So including a range of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

So, writers should include a range of sentence types to improve text flow.

It can be very effective to choose a simple sentence sometimes at certain points in the narrative.

A simple sentence is formed of one main clause.

Let's have a look at what a simple sentence could be in our resolution.

Finally, he had a friend.

We have a fronted adverbial, but there is only one main clause.

So, it is a simple sentence.

And this short, simple sentence allows the reader to pause and reflect about this important moment.

And we know that's what we want from the resolution to give readers a chance to reflect and think about what they've read.

The message of "The Man on the Moon" was to encourage people to be compassionate and to reach out to those in need and to make people feel not alone on special days like Christmas.

And that's simple sentence, "Finally, he had a friend." gives readers the chance to really think about that and to reflect.

So, it can be really poignant and effective to have these short, simple sentences amongst compound and complex sentences.

So, let's check for understanding.

Which of the following is a simple sentence.

A.

As he waved gratefully at Earth, his eyes lit up with joy.

B, he waved at Earth and his eyes lit up in happiness.

Or C, he waved gratefully at Earth.

Pause the video now.

That's correct, it is C.

A, is a complex sentence, 'cause we have our subordinate clause at the start, as he waived greatly.

And then B, is a compound sentence.

It has two main clauses.

Well done, everyone.

Okay, complex sentences.

A complex sentence is formed of a main clause stretched with a subordinate adverbial clause that starts with a subordinating conjunction.

So, you can see here we have our main clause, subordinating conjunction.

So, because, as, or when, and then our subordinate clause.

These form a complex sentence.

So, let's have a look at what these could look like in the resolution.

A main clause, her heart skipped a beat.

It makes sense by itself.

And then a subordinate clause or a subordinate adverbial clause.

As she waved ecstatically at the man.

The first idea can be stretched with the second idea to make one complex sentence.

Let's have a look.

She waved ecstatically at the man as her heart skipped a beat.

As is our subordinated conjunction.

So, we have a complex sentence here.

We do not need a comma in this complex sentence, because we started our complex sentence with the main clause.

The main clause came first.

So, we were stretching that idea so we don't need a comma.

Let's think about now saying another complex sentence, but with a bit more detail.

Ecstatically, the joyful girl waved enthusiastically at the man as her heart skipped a beat.

So, we have our fronted adverbial ecstatically, fronted adverbial of manner.

The joyful girl, we refer to the girl in a different way.

We do not have a comma before our subordinate proverbial clause.

And then, and her heart skipped a beat, some show and tell language.

So, another really ambitious complex sentence.

Let's check for understanding, true or false.

The comma is used accurately in this complex sentence.

As he zoomed in slowly through the telescope, he saw houses buzzing with excitement.

Is the comma used accurately, true or false? Pause the video now.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, if the adverbial clause the subordinate clause comes first in a complex sentence, you need a comma after it.

Or if the main clause comes first in a complex sentence, you need a comma after it.

Pause the video now.

That is A.

As he zoomed in slowly through the telescope, is your adverbial subordinate clause.

So you need a comma after it, because it comes before the main clause.

So we need to separate the main clause and the subordinate clause.

Well done, everyone.

Okay, it's time for Task A.

We are going to practise saying our sentences in a talk task, 'cause we know how important it is to hear if our sentences make sense.

So, using your plan, say the first part of the resolution of "The Man on the Moon".

You can say as many sentences as you like, but include the following.

A fronted adverbial, show and tell descriptive language, a simple, compound, or complex sentence.

So, pause the video now, and off you go.

Well done, everybody.

Welcome back.

I'm going to say my sentences now and I want you to help me check them.

Have I included a fronted adverbial? Have I included show and tell descriptive language? Have I included a simple sentence for effect? Have I included a compound or complex sentence? So, I'm gonna say my sentences and I need you to be checking if I've included all of these things.

From the vast Moon, the frail man zoomed in slowly through his telescope and he saw the town lit up with shimmering lights.

The colourful houses were buzzing with excitement.

Have I included a fronted adverbial? From the vast Moon.

Some show and tell descriptive language.

You could say that the houses were buzzing with excitement.

That's some show and tell descriptive language.

A simple sentence, that's my final sentence.

The colourful houses were buzzing with excitement.

Have I included a compound or complex? My first sentence is a compound sentence.

The frail man zoomed in slowly through his telescope and he saw the town lit up with shimmering lights.

So yes, I've included all of those things apart from a complex sentence, but I didn't need to do both in this talk task so that's okay.

Pause the video now if you want to have another go at saying your sentences out loud.

Otherwise, let's move on to this next section of our learning.

And really well done for everyone working so hard on Task A.

So, in the next section, we are gonna be writing our resolution.

This is your success criteria for today's lesson.

Let's go through it.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

I have written a range of sentence types.

So, simple, compound, and complex to improve text flow.

I've used ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell language, and I have written in the past tense.

You're gonna use the success criteria to help you writing your resolution.

So, I'm now going to show you how I used my success criteria to help me write the first two sentences of my resolution.

So, you can see I started by neatly sticking in my success criteria at the top of the page.

I'm just gonna go through it quickly to remind myself of everything I need to include.

I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

I have written a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex to improve text flow.

I have used ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell language, and I have written in the past tense.

So, I'm making sure I'm using my plan to help me here so I can use that to organise my ideas.

The first moment I want to describe is the man lifting his telescope and looking down at Earth.

So, I wanna set the scene for the reader and describe where this is happening.

It's happening on the Moon, isn't it? In that stark night sky.

So I think I'm gonna use the fronted adverbial from my plan amid the starry sky.

Now, it's the first word of our paragraph.

So, we need to leave an indent.

Every sentence starts with a capital letter.

Well done.

So, amid the starry sky.

And this is a fronted adverbial of place.

So, what punctuation do I need after it? That's right, I need a comma.

Well done.

So, amid the starry sky, he lifted his telescope.

He, I think I want to just refer to him in a different way.

I'm going to call him the frail man.

Frail is quite descriptive.

It's a precise adjective describing how he is old and quite weak and elderly.

The frail man lifted his telescope.

In fact, before I move on, I think we could have a adverb to go with lifted to be a bit more precise, because how did he lift it? Did he lift it really quickly and aggressively, because he was desperate to use it? Not really, he was really gentle with it, wasn't it, wasn't he? So, I think I might say the frail man lifted or gently lifted.

His precious, thinking about the spelling of precious here.

It's got that cious suffix.

His precious golden telescope.

Everybody, how do I finish a sentence? We need a full stop.

Well done.

Okay, I'm gonna read my sentence back to check It makes sense.

Amid the starry sky, the frail man gently lifted his precious golden telescope.

Oh, I've noticed something here.

I've got two adjectives before my noun.

What punctuation mark do I need to separate the two adjectives? That's right, we need a comma.

Well done.

Okay, now I want to describe about what he saw when he zoomed into Earth.

So, I'm going to use a subordinating conjunction as here.

As he zoomed into Earth, what did he see? So, as every sentence, so we know starting with a capital letter.

As he zooms into Earth.

Into Earth, and Earth needs that capital A, E, sorry, because it's a proper noun.

The name of the planet.

He saw houses.

What did those houses look like? Can you remember? They were covered on all those brightly coloured lights, weren't they? Instead of using brightly coloured, I'm gonna look at my plan and think about which adjective and see if we used any adjectives.

Yep, shimmering.

He saw houses covered in shimmering, that kind of means like glittering lights.

And who else did he see? It was Christmas day, wasn't it? And there was all those really happy families.

So, we could say and joyful, oops, sorry.

Joyful families buzzing with, and let me taking this from my plan, buzzing with excitement.

Describe and show how happy they were that it was Christmas day.

Okay, let's read this sentence back.

As he zooms into Earth, ooh, I wonder if anyone can spot that mistake.

And I only realised it when I was saying my sentence back out loud and I could hear it.

As he zooms into Earth, zooms, what tense do we need to be writing in? That's right, we need to be writing in past tense.

So, I'm gonna neatly cross out the S and correct it with ED, 'cause we're writing in the past tense, much better.

As he zoomed into Earth, he saw houses covered in shimmering lights and joyful families buzzing with excitement.

This is my subordinate clause, isn't it? As he zoomed into Earth, it doesn't make sense by itself.

So, I'm thinking about my common rule that I know.

And when the subordinate clause comes first in a complex sentence, we need a, comma.

Well done.

He saw houses covered in shimmering lights, and comma, and is that comma needed there? Do we need the comma before and in this clause? No, we don't.

So, I can neatly cross that out.

And joyful families buzzing with excitement.

I've just remembered a spelling rule that I've learned and I wonder if anyone else can spot the mistake that I've made.

And joyful families.

Family when it's in the singular ends in Y.

But what about when it's plural? Families, have a think.

How am I gonna spell families? That's right, I need to drop the Y, and add in IES.

And joyful families buzzing with excitement.

You can see there how important it is to go back and check my work, 'cause it doesn't matter at all that I made mistakes.

What's important is that I'm editing them when I check my work.

Okay, I'm gonna stop there, and let you get on with the rest of the resolution independently.

But before we do that, I'm just gonna see what I can tick off from my success criteria.

Have I written at least two fronted adverbials? I've got one, amid the starry sky.

So, I can't give a tick just yet, 'cause I've only got one, but I'm sure that, that can be added in later.

I've written a range of sentence types, simple, compound, and complex to improve text flow.

My first sentence has a fronted adverbial, and then it has a main clause.

So, it is a simple sentence.

And then my next sentence is a complex sentence.

So yes, I've got a range of sentence types so far.

Ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell language.

Starry, precious, gently lifted, frail, shimmering, joyful.

There's some ambitious vocabulary for my plan, and buzzing with excitement is some show and tell language.

And have I written in the past tense? I have.

I made sure I corrected myself when I wrote zooms to make it zoomed.

And now, the rest of it is all in the past tense.

So yes, I can give myself a tick.

Okay, it's time for Task B.

You are writing the resolution, so you need to use your success criteria to help you write the resolution.

Ensure you create text flow by using a range of sentence types and fronted adverbials.

So, you need to now pause the video, stick your success criteria neatly onto your page, and off you go.

Okay, welcome back, everybody.

You need to now read your writing back to check it makes sense and edit.

Edit any punctuation errors.

Don't worry if you've got any that's what editing is for.

And then you're gonna tick in each box when you've completed the success criteria.

Before that though, let's just go through my example of a resolution and see what we can tick off from the success criteria.

I'm going to read it out loud first and then we'll go and check to see what we can tick off.

From the vast Moon, the frail man lifted up his precious telescope and he's slowly zoomed into the colourful houses and shimmering lights.

From the warmth of her home, the bright-eyed girl was waving ecstatically at him and his heart skipped a beat.

Finally, he had a friend, a solitary tear rolled down his face as he waved gratefully at the distant Earth.

So, I have written at least two fronted adverbials.

We have from the vast Moon, from the warmth of her home, and finally, so I can give that a tick.

I've written a range of sentence types.

Our first sentence, my first sentence is a compound sentence.

Then finally, he had a friend, a simple sentence for effect.

And then my last sentence of the resolution is that complex sentence with the subordinating conjunction as, so yes.

I've used ambitious vocabulary, including show and tell language.

I've said, his heart skipped a beat.

And then described the solitary tear rolled down his face.

So yes, I can give that a tick.

And then have I written in past tense, zoomed, lifted, was waving, had, these are all verbs in the past tense, so yes.

Now, you can pause the video and go back and check through your resolution and see what you can tick off the success criteria.

Well done, everybody.

It's the end of the lesson.

So, here's a summary of everything we've learned.

The purpose of the resolution is to resolve the story and give the reader a chance to reflect.

Using a range of simple, compound, and complex sentences, and fronted adverbials improves text flow for the reader.

Saying sentences out loud before writing helps 'em to make sense.

And a short, simple sentence can be effective to improve text flow and allow the reader to pause and reflect.

Well done for working so hard today, everybody.

You've done a brilliant job.