Lesson video

Hi everyone, it's me, Ms. Chu.

And in this lesson you are going to be editors, because we are going to be editing the second half of our non-chronological report about anglerfish.

So when you are ready, let's get editing.

The outcome for today is I can edit the second section and conclusion of a non-chronological report.

The key words for this lesson are my turn, and then your turn.

Editing.

Punctuation.

Sentence structure and language.

Well done.

What is editing? Editing is the process of improving writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

Punctuation is a set of standardised symbols and marks used in written language to structure sentences.

And sentence structure refers to the way words are arranged and organised within sentences to convey meaning.

Written language is the use of specific words and phrases to convey meaning.

The lesson is split into three parts.

Let's have a look at what they are.

Editing punctuation.

Editing sentence structure, and then finally, editing language.

So let's start on the first part.

Editing punctuation.

Editing is the process of making changes to improve writing to ensure text flow and overall quality.

When you edit, you decide what you will change, and what you will keep the same about your writing.

Even really successful writers need to edit their work.

Editing doesn't mean rewriting everything again.

It is about being selective with what you want to improve.

The job of an editor is to check for mistakes in punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, and make improvements in language choices.

And in this lesson, like I said at the beginning, you are going to be editors! So let's do a quick check.

Editing is the process of what? Is it rewriting a whole piece of text? Is it making improvements to language choices? Making improvements to sentence structure? Or only correcting handwriting? Pause the video and have and think about what the answer is, or the answers are.

Okay, so is it about rewriting a whole piece of text? No.

It is about making improvements to language choices.

And is there another one? Yes! It's about making improvements to sentence structure too! Well done.

It is not only about correcting handwriting.

Now when we edit punctuation, we should always, always follow the grammar rules for punctuation.

Punctuation can affect the flow and coherence of the text.

When you edit punctuation, you should check for missing or incorrectly used, get ready, capital letters, full stops, and commas.

What are the two uses of capital letters? Do you remember? Are they used at the beginning of sentences? They're used at the end of questions? Are they used to begin proper nouns? Or are they used to begin adjectives? Pause the video and think about what the answers are.

Okay, get ready to point with me in three, two, one.

They are used at the beginning of sentences, and they are used to begin proper nouns.

Well done! Let's have a look at this sentence for a moment.

"This report has provided information about the appearance, habitats, and diet of this fascinating creature.

If you'd like to find out more, visit your local library, or use the Internet." Hmm, let me use this checklist.

Have I checked for missing, or incorrectly used capital letters? No, I haven't yet.

Or full stops, or commas.

Now I think I can spot a few mistakes there.

So I'm going to make some edits to my writing.

So I've definitely missed a comma in my list.

"This report has provided information about their appearance, comma, habitat and diet." So I'm listing the things that are in the report.

I need to have my comma for a list.

And then I've put a capital letter for creature.

And I didn't need to do that because it's not a proper noun.

So you need to cross that out and change that into a lowercase C.

And then finally, I forgot to put in my commas for if you'd like to find out more, was my conditional clause, and I need a comma there.

Or visit your local library, comma, or, I need a comma before or, "or" is my coordinating conjunction and I need a comma before my coordinating conjunction "or" to join my two main clauses, which are visit your local library, and use the Internet.

So let's just look at that in-depth for a moment.

Commas for a list.

Yes, I've done that now.

No capital letter for a common noun.

And comma to separate the subordinate clause and main clause.

Finally, a comma before coordinating conjunction "or." So, I've checked for my capital letters, checked for my full stops and checked for my commas.

Remember to only use a comma when you know the rule.

When are commas used? Tick two.

Is it to mark the end of a sentence? To begin a sentence? Is it used after a fronted adverbial, or to separate items in a list? Pause the video and have a think.

Okay, let's have a look to see what the answers are.

It's used after a fronted adverbial and to separate items in a list.

Let's now move on to task A.

Reread the second section and conclusion of your non-chronological reports about anglerfish.

Then use the checklist to edit the punctuation in your work.

So just focusing on second section and the conclusion, those two parts, you are going to look out for incorrectly used or missing capital letters, full stops and commas.

Pause the video and have a go at doing those two sections.

Let's look at my section now.

What is the habitat of anglerfish? I'm just gonna quickly read this to you and I want you to spot for any of those missing pieces of punctuation that are in our checklist.

"There are over 200 different anglerfish species that live in all those oceanic habitats.

Significantly, some of these remarkable creatures are found thousands of metres below sea level in perpetual darkness.

As a consequence, they have had to adapt to dwell under extreme pressure and in near-freezing temperatures.

Interestingly, the anglerfish diet is carnivorous and they consume small sea animals such as shrimp, baby fish, and sea snails.

Although they are relatively small in size, they can swallow prey up to twice their size." Okay, so I can already see some incorrectly used capital letters.

So I'm going to just make my edits there.

I need a capital letter at the beginning of my sentence on my whole section there.

And then I need to cross out capital A for anglerfish.

That does not need a capital letter.

It's not a proper noun.

Or oceanic habitats.

And then I could see that I was missing a full stop after perpetual darkness.

And I was starting my new sentence, "As a consequence." I need to start it with a capital letter.

And then obviously because it is a fronted adverbial, of course I need a comma after that.

I also need a comma after "interestingly" because that's a viewpoint fronted adverbial.

And I need my commas in my list.

Shrimp, comma, baby fish and sea snails.

And finally, let's look at the last sentence.

"Although" is the word begins that sentence and that obviously needs a capital letter.

"Although they are relatively small in size," is a subordinate clause, we need a comma there to separate that from the main clause.

"They can swallow prey up to twice their size." And I'm happy that I've checked for my capital letters.

I'm happy that I've checked for my full stops and also for my commas.

So now let's have a look at my conclusion.

"Conclusion.

In conclusion, the remarkable adaptability of the anglerfish is apparent through its defining appearance and hunting strategies.

This report has provided information about the appearance, habitat, and diet of this fascinating creature.

If you'd like to find out more, visit your local library, or use the Internet." So I need to do the same thing that I did with my second section and I need to just make the corrections.

So I can see that after "In conclusion," I need a comma.

That's my formal fronted adverbial.

In conclusion, I need to cross out my capital letter of anglerfish because I did it again in this section.

That's very silly of me.

It's not a proper noun.

And I also need to change creature to not have a capital letter either.

That's not a proper noun.

And then I need a comma for my list of things in the report.

Appearance, comma, habitat and diet.

And then similarly, I need to separate my main cause from my conditional clause.

"If you'd like to find out more," comma, "visit your local library." And then I need that comma before the coordinating conjunction "or." And a full stop at the end.

So now that I've done that, I can tick all of those three things off, because I'm happy now with my punctuation in this section.

Now we are onto the second part of our lesson.

Editing sentence structure.

We have finished editing punctuation, and we're moving on.

When we edit sentence structure, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow.

When editing, you should reread each sentence to check it makes sense.

Check compound sentences are joined by an appropriate coordinating conjunction because sometimes we do forget to put them in or we use the wrong ones.

Check that you've included a variety of sentence types because we don't want the reader to be bored when they're reading our reports.

Is it true or false? When we edit sentence structure, we slowly and carefully read our writing back.

Pause the video and think about whether this is true, or this is false.

Okay, get ready to point with me.

It is true.

Well done! Is it true because we make sure there is only one sentence type in our writing? Or is it true because we make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow? Well, I know that you know it's B.

We make changes to the way sentences are constructed to improve text flow because we try and include lots of different sentence types in our writing.

Let's have a look at this sentence.

"If you would like, visit your local library, use the Internet." I have just reread it and it doesn't make sense at all.

So we need to make it make sense.

I'm going to edit it now.

"If you would like to find out more" is part of the conditional clause.

We need to add that part in.

"Visit your local library or use the Internet." We need to use the right coordinating conjunction in there.

And in this instance, it is "or." So tick that one off.

I've reread it.

Check that it makes sense.

It does make sense.

Now I've used the right coordinating conjunction and I've now changed that sentence to become a multi-clausal sentence.

How do you form a compound sentence? Do you, A, join two main clauses with verbs? Join two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction? Join two main clauses by removing a full stop? Or write two separate main clauses? Pause the video and have a think about what the answer is.

Okay, so the answer is, get ready to point in three, two, one.

Yes, you join two main clauses with a coordinating conjunction to form a compound sentence.

Well done! Task B needs you to reread again the second section and conclusion of your non-chronological report about anglerfish.

Then use the checklist to edit the sentence structure in your work.

So in your habitat section and your conclusion section, you are going to reread each sentence to check that it makes sense.

Check compound sentences are joined by an appropriate coordinating conjunction, and check that you have included a variety of sentence types.

Pause the video and have a go at doing this task.

Right now, I need your help to just check that I have edited my writing properly.

"What is the habitat of anglerfish? There are over 200 different anglerfish species that living in all oceanic habitats.

Some of remarkable creatures have found thousands of metres below sea level in perpetual darkness.

As a consequence, they adapt to dwell under extreme pressure and in near-freezing temperatures.

Interestingly, the anglerfish diet is carnivorous.

They consume small sea animals such as shrimp, baby fish, sea snails.

They are relatively small in size.

They can swallow prey up to twice their size." I've reread it now.

I've worked out that some of those sentences don't make sense and I'm going to start my edits.

There are over 200 different anglerfish species.

That bit was fine.

"That living," so that bit doesn't make sense.

I need to cross that out, "that live in all oceanic habitats." "Some of remarkable creatures" didn't make sense.

So I need to put "these remarkable creatures are found thousands of metres below sea level," and all of that part after it seemed to be fine.

"Interestingly, the anglerfish diet is carnivorous," and I need my coordinating conjunction.

And there they consume small sea animals such as shrimp, baby fish, and I forgot my final in my list.

I forgot the last part was needs an "and" before the last item.

"Although they are relatively small in size, they can swallow prey up to twice their size." So I've included "although" there.

And then I needed my comma to separate that subordinate clause from the main clause.

So yes, I have now checked that each sentence makes sense.

I have checked that I've used the right coordinating conjunctions.

And I have now used a variety of sentence types.

I've got simple.

I've got compound.

And I've got a complex sentence.

Let's look at my conclusion now.

"Conclusion.

In conclusion, the remarkable adaptability is apparent through its defining appearance and hunting strategies.

This report has provided the appearance, habitat, and diet of this fascinating creature.

If you would like, visit your local library, use the Internet." When you first read it, it doesn't sound like that there's that many edits to make.

However, if you look at it in-depth, actually, there are.

"In conclusion, the remarkable adaptability of the anglerfish." You haven't said what it is, "is apparent through its defining appearance." And then we've said this report has provided information about, remember, because it's an information report, it's a non-chronological factual report.

So let's say that.

And then, "if you'd like to find out more," not "if you'd like." If you'd like to find out more, visit your local library, or use the Internet.

We've got our "or" coordinating conjunction there.

Okay, so now I can tick it off, that one, and that final one in my checklist.

Now we are onto the third and final part of the lesson.

Editing language.

When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

Editing word choices can have a significant impact on writing by improving clarity, tone and effectiveness.

Clarity just means how clear your writing is to the reader.

The tone means have you used the right language to match your text type? And effectiveness is just how good your writing is.

When editing, make sure that you check that language choices are ambitious.

That means that you are not just using really simple words, but you are really up-leveling the choice of words that you're using to engage the reader.

And you're choosing language that matches the text type.

True or false? When editing language for a non-chronological report, you don't need to change any of the words and phrases.

Pause the video and tick whether this is true or whether this is false.

Okay, let's have a look at the answer.

It is false.

Of course, you need to change the words or phrases.

When we edit language, we carefully review and make changes to words and phrases.

When we edit language, we make changes to the way sentences are constructed.

Well, we know it's about words and phrases, so it's A.

Let's have a look at this sentence for a moment.

"Although they are small, they can swallow big prey." I mean, it's fine.

But I think that we could definitely include much more ambitious language choices in our writing here.

"Although they are relatively small in size." So I'm including an adverb here to modify the adjective "small." So I'm giving even more information about, it's not just small, but they're relatively small in size.

So again, I'm including an adverb or phrase there.

And I crossed out big, I've just said, "prey up to twice their size." So I'm using much more specific and factual language, which is language used to accurately match the text type.

So I can tick the first one off.

Ambitious language choices.

And the second one off too.

Task C needs you to reread those two sections again.

Let me just remind you what they are.

It's the habitat section and the conclusion section.

And you're going to use the checklist to edit the language in your work.

When you edit language, check that it is ambitious to engage the reader and that it matches the text type.

Good luck, pause the video and have a go.

Now that you've edited yours, I'd like you to help me to do my one.

"What is the habitat of anglerfish? There are over 200 different anglerfish species that live in oceans.

Some of these remarkable creatures are found below sea level in darkness.

They have had to adapt to live under extreme pressure and in very cold temperatures.

The anglerfish diet is they eat meat and they eat small sea animals.

Although they are small, they can swallow big prey." Now I know this could be a lot better.

So I'm going to make some edits to this writing.

There are over 200 different anglerfish species that live in all, and then instead of "in oceans," I said in all oceanic habitats, that sounds much better.

Some of these remarkable creatures are found thousands of metres below sea level.

So here I'm giving a little bit more information about how far down they are found in perpetual darkness.

So not just darkness, but I'm saying that it's darkness that occurs all the time.

And then instead of very cold, I've given again, more specific detail about the temperatures.

We said near-freezing.

So all of these are more factual and more specific to the habitat of the anglerfish.

And then interestingly is my viewpoint fronted adverbial.

That's so important to include in a non-chronological report because we're introducing the next fact, which is very interesting.

"The anglerfish diet is they eat meat." No.

Let's use the word carnivorous.

"Is carnivorous," which means that they eat meat.

And they eat small sea animals such as I'm giving, again, more information about what they are.

And finally, "Although they are relatively small in size," we said, "Although they are small," we can add relatively small in size, they can swallow prey.

And then again, not big prey, but prey, up to twice their size.

So that gives the reader an image of how big the prey is that they can swallow.

So now that I've done that, I can take that first thing in my checklist off and the second thing in my checklist.

Finally, let's look at the conclusion.

"The adaptability of the anglerfish is apparent through its appearance and hunting strategies.

This report has provided information about the appearance, habitat, and diet of this creature.

If you would like to find out more, visit your local library." I have included now a formal fronted adverbial.

It's the conclusion section.

We need to start our sentence with the summary fronted adverbial.

"In conclusion, the adaptability of the remarkable," I'm adding an adjective here, "is apparent through it's defining appearance." Again, I am adding another adjective, so I'm just up-skilling my writing all the time.

"Of this fascinating creature." Every time I see an out, I could try and think of an appropriate adjective before it.

If you would like to find out more, visit your local library, or so we need to give the second option or use the Internet.

So now that I've done that, I can tick it off.

And finally the last thing is that one.

To summarise, editing is the process of making changes to improve writing.

The job of an editor is to check punctuation, make improvements to sentence structure, and review language choices.

The editing process is a critical part of the writing process.

I hope that you enjoyed being editors today and editing the second half of your non-chronological reports about anglerfish, because I certainly enjoyed helping you to become editors.