Lesson video

Hi, everyone.

It's me, Ms. Webster, with you for our next lesson in the Robin's Journey unit.

This is a really exciting one because we get to write the build up of the story today.

So I hope you're feeling ready and confident, and I think we should get started.

In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or something else to write with, you'll need your brain and you will absolutely definitely need your plan that we did in the last lesson.

So if you haven't got everything you need, pause the video, go and collect them, and I'll see you when you're ready.

We'll do a writing warmer.

Then we will order the build up.

Then we will write each part of the build up in short sections.

And then we will read back our whole paragraph.

Let's see what our writing warm up is.

Using appropriate time conjunctions.

Time conjunctions tell the reader when something happened.

Let's look at this example.

In the blink of an eye, the ravenous bird of prey swooped towards the unsuspecting robin.

What's the time conjunction in that sentence? Tell me.

Yeah, in the blink of an eye.

Can you blink your eyes at me? Is that a quick movement or a slow movement? It's a very quick movement, isn't it? So that tells the reader that he really quickly swooped down towards the poor little unsuspecting robin.

And there's a picture of what I think he might have looked like swooping down with his talons ready to grab the little robin.

So you've got a task now.

You can quickly draw out a table that has fast paced and slow paced at the top.

And you can do that in a minute 'cause I'm going to share some time conjunctions with you that you need to sort out into the correct columns.

Instantly.

Minutes turned into hours.

Eventually.

As quick as a flash.

Moments later.

A long while later.

Okay, you've got six time conjunctions on the screen.

Three are fast paced and three are slow paced.

So you need to sketch out the table, doesn't have to be a beautiful table, sketch it out and write down the correct time conjunctions in each column.

Pause the video and play it when you've done it.

Let's check.

What was one of your fast paced time conjunctions? Tell me.

See if it's on this list.

Instantly.

As quick as a flash.

And moments later.

Did you get those ? Well done.

So those time conjunctions can be used when we want to show that a character does something quickly, fast paced.

So the slow paced ones, when we want a character to do something slowly, we could use these ones.

Minutes turned into hours.

A long while later.

And eventually.

Great job on our writing warm up.

We're going to recap on the story and we will order the build up.

Let's remind ourselves of what happens in the story.

The robin set off on his journey from Scandinavia in the opening.

In the build up, he narrowly misses being caught by another bigger bird.

In the climax, he flew over a stormy sea and was really badly hurt.

But in the ending, he was at last reunited with his friend when he returned home.

We've already planned and written the opening.

We have planned the build up and you can see that we're writing the build up today.

What is important to include in the build up? What kinds of things do we need to include in our build up? Have some thinking time and see if anything that you can think of is on the screen now.

So it's important to include a change of pace or feeling.

So changing what the character's doing and what the character is feeling.

We might introduce a new character and it kind of builds up to what happens in the climax.

So it sets the tone for what's about to happen in the climates.

We're going to watch the build up again.

You need your plan right next to you in case you want to write down any more ideas or vocabulary that you think about as we're watching the clip.

So should we watch? Off we go.

Let's recap on the order of the build up.

What is the first thing that happened? He got caught in the rain.

The second thing that happened, he took shelter.

And the third thing that happened, tell me.

Yeah, a hawk tried to catch him.

What writing skills should we use today? What writing skills do you want to show off? Have some thinking time, think about four things that you want to do today in your writing.

Should I show you what I think we should do? I think we should think, say, write, read every sentence, just like we did when we wrote the opening.

We need to choose precise adjectives and precise verbs and adverbs, which means choosing the best possible word to fit the purpose of the sentence.

And as an extra skill, we're going to use appropriate time conjunctions to show when something happened.

And you absolutely need your plan right next to you.

So in a moment, I'm going to do some writing and I'm just going to really quickly look at my plan and check all the amazing words that we planned last lesson so that I can remember to use them.

So having a look at your plan now as well.

Okay.

So it's going to be my tend to write my sentences for the first bit where the robin got caught in the rain, and then it will be your turn.

So I just want you to follow along and listen and watch really carefully.

I'm going to start off with a time conjunction to show my reader how long he'd been flying for.

So I can just see my plan I've got days later, after several days.

Think I'm going to use that one.

So thinking of my sentence.

After several days of flying, the robin encountered terrible weather conditions.

Encountered means met or experienced.

I think I need an objective to describe my robin.

If he's been flying for several days, I think he's going to be quite tired.

So I'm going to use weary, which is a synonym for tired.

After several days of flying, the weary robin encountered terrible weather conditions.

After several days of flying.

And I need a comma after my time conjunction.

The weary robin encountered terrible weather conditions, which means that he encountered that really torrential rain.

Reading it back now.

After several days of flying, the weary robin encountered terrible weather conditions.

But because he was so tired, he had to stop and rest, didn't he? So despite the torrential rain, and I can see the word torrential on my plan, despite the torrential rain, he had to stop and rest.

Despite the torrential.

Check my plan for that spelling.

Torrential.

T-I-A-L.

Torrential rain.

He had to stop and rest.

And my final sentence is going to do some show not tell about how he felt.

Remember he felt pretty miserable and I think I've got some good show not tells for that.

As he clung to a branch, he hugged his aching wings around his soaking wet body.

As he clung, showing how tightly he's clinging on to that branch.

As he clung to a branch, he hugged his aching wings, aching because he's been flying for so long, around his soaking wet body.

I'm going to read that back.

As he clung to a branch, he hugged his aching wings around his soaking wet body.

So I've used think, say, write, read for every sentence.

I've chosen precise adjectives, for example, torrential, to describe the rain.

I've used precise verbs and adverbs, for example, clung to a branch.

And I've used time conjunctions.

Can you see one? Yeah, after several days of flying, that's my time conjunction.

Okay, it's going to be your turn in a moment to write your sentences for the first part.

Here is a reminder of our skills to be successful.

You need to think, say, write, read every sentence and you would have seen me do that when I did my writing a moment ago.

Make sure you're choosing precise adjectives and verbs and adverbs.

And make sure you think really carefully about choosing appropriate time conjunctions.

I'd like you to pause the video, take a few minutes or a bit longer, that's fine, to write your first few sentences for the build up.

Pause the video and play it when you've done it.

Let's look at the second key moments in our build up, which is where the robin took shelter.

Can see some great ideas on my plan.

So have a look at your plan now.

Familiarise yourself with what you wrote, your amazing ideas.

And it's going to be my turn to write my sentences.

So you just need to follow along again and watch really carefully.

The next parts of our build up is where he takes shelter.

So he had no choice but to look for shelter.

I think that's a good way to start off this section of my build up.

He had no choice but to look for shelter.

He had no choice but to look for shelter.

And what did he see nearby? He saw a nearby tunnel or a burrow.

How did he feel? I can see a word on my plan that will help me.

He felt relieved.

Let's start my sentence with that.

Relieved, he spotted a nearby burrow and flew in gratefully.

Relieved, comma after my objective that starts my sentence, he spotted a nearby burrow and flew in gratefully.

Oh, thank goodness.

There's somewhere that I can take shelter from the rain from.

But what happened next? Oh yeah, he saw the weasels, didn't he? So I could say, however he instantly sensed he was not alone.

However, he instantly sensed he was not alone.

And so I think I need to use an as complex sentence to talk about what he did when he heard those loud squeals and the sounds of the scratching claws.

So I could say, as he heard a loud squeal and the sound of scratching claws, he swiftly flew.

He swiftly flew? We already used the word flew.

So I think I could say he swiftly made his exit.

As he heard the sound.

As he heard a loud squeal and the sound of scratching claws, he swiftly made his exit.

I'm going to read that sentence back.

As he heard a loud squeal and the sound of scratching claws, he swiftly made his exit.

Again, I've used think, say, write, read for every sentence.

I've chosen precise adjectives, and I've also chosen precise verbs and adverbs.

What's my time conjunction in that in these few sentences? I can see one in the second sentence.

He instantly sensed.

That means he very, very quickly sensed that he wasn't alone.

In a moment, it will be your turn to write your sentences for this part.

Well done for following along.

Here's a reminder of our skills to be successful.

So look at the screen, check really carefully.

Check that you've got your plan right next to you.

Do you feel ready to write? I hope you do.

You need to pause the video now and take a few minutes or a bit longer to write your sentences for part two, and then play the video when you've done that.

And I'll see you when you're finished.

Let's move on to the final part of our build up, where the hawk tried to catch him.

Take a minute now to look at the plan on the screen.

Take a minute to look at the plan in front of you, your own plan with your ideas.

Got some really good vocabulary there, haven't we? So for the last time in this lesson, you're going to watch and listen to me do my writing, and then it will be your turn.

He's now out in the open and being watched by the hawk, isn't he? I think I'm going to start my sentence off with, whilst he decided what to do.

What else is happening? Oh yeah, I can see the word surveyed, hawk.

Okay, so whilst he decided what to do, he was being surveyed from above by a ravenous hawk.

Whilst he decided what to do, he was being surveyed, which means watched very closely, from above by a ravenous hawk.

Ravenous hawk.

That means a very, very hungry hawk, doesn't it? So what do I need to talk about next? I think I need to talk about how quickly the hawk moved down towards him.

So I need a quick time conjunction.

A quick time conjunction.

I can think of as quick as a flash.

As quick as a flash, the bird of prey swooped towards the unsuspecting robin.

As quick as a flash, comma after my time conjunction, the bird of prey, which is another way of referring to the hawk, so that I don't repeat myself, swooped, what a great choice of verb I've got from my plan, swooped towards the unsuspecting robin.

That means the robin who wasn't looking at what was happening.

He wasn't aware.

But, next thing, the robin had to very quickly fly off, didn't he? So that he didn't get caught.

So again, I'm going to use a really quick time conjunction.

Without a second to spare.

I can see something similar on my plan and I'm going to use it like this.

Without a second to spare, the agile little bird ducked out of the way of the hawk's sharp talons and flew off.

Without a second to spare.

What do we need after a time conjunction? Tell me.

Right, a comma.

The agile little bird ducked out of the way of the hawk's sharp talons and flew off.

I'm going to read that back.

Without a second to spare, the agile little bird ducked out of the way of the hawk's sharp talons and flew off.

Is there a piece of punctuation missing there? Do you remember when we did that writing warm up about apostrophes? Ah, because the sharp talons belong to the hawk.

So I need to put my apostrophe in.

Okay.

And then the last sentence is just going to be about what he knew he had to do.

He knew he had to continue on his journey.

He knew he had to continue on his journey.

Reading that last sentence back.

He knew he had to continue on his journey.

So I finished my writing for the build up and it will be your turn to finish your build up in a moment.

Here's the reminder of our skills to be successful.

There's the reminder to have your plan right next to you.

I'd like you to pause the video and write your sentences for the final part of the build up.

Play the video when you've finished.

Really, really great job.

You've written a whole paragraph for the build up.

That is absolutely fantastic.

So the last bit of our lesson is going to focus on reading back our writing.

I would like to read you my writing.

I know I read it when I was writing my sentences, but I'd like to share the whole paragraph with you.

So just follow along and listen carefully.

After several days of flying, the weary robin encountered terrible weather conditions.

Despite the torrential rain, he had to stop and rest.

As he clung to a branch, he hugged his aching wings around his soaking wet body.

He had no choice but to look for shelter.

Relieved, he spotted a nearby burrow and flew in gratefully.

However, he instantly sensed he was not alone.

As he heard a loud squeal and the sound of scratching claws, he swiftly made his exit.

Whilst he decided what to do, he was being surveyed from above by a ravenous hawk.

As quick as a flash, the bird of prey swooped towards the unsuspecting robin.

Without a second to spare, the agile little bird ducked out of the way of the hawk's sharp talons and flew off.

He knew he had to continue on his journey.

Your turn to read a whole paragraph back.

And here are the questions that you need to think about whilst you're reading.

Can you get a sense of what it's like to be the reader? How does your reader feel when they read your writing back? Is there a vivid picture in your mind? And that will help you think about being the reader as well.

Can you really clearly imagine what's happening? How do you feel when you read your writing back, as a reader but also as the writer? And I hope one of those feelings is pride.

I hope you feel proud of yourself when you read your writing back.

And then think about this question.

What happens next in the story? Pause the video now, read your whole paragraph back and I'll see you when you've done that.

You have worked so hard today.

You've written the next paragraph in the story.

Really well done.

You did a great job in the writing warm up.

Then we ordered the build up.

Then we wrote it in small parts.

And then we read back our writing.

It would be so fantastic, if you can, to ask your parent or carer to share your writing on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter by tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak.

And I'm going to look out for your writing on any of those platforms. So I hope you have a lovely rest of your day and I'll see you soon.