Lesson video

Hi, everyone.

My name is Ms. Voyle, and welcome to this lesson where you are going to be writing the opening of "A Christmas Carol." During this lesson you'll need to be listening and looking carefully.

There'll be tasks where you need somebody to talk to and you'll need a piece of paper and pen or pencil for writing your opening.

You will also need the plan that you have already created for this writing lesson.

Pause the video and make sure you have the notes from your plan with you now.

Great.

Now, I know you have your plan with you.

I hope you're feeling excited and ready to learn.

Let's get started.

The learning outcome for today's lesson is I can write a narrative opening based on "A Christmas Carol." Here are the keywords for today's lesson.

Let's practise saying them.

My turn, your turn.

Contrast.

Show and tell.

Direct speech.

Text flow.

Relative complex sentence.

Great job.

Well done.

Let's take a look at their definitions.

Contrast is the comparison of two or more elements that are strikingly different.

Show and tell is a writing technique for showing a character's feelings with description of their actions and expressions.

Direct speech is the term used for a character speaking out loud in a text.

Text flow is how a text is written to keep the reader engaged, and a relative complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and a relative subordinate clause.

There are two parts to today's lesson.

In the first part, we will be preparing to write and in the second part you will be writing the opening.

So let's begin with preparing to write.

"A Christmas Carol" can be structured like this, opening, build-up, climax, resolution.

The opening of a narrative sets the scene and introduces the main characters.

You will be writing an opening that describes the main character Scrooge and contrasts him to the general Christmas atmosphere in the setting.

Your narrative setting description needs to include the following linguistic features: precise and ambitious vocabulary.

This should include a range of adjectives, nouns, verbs, and adverbs.

You developed lots of these in your plan.

A range of sentence types to improve text flow.

Simple and compound sentences, adverbial complex sentences, and relative complex sentences.

And direct speech punctuated correctly.

Linguistic features are types of words and language that a writer chooses carefully.

We can use the notes from your plan to form full sentences.

You will use these notes to form sentences that contrast Scrooge's character to the general Christmas atmosphere.

Here is an example of some of the notes from our plan.

We can see expanded noun phrases like solitary, cold man, grumpy, elderly miser which we know contrasts the general joyous Christmas atmosphere.

Using a range of sentences in our writing helps with text flow.

I am going to read this model to you, listen carefully.

In the middle of London's festivities, one bitter resident emerged, who did not feel an ounce of Christmas spirit.

This miserable, cold-eyed man begrudgingly trudged down the snow-covered pavements.

As he took each heavy step through the merry crowds, the disdain he felt grew more obvious on his face.

Ebenezer Scrooge was a grumpy, old miser and he took pleasure in being unkind to others.

Let's take a look at the different sentence types in this model.

The first sentence uses the relative pronoun who to begin a relative clause.

This becomes a relative complex sentence, the relative pronoun who has been used to add detail about the noun that came before it, the bitter resident.

The next sentence is a simple sentence because it contains one main clause.

Next we have a sentence that begins with the subordinating conjunction as.

As has started an adverbial clause and then a comma has been used to separate this from the main clause, so this is an adverbial complex sentence.

And the final sentence uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses and form a compound sentence.

Let's look at the rules for simple and compound sentences.

A sentence made of just one main clause.

Just one idea is called a simple sentence.

It contains one main clause.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a coordinating conjunction.

Main clause, coordinating conjunctions and, or, or but followed by another main clause.

Let's now look at the rules for an adverbial complex sentence.

When an adverbial subordinate clause is joined to a main clause, it makes an adverbial complex sentence.

The main clause can come first and then be stretched by the adverbial subordinate clause or the adverbial subordinate clause can come at the beginning of the sentence and then a comma must be used to separate it from the main clause.

An a clause must begin with a subordinating conjunction, for example, as, when, while.

These are just some of the subordinating conjunctions that can be used, but these ones will be really useful for showing the contrast between Scrooge and the atmosphere.

You can use these subordinating conjunctions to say that while one thing was happening in the atmosphere, another thing was happening with Scrooge demonstrating the contrast.

Let's check your understanding.

Match the sentence types to their definitions.

For sentence types, we have A, simple sentence, B, compound sentence, C, adverbial complex sentence.

The definitions are a sentence formed of a main clause and an adverbial subordinate clause.

A sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea.

And a sentence formed of two main clauses and a joining word.

Pause the video now and match these sentence types to their definitions.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

A simple sentence is a sentence made of just one main clause with just one idea.

A compound sentence is a sentence formed of two main clauses and a joining word.

And an adverbial complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and an adverbial subordinate clause.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of these different sentence types.

We are now going to learn a little bit more about relative complex sentences.

The use of these will be particularly helpful in your narrative opening.

A relative complex sentence is a sentence formed of a main clause and a relative subordinate clause.

The relative subordinate clause begins with one of the following relative pronouns and adds detail about the noun that precedes it.

The relative pronoun who is used to add detail about a person.

And the relative pronoun which is used to add detail about a thing.

Let's check your understanding.

Which of the following are relative pronouns used to begin a relative clause? A, when.

B, where.

C, who.

D, which.

Pause the video and select the correct answers now.

The answers are C and D.

The relative pronouns who and which are used to begin a relative clause.

Who is used when adding detail about a person and which is used when adding detail about a thing.

A relative complex sentence can be formed in two ways.

The relative subordinate clause can follow the main clause.

Let's take a look at an example sentence.

In the middle of London's festivities, one bitter resident emerged, who did not feel an ounce of Christmas spirit.

Here the main clause comes first and the relative subordinate clause follows it.

A comma must be used to separate the main clause from the relative clause.

The relative subordinate clause can also be embedded within the main clause.

Let's take a look at an example of this.

His footsteps, which were slow and deliberate, disrupted the festive spirit with each tread.

Here we have the beginning of the main clause, a comma, the relative subordinate clause, another comma, and the rest of the main clause.

Let's check your understanding.

Select the appropriate relative pronoun for each of the following relative complex sentences.

I will read them to you.

A, his eyes contained an evil glint, scanned the street and he huffed in annoyance.

B, Scrooge was an elderly, sour man, wore his disgust for Christmas like a badge of honour.

And C, Scrooge possessed a permanent scowl on his face.

He used to express his misery and discontent.

Pause the video and select the appropriate relative pronoun for each of these sentences now.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

A, his eyes, which contained an evil glint scanned the street and he huffed in annoyance.

Here the relative pronoun, which, has been used because the relative clause is adding detail about a thing, his eyes.

B, Scrooge, who was an elderly, sour man, wore his disgust for Christmas like a badge of honour.

Here the relative pronoun, who, has been used because the relative clause is adding detail about a person, Scrooge.

And C, Scrooge possessed a permanent scowl on his face, which he used to express his misery and discontent.

Here the relative pronoun, which, has been used because the relative clause is adding detail about a thing, the scowl on Scrooge's face.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of relative complex sentences.

It's now time for your first task and it is a talk task.

Say the first few sentences of your narrative opening.

Make sure you include the following.

Precise vocabulary from your plan describing Scrooge.

Contrast between Scrooge's character and the atmosphere.

A range of sentence types including a relative complex sentence.

Here is an example starting sentence.

Amidst the cheerful Christmas crowds of London, there was one.

Complete the main clause here by introducing Scrooge and contrasting his character to the cheerful Christmas crowds.

You can then follow this with a relative clause adding detail about Scrooge.

Pause the video and already rehearse your sentences with your partner now.

Welcome back.

I loved listening to you orally rehearsing your sentences.

You did such a great job at including all of the appropriate linguistic features.

Let's take a look at a good example together.

Amidst the cheerful Christmas crowds of London, there was one sour, old soul, who despised the festive season with a passion.

As he eerily made his way down the snow-covered streets, his disdain grew with each step.

Ebenezer Scrooge cast a dark shadow over the city's festivities and he was utterly unapologetic about it.

We can see lots of examples of precise vocabulary within this.

Sour, old soul, snow-covered streets, dark shadow, utterly unapologetic.

For contrast between Scrooge's character and the atmosphere, the first sentence really achieves this.

Amidst the cheerful Christmas crowds of London, there was one sour, old soul.

That really shows the difference between the atmosphere in London and Scrooge's character.

This sentence then uses the relative pronoun who to add a relative clause, who despise the festive season with a passion.

So there is my relative complex sentence too.

The next sentence uses the subordinating conjunction as to begin an adverbial clause.

As he eerily made his way down the snow-covered streets, his disdain grew with each step.

So this is an adverbial complex sentence.

And the final sentence uses the coordinating conjunction and to join two main clauses forming a compound sentence.

So we can see the use of a range of sentence types.

Well done again for orally rehearsing your sentences.

I am sure you are feeling really ready to do your writing.

It's now time for the second and most exciting part of the lesson where you are going to be writing your opening.

When we write, we always try to do these things.

Plan and say each sentence before we write it.

Use punctuation where we know the rules.

Vary our sentence types.

Write letters neatly on the line in joined handwriting.

Sound out words to spell them accurately.

And read our sentences out loud to check they make sense and edit to improve our writing if necessary.

Here is the success criteria for your writing today.

I will read it to you, listen carefully.

I have described Scrooge while contrasting his character to the general Christmas atmosphere.

I have used a range of sentence types, including at least one relative complex sentence, and I have included at least one piece of direct speech.

You will use the notes from your plan for writing today.

Your plan also contains ideas for direct speech from Scrooge.

Here is an example of some of the ideas we developed for Scrooge's direct speech.

Bah Humbug! Utter nonsense.

And we developed a range of verbs and adverbs to use in the reporting clause instead of said.

Bitterly muttered, grumbled irritably.

Let's remind ourselves of the rules for direct speech.

You will only use speech first today.

When writing a piece of direct speech using speech first format, we open with inverted commas.

We then use a capital letter to begin the speech.

At the end of the speech, we put a piece of punctuation, an exclamation mark, a question mark, or a comma.

We close the speech with inverted commas.

Then we write a reporting clause to let the reader know who spoke and we end the sentence with a full stop.

Let's take a look at an example.

"What nonsense!" Scrooge muttered with displeasure.

What nonsense are the words that Scrooge spoke.

We know this because the inverted commas are around the direct speech.

Scrooge muttered with displeasure is the reporting clause.

It lets the reader know who spoke and how they said it.

Let's check your understanding.

What is incorrect or missing in these direct speech examples.

Remember for speech first we use inverted commas to open the speech, a capital letter to begin the speech, a piece of punctuation at the end of the speech, an exclamation mark, a question mark, or a comma.

We close the speech with inverted commas.

We write a reporting clause to let the reader know who spoke.

And we end the sentence with a full stop.

I will read these sentences to you and then you will need to examine each of these sentences to check what is incorrect or missing and ensure each one is punctuated correctly.

A, "Humbug! exclaimed Scrooge as he scowled at carolers.

B, a ridiculous waste of time and money, Scrooge grumbled.

C, "Out of my way, delinquents" Scrooge snapped with rage.

Pause the video and identify the incorrect or missing pieces of punctuation in these direct speech examples.

Let's take a look at the answers together.

For A, "Humbug!" exclaimed Scrooge as he scowled at carolers.

This sentence was missing the inverted commas at the end of the direct speech, after humbug and exclamation mark, and it was also missing the full stop at the end of the reporting clause.

For B, "A ridiculous waste of time and money," Scrooge grumbled.

This piece of direct speech was missing both sets of inverted commas.

Open the inverted commas at the very beginning of the sentence and then the closing of inverted commas after the comma before the reporting clause.

And C, "Out of my way, delinquents!" Scrooge snapped with rage.

This piece of direct speech was missing the piece of punctuation at the end of the speech before it was closed with inverted commas.

Here because the reporting clause says that Scrooge snapped with rage, an exclamation mark is the most appropriate piece of punctuation to use.

Well done for demonstrating your understanding of punctuating direct speech.

I am now going to model the first few sentences of the opening to you and then I'll need your help checking it against the success criteria.

Listen carefully.

In the midst of London's festive cheer, there was one joyless resident, who firmly despised Christmas.

As he resentfully walked through the crowds, he scowled at excited shoppers.

Ebenezer Scrooge was a grumpy, old miser and he didn't try to hide it.

I would now like you to see if you can spot where I have met each point on the success criteria.

Pause the video and discuss with your partner.

You were so great at checking my writing against the success criteria.

Well done.

Let's go over this together now.

For I have described Scrooge while contrasting his character to the general atmosphere.

Let's read the first sentence one more time.

In the midst of London's festive cheer, there was one joyless resident who firmly despised Christmas.

Here I have shown a clear contrast between the festive atmosphere in London and Scrooge's character, which is joyless.

So I can tick that for I have used a range of sentence types, including at least one relative complex sentence.

The first sentence uses the relative pronoun who to begin a relative clause, who firmly despised Christmas.

This is describing Scrooge.

So that is a relative complex sentence.

The next sentence uses the subordinating conjunction as to begin an adverbial clause, as he resentfully walked through the crowds, and this is followed by the main clause, so that is an adverbial complex sentence.

And the final sentence uses the coordinating conjunction and to form a compound sentence.

So we can tick that point on the success criteria.

And for I have included at least one piece of direct speech.

You spotted that I have not yet included direct speech in my first few sentences, and that's okay, but I would need to ensure that I included a piece of direct speech later on in the opening.

It's now time for you to use your plan and the success criteria to write the opening.

I will read the success criteria to you one more time.

I have described Scrooge while contrasting his character to the general Christmas atmosphere.

I have used a range of sentence types, including at least one relative complex sentence, and I have included at least one piece of direct speech.

Remember that for a relative complex sentence, the relative clause can come after the main clause or it can be embedded within the main clause.

You need to use one of the relative pronouns, who or which to begin a relative clause.

Who is used when adding detail about a person and which is used when adding detail about a thing.

Pause the video and write your narrative opening now.

Well done for working so hard on writing and completing the opening of your narrative.

It's now time for you to read your writing back to check it makes sense and edit any punctuation errors.

You should also check your writing against the success criteria to make sure you have met each point.

Tick each box in the success criteria when you are sure you have completed it.

Pause the video to read and reflect on your work now and make any necessary edits or improvements.

Well done for reading over your work and making any necessary edits or improvements.

I am sure you did a fantastic job at meeting the success criteria.

Let's now take a look at a good example of the opening together.

I will read this to you.

Amidst the shared Christmas merriment in London, there was one solitary, cold individual, who held utter disdain for the season.

This ominous figure bitterly made his way down the snow-covered streets.

His footsteps, which were slow and deliberate, disrupted the festive spirit with each tread.

Ebenezer Scrooge was a grumpy, elderly miser who made no attempt to hide his resentment for the Christmas season.

A scowl marred his face and he possessed a cruel glint in his eyes.

He paid no care or attention to those in his way as he barged into crowds and muttered insults.

When he approached a group of merry, festive carol singers, he stared menacingly at them.

"Humbug!" he snarled cruelly.

Everything he saw, even the joy of excited children, filled him with disgust.

"What a waste of time and money," he grumbled while his voice dripped with scorn.

Let's take a look at how this meets the success criteria.

For contrasting Scrooge's character to the Christmas atmosphere.

Let's take a look at the first sentence.

It begins by saying, amidst the shared Christmas merriment in London.

So this reminds the reader of the joyous Christmas atmosphere, and then it follows by saying there was one solitary, cold individual who held utter disdain for the season.

This shows a clear contrast.

Then throughout the opening, there are more pieces of description that really convey how much Scrooge's character contrast the setting.

His footsteps, which were slow and deliberate, disrupted the festive spirit with each tread.

A scowl marred his face and he possessed a cruel glint in his eyes.

He paid no care or attention to those in his way as he barged into crowds and muttered insults.

So we can definitely take that first point.

For the use of a range of sentence types including at least one relative complex sentence.

We can see the first sentence uses the relative clause, who held utter disdain for the season.

This relative clause comes after the main clause and it describes Scrooge.

Then there is a sentence which says his footsteps, which was slow and deliberate, disrupted the festive spirit with each tread.

This relative clause has been embedded within the main clause and it describes his footsteps.

So we already have at least two examples of relative complex sentences.

Further down, I can spot an example of a compound sentence.

A scowl marred his face and he possessed a cruel glint in his eyes.

And a bit further down, we can see an example of an adverbial complex sentence.

When he approached a group of merry, festive carol singers, he stared menacingly at them.

So we can definitely take that point and for at least one piece of direct speech, I can see two examples here.

"Humbug!" he snarled cruelly and "What a waste of time and money," he grumbled while his voice dripped with scorn.

The correct punctuation has been used to demarcate the speech in both of these examples and really precise verbs and adverbs have been used in the reporting clause to describe how Scrooge spoke, so we can tick that.

We've now come to the end of our lesson, so let's go over a summary together.

The introduction of Scrooge's character greatly contrasts the general Christmas atmosphere in the opening.

Precise vocabulary, including show and tell and direct speech, conveys a character's traits and feelings.

using a range of simple, compound, and complex sentences supports text flow.

A relative complex sentence uses a relative pronoun, who or which, to provide greater detail about a noun.

And inverted commas are used to demarcate speech and a piece of punctuation separates speech from the reporting clause.

I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching you this lesson and reading lots of your rich description of Scrooge's character.

Well done again for all of your hard work in today's lesson.