Lesson video

Hi everyone.

My name is Miss.

Voyle and welcome to today's lesson where you are going to be writing paragraph two of the buildup of "A Christmas Carol." During this lesson, you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to and you'll need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for writing.

You have already planned paragraph two of the buildup, so you need to make sure you have your notes from your plan with you to support you when writing.

Pause the video and get your plan now.

Great.

Now I know you have your plan with you.

I hope you are feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is I can write the second paragraph of the buildup of "A Christmas Carol." Here are the key words for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

Suspense.

Fronted adverbial.

Reported speech.

Great job.

Well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

Suspense is a state of feeling excited or anxious uncertainty about what may happen.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

And reported speech is the form of speech used to share what was said by someone without using a direct quote.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write and in the second part you will be writing paragraph two.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

In this lesson, you are going to be writing the buildup.

The buildup will be written in two paragraphs.

You have already written the opening and you have already written paragraph one of the buildup.

In this lesson, you will be writing paragraph two.

Paragraph two of the buildup will focus on the following.

The sound of bells ringing fills the house and Scrooge's nervousness shifts to fear and panic.

Then the ghost of his former business partner, Jacob Marley, appears.

Marley warns Scrooge of his selfish cruel ways and informs him that he will be visited by three ghosts, the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

You will need to heighten the suspense in paragraph two leading up to the appearance of Marley's ghost.

Paragraph two of the buildup needs to include the following linguistic features, precise vocabulary that heightens the suspense.

This should include descriptive, sensory details and show and tell for Scrooge's emotions.

A range of sentence types and structures.

This should include simple, compound, and complex sentences as well as fronted adverbials to add detail.

And you will also need to include reported speech for the ghost of Marley.

Linguistic features are types of words and language that a writer chooses carefully.

We can use the notes from your plan to form full sentences.

Here is an example of the notes for paragraph two from our plan.

These notes contain sensory details and show and tell ideas.

Sharp tolling of bells which grew louder is a great example of sensory details.

Heart pounded, breath became rapid is a great example of show and tell for Scrooge's emotions.

The following model contains a range of fronted adverbials.

Listen carefully and I will read this to you.

Hauntingly, the sharp ringing of bells filled the house.

As the air grew colder, Scrooge's heart pounded against his chest.

Just then, particles of mist rose from the aged floorboards and submerged to form a ghostly shape.

In the centre of the icy room, the spectre of Jacob Marley emerged.

Scrooge trembled at the sight of his deceased business partner.

A fronted adverbial is used as a sentence starter to begin many of these sentences.

Can you spot them? Pause the video and have a look now.

Hopefully you spotted hauntingly.

Just then.

In the centre of the icy room.

These are all examples of fronted adverbials, which add greater detail to the clause that follows.

Let's check your understanding.

What is a fronted adverbial? A, a group of words that contains a verb.

B, a sentence starter followed by a comma.

C, a word that joins words, phrases, or clauses.

Pause the video and select the correct answer now.

The answer is B, well done.

A fronted adverbial is a sentence starter followed by a comma.

Fronted adverbials provide greater detail about the main clause that follows and they support text cohesion.

There are different types of fronted adverbials that we can use.

Fronted adverbials of time let the reader know when something happened.

Some examples are suddenly, in the middle of night, just at that moment.

Fronted adverbials of place let the reader know where something happened.

Some examples are out of the floorboards, in the darkest corner of the room.

And fronted adverbials of manner let the reader know how something happened.

Some examples are hauntingly, fearfully, sternly.

Fronted adverbials of manner tell the reader how something happened.

They are particularly helpful for conveying a character's emotions which helps to build suspense.

Let's take a look at some examples of fronted adverbials of manner and their meaning.

Hauntingly.

This means in a way that will not be easily forgotten.

Fearfully.

This means in a way that shows fear.

And sternly.

This means in a serious and severe manner, asserting authority.

Let's check your understanding.

Match the fronted adverbial of manner to the appropriate main clause.

The fronted adverbials of manner are A, hauntingly, B, fearfully, C, sternly.

The main clauses are Scrooge froze and became speechless.

Marley scolded Scrooge for his cruel and unkind demeanour.

A ghostly figure emerged from the darkest corner of the room.

Pause the video and match the fronted adverbial of manner to the appropriate main clause now.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

For A, hauntingly, a ghostly figure emerged from the darkest corner of the room.

This means that this happened in a way that would not be easily forgotten.

For B, fearfully, Scrooge froze and became speechless.

This means that Scrooge did this in a way that showed fear.

And for C, sternly, Marley scolded Scrooge for his cruel and unkind demeanour.

This means that Marley spoke to Scrooge in a severe and serious manner.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of these different fronted adverbials of manner.

In paragraph two, Marley conveys important messages to Scrooge.

What are Marley's key messages? Let's take a look.

He says that Scrooge's behaviour is cruel and selfish.

He tells Scrooge that he will be visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come.

And he says that Scrooge should take these visits seriously and learn important lessons from them.

You will write Marley's words as reported speech.

Let's learn a little bit more about reported speech.

Reported speech is the form of speech used to share what was said by someone without using a direct quote.

Here are some examples.

Marley harshly reprimanded Scrooge for his cold and cruel treatment of others and warned him of the consequences of his actions.

Marley informed Scrooge of the visits that he would be paid by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

Marley impressed upon Scrooge the importance of the lessons he would learn from the ghostly visits.

You will notice that these sentences do not use the simple phrases, Marley told Scrooge or Marley said to Scrooge.

Instead, I have used a range of verbs to report how Marley spoke to Scrooge.

Using a range of verbs and adverbs when writing reported speech provides the reader with greater detail about how the character spoke.

Let's check your understanding.

True or false.

When writing reported speech for Marley, I should always use the phrase, "Marley told Scrooge." Pause the video and select your answer.

That is false.

Well done.

Now it's time to justify your answer.

A, I should include an adverb too or B, I should use a range of verbs and adverbs to describe how Marley conveyed his messages to Scrooge.

Pause the video and select the correct justification.

The answer is B, well done.

You should use a range of verbs and adverbs to describe how Marley conveyed his messages to Scrooge.

It's now time for your first task and it is a talk task.

Say the first few sentences of paragraph two of the buildup.

Make sure you include the following, precise and descriptive vocabulary that heightens the suspense.

A range of fronted adverbials, time, place, and manner, and a piece of reported speech from Jacob Marley.

Here are some starting sentences to support you.

Your first sentence could begin with a fronted, adverbial to add detail to the main clause, the piercing sound of ringing bells struck the troubled home.

This heightens the suspense.

Your next sentence could begin, Scrooge's, and you could complete this sentence with a piece of show and tell.

To convey Scrooge's heightened emotions.

Pause the video and orally rehearse the first few sentences of paragraph two of the buildup now.

Welcome back.

It was so lovely listening to you rehearse your sentences.

You did a great job at including all of the appropriate linguistic features.

Let's take a look at a good example together now.

On the strike of midnight, Scrooge's troubled home became filled with the sharp tolling of bells.

Scrooge's heart raced as he frantically scanned the room for a sign of what was happening.

Out of the aged floorboards, mist rose and formed a ghostly figure.

It was Jacob Marley.

Sternly, he spoke.

Marley harshly reprimanded Scrooge for his cruel and unkind treatment of others and he warned him of the consequences.

Let's take a look at how this example includes the linguistic features we have been learning about.

So for precise and descriptive vocabulary that heightens the suspense, we can see really precise description of the atmosphere.

We have troubled home, sharp tolling of bells, aged floorboards, ghostly figure.

For a range of fronted adverbials, time, place, and manner.

The first sentence begins with a fronted adverbial of time, on the strike of midnight.

A little bit further down we can see a sentence that begins with a fronted adverbial of place, out of the aged floorboards.

And then we can also see a short sentence that begins with a fronted adverbial of manner.

Sternly, he spoke.

And for a piece of reported speech from Jacob Marley, we can see the last sentence says, Marley harshly reprimanded Scrooge for his cruel and unkind treatment of others and he warned him of the consequences.

You will also notice that this piece of reported speech has used a precise verb and adverb to describe how Marley conveyed his message to Scrooge.

Harshly reprimanded.

Well done again for rehearsing your sentences for paragraph two.

I am sure you are feeling really excited and ready to begin your writing.

It's now time for the second and most exciting part of the lesson where you are going to be writing paragraph two of the buildup.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately and read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

Listen carefully.

I will read it to you.

I have used sensory details and show and tell to heighten the suspense in the buildup.

I have used a range of fronted adverbials in my sentences to add detail to the main clause and I have used reported speech to convey the key messages Marley gives Scrooge.

You will use the notes from your plan to support you in your writing today.

Pause the video and make sure you have your notes for paragraph two with you now.

Great.

Now I know you have your notes with you.

I am going to share a model of the beginning of paragraph two of the buildup with you, and then I am going to need your help checking my writing against the success criteria.

Listen carefully.

Suddenly the sharp tolling of bells descended upon the troubled home.

Scrooge's pulse raced and he struggled to breathe.

Out of the mist-covered floorboards, the chilling ghost of Jacob Marley rose.

Sternly, he scolded Scrooge for his cruel and selfish ways.

Can you now check my writing against the success criteria and see if you can spot where I've met each point.

Pause the video and discuss with your partner.

You were so great at spotting where I had used the linguistic features in the success criteria.

Let's go over this together now.

For I have used sensory details and show and tell to heighten the suspense in the buildup.

We can see the sharp tolling of bells descended upon the troubled home.

A bit further down we can see out of the mist-covered floorboards, the chilling Ghost of Jacob Marley rose.

Those are great examples of sensory details.

For show and tell, we have the sentence, Scrooge's pulse raced and he struggled to breathe.

So we can definitely tick that first point.

For I have used a range of fronted adverbials in my sentences to add detail to the main clause.

The first sentence begins with a fronted adverbial of time, suddenly.

A bit further down we have a sentence that begins with a fronted adverbial of place, out of the mist-covered floorboards.

And the last sentence begins with a fronted adverbial of manner, sternly, so we can tick that.

And for the last point on the success criteria, I have used reported speech to convey the key messages Marley gives Scrooge.

The last sentence in this model says, sternly, he scolded Scrooge for his cruel and selfish ways.

So we can tick that.

It's now time for you to do your writing.

Use your plan and the success criteria to write paragraph two of the buildup.

I will read the success criteria to you one more time.

I have used sensory details and show and tell to heighten the suspense in the buildup.

I have used a range of fronted adverbials in my sentences to add detail to the main clause.

And I have used reported speech to convey the key messages Marley gives Scrooge.

Pause the video and write paragraph two of the buildup of "A Christmas Carol" now.

Welcome back.

Well done for working so hard on writing paragraph two of the buildup.

It's now time for you to read your writing back, to check it makes sense and edit any punctuation errors.

You should then check your writing against the success criteria and tick each box when you are sure you have met each point.

Pause the video and do this now.

Well done for reading over your writing, reflecting, and making any necessary edits and improvements.

I am sure you did a great job at meeting the success criteria.

Let's now take a look at a good example of paragraph two of the buildup together.

All of a sudden, the sharp tolling of bells began to ring and they grew louder with each second.

Scrooge's heart pounded in his chest and his breath became shallow and rapid.

As the air grew colder, a spectral figure appeared.

It was the ghost of his deceased business partner Jacob Marley, who was draped in heavy chains.

Sternly, Marley worn Scrooge of the consequences of his selfish and heartless ways.

In the corner of the room, the shamed old miser crouched and trembled with terror.

Scrooge listened fearfully as Marley informed him of the visits he would be paid by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come.

When Marley vanished, Scrooge was left shaken and consumed by dread for the hard lessons he would have to face.

Let's now check this writing against the success criteria.

For sensory details and show and tell to heighten suspense, we can see the sharp tolling of bells began to ring and they grew louder with each second.

That's a great sensory detail that lets the reader know what it sounded like.

And as the air grew colder, that lets the reader know what it felt like there.

And for show and tell, we can see, heart pounded in his chest and his breath became shallow and rapid.

Crouched and trembled with terror, was left shaken and consumed by dread.

So we can definitely tick that first point on the success criteria.

And for a range of fronted adverbials.

Let's take a look.

The first sentence begins with a fronted adverbial of time, all of a sudden.

Further down, we can see a fronted adverbial of manner, sternly, and we can also see a fronted adverbial of place, in the corner of the room.

So we can tick that point.

And for reported speech to convey key messages Marley gives Scrooge.

We can see, sternly Marley warned Scrooge of the consequences of his selfish and heartless ways.

And, Scrooge listened fearfully as Marley informed him of the visits he would be paid by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet To Come.

So we can take that last point on the success criteria.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

The second paragraph of the buildup heightens the suspense and reveals the ghost of Jacob Marley.

Precise vocabulary is used to describe sensory details and show and tell conveys Scrooge's emotions.

Fronted adverbials of time, place, and manner add greater detail to the main clause and support in building suspense.

Marley informs Scrooge of the visits he will be paid by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future, and reported speech is used to share the important messages Marley conveys without quoting him directly.

Well done for all of your hard work writing paragraph two and completing the buildup of your narrative based on "A Christmas Carol." I have really enjoyed teaching you.