Lesson video

Hi everybody, I'm Ms. Gardner.

Welcome to our next lesson in our unit, writing a non-chronological report about the Portia spider.

Thank you so much for joining in on this lesson today.

I, really, am looking forward to it, and I hope you are too.

So let's get started.

In today's lesson, we're going to be looking back at our first two sections that we've written on our non-chronological report, and we're going to be making some edits.

So your learning outcome today is, I can make purposeful edits to the first two sections of a non-chronological report about the Portia spider.

Let's have a look at our key vocabulary.

We'll do my turn, your turn.

Editing.

Punctuation.

Sentence structure.

Language.

Let's have a look at what these mean.

Editing is the process of improving writing to improve the text flow and overall quality of your writing.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure your sentences.

These include full stops, and commas, capital letters.

Sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning.

And written language is the use of specific words and phrases to convey a meaning.

And we're thinking about all these things when we're doing, completing a piece of writing.

And these are the elements of writing that we're going to be making some edits to today.

So there are three sections to today's learning.

In the first section, we're going to be editing punctuation errors.

In the second section, we're going to be editing sentence structure.

And then in the third and final section, we're going to be editing language choices.

And these are all edits that are going to be made within the first two sections of our non-chronological report.

So let's start with editing punctuation errors.

So what is editing? Editing is the process of making any changes needed to improve our writing.

When you edit, you decide what you'll want to change, but also what you want to keep the same 'cause you're really happy with it.

And even really successful writers need and want to edit their work.

Editing does not mean rewriting everything you've written all over again.

It is about making select corrections and improvements.

The job of an editor, so that's someone who's doing an editing, is to check for mistakes in punctuation, so full stops, commas, capital letters.

Make improvements to sentence structure.

And make improvements in language choices.

And this is really important when you're thinking about what text you are writing.

When we're writing a non-chronological report, our language is formal, so we need to make sure that all the language we've used is formal enough and that could be something we might need to edit.

And in this lesson, you are going to be the editors, which is really exciting.

So let's just check our understanding here.

Editing is the process of, A, rewriting a whole piece of text.

B, checking for punctuation errors.

C, making improvements to sentence structure, or D, writing the text again with better handwriting.

Pause the video here.

That's correct, it is B and C.

It's definitely not A, we don't need you to rewrite your whole text all over again.

And D, you might want to make some improvements to your handwriting, but that's not an essential part of the editing process.

Editing for punctuation errors means finding mistakes with capital letters, full stops, and commas.

Let's start by looking at capital letters.

So, there are some missing or incorrect capital letters in this sentence, read it along with me and I wonder if you can spot those mistakes.

The Portia spider is a minuscule creature that lives in rainforests all over the world.

That's right.

Every sentence needs to start with a capital letter.

So T, in the word the needs to have a capital letter, and lives doesn't need a capital letter because it's not the start of a sentence and lives isn't a proper noun, so it is an incorrect capital letter.

Let's have a look at what it looks like correctly.

The Portia spider is a minuscule creature that lives in rainforest all over the world.

Great, those edits have been made.

So let's check for understanding, what are two uses of capital letters? A, they are used at the end of sentences.

B, they are used to begin all nouns.

C, they are used at the beginning of sentences, or D, they're used to begin proper nouns.

Pause the video now.

It's correct, it is C and D.

Editing for punctuation errors means finding mistakes with capital letters, full stops, and commas.

So let's have a look at full stops.

In this, these sentences below, there are missing or incorrect full stops.

I'm going to read the sentences and I wonder if you can find what those errors are.

Interestingly, the Portia spider has eight eyes.

In addition, it can map its world in 3D.

Can you spot any missing or incorrect full stops, full stops, which shouldn't be there or are in the wrong place? Let's go through it.

So, Interestingly, the Portia spider has eight eyes, eyes is in purple because that is the last word of the sentence, so there needs to be a full stop after it.

In addition, it, that's not the end of a sentence, so that is an incorrect full stop.

And can map its world in three, that is the end of a sentence so you need a full stop.

So you can see the three errors in full stops there.

Let's rewrite it with the correct punctuation.

Interestingly, the Portia spider has eight eyes.

In addition, it can map its world in 3D.

Full stop at the end of each sentence.

Well done everyone.

So check for understanding here, true or false? Full stops are used at the beginning of a sentence.

Is that true or false? Pause the video here.

It is false, well done.

Can use A or B to justify your answer? A, the main purpose of a full stop is to mark the end of a sentence, or B, full stops can go anywhere in a sentence.

Pause the video here.

That is correct It is, a, the main job of a full stop is to mark the end of your sentence.

Well done.

So editing punctuation errors means finding mistakes with capital letters, full stops, and also commas.

In the sentence below, there are some missing commas.

Have a read and think about where those commas could go.

In addition, the Portia spider has brown, prickly fur to camouflage in its surroundings.

I'm going to put some words in purple to help you.

And think about what comma rules you know.

Let's go through this.

In addition, is a formal fronted adverbial, so you need to have a comma after it.

Brown, prickly fur is an expanded noun phrase, so you need to have a comma in between the two adjectives, brown and prickly to separate the two adjectives.

What's important to remember is only use a comma when you know a rule, when you've learned those rules before.

Let's check for understanding.

When a commas used? Tick two.

A, to mark the end of a sentence.

B, to denote a direct question.

C, after a fronted adverbial, or D to separate items in a list.

Pause the video now.

That is correct, it is C and D.

It's time for task A.

You'll edit punctuation errors in your introduction and section one of your non-chronological report.

You need to be checking for missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas.

So pause the video now and make edit your punctuation errors in these two sections.

Okay, welcome back.

In this task A, you need to read that, first of all, the introduction of your non-chronological report.

And then you're going to use this checklist to edit your work.

So, have you checked for missing or incorrectly used capital letters? Have you checked for missing or incorrectly used full stops? And have you checked for missing commas? So first, capital letters.

I can spot two mistakes I made with my capital letters, so I'm going to edit them.

The first was rainforests, it's not a proper noun, and it's not at the start of the sentence, so I'm going to replace the capital R with a lowercase r.

Read on to find out more, that's our final sentence, the first word of the sentence was read, it needed a capital letter, so I changed the lowercase r to a capital R.

I can now tick that off my checklist.

Now, we're going to check for missing or incorrectly used full stops.

I saw that my first sentence was missing a full stop, so I've added that in.

You can see the full stop in purple at the end of my first sentence, so I can now check, tick that off my checklist.

And finally, have I checked for missing commas? There were two comma errors I made, which I've had to fix.

The first, in between minuscule and poisonous, that is an expanded noun phrase, so it needs a comma.

And secondly, this report will inform you about the species' diet, appearance, and hunting, those are nouns in a list, so I needed a comma to separate diet, and appearance.

I can now tick that off my checklist.

I've checked for my incorrect or missing commas.

Okay now, we need to do the exact same thing, but with our first section of our non-chronological report on the appearance.

So I'm going to use read through the appearance section and I'm going to use the checklist to edit my work.

So firstly, have we checked for missing or incorrectly used capital letters? There were some mistakes there, I'm sure you might have seen those too, let's go through them.

Eight, did not need a capital letter, so I've, 'cause it's not a proper noun or the start of a sentence, so I've changed that E into a lowercase e.

And at the bottom of my section, I started a sentence with a formal, with a viewpoint fronted adverbial, interestingly, and I forgot my capital letter, so I changed that to capital I.

And then, however, a formal fronted adverbial at the start of my sentence also needed a capital letter, so I've made those changes.

I can check that off my, tick that off my checklist.

Secondly, have I checked for missing or incorrectly used full stops? I did have a missing full stop.

My first sentence was missing one, and my final sentence was missing one.

So I've edited those, and you can see them in purple in the section.

So I can check that off my checklist.

Finally, have you checked for missing or incorrectly used commas? I'm thinking about my comma rules.

I need commas in between adjectives and an expanded noun phrase.

And I need a comma after a formal fronted adverbial, so I've added them in there.

Amazingly, the intelligent arachnid has excellent vision, I needed a comma after amazingly.

And in the sentence after that, this unique creature has brown, prickly fur, brown and prickly need to be separated with a comma.

So you can see I've added that in.

So, I can check commas off my checklist.

Well done everyone, that was a lot to think about in those two sections, so, great job.

It's now time to move on to our second section where we will be editing sentence structure.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve our text flow.

So when editing, you should reread and say aloud each sentence to check it makes sense.

That's a really good way to hear if there's any missing words.

Check sentences are joined by an appropriate conjunction, so either a coordinating conjunction or a subordinating conjunction.

And check that you've included a variety of sentence types you want in your piece of writing to have a simple sentence, a compound sentence, a complex sentence, you don't want every sentence type to be the same.

So when editing it's a really good chance to vary those sentence types.

Let's check for understanding.

True or false.

When we edit sentence structure, we read each sentence aloud to check it makes sense, true or false? Pause the video here.

That is correct, it is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, we say sentences out loud to check for missing words and to check for sense.

B, once the sentence has been written, it cannot be changed.

Pause the video here.

Correct, it is, a.

That is a really useful way to help us edit.

We say our sentences out loud to check for missing words and to check for sense, to check the sentences make sense and sound right.

So, we are going to be now checking our sentence structures.

So we're going to use a checklist.

The first thing we need to do is reread each sentence to check it makes sense.

We need to make sure we've used a conjunction to join clauses.

And have we used a variety of sentence types? So I'm going to use this checklist now to help me make edits to my in section on the a Portia spider's appearance.

Appearance.

The Portia spider eight bulging eyes, it has superb vision.

Amazingly, the intelligent arachnid has excellent vision, it has specially-adapted eyes that can see in 3D.

This unique creature has brown, prickly fur that allows to camouflage in its natural surroundings.

So just by saying those sentences out loud, I could hear some mistakes.

The first mistakes I spotted was some missing words.

In the first sentence, there was a missing word, has, the Portia spider has eight bulging eyes.

And then in the final sentence there was a missing subject, it.

This unique creature has brown, prickly fur that allows it to camouflage, not allows to camouflage.

So I can check the first point off my checklist.

Secondly, have I used a conjunction to join two clauses? There were two main clauses on my first sentence, the Portia spider has eight bulging eyes, it has superb vision.

I need to add in a conjunction.

So I'm going to add in the coordinating conjunction, and.

In my second sentence, amazingly, the intelligent arachnoid has excellent vision, I need to use the subordinating conjunction, because, to complete that sentence.

It has a excellent vision because it has specially-adapted eyes that can see in 3D.

So that's a main clause and a subordinate clause.

So I can check that now off my checklist.

Have I used a variety of sentence types? Well now I've added in my conjunctions, I definitely have.

I've got a compound sentence at the beginning using the coordinating conjunction, and, and I have a complex sentence using the subordinating conjunction, because, so yes, I've got a variety of sentence types.

Let's check for understanding.

How do you form a compound sentence? A, join two main clauses with any conjunction.

B, join two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction.

C, join two main clauses by removing a full stop, or D, write two separate main clauses.

Pause the video here.

Correct, B.

When joining two main clauses in a compound sentence you need a coordinating conjunction.

It's now time for task B.

Just like before, you're going to be making edits to your introduction and your first section on the Portia spider's appearance.

First, you need to read the introduction of your non-chronological report about the Portia spider.

When editing sentence structure, you should reread each sentence to check it makes sense.

Check sentences are joined by an appropriate conjunction.

And check that you've included a variety of sentence types.

So this is your checklist when you're making edits to sentence structure.

So pause the video now, and off you go, editing sentence structure.

Okay, well done everyone.

Let's go through making editing sentence structure choices in our introduction.

I'm going to use the checklist to help me.

I'm going to read the introduction out loud first, and think about those parts of my checklist.

Introduction.

The Portia spider is a minuscule, poisonous creature, it lives in rainforests all over the world.

This report will inform you the species' diet, appearance, and hunting strategies.

Read on to find out more about fascinating arachnid.

So just by saying these sentences out loud, I could hear some missing words.

So I'm going to add them in now.

This report will inform you about the species' diet, appearance, and hunting strategies, and read on to find out more about this.

So about and this were missing words.

So I can check the first point of my checklist.

I have checked to says, checked for sense, and I could spot some missing words.

Now, there were some missing conjunctions or there was a missing conjunction in my first sentence.

The Portia spider is a minuscule, poisonous creature, it lives in in rainforest all over the world, I need a conjunction in between those main clauses.

So I'm going to add the conjunction, and.

Now I can check that, take that off my checklist.

Have I used a variety of sentence types? Well now, I have added in my coordinating conjunction, I have a compound sentence, and my final sentence is a simple sentence.

So I have two sentence types in my introduction, so I can tick that off my checklist.

Well done everyone.

I wonder if you've made some similar edits to your sentence structure.

Now, it's time to read the first section on the appearance.

And we are going to use the checklist to edit the sentence structure.

Appearance.

The Portia spider has eight bulging eyes and it has superb vision.

Amazingly, the intelligent arachnid excellent vision, it has specially-adapted eyes that can see in 3D.

This unique creature has brown, prickly fur that allows it to camouflage in its natural surroundings.

In addition, their colour helps them to hide from their prey before they attack.

Interestingly, the distinctive spider has two venomous fangs are used to kill their prey.

However, these fangs are not dangerous enough humans.

So just reading that loud, I can see, hear that there are definitely some missing words.

So I'm going to show you which words I added in.

Amazingly, the intelligent arachnid, has, I need the verb has excellent vision.

And then in my final sentence, however, these fangs are not dangerous enough to poison humans.

Again, I needed the verb.

So I've added those words in and I can tick the first point off my checklist.

Secondly, I needed to check for any missing conjunctions.

In my second sentence, amazingly, the intelligent arachnid has excellent vision because, I needed that subordinating conjunction, because.

I also needed to add the coordinating conjunction lower down.

Interestingly the distinctive spider has two venomous fangs, and these are used to kill their prey, had to separate the two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction.

So I can tick that off my checklist.

And now, because I've added in those conjunctions, I have used a variety of sentence types.

I have a subordinate, I have a complex sentence, I have a compound sentence, and I have a simple sentence.

All of those are in green, so I can tick that off my checklist.

Well done everybody.

Lots to think about when editing sentence structure, so you've all done really, really well.

It's now time to edit language, the final section of our editing lesson.

When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

Editing word choices can have a significant impact on writing by improving clarity, so making things more clear the tone and effectiveness, so how effective it is in conveying meaning to the reader.

When editing language choices make sure you check that language choices are ambitious, it's 'cause we want to engage our reader and make them really interested in what you're writing about.

And choose language that matches the text type.

We're writing a non-chronological report, so our language needs to be formal.

So let's check for understanding.

True or false? When editing language for a non-chronological report, you change some of the words and phrases.

Pause the video here.

That is true.

Can you use A or B to justify your answer? A, when we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

B, when we edit language, we make changes to punctuation.

Pause the video here Correct, it is, a.

When we're editing language choices, we're making changes to the words and the phrase, not the punctuation.

Our checklist for when we're editing language.

Firstly, have you used ambitious language choice to engage the reader? And secondly, have you checked that the language matches the text type? Appearance.

The Portia spider has eight eyes and it has cool vision.

The arachnid has excellent vision because it has specially-adapted eye that can see in 3D.

This creature has fur that allows it to camouflage in its natural surroundings.

So thinking about the first point, have I used ambitious language choices to engage the reader? I'm going to add in some adjectives, I think.

The intelligent arachnid rather than just arachnid, is a really purposeful adjective choice, and it helps the reader understand just how skilled and intelligent the Portia spider is.

And then I've added in an expanded noun phrase, describe the fur.

This creature has brown, prickly fur.

It's just adding a bit more description so the reader can imagine, has a better picture of the Portia spider in its mind.

So I can take that point off my checklist.

Secondly, have I checked the language matches the text type? We know a non-chronological report needs to be formal, so maybe using the word cool isn't formal enough, so I'm going to change cool to superb.

I also know that in a non-chronological report, we want to use formal fronted adverbials, so I've added amazingly into my final sentence because that is a feature of a non-chronological report, a language choice that we would use.

So now, I can check that off my checklist.

It's now time for task C.

You need to read back your introduction and section one of your non chronological report and make edits to language choices.

When doing this, you need to think about that the language is ambitious to engage your reader.

And that it matches the text type, so it is vocabulary suitable for a non-chronological report.

Pause the video now and make edits to your language choices.

Let's go through our introduction, and let's think first about the ambitious language choices.

I know I wanted to add in actually some expanded noun, an expanded noun phrase.

So I've added the adjectives unique and minuscule before creature, so I can tick that off my checklist.

Is it formal enough? Is the language formal enough for a non-chronological report? If you want to know more, not very formal.

So I've changed that to read on to find out more about this fascinating arachnid, and I can tick that off my checklist.

Now, the first section on the appearance, have I made ambitious language choices or can I improve that? I wanted to add an extra adjective in to describe the eyes, so after eight I've added bulging.

I've also changed awesome to being specially-adapted, which is more precise and more precise adjective choice, so I can take that off my checklist.

Does my language match the text type? Well, I started two sentences with and, and but, so I wanted to change that to, and replace it with a formal fronted adverbial.

So and became in addition, and but became however.

These are more appropriate for formal pieces of writing like a non-chronological report.

So I can tick that off my checklist.

Well done everybody.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing.

The job of an editor is to check punctuation and to make improvements to sentence structure and language choices.

When editing punctuation missing or incorrectly used capital letters, full stops, and commas are checked.

When editing sentence structure, changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow are made.

And when editing language reviews of word and phrase choices are made to ensure appropriate tone is achieved.

Well done everybody.